I met this beautiful girl at work about a year and a half ago. I was just the new guy at work and didn't really have any intentions to have a relationship, but there was this girl who seemed to have an interest in me. I didn't know that she liked me, but word soon got around at work that she was interested in me. I didn't know what to do because this girl wasn't anything like other girls that I've dated. And she was so beautiful. I tried playing it cool and just going about my life, but then she started approaching me and we began talking. We took our breaks together and hung out a lot at after work, but just as friends. I was taking my time getting to know her because I've been in a lot of bad relationships. I started to grow fond of her. One day I took her to lunch and was building up the courage to ask her out because she told everyone at work that she was interested in me. Then right before I was about to ask her, she told me that she was falling in love with our manager who was a 23-year old loser who lives with his mom and has no car of his own and has drug and emotional problems. I felt so bad because I really started to care for her and she pushed me away for that loser. I took her home and felt like shit all week. A few months passed and they eventually broke up because they had different views and he was always criticizing her about the way she acts. Somehow she got my phone number from somebody at work and began texting me like crazy telling me that she loved me. I didn't know what to do because she really hurt me and I cared for her. We started talking again and hanging out a lot. We became really close and she told me that she loved me every night. I did everything for her. I bought her a new phone, an iPod video, and a laptop. I brought her lunch to work when she asked. I really did love her. I loved her more than anything. But then I found out that while we were going out, her 23-year old ex-loser boyfriend was texting her all the time trying to make her feel bad for breaking up with him. The worst part about it is that he was always talking bad about her at work and I had to stand up for her. Then one day she told me that we're just friends and that she was in love with him and started dating him again to this very day. I haven't spoken to her in about a month, but she continues to text me now and then. I'm trying to move on but its so hard because I love her so much. I don't want to anymore. I think about her all the time and it makes me feel like shit knowing that I was pushed away for that loser. I don't know what to do anymore and I don't think I can ever get close to another girl because she tore my heart in two even though I did everything for her and treated her like a goddess. What should I do?

You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and do your best to forget about her.

She made her choice...and the manner in which she did shows a lot about her character. Consider yourself fortunate that she got away.

That's the way that you need to begin to think.

YOU deserve better, don't you?

you are a dumbass if you keep talking to her, so keep doing like you're doing and don't respond to her texts, if you get a chance to fuck her then do so, but don't be trying to fall in love with a girl like that, she just used you

move on, fuck that bitch. on a sidenote, i recommend smoking a shit ton of bud.

But that's the problem. I'm trying so hard to move on, but I just can't. I don't know why either. Everyone keeps telling me that I deserve better, but I really do love the girl. The few months that I spent with her were the best moments of my life. I don't know what I did wrong. I gave her the attention that she desired and it certainly wasn't the sex.

I don't talk to her. I haven't spoken to her in a month, but she always calls me and texts me. I don't know what the hell she wants from me.

quote:Originally posted by MyNameDoesntMatter:

...Everyone keeps telling me that I deserve better...

Do you believe you deserve better?

I don't know what better is. This girl is nothing like any girl I have ever met. She was a one-of-a-kind.

quote:Originally posted by MyNameDoesntMatter:

I don't know what better is. This girl is nothing like any girl I have ever met. She was a one-of-a-kind.



Hopefully you're right about that. We wouldn't want every woman to treat men that way.

It sounds to me like you've idealized her.

Yeah, I guess I have.

So, get your arse out there and find out what "better" is.

You're not in love...

You're a infatuated push-over.

I don't know. She made me feel good about myself. She used to tell me all the time that I wasn't like other guys and that I actually respected her. She loved me for that. She used to pressure me into having sex with her on our 1st few dates, but I told her that we should wait until I got to know her better and she loved me even more for that, like she was testing me or something.

Maybe there is a reason they did not respect her. Look at what she did. Do you respect her still?

quote:Originally posted by Tokolosh:

You're not in love...

You're a infatuated push-over.

Do NOT make remarks of what you know nothing about. I do LOVE this girl. I did things for her that no other guy would do for her. I took care of her when she was sick, I gave her massages all the time that she loved, I did all that shit. I didn't expect anything from her because I love her and loved seeing her happy. I put her needs before mine.



[This message has been edited by MyNameDoesntMatter (edited 02-06-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Maybe there is a reason they did not respect her. Look at what she did. Do you respect her still?

