It is all based on this one big promise of "forever" when you only have to look at the DIVORCE rate in the world to see that that is

simply not so.

Why not just be partners instead? If you guys then decide you want to separate, you won't have to go through a messy divorce and it wont suck up all your money.

In France they have this status where two people can be 'recognised' by the judicial system as 'parents' of a child, it simply baffles me why places like England or America (if you guys dont already) dont have this.

Civial partnerships sound soo much better, if there's a child involved, it will be a lot easier on her/him if you guys were just separated and not divorced - as children from broken families always tend to seem like a separate breed to me.

Marriage these days seems to be more about the status of being able to tell someone you have a spouse than the actual "love" of it.



Remember: but you can love eachother and have a kid without needing to be married!!

Thoughts?

Six of one, half dozen of the other, as they say.

You actually think that non-married couples separate more easily? Hardly. You still have the distribution of assets and child care to be resolved...Married or not.

"Tell me am I right to think

That there could be nothing better

Than making you my bride

And slowly growing old together?"

Meh, I've never really understood it, but I'm sure there's something wonderful about being legally and spiritually bound to the love of your life for the remainder of your life.

-F☺rd

It's a custom deeply engrained in society all over the world. It may be weaker than it used to be, but that won't stop people trying.

Just because people take marriage more lightly than they did, doesn't mean it's not still a great concept and institution. It's my belief that if you make absolutely sure you're marrying someone you should marry, that concept of 'together forever' has every chance of being realised.

quote:Originally posted by The Poet Chemist:



Marriage these days seems to be more about the status of being able to tell someone you have a spouse than the actual "love" of it.



That's because you're a jaded, bitter bastard, who I assume has just been rejected and shot down horribly. Next week you'll probably be posting the thread "Why are all girls bitchy whores that only like assholes?"



Yay for you if you dont like marriage.

I do like the idea of marriage. I like it because I want my relationship to be declared to the world, I want to openly belong to him, I want us to be a team and a stronger one than merely a 'couple'.



I'd also like to feel that this relationship is going anywhere.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

That's because you're a jaded, bitter bastard, who I assume has just been rejected and shot down horribly. Next week you'll probably be posting the thread "Why are all girls bitchy whores that only like assholes?"



Yay for you if you dont like marriage.

I do like the idea of marriage. I like it because I want my relationship to be declared to the world, I want to openly belong to him, I want us to be a team and a stronger one than merely a 'couple'.



I'd also like to feel that this relationship is going anywhere.

One day you'll just wake up realising you don't even remotely like the guy anymore. What's the point other than pretending it's so magnificient

marraige aint shit.



but if it makes the girl i love happy then i believe in it.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

That's because you're a jaded, bitter bastard, who I assume has just been rejected and shot down horribly.

Actually no, im in the most loving and affectionate relationship of my life and ive never been "horribly shot down" but sure, ive been turned down by some girls.

quote: I do like the idea of marriage. I like it because I want my relationship to be declared to the world, I want to openly belong to him

How is your relationship any different before you get married to how it is afterwards? (Aside from things like the legality of it of course). Seriously, it's just a bit of paper and the pressure of being put under a promise that can so easiler be broken. Ever heard of a little something called drunken nights of infidelity?

Marriage is a lot to do with status and the feeling of security it brings some people, which is very needy and INsecure i might add.

How can you 'belong' to him? Surely that implies a sense of ownership that he will have of you and therefore you are his 'posession' that he may do what he please with and is able to control. Maybe you mean you will belong to eachother? In which case that makes no sense as it just cancels itself out....

quote: I want us to be a team and a stronger one than merely a 'couple'.

You cannot glibly dismiss other couples just because they are not married. Hell, some couples i know are actually STRONGER than couples i know who are married.

quote: I'd also like to feel that this relationship is going anywhere.

Could you please define what do you mean by that?

Im guessing that your mean something like your two bodies/souls/auras will become more closely entiwned and as time goes on you will start to feel as more like 'one' than 'two' people? (Maybe im way off the mark, i dunno) But that could just as easily happen if you weren't under the tyranny of the word "marriage", dont you agree?

