I was sitting around last night talking to my family (my parents and brother, as we're the only ones in my extended family out here where we're living) and I realised that although we're a really happy family unit the vast majority of the time, there seems to be a lot of angst about how we're all doing achievement-wise.

My brother dropped out of school at Grade 10, for no reason other than he didn't want to go anymore, and he doesn't really have any ambition to go back to any kind of education. It's disappointing to say the least, and I don't really want to see him floundering about from job to job in later life not making enough to make ends meet - I have an uncle like that and whilst I really like him he's a case study in regretted youth, he did exactly the same thing.

My father retired when he was fifty, as the branch of the company that he was working for (the reason we came out to South Africa) closed down, and he couldn't get another job here because his work permit explicitly states he works for abovementioned company here, or none at all. He reflects on this to me occasionally and says he'd really enjoy working for a few years more, and that he feels that he's wasting away. I can't help but feel sorry for him, I know I'd go nuts if I was in his situation.

My mother came out with my father on a house-wife permit (which has got to be the most restrictive thing I can imagine) - she cannot apply for any kind of work despite being thoroughly qualified as an engineer, and has not been able to for the last ten years - however she's taken it in her stride for the sake of raising myself and my brother, something I'm eternally grateful for. To me it just seems like the most titanic waste of potential, and you can see it in her eyes some days when she's mooching around the house.

Being surrounded by these three makes me feel kind of guilty that I'm the only one that still has the opportunity to make something of myself over an extended period of time - I really do feel quite bad, like I'm stepping over the mark.

So my question to you, S&A, is - how well are your family members doing in terms of reaching their ambitions (if you know what they even are) and how does it make you feel? Proud? Disappointed? Apathetic?

People can still be successful without schooling. They just have to take a different route. Don't pity the guy.

I'm always proud of my family, although sometimes I can joke or talk in a depreciating manner.

quote:Originally posted by Solidus:

So my question to you, S&A, is - how well are your family members doing in terms of reaching their ambitions (if you know what they even are) and how does it make you feel? Proud? Disappointed? Apathetic?

Me - Fucking hobo that dropped out half way through my final year of school. Absolute failure.

Mum - Works as a aged care/disability care worker while studying to be a nurse.

Dad - Best handyman ever. my sister got a $200,000 loan, and he built her a $500,000 house, all on his own. Other than that, he's a hobo like me, on welfare.

Siblings - No chance what so ever. Disabled, only jobs they will get will be to keep them busy as the government will support them for life. Especially one because she's 4th or 5th gen aboriginal.

Sister - Works at a carpet showroom. Makes a good living.

Over all, a bunch of failures and we know it.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Me - Fucking hobo that dropped out half way through my final year of school. Absolute failure.

Mum - Works as a aged care/disability care worker while studying to be a nurse.

Dad - Best handyman ever. my sister got a $200,000 loan, and he built her a $500,000 house, all on his own. Other than that, he's a hobo like me, on welfare.

Siblings - No chance what so ever. Disabled, only jobs they will get will be to keep them busy as the government will support them for life. Especially one because she's 4th or 5th gen aboriginal.

Sister - Works at a carpet showroom. Makes a good living.

Over all, a bunch of failures and we know it.

I wouldn't say your family are failures at all. Your father built the house his grandchildren are going to grow up in. I don't think many of us on this board can say the same, or that anyone in their family has done that. That is an incredible accomplishment.

Me - college debating whether or not i can be arsed to go to uni

My sister went to uni and now works for the council. I never see her so i dont know if she likes it.

My dad works in a bank and is working up towards being a financial advisor but hates it so much. hes got another 30 years until he can retire and just wants to make us all happy

and my mum works part time for an engeneiring company. Part time because she has back problems and cant change her job as she has no qualifications.

Sometimes it feels like i HAVE to be like my sister and go to uni to be successful.

You shouldnt feel guilty though. It gives you a chance to make up for something they couldnt do. Im sure your parents want you to be the best.

Your all happy arent you? Living a life unhappy is worse than being unhappy and wishing it was over every 5 minutes.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

People can still be successful without schooling. They just have to take a different route. Don't pity the guy.

It's not the lack of schooling I pity him for, it's the complete and utter unwillingness to do anything with his life. I've taken him out, sat him down and asked if there's anything he'd even remotely like to do, he just shrugs and looks at me with glazed eyes. Kinda feel like it's my responsibility to help him out, I just don't know how.

Unless he comes to you for help, it's not your concern.

Me - High School dropout. I have the brightest career path of anyone else in my family, due to my ambition. I'm working full-time doing Web Design and this week I just got promoted to Operations Technician. I'll be a Software Engineer within five years.

Sister - Married a guy with not much brains, but they're lucky. They own a drywall business that's doing pretty well. They own their own house and both drive expensive cars.

Brother - Works at the same place I do, but there isn't much room for advancement for him. However, he's still doing damn well. The woman he married is kind of floundering from job to job, but together, they're doing fine.

Mom - Married my Stepfather. She's real smart. Worked as a Receptionist for years, but has stopped that now to help my stepfather manage business.

Stepfather - When my mom met him, he was a professor at University of Washington. He's stopped that now and my mother has convinced him and worked with him to penetrate the real estate market. Together, they own more than thirty properties and they are literal millionaires. I'm proud of them.

Stepbrother - Still in High School. Just got accepted to University of Washington, where he's going to go and study to become a Surgeon. He's a smart boy and he'll be quite rich someday.

Overall, my family is a shining success, financially. I can't go into details on all other aspects, but there isn't any point on which I'd consider us unsuccessful.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Me - Absolute failure.

HUH?... I dont think so.

