I've been back in town for a while, temporarily out of school... And when I came back, I was bouncing back and forth with my ex (who, despite some complicated things, I stil love intensely) for a little bit. It's become really unhealthy. Over the weekend, I had a lot of time to think to myself, especially while stoned (which is a surefire cocktail for depression). Anyways, while stoned, I came to the conclusion that I needed to get away from her if I ever wanted to heal. So, last night, I went over to her house and told her that I needed to get away from her. She started crying so I staid with her for a while, trying to make her ok with it, but she pleaded and cried for me to stay. Eventually I left, and she tried to kiss me one last time (which is what I really want--though probably not what i need). As soon as I was out of the driveway, I felt like absolute shit. I haven't felt ok since--I hate that I did this. I immediately smack of powerful regret. What the fuck should I do?

http://img473.imageshack.us/img473/2216/mustardmanbigug1.jpg

smoke a bowl.

Thank you for the wonderful and insightful help...

Stick with it. If you decided you needed to get away from her, that's probably exactly what you need, although it won't feel like it for the next few months. It's hard not to go back initially, but it'll get easier and easier with time, and eventually you'll be able to meet somebody new who will make you happy. Good luck, it's really hard at the beginning... but you'll be a MUCH happier person by the end of it.

Shit, usually I would say the same, just smoke a bowl, but if that's not working you might wanna find something else.

The fact that you feel like shit might be saying something, but it's probably just a normal response. No matter what you might think is best, under those circumstances you're always gonna feel like shit.

It's really up to you though. You need to figure out if she's really what you want or if she's bad for you.

We probably need more info i.e. How is it unhealthy? And another thing, how old are you anyways? It could have a lot do do with age.

quote:Originally posted by star-lit:

Stick with it. If you decided you needed to get away from her, that's probably exactly what you need, although it won't feel like it for the next few months. It's hard not to go back initially, but it'll get easier and easier with time, and eventually you'll be able to meet somebody new who will make you happy. Good luck, it's really hard at the beginning... but you'll be a MUCH happier person by the end of it.

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quote:Originally posted by ScaryDangerous:

smoke a bowl.

=

I dunno man, it sounds like one of those seemingly-rational but totally irrational things that you do, because of what you or somebody 'needs' rather than what you or they want.

Like, sometimes you don't know what you need. It's better to go with your instinct, and just want, in that case.

It seems like you've just made a dick move. I've made a lot in my time. I think you just gotta trust yourself man, never blame yourself, trust.

quote:Originally posted by genericwittyusername:

I've been back in town for a while, temporarily out of school... And when I came back, I was bouncing back and forth with my ex (who, despite some complicated things, I stil love intensely) for a little bit. It's become really unhealthy. Over the weekend, I had a lot of time to think to myself, especially while stoned (which is a surefire cocktail for depression). Anyways, while stoned, I came to the conclusion that I needed to get away from her if I ever wanted to heal. So, last night, I went over to her house and told her that I needed to get away from her. She started crying so I staid with her for a while, trying to make her ok with it, but she pleaded and cried for me to stay. Eventually I left, and she tried to kiss me one last time (which is what I really want--though probably not what i need). As soon as I was out of the driveway, I felt like absolute shit. I haven't felt ok since--I hate that I did this. I immediately smack of powerful regret. What the fuck should I do?

Hey you've become the embodiment of my ex in male form. The only difference is that I would be fine with punching you. May I?

I'm 18... almost 19 (yay i'll be able to buy cigs in jersey!). And no, you can't fucking punch me... this is the interweb. Besides, I'm a masochist anyways.

Anyways: It's unhealthy because I can't shake the feeling (or illusion, whatever you want to call it) of still loving her (we never really broke it off, I went to college while we still loved each other but didn't think a long-distance relationship would help). I've tried to move on a thousand times, and it just doesn't work. I can't see anyone else I'd rather be with. She doesn't feel as strongly, obviously. I don't like being in the position, I'm so sick of it. She's fickle and over-emotional. I can't stop clinging to the hope that she'd change her mind, that things could be like they were (which they can't--she ended up fucking my best friend). Long story short, I'm extremely emotionally vulnerable and she's tearing me up. But not seeing her is worse (at the time being anyways).

Alright, being 18 is supposed to be fun man.

Look you can feel like shit about it, that's totally understandable. Just don't let it interupt other parts of your life.

And if you love her, there's no reason to stop. People say that loves never acctually goes away. You just gotta learn to live with it.

And like you said, she's got her own problems. (unless I misundertood). Maybe you guys being apart for a while can help. You need to have lives oputside of your love/infatuation with each other.



And don't feel bad about her fucking a best friend. I once had a girl I cared about deeply fuck my brother.

It happens.

Just start a routine man that keeps you busy.

Also, go out more, make sure you look good. No matter how shitty I'm feeling, getting checked out by hot girls makes me feel better.