Again, plenty couples that i know are VERY spiritually, amicably and sensually in touch with eachother. Marriage does not guarantee that your relationship will "go anywhere", only you can decide that. Therefore it is not the fact that you are married as opposed to not married that will have anything to do with that.

quote:Originally posted by The Infamous Mobb:

marraige aint shit.



but if it makes the girl i love happy then i believe in it.

That's pretty weak.

So you'd only want to get married because your girl would want to and not necessarily because YOU wanted to?

quote:Originally posted by The Infamous Mobb:

But if it makes the girl i love happy then i believe in it.

Now that I do not agree with...

And it really gets me down how modern western society (or maybe all societies) views marriage like this. The romantic sham to getting into a girl's pants...

I actually agree with the OP on some areas, a relationship can be incredibly strong, and joined even without the piece of the paper, and the big ceremony. In the end, what makes a relationship work is the communication between a couple, and how they work together, and reconcile their differences and problems. There is nothing about marriage that makes this more likely, aside from the emmotional "booster" of having agreed to spend your lives together.

Now that I do think is a worthy belief. To truely love someone so much that you agree to spend your life with them, and that you really are a team. How marriage has evolved in society is glaringly obvious. I talked to my mother about this, and she said something along the lines of "if you are really in such a profound relationship, I don't see why you wouldn't get married, otherwise you're just together, looking over your shoulder for someone better to come along". I never agreed with her on this, I think it depends on the individuals, but with some people I guess it can be true.

Marriage provides that fixed emphasis on the future that some people just love, and really no matter how much of a cynical bastard I can be, I think it can be a wonderful thing. I do think marriage is still "expected" for couples though, for legal, religious and cultural reasons, and even for the sheer "why not" factor. I doubt i'd get married until I was older, and I truely felt an undestroyable spiritual link with a woman, to the extent i'd just put my faith in things, and fucking go for it!!

And no way would I be buying a bullshit, tacky ring

That's what I don't like about marriage, the commercialisation of it, and what it seems to mean to our culture...an excuse for the girls to look pretty, and feel wanted, and everyone to get pissed and pretend everything is going to be hunky dorey. Fuck that, I would want to feel so secure, and content that none of that would need to be neccessary, and whilst it might happen, it would definatly not be in any way the emphasis of the marriage.

I'm not sure where I stand really, but I believe in love, and communication, and in the end, that's far more important than marriage, being the very things that cause it in the first place, and sustain it. Maybe people forget that sometimes...

quote:Originally posted by Mellow_Fellow:

"I don't see why you wouldn't get married, otherwise you're just together, looking over your shoulder for someone better to come along".

That struck me, but i disagree with it. If you're truly content with the person you're with then there's no need to be constantly looking for someone better.

Although I do think that is a good point because some people who are in relationships ARE actually doing this and if they were married then it would be a lot harder for them to just dump their girl at the drop of a hat and go chasing after some better looking, more desirable woman.



I doubt i'd get married until I was older, and I truely felt an undestroyable spiritual link with a woman, to the extent i'd just put my faith in things, and fucking go for it!![/QUOTE]

Yesssssss, but dont you think that thousands of people thought that before they got married and then later down the line they started having second thoughts and questioning whether they do infact have such an "undestroyable link"?

To destroy that link needs merely the word 'divorce' in a sentence.

There was something I've wanted to ask people who are/were married: has there been more happiness or more pain in your relationship?

marriage only works for the kind of people that have no other option. It worked in the old days because divorce wasnt an option. It works for butt uglies because they have no other option. It works for religious fanatics because god says so. It works for southerners because the next closest girl is 30 miles away and is 75.

Dont tell me you know some good looking couple with plenty of money. Sure they are happy now but give it a few years and theyll be divorced.

I've seen a handful of marriages that are amazingly happy. That small handful is enough to dispell any doubts on my part.

Separation, divorce. They're different words for the same thing. It'd be messy in both cases.

