What was your most embarrassing experience involving any form of sex, whether it be regular, gay, oral, animal, etc.?

Eh, one time we were going at it in her room, and her mom came home. We were in her bedroom, with the door closed. Her mom came in the front door and looked up 'That door better not be closed!' I pulled out immediately, and scampered to the chair to find my pants. But I tripped and crashed into the computer desk in my haste. So right after she called up she heard rushed footsteps and a loud crash. I'm sure she knew. But she didnt say anything.

I don't embarrass easily.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

I don't embarrass easily.

I don't have sexual experiences easily.

The first one's always a joke. Just the 7 trillion things running through your mind are bound to make it not fun. Nothing really embarrassing happened to me though, except if you consider me going out on a date, and coming home only to have to jerk off.

whiskey dick. most embarrasing shit ever

At uni we have very thin walls, so my friend in the room next to mine always knows when I've had a girl over. So anyways one time I was going at it with a girl, and being quite drunk, I managed to do her over three times before I came myself. The last time we did anal and she made me throttle her slightly to make her come harder - she's not a quiet person at the quietest of times - so obviously my friend heard. She was so loud that afterwards my friend in the next room said loudly 'christ, even I need a cigarette after that'

Embarrasing? No, just awesome.

To get him back, he had a girl over, and I heard her say to him 'did you come?' and I shouted 'I sure did'

The only really embarrasing story I have is that I contracted chlamydia. Gotta wear a condom, kids.

Oh and once, when I was young and inexperienced, I came after literally half a minute of blowjob.

quote:Originally posted by freezedrop:

whiskey dick. most embarrasing shit ever

ya...thats what I was going to say....

nothing worse than when you can't get it up, but the girl is still going at you hard, grabbing your limp shit trying to get you going...but it's going nowhere....there's nothing you can say...

____________________

this isn't embarrassing to me, but once right after I finished fucking a chick she was laying across my stomach, looking up at me...and then she farted. and then she did it again. loud.

I was absolutely disgusted.

Dad accidentily walked in once, nothing too bad. I didn't really care, but it took a few minutes to get the girl back in the mood.

[This message has been edited by Parallax (edited 02-14-2007).]

Started period in the middle of sex. We thought something was wrong, and I was freaking out and called the doctor's about it and asked my mom what was wrong...but then I wouldn't stop bleeding and realized it was my period.

This one time when i was 15 haha me and thsi chick were fucken around and she was still a virgin same with me.I was about to put it in and then i shot cum all over her stomic cuz she was giving me head before.

I lol'ed and left



Anothor time this chick was kissing my ass with lip stick on. for a picture hahah and i sharted when she got with in an inch.

Funny shit non the less

LMAO, I ate 4 xanax, and then snorted 2, I was soo fucked up, that when it came time to stick the cock in the pussy, I found I had a case of rubber dick, and was unable to get hard...

that was pretty embarassing

I have trouble getting it up sometimes... and it sucks. Or sometimes When I cum in like 5 minutes... actually one time my dad came to the top of the stairs while i was fucking my girlfriend at the time and is like who's down there? she dashes for the bathroom, grabs her clothes. I search around for my clothing, and can only find shorts (they hang below the point at which pubic hair starts. yeah). luckily, he doesn't come down and just says she has to leave. Turns out she grabbed my shirt and boxers in her mad dash for the bathroom. Also, one time i fucked a drunk 16 year old who happend to be one of my closest friends.

Jumped into an ice cold pool and jumped right out. My girlfriend at the time pulled my swim trunks down and showed all her female friends the turtle.

If you are a man you all know what ice cold water does. She thinks it's funny til this day.

quote:Originally posted by Markalon:

If you are a man you all know what ice cold water does.

"I was in the pool!"

Fell asleep in the middle of sex once. Of course I'm not sure if that would be embarassing for me or the girl. I woke up when she was cuming, and I almost said, "Oh! We were still doing this?!"

And another time, I was sleeping with my girlfriend, and I mean actually asleep, and I was having a sex dream about her, about me fingering her. Anyway, wake up and my hands are actually down her underwear. She then said, "You had better been dreaming about me."

That was funny but also sort of embarassing.

Well not really embarrassing for me, but...

Me and my best friend took a trip to portland to visit a girl of mine and he brought his girlfriend along. We ended up having sex in a dorm room less than 10 feet apart. We definitely gave the thumbs up and were making funny faces at each other the whole goddamn time. The girls were both embarrassed as hell the next day.

when ur mom queefed

One time i tripped in the hallway at school

I was SOOOOO embarrassed

My girlfriend started having her period right when i was fingering her.