I don't know. A part of me doesn't anymore. The guy she pushed me away for is a pathetic loser. And he's not even a good-looking guy. He's overweight and he looks very unhealthy because he takes Methadone and anti-depressants all the time. No, I don't anymore.



[This message has been edited by MyNameDoesntMatter (edited 02-06-2007).]

Love is irrational. Love is blind. It's a pity it won't let some people go. There's not much you can do, really, you have to wait and get over it yourself. I don't think much will help you except yourself.

What did you respect about her before?

edit:

I just caught your edit. (boy is totse running slow)



[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 02-06-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

What did you respect about her before?



Her personality. She was so different from the girls that Ive dated in the past. She had her head on straight. She didn't think inwards. She was very mature and she was the sweetest person I had ever met. She was the kind of girl that I could have a real conversation with. But all of that doesn't matter anymore.

quote:Originally posted by MyNameDoesntMatter:

Do NOT make remarks of what you know nothing about. I do LOVE this girl. I did things for her that no other guy would do for her. I took care of her when she was sick, I gave her massages all the time that she loved, I did all that shit. I didn't expect anything from her because I love her and loved seeing her happy. I put her needs before mine.



Then why don't you respect her decision? Obviously she's doing what she wants to. Wouldn't you want that, if you just want her to be happy? People don't have unselfish motives, stop trying to pretend that you do. And go get some fucking self respect. She messed with your emotions, hurt you, and made you look stupid. And you're worried about getting back together with her, and thinking about how unappealing the guy she's currently with is? What the hell? Grow some damn balls and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I highly doubt that you're the first guy she's chewed up and spat out. She sounds like an indecisive bitch, you're better off without her.

quote:Originally posted by MyNameDoesntMatter:

Her personality. She was so different from the girls that Ive dated in the past. She had her head on straight. She didn't think inwards. She was very mature and she was the sweetest person I had ever met. She was the kind of girl that I could have a real conversation with. But all of that doesn't matter anymore.



She was those things, and yet she wasn't.

That's the way people are.

I think it can be good to dissect things. It helps with perspective and it can help lessen emotions.

For me, at least.

quote:Originally posted by ChickenOfDoom:

Then why don't you respect her decision? Obviously she's doing what she wants to. Wouldn't you want that, if you just want her to be happy? People don't have unselfish motives, stop trying to pretend that you do. And go get some fucking self respect. She messed with your emotions, hurt you, and made you look stupid. And you're worried about getting back together with her, and thinking about how unappealing the guy she's currently with is? What the hell? Grow some damn balls and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I guess you're right. I guess I don't give a shit about her. I guess I'm upset because I'm selfish. That would explain why I don't want to see her get ruined by this guy. Yep, you hit the nail right on the head. Pfft. Loving someone is not about respecting their opinion. Loving someone is about doing what is best for them. I don't want to see her ruined by this guy. I'm afraid that if she gets any more involved with this guy, she is going to be miserable and become addicted to drugs.

quote:Originally posted by MyNameDoesntMatter:

Loving someone is not about respecting their opinion. Loving someone is about doing what is best for them. I don't want to see her ruined by this guy. I'm afraid that if she gets any more involved with this guy, she is going to be miserable and become addicted to drugs.

Loving someone is also about backing off and letting them fall...letting them learn to pick their self up too.

It can make them strong...and you...because you're no longer the "knight in shining armor" come to save the day...and they are no longer the "damsel in distress".

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Loving someone is also about backing off and letting them fall...letting them learn to pick their self up too.

It can make them strong...and you...because you're no longer the "knight in shining armor" come to save the day...and they are no longer the "damsel in distress".

I guess you're right. She has made her decision and she is going to have to face the consequences. She is going to get hurt. It's inevitable, but she is going to have to live with it and realize that I'm not going to be there for her anymore.

I dont wanna sound like a jerk or anything, but that just shows that the bitch doesnt deserve you. I mean you acted nice towards her. You showed that you care for her. But she just decided that she wants that loser. AND believe me, she did or atleast should have known (maybe she didnt, but that would mean she was more than an idiot) that you really like and either play it off as friends all the time instead of "luring" you. You might have even gotten used, women tend to do that to show their dominance. Although I think I know what you mean. I really love a certain girl, she shows intrest in me, but I always hear this voice in my head: "she just wants to use you!", since she is more beautifull than I could hope to achieve. Althought there are many more explanations.

quote:Originally posted by MyNameDoesntMatter:

I did everything for her. I bought her a new phone, an iPod video, and a laptop. I brought her lunch to work when she asked.

