I am 20 years old, still a virgin, and am fucking sick of it. I do lots of drugs (especially painkillers-they kill the pain of life, for a while) to help me not think about women and how i dont get ANY PUSSY. The last girlfriend i had was in the 6TH GRADE. I have never even made out with a girl EVER.

Now i know im not ugly (i catch girls looking at me and smiling quite a bit) but i am shy when it comes to the opposite sex b/c im soooo inexperienced.

Now im getting ready to go into the army (got my GED and passed the asvab test) and have talked with my recruiter about how i want to go to Iraq (where the action is). Im ready to go over there and blow some arab heads apart and let loose all of the anger and frustration i have pent up inside of me from all of these years of rejection. I DONT FEAR DEATH I WELCOME IT...Heaven has to be better than this hell.

My parents offered to get me one of those high end prostitutes (u know from an escort service). How would i go about finding an escort service in my area?

How much is it usually for the most beautiful ones?

Anyone have any exp. with this sort of thing?

Parents are willing to pay up to a grand.

You can buy a lot of strongbow with a grand! Go to Northern England, you'll get all the girls you'll ever be able to handle.

quote:Originally posted by Drug-Demon:

I am 20 years old, still a virgin, and am fucking sick of it. I do lots of drugs (especially painkillers-they kill the pain of life, for a while) to help me not think about women and how i dont get ANY PUSSY. The last girlfriend i had was in the 6TH GRADE. I have never even made out with a girl EVER.

Now i know im not ugly (i catch girls looking at me and smiling quite a bit) but i am shy when it comes to the opposite sex b/c im soooo inexperienced.

Now im getting ready to go into the army (got my GED and passed the asvab test) and have talked with my recruiter about how i want to go to Iraq (where the action is). Im ready to go over there and blow some arab heads apart and let loose all of the anger and frustration i have pent up inside of me from all of these years of rejection. I DONT FEAR DEATH I WELCOME IT...Heaven has to be better than this hell.

My parents offered to get me one of those high end prostitutes (u know from an escort service). How would i go about finding an escort service in my area?

How much is it usually for the most beautiful ones?

Anyone have any exp. with this sort of thing?

Parents are willing to pay up to a grand.



Theres a lot I want to say, but I'll hold my tongue on most of them.

But what I will say is important. You're only 20, not even 1/6 of your capable life is up. You've got to let go of the insecurities--you seem brave(not afraid to die) -- or stupid (counting on heaven to be the answer to your problems on earth). Take a step back from life, observe your life through an outside perspective. Just because you've never had sex, haven't had a girlfriend for 6 years, and feel inexperienced-- doesn't mean shit,if you apply yourself, conquer your fears, and actually TRY. Giving it all up to an 'escort' who will bang you for a couple hundred bucks, will only worsen the problem man. That's taking the easy way out, letting money solve your problems.

This one has to come from the inside. Find what it is that makes you shy around women(and we all--let me reinforce this "all" have our insecurities, some way some how). Find your weakness and work on it, force yourself in awkward situations with girls--try for that number you don't think you'll get. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

But, if anything--think about how much losing your virginity means to you. Is it important enough to pay for? Or would you like to eventually find the 'girl' out there, somewhere, who will like you for yourself, and will want to take your virginity --not for your money, but for your heart.

You're willing to die, but not ask a girl out?

WTF, get your priorities straight, you've got your mind on backwards!

quote:Originally posted by truorion:



But, if anything--think about how much losing your virginity means to you. Is it important enough to pay for? Or would you like to eventually find the 'girl' out there, somewhere, who will like you for yourself, and will want to take your virginity --not for your money, but for your heart.

It's still early, but that definitely wins the gayest post of the day award so far.

And also, its disgusting how people hire other people to do everything for them. It's fucking sick. I go out and there and mow my yard. Our neighbors higher mexicans to mow theres. I clean my pool, and wash my car, and clean my house. And everyone else is too good for the little things like that.