It grossed me out but now i feel ok about it, period blood doesn't freak me out anymore.

Never haveing one

quote:Originally posted by ApocalypsePlease:

I don't have sexual experiences easily.

hahahahaha



mine would be this one time i was messin around with my gf in the hot tub and whatnot. so we went back inside for a good five minutes and went at it again, and i picked her up and as i was holding her making out with her, she pulled away and just smiled. after i set her down and went in the hallway and looked in the mirror, i had a god damn booger on my face from the hot tub. let this be a lesson to you all in case you ever encounter a similar situation. hahaha it sucked but it was funny as hell

Probably when I was just sitting on top of him naked, and my period started to happen. His belly button filled up with blood.

It was sucks.

Or possibly when I was really trashed at my birthday party and I went to see a boy I wanted to the door, we started kissing and well, I started to fall over and grabbed out to steady myself. Unfortunatly for me (and him I guess) I grabbed the waist line of his pants. He was wearing elastic waisted pants, both the pants and I hit the floor.

I think we were both pretty red faced.

I had the freakiest night the other night. My bf and I were having sex in the school parking lot last at night (so it was empty and dark) when some light beams came from behind. After the lights didn't leave, we started frantically trying to put clothes on... I kept yelling at him to get my skirt, when I hear the cop's voice through the window. Apparently, the cop was peering in for awhile and we just hadn't notice. The thing that made it so scary was that I'm a minor, and my bf had just turned 18... so I'm not exactly sure how the laws worked against us, but I knew we could've been fucked if my bf didn't lie about his age. That was probably more traumatizing than embarassing. At that moment, my life basically flashed before my eyes and I was seriously ready to run butt naked across the street and away.

Oh, and I think queefing is fairly embarassing.

quote:Originally posted by Kooky:

I had the freakiest night the other night. My bf and I were having sex in the school parking lot last at night (so it was empty and dark) when some light beams came from behind. After the lights didn't leave, we started frantically trying to put clothes on... I kept yelling at him to get my skirt, when I hear the cop's voice through the window. Apparently, the cop was peering in for awhile and we just hadn't notice. The thing that made it so scary was that I'm a minor, and my bf had just turned 18... so I'm not exactly sure how the laws worked against us, but I knew we could've been fucked if my bf didn't lie about his age. That was probably more traumatizing than embarassing. At that moment, my life basically flashed before my eyes and I was seriously ready to run butt naked across the street and away.

Oh, and I think queefing is fairly embarassing.

What? Why would you have been fucked? Are you 12 or something and your boyfriend is a pedophile?

LYING to a cop about his age? Is he fucking retarded? What if the cop asked to see his ID, or ran the license plates? He would be fucking PISSED off, better idea to just tell the truth. What is he going to get mad for? Not lying to him?

D.R. gives this thread his seal of approval

My turn:

Long ago, back when I actually had a gf and still a virgin, I missed the hole. I didnt even get into the bus, I was just hoping bone.

Other times: When I stuck it into her and cummed.

And getting caught by her Mom when we first started dating. Never heard the end of that one...



[This message has been edited by DesertRebel (edited 02-18-2007).]

I threw up on a girl i was fucking that i picked up while drinking

thats pretty much it

Well, I was on the edge of my bed once, hungover to fuck and I was sort of playing with my pecker. Not full on jerkin' the gherkin, but just touching myself with no clothes on. I'm gazing out of the window in my hungover state and I suddenly notice there's a guy staring through his window, probbaly able to see me.

So, I grab a pillow over it, wave to him and fall over, embarassed but able to sleep once again.



Times having sex: Not being able to get a jonny.

A girl going "Have you cum yet?" Me of course having finished like 5 minutes before, I was just riding on for her pleasure.

Everytime I've attempted sex with my current girlfriend, I can't get a hard-on. Like literally, right when I'm on top of her. It sucks alot. I've just given up.

