I have no idea how to do this! I'm friends with this girl that I've always been attracted to, but I didn't make a move cause I was dating someone else. We are no longer together and I want to make a move on my friend. The problem is, it seems to complicated to pull off. I'm someone who values friendships, so I don't want fuck up our friendship. I tried this weekend at a party, but it just got akward and I backed off. She is pretty hot, so I don't have long before this "window" closes.

Anyone been in this situation? I'm just going to have to suck it up and do it by this weekend. I would appreciate any insight from anyone who has gone through something like this.

I'm sorry to break it to you, but trust me, she's not inteested. I tried this with a girl that I'd known for several months, and who I had become friends with. Let's just put it this way: she turned me down. If you've already become "the friend," you don't have a huge chance of somehow becoming the "boyfriend." I'm especially sure of this because you already sorta tried once, and it got awkward, so you stopped. If she liked you, don't you think she would have stepped in, assuaged the awkward feelings, and explained that she felt the same way about you? Don't ruin a friendship, man...

the man above me is correct... however.. there is still a 13.9 percent success rate of your sort if you deal your cards right (based on my observations of course)

since this girl is really hot, you have to ask yourself this question... whos the man in the relationship?

is she the one controlling you? if so then you might have to switch the roles. This girl appears as if she can have any guy she wants and that is what intimidates you...

what you truly must do is go after other, much hotter girls and give them an awesome time... when she realizes how great of a woman pleaser you are.. then she will realize that she would not want to lose you..

in order to do this however, you must be confident, and i know it might sound cliche', but you must start acting like more of a tease.. and a little comedic jerk.. not a complete asshole and not a little whimpy guy either.. :O

You must be the Jack of All Trades and the Master of None in order to Succeed... I believe in you my brother and I hope that all goes well in your crusade against the dark beautiful nymph ..

if you're confident that you can make it work, and she'll return the feeling go for it. if you guys are hanging out, try to drag her aside, maybe into a room where you two can be alone, or better yet, in public(not around people you know). tell her to close her eyes and while her eyes are closed just give her a short kiss. if you drag her into a place where you can be alone it might be obvious.

iono where i was trying to go with that but, jus tell her you wanna show her something, but she needs to close her eyes first. then kiss her. that sums it all up.



some girls really dont like ruining friendships though. but there are always guys that are excluded from this rule.

quote:Originally posted by leadspace:

I'm sorry to break it to you, but trust me, she's not inteested. I tried this with a girl that I'd known for several months, and who I had become friends with. Let's just put it this way: she turned me down. If you've already become "the friend," you don't have a huge chance of somehow becoming the "boyfriend." I'm especially sure of this because you already sorta tried once, and it got awkward, so you stopped. If she liked you, don't you think she would have stepped in, assuaged the awkward feelings, and explained that she felt the same way about you? Don't ruin a friendship, man...

It wasn't awkward for her, just for me. It was in a public place and it just didn't seem like the right time. We became friends while I was dating another girl, so it isn't like she choose to be my friend instead of something more. I wasn't very obvious when I tried the first time. It was just playful flirting, but I noticed that when I stopped she was kind of disappointed. I know she thinks I'm attractive, but I'm not sure if she wants to start something. In my mind it isn't that huge of a risk, but if I'm wrong the consequences aren't very positive. If I try and fail, I think our friendship would be awkward and tense. I'm pretty sure I'm going to make the move this weekend. I am pretty confident that I can make this work, but we've been good friends for a few years.

Anyways...anyone else ever try something like this before?

I am in nearly the EXACT situation. But I'll probably just puss out and not do a thing.

Let me know how it goes though. If it worked for you then maybe, just maybe, it could work for me too.

1.

the first most important thing is to decide whether you want to do this or not, i successfully started a romantic relationship with my bestfriend, but the relationship was unsuccessful, it took two years for us to start talking again

2.

once you have decided that you are going for it, don't waste your time, just do it, just make a move, the first time i did this i made a move just days after she had broken up with her boyfriend, but now for some reason it has been a year of me trying to start something up again but not really trying, i was successful when i just went for it

note-be prepared to lose her, if you are really close to her then think twice about doing this, but if you are certain your intentions are serious then go for it and do whatever it takes to keep it going once it's started, i took her for granted and lost her for a while

"Do it"

Now to read your rants.