A thousand dollars? Thats fucking crazy. It would take her, what....3, maybe 4 minutes to suck it up and do you herself? God...people are way too proud nowadays.

^^^

Excellent post, it got me thinking.

I would much rather lose my virginity to someone who loves me than someone whos just in it for the money.

but i always have that voice in the back of my mind that says theres a damn good chance i wont make it back from Iraq so why not get a prostitute and atleast experience sex before i ship out (2-3 months).

If you're good-looking, it would be in your best interest as a young man with a $1000 to burn to go to a strip club.

If you do it right, you can spend a few hundred on alcohol and zero on sex. Strippers love hott guys, they'll fuck you for free. (My boyfriend has to fight them off in the club. Crazy bitches.)

I dunno, the whole prostitute thing seems so much colder. At least their might be some sexual chemistry if you fuck a stripper, ya know? Plus you get see them naked and pick which on you want.

You can fuck me for that much. :P

i respect the fact you want to go into the army, but don't get too stoked bout going over seas to fight, i have friends in iraq and it's not some happy go lucky place. you don't walk around shooting people. real great reason to join.

quote:Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

If you're good-looking, it would be in your best interest as a young man with a $1000 to burn to go to a strip club.

If you do it right, you can spend a few hundred on alcohol and zero on sex. Strippers love hott guys, they'll fuck you for free. (My boyfriend has to fight them off in the club. Crazy bitches.)

I dunno, the whole prostitute thing seems so much colder. At least their might be some sexual chemistry if you fuck a stripper, ya know? Plus you get see them naked and pick which on you want.

thats a good idea except for the fact that in fayetteville all of the strip clubs suck balls (nasty disease ridden sluts).

but if i wanted to drive to little rock or somewhere similar it could probably happen.

Here's an idea, get the fuck off the dope you social fucking invert. Get out and get a woman the old fashion way and get your parents to buy you an Arab for target practice. Fuck 20 years old and never had a woman. Maybe your a fag

quote:Originally posted by 2020:

Here's an idea, get the fuck off the dope you social fucking invert. Get out and get a woman the old fashion way and get your parents to buy you an Arab for target practice. Fuck 20 years old and never had a woman. Maybe your a fag

^^The kind of person that shouldn't be on &t, IMO.

Join the Navy. Military service and more sex than you can shake your dick at. A guy who's not had a girl in 20 years probably wouldn't be too picky so I'm guessing the whole man-ass factor wouldn't bother you too much.

quote:Originally posted by 2020:

Here's an idea, get the fuck off the dope you social fucking invert. Get out and get a woman the old fashion way and get your parents to buy you an Arab for target practice. Fuck 20 years old and never had a woman. Maybe your a fag

Atleast i have the fucking balls to join the military, Im willing to lay down my life for this fucked up country and YOUR BITCH-NIGGERISH ASS. so how about u shut your fuckin mouth pussy...

Shut up, you pathetic fuckin retard...I hope some Arab shoots your balls off.

You can fuck me for that much too, if you swing that way.

LOL VIRGIN

What the fuck? Dude, dude, you're making a mountain out of a molehill. Hell, you're making a planet out of a grain of sand! Sex is not that important. Seriously, life is hell because you're a virgin? Is fucking all you live for? Don't you have more dimensions than one, don't you feel anything but lust?

quote:Originally posted by Drug-Demon:

Atleast i have the fucking balls to join the military, Im willing to lay down my life for this fucked up country and YOUR BITCH-NIGGERISH ASS. so how about u shut your fuckin mouth pussy...

Yes, because I'm sure patriotism has everything to do with why you join...

[/sarcasm]

Or have solace in the fact that once you get that uniform on the barrack's sluts will be flocking.

My boyfriend was once innocent, than he joined the army and became a WHORE.

That was in the nineties..