Maybe I should get some XTC...

bieng woken up by friends with a camera and a hideously obese chick next to me... don't think anyhing happened though well at least I hope not

I was at a party and a few hot girls got in there underwear and jumped in a pool. Of course a few guys felt the need to follow them in there (me being one of them). Well later on we try to fit maybe 10 people in a honda civic, which pretty much turns into a grope fest. I'm feeling up a girl and she reaches down to my pants and feels my junk...but its still shrivelled all to hell. She thought it was hilarious but I couldn't convince her that it was shrinkage. I ended up not getting any that night.

well, i was with this really hot chick that i was amazed i got, and she was on the verge of an orgasm, and out of nowhere this story that one of my friends told me earlier in the popped in to my head and i started laughing, like cracking up, not able to talk. that pretty much killed the mood. another time i was really trashed at a party and i was nailing this chick and i had just blown when i realized i don't have a condom on, i was like "are you on the pill" she said she wasn't, i started to freak the fuck out, and so did she. but i come to find out that i was apparently shooting blanks or something because she isn't pregnant. but still that scared the shit out of me, she was also stupid not to be on birth control.

quote:Originally posted by WhyteWydow:

Maybe I should get some XTC...

XTC gives you an über case of what doctors call "t3h limp dick".

Don't use E.

Umm, mine happened just recently. I moved into my little outside house. It was just freshly built. We're lying on our sides, I'm taking her from behind. Seriously getting into it, then the fucking building inspector and my dad walk in. He was there to see if it was safe to be in. It wasn't supposed to be inhabited yet. Luckily they only got a good view of my ass and he was a cool old guy who didn't fine me shit for already being in there.

Thing is, I just assumed that I forgot to lock the door. But as I found out later, I had locked the door, but it wasn't shutting properly and all it took was a bit of a push to open it.

How did I find that out? Because that same day my sister walked in on me with going down on the same girl.

After that she put her clothes on and left....through the back gate.

Haha. Now my family knows I fuck like a pro (.. ?)

not being able to actually go through with sex... it felt like sticking my dick in a coke bottle ..

we giggled and shit afterwerds... i assume we require lube / get more comfterable with one another

Well this one time me and my ex were on the edge of this guy's pool (who wasn't home) and I was kissing her so I wasn't looking at what I was doing. I reach down, pull her bikini to the side, and start trying to finger her...the whole time I'm thinking "It won't fucking go in!" Then she says "um, wrong hole"...LOL

I don't know if this is embarrassing, but it was fucking CRUEL on the girls part. Basically I was at a party and I went to hook up with this really hot chick who I didn't know was this ultra-feminist cunt, and I went into a dark room with her and she slid her hand down my pants and she had rolled up a piece of sand paper in her hand and started violently scraping my cock with it.

I started screaming in pain and she said "I fucking hate men, thats what you all deserve!" and she stormed out of the room, I looked at my cock and the head had been almost totally skinned by her attack! I ran to the bathroom and stuck my dick under the faucet.

For about two weeks I was in agony and could barely walk. Holy shit you can't imagine the pain!

^ BULLSHIT...(or else im really sorry for your cock)

i would have kicked her in the fucking head if anybody pulled that shit

quote:Originally posted by suissemista:

I don't know if this is embarrassing, but it was fucking CRUEL on the girls part. Basically I was at a party and I went to hook up with this really hot chick who I didn't know was this ultra-feminist cunt, and I went into a dark room with her and she slid her hand down my pants and she had rolled up a piece of sand paper in her hand and started violently scraping my cock with it.

I started screaming in pain and she said "I fucking hate men, thats what you all deserve!" and she stormed out of the room, I looked at my cock and the head had been almost totally skinned by her attack! I ran to the bathroom and stuck my dick under the faucet.

For about two weeks I was in agony and could barely walk. Holy shit you can't imagine the pain!

Fake. If a girl did that to me I would have knocked her out, then left the party.

NOT fake, why the fuck would i waste my time typing that? i was in such horrible pain that i was just in the mindset of salvaging what was left of my cock, i never saw the bitch again but you can bet your life if i ever come across her i will strangle the shit out of her.

[This message has been edited by suissemista (edited 02-18-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by suissemista:

NOT fake, why the fuck would i waste my time typing that? i was in such horrible pain that i was just in the mindset of salvaging what was left of my cock, i never saw the bitch again but you can bet your life if i ever come across her i will strangle the shit out of her.



You should have headbutted that bitch while you had the chance.

Good God man, I feel for you, that sounds fucking heinous.

I hope you get your vengence on her.

So what if guys only think about sex she could have just turned her nose up at you.

Fucking dyke feminists.

It does seem PRETTY unbelievable. But then again it could be totally true.

Meh

A couple of years ago my then-girlfriend and I had the house to ourselves for a week, so we embarked upon what you might call a sex odyssey. One day we decided to have a shower together, which was all good until I tried to stick my finger up her ass. She was always dead against anal, but I figured that it would have been the perfect opportunity to get her round to doing it. Instead, she retaliated by sticking her finger up my ass. I jumped like three feet in the air and nearly slipped over. That was awkward.

