You know, marriage, maybe some kids, and a house... A friend of mine just got engaged, and I have another friend talking about getting married and all that (although they are both a couple years older than me), and it got me thinking about it.

Personally, I am opposed to the concept altogether (at least for the time being). Although I may end up changing my mind in the distant future. But I really think that at my age it is a pretty big decision to be making that will (or at least should) affect your whole life. Although, these days, divorce is only a bit of paperwork away, so maybe I'm thinking too old-fashioned in taking marriage so seriously...

Anyway, what are your thoughts?

(I'm 22 by the way)

There is no special age.

It has to do with a mixture of the right person and the right level of maturity. Age does not equal maturity, it never has.

I'd say that you are too young. If you live to your natural old age then you will be going for a while yet. You will eventually get bored of the same old shit every day.

I'm completely against the idea of settling down. I don't think it'll ever happen. At the very least then early twenties is far too early. Maybe forties. I don't know. I'm drunk.

quote:Originally posted by gadzooks:

Although, these days, divorce is only a bit of paperwork away, so maybe I'm thinking too old-fashioned in taking marriage so seriously...

No, I don't think that's old-fashioned at all. I think marriage SHOULD be taken seriously, too many people seem to get engaged/married/have kids on a whim, when in fact in should be a big decision. Of course, mistakes can be made, but the people who get engaged after a few months of dating, have been married 4+ times (i.e. my dad) are completely missing the point of marriage.

The age when you're ready to settle down does, of course, depend on your own personal level of maturity and willingness to do so, but I would consider a good age to be somewhere between mid-20's and mid-30's.

never.

quote:Originally posted by fullcircle:

never.

AMEN!

My life is a ship on the ocean. (both figuratively and literally!) Dating is like pulling into port, and being single is sailing towards something else, hoping it'll be better than when you just left, claiming home is where you set your foot.

Tis a great to be a sailor of life! (and of the sea!);D

Probably younger if you really love them.. but that would entail knowing you do..

quote:Originally posted by DesertRebel:

AMEN!

My life is a ship on the ocean. (both figuratively and literally!) Dating is like pulling into port, and being single is sailing towards something else, hoping it'll be better than when you just left, claiming home is where you set your foot.

Tis a great to be a sailor of life! (and of the sea!);D

*Sings*

There's a port on a western bay

And it serves a hundred ships a day

Lonely sailors pass the time away

And talk about their homes

And there's a girl, in this harbor town

And she works, laying whiskey down

They say "Brandy, fetch another round"

She serves them whiskey and wine

The sailors say "Brandy, you're a fine girl

What a good wife you would be

Yeah your eyes could steal a sailor

From the sea."

Brandy, wears a braided chain

Made of finest silver from the north of Spain

A locket, that bears the name

Of a man that Brandy loved

He came, on a summer's day

Bringing gifts, from far away

But he made it clear, he couldn't stay

No harbor was his home

The sailors said "Brandy, you're a fine girl

What a good wife you would be

But my life, my lover, my lady

Is the sea."

Yeah Brandy used to watch his eyes when he told his sailor's story

She could feel the ocean fall and rise, she saw it's raging glory

But he had always told the truth, Lord he was an honest man

And Brandy does her best to understand

At night, when the bars close down

Brandy walks through a silent town

And loves a man, who's not around

She still can hear him say, she hears him say

"Brandy, you're a fine girl

What a good wife you would be

But my life, my lover, my lady

Is the sea"

"Brandy, you're a fine girl

What a good wife you would be

But my life, my lover, my lady

Is the sea"

quote:Originally posted by Forgotten:

*Sings*

There's a port on a western bay

And it serves a hundred ships a day

Lonely sailors pass the time away

And talk about their homes

And there's a girl, in this harbor town

And she works, laying whiskey down

They say "Brandy, fetch another round"

She serves them whiskey and wine

The sailors say "Brandy, you're a fine girl

What a good wife you would be

Yeah your eyes could steal a sailor

From the sea."

Brandy, wears a braided chain

Made of finest silver from the north of Spain

A locket, that bears the name

Of a man that Brandy loved

He came, on a summer's day

Bringing gifts, from far away

But he made it clear, he couldn't stay

No harbor was his home

The sailors said "Brandy, you're a fine girl

What a good wife you would be

But my life, my lover, my lady

Is the sea."

Yeah Brandy used to watch his eyes when he told his sailor's story

She could feel the ocean fall and rise, she saw it's raging glory

But he had always told the truth, Lord he was an honest man

And Brandy does her best to understand

At night, when the bars close down

Brandy walks through a silent town

And loves a man, who's not around

She still can hear him say, she hears him say

"Brandy, you're a fine girl

What a good wife you would be

But my life, my lover, my lady

Is the sea"

"Brandy, you're a fine girl

What a good wife you would be

But my life, my lover, my lady

Is the sea"

I'll drink to that!

Why you wanna go and get 'settled down'? Coz everybody else does?

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

You're a man. Go out and get all the pussy you can!

