I've been getting a lot of criticism for being single lately. People (that are supposed to be my friends) saying things like "Wow, you've been single for a long time, what is wrong with you?" or "The only girls you've ever gone out with were a drug-addicted drop-out and a black chick..." (For the record: She's half-black. Not that it really matters, but I guess people will find any faults in order to criticize, even making them up.)

Even my mom uses it against me, saying things like "You know, if you had a better job/more money, you could meet a girl who will actually date you." (Gee, thanks mom!!)

Is society so brainwashed by the notion that we have to have a partner in order to be happy or successful? I don't get it...

For one thing, being single gives me more time to focus on my own goals and fixing things that are wrong in my life. That is important.

Also, maybe I don't want to date just any chick that comes along. The people who are criticizing me so much definitely aren't dating the cream of the crop. I wouldn't even consider dating any of them, even if it meant spending the rest of my life single. They're all either extremely unattractive, very stupid, or have horrible personalities. In some cases it's a combination of the above...

No thanks!

Does anyone else have to deal with this kind of pressure? Maybe I need new friends (and a new mom...?)

In my opinion your friends just like paying you out because they have something that you dont... your pretty much the only one that they can find to pay out on because you dont want what they want... if that makes sense?

To me. its quite good that your not just settling down with any old girl and your waiting to sort out your life before stuffing around.

You friends may just be jellous because you have your head on your shoulders and they dont?

Your mum. well shes another thing. I Guess your mum is just thinking she knows whats best as most mothers do but shes not looking at what you want.

cant really answer it about your mum!

sorry if it doesnt help.

xxMExx

I used to deal with that pressure. I was a nice, naive young 18 year old. I decided to actively pursue a girl. I got a relationship. It destroyed me.

Relationships are pretty shitty. I'm looking forward to the single life. My ideal life will involve a very close female friend. Like a best mate. Where there's no attraction, but we hug and hang out and watch movies under the blanket cuddled together.

And then I want a girl that I have sex with.

So I get the physical, and emotional shit from girls, but am not committed.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

My ideal life will involve a very close female friend. Like a best mate. Where there's no attraction, but we hug and hang out and watch movies under the blanket cuddled together.

Am I weird? I only want to do that with someone I really care for and want to bang...

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

Am I weird? I only want to do that with someone I really care for and want to bang...

I agree. We can be weird together.

*Touches fingertips*.

Arquin, this thread isn't about you.

gadzooks, no, there is nothing wrong with choosing not to pursue a relationship.

quote:Originally posted by stab:

Arquin, this thread isn't about you.

gadzooks, no, there is nothing wrong with choosing not to pursue a relationship.

Good point.

Everyone knows what things or people are necessary to make ourselves happy. The important matter to considerate is that those things are not destructive like drugs or videogames or what do I know? But certainly I don't think the idea of being temporarily or permanently single is wrong.



As long as you don't feel unsatisfied with your life it doesn't matter what everybody else might say.

Better to wait for when you want a relationship than to get into one because it's expected.

That makes sence, but I think people in general need something to fill their void.

I think, when your not looking, and just play it cool, its a lot easier to get girls. cause they talk, Alot. And from there you can say what they want to hear. It works.

This one girl, and I got to talking one time, and she brought up the topic of sex. I was listening, and somehow I got to asking all sorts of questions, and I got her to say a lot of things, I don't think she normaly would have said. And she was all touching her self and shit, It was awesome, and then I walked away. And Loled.

Later she asked me out on a date. I said yes, and we we ended up sexxing. So, I think not seeking a relationship is good, but sometimes, it just happenes, and when it does. Its really good.

Abolutely agree with you!! I've only dated one girl in my 18 years of existence and it just poped out of the blue. I wasn't even trying to hook up with her nor flirting. It just happened and that's it.

I think it's fine. I'm 18, and in a relationship at the moment. It's my first. Previously to that, I've obviously found girls attractive but never really got involved. I didn't actively pursue the one I'm with now, she sort of came to me. So yeh, there's nothing wrong with that. I know it sounds sceptical and negative, but if you go out actively looking for a relationship, you are setting yourself up for a lot of shit. Casual is the way forward.

yes their is somthing definitely wrong wit dat you should be a shame of yourself bastard!!!! I hop you get kidnapped and get beatin wit a bat then get stabbed then cut your dick and balls off and feed dem to da dogs then get shot in da stomach then put gallons of gasoline on you and light you on fire and pray to god that you will burn in hell

Yeah, you fucking weirdo. I mean, Jesus, who actually ignores the demands of society and concentrates on making their own life better?!

[This message has been edited by Twisted_Ferret (edited 02-07-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by gadzooks:



me too. everything but the mom.

Don't worry man, I'm kinda in the same boat as you. Not only do I not have a girl or wife, and not only I am starting to get asked why I don't have one, I also don't ever plan on getting into any kind of relationship.

But yeah, I see where you're coming from and screw the people who keep bugging you. Your personal life, you do what you want.

Might want to take a look atthis (http://www.relationshit.com/) and this (http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_193.htm).

quote:Originally posted by gadzooks:

They're all either extremely unattractive, very stupid, or have horrible personalities. In some cases it's a combination of the above...

Sounds like a match made in heaven shithead

you know, ive really been thinking the same thing...i dont really want to date anyone unless i really like them...unlike everyone doing it for the status of, oh yeah, ive got a g/bf

I respect your motivations,

but,

it WOULD be the end of the human race if everyone followed your example.



That said, go you for not conforming.

My own mother told my grandma off the other day when she asked 'When is Kate going to find a nice guy to settle down with?' While I sat there fuming.

It's not odd.

[This message has been edited by kAtE- (edited 02-08-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by The Rudeboy:

I respect your motivations,

but,

it WOULD be the end of the human race if everyone followed your example.



That said, go you for not conforming.

That may true, but with most examples of humanity, I wonder if that would have been a tragic loss.

You are not the only one. I agree with the idea of becoming a better person before getting someone else involved with your life. I however also have plenty hangups, no respect and trust for the opposite sex due to many negative experiences and observations over my life time.

Everything from gold digging, tricking men into getting them pregnant, telling them they don't have stds when they do, yelling rape, divorcing them and freezing the account so the man would have to sleep in the dead of winter, inability to deal and view reality as is and all sorts of shit.

Not to mention they are as unfaithful as hell, and liars to themselves and others. Women, fell free to argue this with me, but what you say will not counter with what I have seen.

In short, the damage they cause makes them not worth it.