I dont think success can be tunnel viewed as academics only, theres many other types of success. Theres alot of unsuccessfull people in my family and then some extremely successfull people. It doesnt affect me, i just want to study what i enjoy and be happy.

well lets see

mom: she dropped out of high school half way through grade 11, and has being going from job to job just making ends meet.

dad: he had to take grade 12 three times and still didn't graduate. hes been a mechanic for several years but currently driving truck.(long hall) he makes quiet a bit but still has trouble paying bills.

my parents separated when i was like 6 or 7 so and both had to clam bankruptcy's so its still effecting there lives. and both of my parents are re-married

me: im still in school almost down grade 11 . i live with my boyfriend and his mom since living with my mom was to difficult and to far away to live with my dad. this are pretty good for me, i just feel bad for my brother.

brother: my brother is is grade 9 but pretty much failing. he lives with my mom and alls he does is sit on the computer playing world of war craft. he's very anti-social and i just feel sorry for him to have to deal with sonny our moms. husband.(who was the reason why i moved out)

but yes that is my family and it is hard to deal with my parent sometimes, but i just live it it.

Me- highschool dropout that COULD have a bright future ahead of me. I just got my GED and passed the asvab (military test). i dont have a job and cant seem to find one (maybe b/c i have 2 misdamenors, idk). I also use drugs for fun and to kill the pain of life. No girlfriend... oh well atleast i have drugs.

Mom- She is the manager for 'esde lauder'. She works ALOT and is getting older, 48 and still doesnt have as much money as needed to retire. She doesnt have any college.

Dad- Greatest handyman/construction worker i know. He has a VERY fucked up back that doesnt allow him to do much work anymore. He only gets a few small jobs here and there but recently has started with team national that seems very promosing with helping with his and my moms retirement.

Brother- Good for nothin no good. He just got out of jail for freaking out hardcore on speed and unknown 1950's pills. He punched and tried to kill (throwing knives at roomate) his FEMALE roomate. apparently he doesnt remember any of it! I hav'nt talked to him in months but apparantly he moved back in with this same roomate! He doesnt have any college education and works only shit jobs b/c of his felony...

Sis- She is doing very good. She is the first person in our family to go to and graduate college. She has a degree in marketing and is working with some big company (sache and sache or some big business like that). She is married to a well educatad man named Brad. They have a nice big house and drive 2 very nice and expensive cars.

This is only my imediate family!!!



[This message has been edited by Drug-Demon (edited 02-15-2007).]

Me: I'm currently going to school to get a bachelor's degree, then going to law school.

Brother: Back to post-secondary for like, the 6th time now, taking communications or something. He's kind of a loser. Although he's got some psychological disorders that he can blame everything on.

Dad: Was an engineer, got sick of it, decided to venture out into the world of entrepeneur...ness (?) and investing and he's making a shit ton more money now. He's just in a stupid amount of debt. Meh.

Mom: Has a degree in god knows what from the "old country" but is working as a cashier just so she doesn't have to sit at home all day.

My extended family are all fairly successful. Doctors, business people, an ex-CFLer... so I guess I have expectations to live up to. Although even if my family were a bunch of bums I'd still be going to school and attempting to be successful.

Since they're not successful, it doesn't.

Me- Getting "meh" but passing grades as a Junior in highschool. Want to join the Marines when I graduate and after that go to college and eventually do federal law enforcement.

Sister- very quickly climbing the ropes at the local Wal-Mart, it may not sound like much, but she's going to be an assistant manager already and she just started working there a few months ago. At this rate she could be a store manager in a few years, which makes some serious money. She has a GED and no college/technical training.

Brother- top Network Adminsistrator at a pretty big law firm. This firm is really important though because they defend the police department and local government when they have to go to court. My brother has a GED, no college education but is very skilled with computers, both hardware and software wise. He is currently looking to get a better paying job, as his fiance is pregnant.

Dad- Well, my dad has been kind of a loser for most of his life. He used to be getting a college education to become a pediatrician, but my bitch of a mother kept complaining at him to stop so he could get a better job right then(even though we were still getting by just fine with him studying and working part time). The only thing my dad does extremely well that is marketable is salesmanship. When he wants to and gets his shit together he can and does make a good living selling stuff, from cars to insurance to debt relief. He's had a lifelong interest in mining, as has my uncle. My dad's goal is to strike it rich in the mining industry, and it looks like he could very soon.

Overall my family isn't really successful, but I am proud of them none the less because they don't take any crap, don't blame anyone else, and are all working hard to improve their station in life.

My dad is a rich, successful engineer. My mom is a housewife. My older sister will have 3 degrees by this spring (she's 24). I get reminded on a daily basis what a failure I am. I graduated highschool and got into a good university, but I hate it and am quitting after this semester. But whatever, I'm lazy and I've accepted the fact that I will be poor the rest of my life.

Because I'm the oldest out of my siblings, I dont have much to add.

Mom - Elementary School Teacher

Step Dad - Former Miner, now a Middle School Teacher

Me: United States Sailor, working in the intel community.

Sister - 9th grader in High School, we dont know where shes going.

Little Brother - He's only 4. Though he's expected to continue the family mineral legacy. Little Bro is my Mom and Step Dads kid, so its a legacy I have no part in.

So in general, we're pretty successful for a Middle Class American family. My parents get by, and I save loads of money with few bills.

It affects me a lot, because I feel like my family's gonna fall through it's asshole and hang itself, and I'm the only one that can do anything, and it's getting harder by the day.

I'm in debt, my dad's in debt, and my sister is clueless.

I can't find a job because of my discharge (and this area), my dad works seasonal construction (but makes good money when not on disability), and my sister is, again, clueless. If she'd put some effort into it, she'd be rich.

You stupid egotistical pricks. This isn't a "What's my family like" safari. he is asking for advice.

BY JOVE!