Keep girlfriends, but never marry; marriage turns women into their true selves. Don't let it happen!

http://www.videorambler.com/2006/06/log-drivers-waltz.html

I want to establish a career, so about 30+. I wouldn't be opposed to getting married or serious relationship around 26+, I just don't want kids for a long time.

that was good shit.. all of it.

Desert dude I envy your outlook.. I got issues I guess.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

http:/ /www.video rambler.com/2006/06/log-drivers-waltz.html (http: //www.vide orambler.c om/2006/06 /log-drive rs-waltz.h tml)

Your a sick man.

quote:Originally posted by fullcircle:

never.

+1

But if you have to get married and have kids and all that shit, which I HIGHLY advise against, it depends on your age. If you're a guy, you shouldn't even be thinking about "settling down" till you're in your 40s, at least. Your wife should also be MUCH younger than you, since women don't age nearly as well as men.

For women, it seems that most of them whore around as much as they can until their late 20-early 30s and then desperately try to find a man to latch onto and leech off of just before their looks start to fade.

quote:Originally posted by thendoftheline:

that was good shit.. all of it.

Desert dude I envy your outlook.. I got issues I guess.

Hey man, in time, we all settle down. But right now, I have nothin to lose.

Let me tell you my secret:

1) Trust in the Lord to steer you right, even if you arent always praying and doin right, just remember someone already determined your fate, so why fret?

2) Work hard

3) Fight hard (yes, the 2nd and 3rd are related to livin a carefree life. It allows you to focus your energy and get what you want. Focus your stress on that. Right now my health has gone to shit because I've been spending 10-18 hours a day at school, sacrificing everything, sanity included)

4) Have dreams, outside of settling down

5) Maintain self discipline.

6) Just don't care, and enjoy life.

Not that hard mon'. Oddly enough a lot of people envy my stress free life.

mid 20s at least.

dont want to wait too long, as you still want to be somewhat physically potent when your kids hit their teenaged years.

Sounds like solid advice to me man.. I donno about part 1 because I'm not even sure where I even stand religiously right now but I like what you got to say.

Step back and look at the big picture. Do you want children? Do you want to see your childrens children?

If you don't care about children, it is not a big deal to get married later in life. If children are in your plans, early 30's will work fine.

If you want to see your children's children, better start now.

I've said since I was 12 (seriously), that if I hit 30, I'll settle down then. Not a day before. So, 10 more years (if I last), and I'll find a good woman to settle with (Or settle with the one I have now).

quote:Originally posted by fullcircle:

never.

Couldn't have said it better my self.

I remember once, randomly my ex said something like "If we had kids they'd love me more"...I was like GOD DAMN. Kids? Any way, from my reaction she never mentioned the future again.

The future scares me. As does marriage. That's how I know I'll find the right chick, the idea of marrying her wont be a FUCKING TERRIFYING ONE (like it currently is for me).

Chances are, I'll never get married. I like.

27

live fast die young anarchy of the mind freedom of the soul!

Whenever you feel you're ready.

"The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men." - Aristotle.

I got engaged when I was 22, she was 20. It lasted about 8 months, but her mental issues (bi-polar, etc) got in the way and she broke it off. I would have probably stayed with her forever, as that is the personality I have. I was (and am still in many ways) ready for marriage and kids. I'll be 24 in September.

As for the "right age" that depends on a lot of things. My parents got together when they were 21 and 20, and split two years later - how your parents turned out probably has a lot to do with your own sort of "clock." Kids sometimes force your hand. Over in Japan, it is a cultural thing that nearly all women get married before or around their 25th birthday. Ignoring personality types and family history, I'd say that is about as good age as any.

Careers and priorities are fine, but at some point a person has to make a decision about what is important to them. Having a lot of money is good, but I do not see that as being a higher priority than having a companion (in every sense of the word) to share your life and experiences with. That may just be me.

quote:Originally posted by Red Raven:

Having a lot of money is good, but I do not see that as being a higher priority than having a companion (in every sense of the word) to share your life and experiences with.

Money > Love

Any day of the week. Seriously, I'd be happy if I had lots of money for the rest of my life, regardless of what people say. I know it as fact in my heart. I wanted to join the army because money is worth risking my life for.

Money is the best shit around. It lets you buy things. Buying things makes you happy. Loved ones makes you sad.

You can be with someone and have all these things without being "settled down". Just because you're with someone, it doesn't mean your life is boring.

quote:Originally posted by fullcircle:

never.

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:

I want to establish a career, so about 30+. I wouldn't be opposed to getting married or serious relationship around 26+, I just don't want kids for a long time.

This is my views on this also. Thanks now I don't have to type it

I'm 20, 21 next month, and the idea of settling down, wife, kids and a house just doesn't appeal to me yet, as i've got some things that i'd like to do in life first, which in my eyes come first.

Believe it or not, a guy I know is 17 and getting engaged this year... Wow.

quote:Originally posted by Parallax:

For women, it seems that most of them whore around as much as they can until their late 20-early 30s and then desperately try to find a man to latch onto and leech off of just before their looks start to fade.

So fucking true, it's unbareabe.

