It would take way too long to try and explain the background information behind mine and this girls relationship. Another pathetic case of Guy loves his best friend.. a little bit of a twist.. The onyl thing preventign a relationship is her bad habits and past experience.. She once loved her best friend and when she confronted him about it, he literally freaked out.. and they never talk anymore.. It really hurt her, and I can understand that.. She also has bad habits of when she breaks up with her boyfriends, that they no longer talk or remain friends.. I told her about 2 months back about my real intentions of wantign a relationship with her.. we have been best friends for 3 years, so alot would be at stake if things did fall apart.. I could always remain firends, but it would be tough for her.. But even if worse was to occur, I'm sure we would still be friends.. Her past b/f's just havent had any intention of wanting to remain friends..

But anyways.. It's too the point were I've watched her go relationship to the next.. and she kind of likes this one guy.. and I'm just telling her to go for it.. And she's all confused because she cant understand why i want her to go out with someone, when in the back of her mind she knows i like her.. Honestly, it's been quite a trip.. alot of ups but many downs.. And if she is going out with someone, i know it'll make me want her more.. but given the fact that I then can't have her.. I can move on.. There are actually 2 or 3 girls that really like me and want a relatonship with me, and i have denied them all because of a false hope of ever being with this girl.. I've passed up soem pretty good things.. Guess this thread is somewhat of a vent.. The thing that gets me is I know she loves me.. She tells me all the tiem she loves me an vice versa.. Reminds me that no other guy in her life means more to her.. I mean.. I see this about everyday.. good looking girl.. her decent or somewhat less than average best friend likes her.. Not being cocky.. but I'm not hideously ugly or anything.. I weight lift to keep a good an healthy physique.. and i'm thankful and love theway i look.. it's who i am.. wouldnt have it any other way..

But I guess i'm going to keep pushing for her to go out with this guy she likes.. I know who he is.. and dislike him with a passion.. it almost doesn't hurt anymore.. lol.. Moving on is tough shit, but you have to do it I suppose..

About prom.. me and her are alike.. I'm not the kind of guy who thinks it's a big deal.. lol. wear a tux..get together with friends.. party afterwards.. it's like the regular friday night, subtract the tux.. so instead of goign this year.. me and her are going to drive on the new road that goes to our small lil town.. just turn up the radio and dance in a field.. ah.. i know probably sounds corny.. but shes just amazing like that.. Well i'm done rambling.. and i know this is sad and pathetic.. hell if i really care.. but appreciate and comments nonetheless.. Take it easy

So she loves you like a big brother?

If it's even the slightest bit NOT that way, you're retarded for not taking the chance of trying to turn it into something. Her past is only of real concern if she's a slut, cheating, or abusive toward drugs.

And why would you let your best friend date a guy you despise?

Dude, this girl seems to make you feel like nothing else matters and vice versa, she says she loves you and you obviously love her back. Think about a future with her in it as your lover, really think, if you can see yourselves being happy, then go for it. But if you see her getting hurt or yourself getting hurt, or it just not working, then maybe you just need to have her as a friend.

She's told me she loves me.. not in the big brother type of sense.. lol.. I dont know.. Yea, I love her and what not.. alot of it has to do with her.. she's influenced by everyone.. The reason me and her have such a strogn relationship is because she can be her complete self around me, and there is no one else she feels more comfortable around than me.. I got really aggrevated at how things were going last year and stopped talking to her for about 3 weeks.. I couldnt stand the fact that maybe all em and her could be was best friends. .then i noticed she wasnt at school one day.. ( she never misses school).. turned out she broke down the night before because she thought she had done somethign to loose me.. she's afraid that if me and her pursue anything greater than friendship and it doesnt work out, that'll she'll loose me for good.. Alot of it has to with her friends and family.. and the way she thinks.. I'm mean me and her friends talk form time to time.. nothing big.. and her family likes me.. We kind of come form 2 different social circles.. She's kind of drawn back and maybe a little shy.. I'm kind of outgoing.. musician.. friends with everyone.. and known for some of my crazy antics.. lol.. She has told me about this inferiority complex she has.. she feels she always has to please everyone else and sacrifice her own happiness..