Edit: If she won't be your friend afterward, she wasn't worth being a friend with.

[This message has been edited by TheParkinator (edited 02-15-2007).]

im in the exact same situation. exept, she likes this guy in like mesa (we live on the othewr side of town about an hour away) but they dont do anything they talk on the phone alot. i think its dumb but oh well. I asked her friend and she said that she wasn't lookiong for a relationship, but if she was then she'd definitly do shit with me. so should I play the waiting game or look for a temporary person? theres no doubt in my mind that when her and the other guy start fighting again that i'm gonna jump in.

only thing to do is with big extragant gestures at this point my friend xD show her what she means to you

quote:Originally posted by eXo5:

only thing to do is with big extragant gestures at this point my friend xD show her what she means to you



well, sorry to seem like a nipplesucking infant but just how do I go about doing that?

I just did that...

been friends for years and years.. really good friends for a long time now.. just today asked her out and yup

All we did was just be ourselves... we enjoyed hanging out heaps.. just spend more time with her, quality time.. offer to hang out, take her places, by yourselves or with friends.. and enjoy yourself!

Good luck man!

And to all those that struggle with this concept... Friends into girlfriends/boyfriends can damn well work lol, being yourself is the best you can do...

my best (girl) friend of two years... we got together and had an awesome relationship that went for another 2 years before she moved town...

This girl, who i just started going out with today.. been an close friend for a long time.. and yes, 'friend' , not the normal 'date' ladder.. but the good friend one, i was her best friend who was a guy..

It's possible lads!



[This message has been edited by mek777 (edited 02-16-2007).]

ive done this, actually the chick made the first move, i really was not interested in getting into a relationship, because i valued her friendship and knew it would end when our relationship did, and guess what? it did, and she was chill so that sucked but, if you really want to go for it and dont mind losing her friendship than go ahead.

bump

Making the move tommorow at a friends 18th birthday party, I'm also going to ask her to Prom. Feeling pretty good about this.

hey i might make a move too. im also quite high at 2 am. wats crackin totse?

quote:Originally posted by 40ozcasualty:

hey i might make a move too. im also quite high at 2 am. wats crackin totse?

Pulling an all nighter by myself

I have to go open up the store I work at in an hour and a half.

that sucks. im gonna go hit my last bowl for 2 weeks I cant be too retarted for tomarrow.

Update:

This weekend was awesome and almost surreal. So, we were at my friends birthday party and we started just hanging out and talking. I told her that she looked amazing and if I could talk to her in private. We went outside and I asked her to prom and she said yes. I didn't even think about it and I kissed her. She said "What was that?". I didn't reply and we just started to make out.

It was cold out so we went in my car and started talking. I told her that I couldn't stand just being her friend and that I thought we should start to see each other. She agreed, but told me that she wasn't expecting anything like that from me. We went back to the party and had an awesome time.

I took her to breakfast on Sunday and I haven't seen her since because I'm working 50 hours this week. I'm picking her up in a couple mins, I just wanted to update this thread...

It is entirely possible and after the first kiss everything just seemed natural. There isn't any awkward moments because we are so comfortable around each other.

Ladder theory is melting, melting-g-g!

That's awesome to see it worked out!



Best of luck to you two!

quote:Originally posted by Chinese Food52:

That's awesome to see it worked out!



Best of luck to you two!

quote:Originally posted by CatharticWeek:



Ladder theory is melting, melting-g-g!

I don't know about that. There has always been a mutual attraction, but I was dating one of her friends when we became friends. Once we broke up, I was still her friend for about 6 months up until now.

I put her above my old girlfriend on the "ladder" for a long time, but I'm too nice of a guy to cheat on her or dump her just for her friend.

Thanks for the support, I think when you're still in high school it is possible for you to be friends with a girl that you're attracted to. It is also possible for a girl to be friends with a guy who shes attracted to when there still in high school. I think after that, the ladder theory works pretty well.