Uhm, well, this case is pretty far from being an exception ... don't ever do that again.

You learn how use paragraphs.

Seriously, i don't want to read that because it is all just one block of text. Paragraphs makes reading easier on the eyes while reading.

quote:Originally posted by MyNameDoesntMatter:

I guess you're right. I guess I don't give a shit about her. I guess I'm upset because I'm selfish. That would explain why I don't want to see her get ruined by this guy. Yep, you hit the nail right on the head. Pfft. Loving someone is not about respecting their opinion. Loving someone is about doing what is best for them. I don't want to see her ruined by this guy. I'm afraid that if she gets any more involved with this guy, she is going to be miserable and become addicted to drugs.



Doesn't matter. What's really happening is that you're wishing that some shit happens to her so that she needs you again. Move on, if something happens to her it's no longer your business, and you shouldn't be wasting your time on her anymore. There are far better people out there, you're just being blindsided by your stupidity.

quote:Originally posted by MyNameDoesntMatter:

Do NOT make remarks of what you know nothing about. I do LOVE this girl. I did things for her that no other guy would do for her. I took care of her when she was sick, I gave her massages all the time that she loved, I did all that shit. I didn't expect anything from her because I love her and loved seeing her happy. I put her needs before mine.



Shut up. :/

quote:Originally posted by Tokolosh:

You're not in love...

You're a infatuated push-over.

That's right! You just feel the need to be with someone who cares about. Trust me something similar happened to me. I thought I really loved her but it wasn't true. I realized the kind of woman she is and now I can look at her and even talk to her and not feel that aching desire to kiss her and make her mine.

Now she is just one of the bunch...

Add paragraphs so I can read it.

Everything in moderation, even in love. You gave everything to this woman, maybe that's why your relationship failed. There was nothing for her to lust for.

In the meantime, learn from your mistakes, become bigger, badder, meaner.

Don't be a wimp, be a man. The best revenge is living well.

But don't fucking dare give this bitch another chance.

Well guys, I just wanted to say thank you for your advice and wanted to give a little update on how everything is going. Since I created this topic, I haven't spoken to her once but she continues to text me and asks me how I'm doing and wants to talk. The other day at work, she left a napkin in my register saying that she misses me and misses having fun with me. I read it then threw it away. I saw her looking at me when I was reading it and I could tell that she was upset when I threw it away. It's funny. I've tried so hard to win her love again, but now that I have it again I don't want it. It feels good too. Funny little world ain't it? Anyways, thanks guys. I thought I would never get over her. I still love her as she was the 1st girl that I truly cared about, but I've moved on.

She wants a pet. A fallback.

Take it from someone who KNOWS:

She used you.

Stay away from her. She'll feel the pain of not being able to take advantage of you anymore.

I once had a similar problem to yours OP. This bitch hurt you immensely I take it, yet she is simply using you as an emotional backup or some shit. If you think she's still into you, call her up on the phone, be all polite, make some conversation and what not, then out of nowhere tell her to fuck off, go to hell, and never talk to you again, because she is a worthless whore who will take losers at whim and will eventually end up a victim of spousal abuse in a fucking trailer. Then just carry on.

Read till "Then right before I was about to ask her, she told me that she was falling in love with our manager who was a 23-year old loser who lives..."

Man you are the fuckin loser! And I hate you.

quote:Originally posted by The Poet Chemist:

learn how use paragraphs.

quote:Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

Take it from someone who KNOWS:

She used you.

Stay away from her. She'll feel the pain of not being able to take advantage of you anymore.

^ditto.

You spent your money on her, took care of you, and she used you as an emotional tampon. Then she threw you out once you were full of blood. Shes obviously not that special now is she?

quote:Originally posted by Mahatma Gandhi:

Read till "Then right before I was about to ask her, she told me that she was falling in love with our manager who was a 23-year old loser who lives..."

Man you are the fuckin loser! And I hate you.

You're a dumbass. I guess you took offense at what I said because you're a 23-year old loser who still lives with his mom.