Asshole!!! I'm white I live in Canada and already done my tour so get your facts straight or I'll get my little sister to make you cry.

quote:Originally posted by Drug-Demon:

Atleast i have the fucking balls to join the military, Im willing to lay down my life for this fucked up country and YOUR BITCH-NIGGERISH ASS. so how about u shut your fuckin mouth pussy...

Yes, cause the Iraq war has EVERYTHING to do with the US's national security. We all know how Saddam was planning on annihilating the USA with those weapons of mass destruction he didn't have.

Your sacrifice means nothing. You might as well pull a Kurt Cobain, it wouldn't make any difference.

I'm guessing if you haven't got the balls to meet a woman then all your other idea's and threats are bullshit also. Make sure you tell the boys in your unit ...if it ever actually happens, tell them your still a virgin they are always very understanding

$1000 dollars and you're considering a hooker?

Fuck man, take the money and LIE.

Get a slab of beer, and a 10 pack of E, two of your best buddies, rent a hotel room near a club district, and go crazy in the clubs. Get fucked up, pay for some girl's drinks, if she digs you, give her an E, get her horny, tell her you have a hotel room, and ditch your mates for a few hours.

Man you're pathetic.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

$1000 dollars and you're considering a hooker?

Fuck man, take the money and LIE.

Get a slab of beer, and a 10 pack of E, two of your best buddies, rent a hotel room near a club district, and go crazy in the clubs. Get fucked up, pay for some girl's drinks, if she digs you, give her an E, get her horny, tell her you have a hotel room, and ditch your mates for a few hours.

Man you're pathetic.

Arquin's formula to get pussy.

Hey, I'm moving to Perth. After I finish school in San Francisco.

[This message has been edited by MrMojoRisin (edited 02-05-2007).]

How did that conversation come about?

The one where your parents offered to buy you an expensive prozzy?

quote:Originally posted by Drug-Demon:

Atleast i have the fucking balls to join the military, Im willing to lay down my life for this fucked up country and YOUR BITCH-NIGGERISH ASS. so how about u shut your fuckin mouth pussy...

Shut the fuck up you sound like a disgrace to the military if anything fucking pussy. You complelty made it out like the only reason you joined was because you have nothing else in life, you would rather be dead, and you just have to get some anger out by maybe getting a chance to kill someone. You fucking scum don't try to act like you're one of the brave, your just one of the dumb looser suicidal thats hoping he gets killed in combat so you can go to heaven and escape your shitty pathetic life. Your a 20 year old fuccking looser get off the drugs jack off or you won't be going over to iraq your dumb ass will just get a discharge and then be even more worthless. You do realize if your killing to KILL out of anger you probably don't get into heaven, last time I checked MURDERERS go to hell. And your intentions clearly are to go over there and "blow some arab heads apart"/

I'm liking this Aprentice Chemist, tell it like it is man.

quote:Originally posted by truorion:

Theres a lot I want to say, but I'll hold my tongue on most of them.

But what I will say is important. You're only 20, not even 1/6 of your capable life is up. .

since when can you have sex untill you're 120?

"since when can you have sex untill you're 120?"

Viagra!!!!!!

quote:Originally posted by Flock:

You can fuck me for that much. :P

Hmmmmm!

quote:Originally posted by truorion:

You're only 20, not even 1/6 of your capable life is up.

So the average life expectancy of a serviceman is 120? WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR.

Not to be an asshole. Your post was good.

quote:Originally posted by Drug-Demon:

Now im getting ready to go into the army (got my GED and passed the asvab test) and have talked with my recruiter about how i want to go to Iraq (where the action is). Im ready to go over there and blow some arab heads apart and let loose all of the anger and frustration i have pent up inside of me from all of these years of rejection. I DONT FEAR DEATH I WELCOME IT...



With a little luck you'll be the first one of your team to step on a land mine. You're pathetic. Forget about getting laid and focus on your REAL issues. It seems like you have plenty of work ahead. Go get a good shrink. A good recruiter shouldn't let you near any kind of weapon. Sadly it seems like recruiters are just as war horny as you are. Yuck...

