So it seems that I'm always at one extreme or another, when it comes to girlfriends.

I'm either a paranoid, obsessive wreck or I'm a lackadaisical cunt... have I just not found the right girl or am I screwed for life?

My girlfriend sent me a message saying she was going to my mate's house to drop in his jacket (because I asked her to) and she would be out at my house later. Fine... so an hour and a half later I'm plagued with the thoughts that she's still at my mates house. I want to trust her, but dont seem to be able to... and what am I supposed to do? Constantly check up on her, so she ends up finishing with me because I'm an overprotective twat who doesn't trust her, or just worry until my hair turns grey and my lungs shrivel up and die from constantly smoking?

Ive been like this with other girls in the past too, and the majority of those relationships didnt last too long. I dont want my fucked up head to destroy this one.

Then theres the other side of the coin, my lack of effort... well, lack of anything. With a few serious girlfriends, I just didnt care. She didnt ring me in a week... pfft, so. I promise to get her cigarettes while I'm at the shop and go to the pub instead and arrive back 3 days later without the cigarettes. I dont wanna be this guy again, but for some reason when I was like this my relationships lasted a lot longer.

Obviously a comfortable medium is the prefered option; but what would you choose, the obsessive freak or useless cunt?

Useless cunt. Obsessive freak is just scary, for everyone involved. And don't worry, I have a pre-disposition to becoming one too, seemingly for no reason.

I'm more useless than you though. As a useless cunt, I don't get girlfriends, let alone stay with them.

Obsessive freak I ruin the relationship. Completely in most cases, even the friendship (I'm big on having a friendship too).

I'd rather have a guy who didn't care enough than a guy who cared too much. That way at least you can pretty much live your life like you would if you were single, and enjoy the time you spend with the guy.

I'm an obsessive freak. I try to keep a tight rein on paranoid thoughts and turbulent emotions, but it's hard. Worked so far, though...

Edit: But yeah, I know exactly how you feel. I'm tormented by my obsessiveness. Plagued, like you said. Perfect way to describe it. Any little thing and I am immediately assailed by paranoia: she likes him more, she's attracted to him, etc. Or depression: she doesn't really like me any more, she never did, etc. I was lackadaisical my entire life before, but she means so much to me...

Things that have helped me:

-Remember how much you care for her, when you're feeling lackadaisical. Think about her, then consider losing her through useless cuntism.

-Remember that you have to trust her, when you're feeling obsessive. That cheesy little saying: "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours." Something like that. Whatever it is, I think it's got some truth in it. If she's not trustworthy it wouldn't have lasted anyway.



[This message has been edited by Twisted_Ferret (edited 02-12-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

That cheesy little saying: "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours."

Really bad advice. Do that and 9 times outta ten they run to the police. Trust me on this.

This cuntism on a smaller scale always worked for me. The ol' treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen is a classic.