Just because it's 'marriage', doesn't make it any more serious.

I had a friend who lived with a lady for 8 years they never argued,they went everywhere together and truely looked and acted happy. They decided to make it official and get married,they divorsed 4 months later. I asked him what happened and he couldn't explain it he said nothing was the same after the ceromony. He said that when they were living together common law that it was like the stayed together because they wanted to , because they loved each other. After they were married he said it was like a weight had been placed on the relationship

Think of this from an economic stand point. I wouldn't get married until I got out of college and had a decent job. When your not making any cash you get government benefits (food stamps, financial aid) and don't have to pay much taxes. Later on, when your making some money, you dont get government benefits, and you have to pay taxes. Then theres no incentive to stay single and you get the joint tax filing benefits as well as cheaper home loans and such.

quote:Originally posted by 2020:

After they were married he said it was like a weight had been placed on the relationship

'xactly

quote:Originally posted by The Poet Chemist:

It is all based on this one big promise of "forever" when you only have to look at the DIVORCE rate in the world to see that that is

simply not so.

Why not just be partners instead? If you guys then decide you want to separate, you won't have to go through a messy divorce and it wont suck up all your money.

In France they have this status where two people can be 'recognised' by the judicial system as 'parents' of a child, it simply baffles me why places like England or America (if you guys dont already) dont have this.

Civial partnerships sound soo much better, if there's a child involved, it will be a lot easier on her/him if you guys were just separated and not divorced - as children from broken families always tend to seem like a separate breed to me.

Marriage these days seems to be more about the status of being able to tell someone you have a spouse than the actual "love" of it.



Remember: but you can love eachother and have a kid without needing to be married!!

Thoughts?

Remember that with the millions of idiots marrying into doomed relationships are not the entirety of the populace. There ARE couples that stay together their whole lives - love does exist...it's just not what a lot of young folks think it is. It's nothing magical, nothing special - it's simply a commitment to making a relationship work...even if it does get really fucking strange and shitty at times.

Modern man is a mat, a piece of crap, and a shell of humanity with no spine and no sense of real responsibility. These are the people that are unable to hold relationships together; they can hardly hold themselves together.

Some are able to find the benefits of dedication, humility, and honesty and work towards maintaining their own integrity in all aspects of life. These are the people that can make a relationship last a life-time; their values are solid, secure, verified, and practical - as are their relationships.

There is nothing wrong with marriage; it is the mass blinding to reality that is the problem.

quote:Originally posted by Bizzy:

marriage only works for the kind of people that have no other option. It worked in the old days because divorce wasnt an option. It works for butt uglies because they have no other option. It works for religious fanatics because god says so. It works for southerners because the next closest girl is 30 miles away and is 75.

Dont tell me you know some good looking couple with plenty of money. Sure they are happy now but give it a few years and theyll be divorced.

...you have a skewed view of marriage.

If marriage is done for ANY reason other than it feeling like the right thing to do, it's going to fail. Marriage for money, status, security, ect; they all end up in failure because the partners aren't going into it because it feels right, they're going into it because they're afraid of the sense of failure that they've associated with being 'unmarried' - whether it's the inability to inherit or various other financial issues, the lack of the title and various other status issues, or the lack of the legal bonding and other security issues.

Utilize your brain; it puts a lot of shit into perspective.

I take it the OP is < 19 & expects to live hard & be dead by 35? While he's still good lookin'? Thus, he'll not go long without the willing females.

Sounds like a good plan...with a long tradition...

"Hope I die before I get old..."

Most people don't understand the whole concept of marriage / they go too fast.

It's, to my belief, a complete dedication to your partener. And that takes quite a lot of maturity, It usually involves on how to cope with a life toghether and play like you're just dating her for ever, even though you get kids, mortague and all other couple-assorted shit.

And, to my belief, my correct age of marriage is NEVER.

quote:Originally posted by Ronin13:



And, to my belief, my correct age of marriage is NEVER.