Dude, for a thousand i could get laid at least *calculates* 30 times... at least, and i'm ugly and shy... but i do get laid. Simply, talk to them, for ANY reason....preferably when they're drunk

quote:Originally posted by Drug-Demon:

thats a good idea except for the fact that in fayetteville all of the strip clubs suck balls (nasty disease ridden sluts).

but if i wanted to drive to little rock or somewhere similar it could probably happen.

fayetteville? in texas???

EDIT: I looked at your profile, you're talking about arizona.... oh well sucks for you.

dude i'm from houston and throw parties all the time, you need to come over and party with me and i PROMISE you will get laid at my party... and you can just TELL your mom you're getting a prostitute and help throw down for acid, E, pot, and beer instead :-D

unless you're talking about a different fayetteville.

[This message has been edited by lakelaxrookie49 (edited 02-05-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by dark-easterbunny:

Dude, for a thousand i could get laid at least *calculates* 30 times... at least, and i'm ugly and shy... but i do get laid. Simply, talk to them, for ANY reason....preferably when they're drunk

This intrigues me. Any advice or anything?

-F☺rd

Cool, get it done.

Hate to say it mate, but im having to agree with 2020 to some degree. You have more issues you need to work out before you can feel good about youreself and going to a warzone ishardly the best place to figure them all out.

As for the sex thing; Fuck it. Im 21 and a virgin, and frankly i dont give a shit. it'll happen when it happens as far as im concerned. I dotn worry bout it, strees bout it or get depressed over the issue anymore, decided its not worth the fucking bother to get soo upset over one tiny aspect of our very short lives on this planet. Personlly, ifi had that grand, id go and spend it on booking plane tickets and travel for a bit, get away from the comfort zone and try and figure out what you really want. Mind you i dont do drugs either so meh, just my perspective here.

What truorion was trying to say, I think, was that only 1/6 of his "capable" life was up. I mean, I can't remember anything up until I was 8 or something, so if he's twenty... *mashes buttons on calculator*... then he'd live until he was 72. And I think that's about the average life expectancy, +/- about 3 years. Soo... yeah...

But seriously, I almost felt sorry for you until I realized you're a bigot and very ignorant. But now I do feel sorry for you because you're ignorant, and everybody knows it's not nice to be mean to retards.

quote:Originally posted by Rocko:

Shut up, you pathetic fuckin retard...I hope some Arab shoots your balls off.

QFT.

quote:Originally posted by Ford Prefect:

This intrigues me. Any advice or anything?

-F☺rd

i'm afraid i can't explain what i do. Wish i could. I just get drunk...and then....i wake up and wonder..was she really that pretty, or did the booze help that much.

I just become this charmin bastard far as i always can remember, just talk to any random chick, get more drunk with her....and....dunno..good times

(i might not be the bes of help at these stoned times

Alright man, I'm dying to know- what was that conversation with your parents like? Did they offer out of the blue? Is it a going away present, or a pity fuck? Was it awkward? Can you provide a partial transcription?

I'm really intrigued.

quote:Originally posted by just a name:

Alright man, I'm dying to know- what was that conversation with your parents like? Did they offer out of the blue? Is it a going away present, or a pity fuck? Was it awkward? Can you provide a partial transcription?

I'm really intrigued.

quote:Originally posted by dark-easterbunny:

i'm afraid i can't explain what i do. Wish i could. I just get drunk...and then....i wake up and wonder..was she really that pretty, or did the booze help that much.

I just become this charmin bastard far as i always can remember, just talk to any random chick, get more drunk with her....and....dunno..good times

(i might not be the bes of help at these stoned times



Naw, I understand. I'm a slut when I'm drunk.