funny thing is.. I had it all planned out.. Figured I'd finally just throw it all o nthe table.. I was actually lookign at some flowers today.. almost bought them but decided i'd check another shop today.. figure i'd lay it on the line.. tell her that i still feel the same and i want to see where things could go if we gave them a chance.. only to find out that someone had beat me to it.. damn.. lol.. i mean.. im not mad right now.. it's just damn.. Finally get planned to do it, and i get a swift kick in the balls.. thinking about just telling her anyways.. might mess with the friendship.. might not.. but somethigns you jsut have to do.. and i never have regrets.. if i tell her or not, i know i'll do the right thing..

I went through the same thing.

I have the same personality as you and her she.

No offence but she's sounds unstable in the same way the girl I'm talking about was.

She'll be incredibly happy if you end up being with her, but if you ever break it off she'll be heart broken and never foget it, maybe even suicide.

This is a classic "just friends" scenario. It sounds like to her you're more of a "girlfriend" than anything. By that I mean you're just a source of emotional support. There's no attraction there.

You're better off breaking it off. Forget about her for a fews weeks and focus on yourself. Get into a relationship, You'll feel much better.



[This message has been edited by Blue_Yonder (edited 02-13-2007).]

*cries*

Her fears are valid.

I mean, if shes had a messed up relationship with every guy, what makes you think that your relationship with her will be any different?

If she 'likes you back' that way, then its an issue of trust. Maybe she doesnt trust you enough to still be there if things ended badly between you two. I know you may be like, "What the fuck? I've given her everything!" but maybe thats the problem.

What I would suggest is to start hanging out with other people. You can still hang out with her, just go out without her sometimes, hang out with you guy friends, or other girl friends or whatever.

Back off of her.

If she comes after you.... then you know.

But maybe she just likes the fact that you fawn over her all of the time, and she'll want you to do that again.

So when she comes after you, play it cool for a while.

If she's not willing to set some boundaries, you've got to step up to the plate and do it.

Stop fuckin around and being 'that guy' whos the best friend!

It's not that she doesnt trust me.. I'm the only person she really does trust whole heartedly.. And I mean, It's really understandable.. She doesnt trust herself.. If we had a relationship and things didnt work out.. She has thing thing about nto being able to talk to her ex's.. and that would mean losing the only person she can trust..

I've tried all sorts of things and continue to use what works the best.. I dont give her everything and dont hang out with her all the time.. I honestly wouldnt mind.. but i mean.. lol. girls want what they cant have.. same with guys really.. What is really boils down to is she likes me.. and I like her.. (even though the feelings do go beyond that).. I would most definatley would like to pursue a relationship with her..and worst comes to worst.. nothing would change in the end.. even though to even think of the worst is hard.. i mean.. it's an amazing idea and all we focus on is the what if and worse case scenarios.. Our personallitys compliment each other.. I'm a risk taker.. she's conservative.. I am optimistic.. and her..while amazing.. has a bad habit of seeing the bad perspective.. but then we have so much in common.. best friends for 3 years, and everyday we find something new to talk about.. heck.. the only difference between us being in the relationship that we are, and actually going out, is the physical intimacy.. But heck, we foreplay all the time.. kinky late night conversations discussing "what if one of us was at the others house".. long hugs.. and a kiss on the cheek time to time.. she'll come up and wrap her arms around my waist and me to her.. she's afraid.. and i cant blame her.. but i think that if anything.. I should take some initiative and just see where things are going..

And I'd liek to say I appreciate all of the productive feedback that I can actually build on... It really means alot to me.. In a way, besides her.. everything just stays inside.. lol. i know thats not good for anyone.. but its kind of the way it is.. never been much on sharing my emotions with others.. thanks again.. suggestions still appreciated..