Queefs are never fun either. I hate the forced, awkward laughter and the fact that it never fails to kill the mood. Especially when it happens repeatedly.

quote:Originally posted by suissemista:

I don't know if this is embarrassing, but it was fucking CRUEL on the girls part. Basically I was at a party and I went to hook up with this really hot chick who I didn't know was this ultra-feminist cunt, and I went into a dark room with her and she slid her hand down my pants and she had rolled up a piece of sand paper in her hand and started violently scraping my cock with it.

I started screaming in pain and she said "I fucking hate men, thats what you all deserve!" and she stormed out of the room, I looked at my cock and the head had been almost totally skinned by her attack! I ran to the bathroom and stuck my dick under the faucet.

For about two weeks I was in agony and could barely walk. Holy shit you can't imagine the pain!



Wtf? Sounds like she assaulted you.

Too many , far too many to list. But the first one that comes to mind at this late hour...waking up with my fingers in the wrong girl (the right girl was lying on my other side).

Or the one i have recounted many times here:

Me: *badly hung over*"How old are you?"

Her:"13"



or the night i lost my virginity:

Me:"Am I doing it right?"

Her:"ZZZZzzzzz"

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Too many , far too many to list. But the first one that comes to mind at this late hour...waking up with my fingers in the wrong girl (the right girl was lying on my other side).

Or the one i have recounted many times here:

Me: *badly hung over*"How old are you?"

Her:"13"



or the night i lost my virginity:

Me:"Am I doing it right?"

Her:"ZZZZzzzzz"



LOL! too bad you never forget your first time

One time I was so stoned/drunk/spun I saw newspapers in my mind while I was trying to have sex and I was like, "Fuck I'm sorry but I am WAY too fucked up to do this. I see newspapers everywhere."

Actually come to think of it, it wasn't that embarassing.

well one time, i was at this chicks house, i was doin her and stuff, she decided to stop because she heard her cell phone ring which was in the living room she went to go get it, i was almost passed out on the bed, her dog came in and started licking me until i came, then she walked in with my load all over her dog, she forgave me, it wasnt my fault

I was on driving on the highway behind a guy I had been fucking on and off for months. I REALLY had the hots for him big time..

I sent him a text that said "follow me" and pulled into an empty truckstop. It was 3 or 4 in the morning so I thought we'd be safe.

Anyways, we were fucking in his car for about an hour when three or four trucks rolled in together to use the facilities and what not..

Later, when I got back into my own car and back on the highway.. Trucks were honking at me as I overtook them.. I can only think that they were telling eachother about it over the radio..

Some girl decides to look down my boxers before going at it. She started to giggle, the only thing I could say was "Yep, thats my penis." She later admitted it wasn't the size it was cuz she thinks boners are funny.

i wonder if i can edit this kekeke

i went to shit on her chest.... but it was diahrreah

quote:Originally posted by throopguy21:

*i realized i don't have a condom on, i was like "are you on the pill" she said she wasn't

**but i come to find out that i was apparently shooting blanks or something because she isn't pregnant.

***she was also stupid not to be on birth control.

* You're both stupid.

** Yes, you're firing blanks because she didn't happen to get pregnant. Children.

You were lucky.

** Yea, she's the only stupid one in this situation because she forgot to put the condom on and we all know contraception is soley the womans responsibility.

Please don't reproduce.

^ He said she was also stupid.

quote:Originally posted by suissemista:

I don't know if this is embarrassing, but it was fucking CRUEL on the girls part. Basically I was at a party and I went to hook up with this really hot chick who I didn't know was this ultra-feminist cunt, and I went into a dark room with her and she slid her hand down my pants and she had rolled up a piece of sand paper in her hand and started violently scraping my cock with it.

I started screaming in pain and she said "I fucking hate men, thats what you all deserve!" and she stormed out of the room, I looked at my cock and the head had been almost totally skinned by her attack! I ran to the bathroom and stuck my dick under the faucet.

For about two weeks I was in agony and could barely walk. Holy shit you can't imagine the pain!

WTF Man I would of fucking knocked her. Thats battery and assult with a weapon, it would be totaly self defence. You had "evidence" to prove it. You could of knocked her out cold and youd be safe.

My future wife and I had my dads bass boat out and the urge took us, needless to say before moving around in a bass boat with your pants around your ankles you should always make sure all fish hooks are securely stowed away. Ya you know it 3 prong barbed hook right in the fleshy part of my ass. Fuck it hurt with her trying to pull it with a pair of needle nose pliers. Sure took the shine off the moment