-F☺rd

quote:Originally posted by busyhands:

With a little luck you'll be the first one of your team to step on a land mine. You're pathetic. Forget about getting laid and focus on your REAL issues. It seems like you have plenty of work ahead. Go get a good shrink. A good recruiter shouldn't let you near any kind of weapon. Sadly it seems like recruiters are just as war horny as you are. Yuck...

Umm no recruiters are not war horny they just are required to get at least one recruit a month if not more depending on where they are located. Its a recruiters JOB to find new recruits if they dont meet the standards and requirments then the army finds them a differnt job. I happen to know a recruiter that sucked at his job he was on for a few months didnt get ANY leads for the military and bam wasn't a recruiter no more. Most all the recruiters I know are definatly not war horny as most of the military people I know are not really all happy about being at war or the thought of going over seas.

Don't go to the fucking army. Your life isn't as shit as you think it is. Sex is not that important, and there are much older virgins than you. Stop doing drugs, go out and make an effort to find a girl who is interested in you.

Don't give me that "at least i have the fucking balls to join the military, Im willing to lay down my life for this fucked up country and YOUR BITCH-NIGGERISH ASS" bullshit. You have NO balls. Think you're a big man because you're ready to die because you hate your life? Fuck no. You're a pussy looking for escape. What WOULD be impressive would be if you turned your life around despite how shitty you think it is and actually turned it into something you could enjoy.

Think about it.

quote:Originally posted by Flock:

You can fuck me for that much. :P

*Gets out wallet and starts counting out notes*

Big D, you glistenin that pink yet son?

quote:Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

Hey, I'm moving to Perth. After I finish school in San Francisco.

Is that so? Too bad we're at the opposite ends of the Country to one another...me and arquin and you

The land that seperates us could be known as the golden triangle to which we rule over

quote:Originally posted by Drug-Demon:

BITCH-NIGGERISH ASS.

niggerish?

*sigh* THAT is why you've never gotten laid

But no matter what you think of what they said, remeber this one thing. THERE'S NO SEX IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM, none...Oh there's champagne in the champagne room, but you don't want champagne, you want sex, and there's no sex in the champagne room.

quote:Originally posted by The True Zorak:

But no matter what you think of what they said, remeber this one thing. THERE'S NO SEX IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM, none...Oh there's champagne in the champagne room, but you don't want champagne, you want sex, and there's no sex in the champagne room.

And there's no champagne in the sex room.

"Im ready to go over there and blow some arab heads apart and let loose all of the anger and frustration i have pent up inside of me from all of these years of rejection"

I hope you die.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

$1000 dollars and you're considering a hooker?

Fuck man, take the money and LIE.

Get a slab of beer, and a 10 pack of E, two of your best buddies, rent a hotel room near a club district, and go crazy in the clubs. Get fucked up, pay for some girl's drinks, if she digs you, give her an E, get her horny, tell her you have a hotel room, and ditch your mates for a few hours.

Man you're pathetic.

And you'd have money left over the next day for breakfast at McDonald's.

Man, don't spend a grand on a prostitute, take one of those courses that teach you to be good with women, hosted by pick up artists.

www.fastseduction.com (http://www.fastseduction.com)

Then look up some of them.

Good luck, but seriously, it's not that bad although I got plenty of girls interested in me and kissing me, from age of 17 up it wasn't till I was 19 that I got laid, and in the space of a few months there was another girl who most of my friends who have ridiculous skills with girls are very jealous of the fact I fucked her.

Take one of those courses, you won't feel like a bigger man if you have to pay for sex.

quote:Originally posted by truorion:

Theres a lot I want to say, but I'll hold my tongue on most of them.

But what I will say is important. You're only 20, not even 1/6 of your capable life is up. You've got to let go of the insecurities--you seem brave(not afraid to die) -- or stupid (counting on heaven to be the answer to your problems on earth). Take a step back from life, observe your life through an outside perspective. Just because you've never had sex, haven't had a girlfriend for 6 years, and feel inexperienced-- doesn't mean shit,if you apply yourself, conquer your fears, and actually TRY. Giving it all up to an 'escort' who will bang you for a couple hundred bucks, will only worsen the problem man. That's taking the easy way out, letting money solve your problems.