Women are way too busy skankin' it up to get tied down, unless they met some rich guy that was willing to marry them and give them some weekly allowance. They skank it up so bad that they stab their own friends' backs and make many enemies. By the time their 30, they become afraid because all of their former friends, now acquantances, have homes with children and husbands. So not only are they afraid of the number itself, they are afraid of being alone for the rest of their lives. To top it off, no one is there to support them in their time of fear because they've made enemies of their once friends.

A guy I know whos about the same age as me (20), got married to some girl recently that he's been going with for about 4-5 years.

So far, they seem very happy, but I still ponder, can they last?

They're not planning on kids until they both have good jobs and are well settled, though both seem to doing something with futures. The guy is training as a mechanic and already works part time as one, can't remember what the girl is doing.. but really all sounds good.



To answer the question at hand, I would never have thought the above example is a good idea, I'd say maybe about 26 ish but in actuality, it's all up to you.

quote:Originally posted by postdiluvium:

So fucking true, it's unbareabe.

Women are way too busy skankin' it up to get tied down, unless they met some rich guy that was willing to marry them and give them some weekly allowance. They skank it up so bad that they stab their own friends' backs and make many enemies. By the time their 30, they become afraid because all of their former friends, now acquantances, have homes with children and husbands. So not only are they afraid of the number itself, they are afraid of being alone for the rest of their lives. To top it off, no one is there to support them in their time of fear because they've made enemies of their once friends.

Not that I necessarily agree with everything you said, but to add to it, their biological clocks are also ticking in case they ever DO want to have kids.... unlike men who can impregnate women well into their 60's, maybe later, most women have a tough time reproducing once they get to about 40.

In my opinion... You should get married, when you BOTH... think you're ready, Don't have kids until you can financially take care of them...

I heard that from raising a kid from 0-18 years old cost on average $200,000... I thought it was bullshit until I researched it and sure enough its pretty much it..

I'm 18, she is 20. We are engaged and soon to be married.

well, I'm 21 I can't see myself getting married until I'm at least 28+. Marriage is a huge step finding that special girl to be with plus them taking money. www.nomarriage.com (http://www.nomarriage.com) I have 2 friends who got married when they were both 18 and now they don't even talk to each other so I dunno if its worth it or not

quote:Originally posted by Agent 008:

"The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men." - Aristotle.

quote:Originally posted by Tesla:

www.nomarriage.com

well, there's no "magic age" where you're all of a sudden prepared to settle down. Like it's been said before, it depends on what your goals and maturity levels are. But if you're looking for a ballpark estimate, most people would say that 23-29 is the age when most people start successfully settling down.

quote:Originally posted by postdiluvium:

So fucking true, it's unbareabe.

Women are way too busy skankin' it up to get tied down, unless they met some rich guy that was willing to marry them and give them some weekly allowance. They skank it up so bad that they stab their own friends' backs and make many enemies. By the time their 30, they become afraid because all of their former friends, now acquantances, have homes with children and husbands. So not only are they afraid of the number itself, they are afraid of being alone for the rest of their lives. To top it off, no one is there to support them in their time of fear because they've made enemies of their once friends.

That doesn't make sense. If all women were like that, surely their friends wouldn't be settled down?

Wrong on so many levels, but with a basic element of truth - women get old and desperate and broody.

On subject, when it feels right is the right time. But the younger you are when you settle, the more likely you are to have some sort of crisis about 'wasted youth' at some point in the future.

But then some people are in their eighties and have been happily married since their teens. Nowt queer as folk.

Jx

Just to clarify: I said in my post that I'm nowhere near the idea of getting married or having kids at this point in time. In fact, I don't even want to be in a relationship right now.

I've got a lot of wild oats to sow yet!

quote:Originally posted by Agent 008:

"The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men." - Aristotle.

I like this.

If you're dumb and poor, might as well settle down and start having babies in the late teens or early 20's.

If you're educated and want to do reasonably well in your life and not live in a shitty neighborhood, then wait until you're into the late 20's or early 30's.

mid 20s early 30s

quote:Originally posted by Forgotten:

Brandy, you're a fine girl

Three Dog Night for the win.

I say it all depends on each person. However it longs you to find someone you think you can spend the rest of your life with and after you have been with them a MINIMUM of 2 years NO FUCKING SOONER STUPID ASSHOLES(this is to those people that get engaged after 5 months and then end up in divorce a year or two later). Now I said thats the minimum id like to wait at least 4-5 years with my special love. So a good age would be about 25 or older by that time you could have found someone and been with them for a few years or you can start looking. Also you need to have a decent living. If your working at McDonalds still maybe you should wait till you are able to support your family before you start one. By the time im married I plan on having my career in the military set up pretty good moneywise and been with my love for at least 5 years or so.

I think the main points of marraige are not age but more HOW Long the realationship has lasted before you want to get engaged, and how you are financially, and if you think you can be with that person the rest of your life.

quote:Originally posted by Psionicist:

Three Dog Night for the win.

Nope. You lose. Brandy was done by Looking Glass.