Agreed. I see it marriage comparable to a slow cancer caused by cigars. At first, you don't know what you got, but sure enjoying the good flavor, but after awhile it will rob you of your health and money. If one is going to get married, might as well shoot yourself now. It's cheaper and quicker.

quote:Originally posted by Omikcron:

Agreed. I see it marriage comparable to a slow cancer caused by cigars. At first, you don't know what you got, but sure enjoying the good flavor, but after awhile it will rob you of your health and money. If one is going to get married, might as well shoot yourself now. It's cheaper and quicker.

Yes, some might say "that's because you haven't had a relationship". Heh, fuck you, I've had them enough to realize there is no way I'm going to tolerate that kind of life for the next 50 years.

quote:Originally posted by Ronin13:

Yes, some might say "that's because you haven't had a relationship". Heh, fuck you, I've had them enough to realize there is no way I'm going to tolerate that kind of life for the next 50 years.

Your week long flings in middle school don't count, nor do the times you married a stripper in Vegas because she gave you the most sensational blowjob you've ever had while drunk.

quote:Originally posted by The Poet Chemist:

It is all based on this one big promise of "forever" when you only have to look at the DIVORCE rate in the world to see that that is

simply not so.

the divorce rate is so bad because people these days have no idea what a good relationship is or how to have one. stupid kids think they are 'in love' just because they are completely infatuated with their sex partner, and rush into marriage with someone they relatively hardly know. society is getting more and more fucked up.

more and more kids being raised by tv. fuck tv.

quote:Originally posted by Byss:

Your week long flings in middle school don't count, nor do the times you married a stripper in Vegas because she gave you the most sensational blowjob you've ever had while drunk.

Yet you can still suck my cock, since I am not in middle school you asshole. I am currently at university and hve 21 years, and since 18 I've had quite enough relationships to know what the fuck I am talking about.

quote:Originally posted by systemshock:

the divorce rate is so bad because people these days have no idea what a good relationship is or how to have one. stupid kids think they are 'in love' just because they are completely infatuated with their sex partner, and rush into marriage with someone they relatively hardly know. society is getting more and more fucked up.

more and more kids being raised by tv. fuck tv.

What is the point of risking your money

Our only real pourpose in life is to reproduce, just like any other animal. In our society it is looked down upon to have a child out of wedlock. So, marriage equals reproduction, most of the time. That's the only real logical reason I can think of.

Although, as we should all know, love doesn't make sense. Why I can't be bothered to get off my ass and find the remote control, but I'd be willing to travel across the country to be with a girl I met isn't logical, is it? Why for years I thought marriage was a stupid idea, but after I finally met a girl who I really think is the one, I can actually picture myself growing old with her? How my dad and his friends were all told by older men not to get married, but they did. And even after I heard that, I still want to be with this girl the rest of my life. Love just makes us do stupid things.

Personally, I think too many people get married for the wrong reasons. Either they had a kid, it's for some sort of monetary gain, or for some other reason besides that they truely deeply love each other. If this didn't happen, there would probably be a lot fewer divorces. Although, you have to take crazy people like my mother into account...

quote:Originally posted by The Poet Chemist:

HOW can people believe in marriage??

Thoughts?

because marriage is believable

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

I've seen a handful of marriages that are amazingly happy. That small handful is enough to dispell any doubts on my part.

I still wouldn't recommend for people to get married on the premise of 'maybe, just maybe you won't hate eachother down the road'. It's a pricey lottery ticket on several levels

quote:Originally posted by Pilsu:

I still wouldn't recommend for people to get married on the premise of 'maybe, just maybe you won't hate eachother down the road'. It's a pricey lottery ticket on several levels

The happy marriages that I've seen are reason to believe that marriage can work out wonderfully for some relationships. It isn't a reason to get married.

quote:Originally posted by Ronin13:

Yet you can still suck my cock, since I am not in middle school you asshole. I am currently at university and hve 21 years, and since 18 I've had quite enough relationships to know what the fuck I am talking about.

You may not know what a happy relationship is, but that doesn't mean one doesn't exist.