This one has to come from the inside. Find what it is that makes you shy around women(and we all--let me reinforce this "all" have our insecurities, some way some how). Find your weakness and work on it, force yourself in awkward situations with girls--try for that number you don't think you'll get. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

But, if anything--think about how much losing your virginity means to you. Is it important enough to pay for? Or would you like to eventually find the 'girl' out there, somewhere, who will like you for yourself, and will want to take your virginity --not for your money, but for your heart.

i like this one. if your not bad looking then you should have no problem in that department. if your insecure get out of the house and quit doing drugs and try to meet some people. go to the gym and strike up a conversation with a girl.

u might not believe me on this one but ive seen it work MANY a times. well my bros friend was asking us why is it so difficult to get a girls number? cant you jsut go up to her and ask her but first saying something like "You are so beautiful i had to come over and ask for your number." he said something after that but i forgot lol. well the next night we were at a party and he went up to a hot ass girl and tried it. we were all laughing them he came back with her number. after seeing this we all started doing that.

just force urself into ackward(sc?) situations and shoot for the top. u could go for a fat chick if your that desperate to learn. i would refrain from tapin it though lol.

There are 52 listings for massage parlours in Fayetteville using the http://www.dogpile.com yellow pages.

Surely at least a couple of them are the sort of place you're looking for.

Or even more for certain with the same search engine - seven listings for "escort"

Good luck on making it through recruit training - I have a feeling you'll need it.

quote:Originally posted by hypno:

since when can you have sex untill you're 120?

Eh.. I was never good at math. I meant 1/4th. Meaning he could live well into his 80's, and have multiple chances at finally 'getting laid'.

And to SilentMind - it's only society telling you to feel that way. "Gay"? How about some self respect, or just the realization that getting your nut off with a stripper doesn't mean shit, compared to doing it with someone you care about. Go back in your closet.

Good GOD, you must be fairly hideous/hopeless if even your PARENTS are considering getting you a hooker! Don't worry, if you make it into the Army chicks will be all over the uniform.

all right keep your thousand bucks

theres many desperate women, and obivously your a horney bastard, close your eyes and its just a hole

so we got the

*fattys

*emos

*grannys

1 the fattys will fuck anything but you might feel as if you are in a barnyard brothel, fattys may or may not smell like bacon

*be patient, they will have to stop in the middle of the act for a snickers, fattys gotta stay energized*

2 now the emos, most are hidiusly ugly some are hot, get your ass to a emo concert or some type of emo club and just talk about how much you love their emo bands and youll be fucked i a second (aslong as your not completly ugly)

3 last we got teh grannyz, the're very fragile and may not remember your name in the morning, however they havent had any action since supper of '42 so they'd tap yo azz in a second, *do not secks any grannys with heart conditions, you dont wanna be tried for homicide*

and now you've just gained a grand and lost your virginity



but really, dont go fucking any random slut, just grow some balls and ask out a NON-std infected girl

To the op, i know exactly how you feel. i'm almost 20 and never been laid and i fucking hate myself for it. people can say that its unimportant and not a big deal,but really it is. When most regular people get laid at about 16 and then theres people who are fucking 20 and so socially retarded (like me) they can't achieve something so insignificant as getting laid, what does that say about how insignificant and pathetic that person is? Not that i'm trying to make you feel worse or anything, but yeah. Almost 20, never been laid = i fail as a human being and fucking detest myself for being the useless sack of shit i am. And then to top it all off, i'm posting about it on a fucking website.

Well sex is like fresh air it's only important when your not getting any

ojne solution...walk up to a girl and say

'who likes orange soda'..then when shes confused hit her round the head and put her in a marriage sack and suprise sex her...