Hey I'm 17, I have a problem with relationships. No I'm not a loser who doesn't talk to girls. I know many girls from partys and school. But the whole relationship thing.. It's just something I cannot stand doing.

The real big reason is that I keep thinking it's all a game. For example

-> Meet her

-> Have smalltalk you don't really care about anyway

-> Ask for number/email..

Etc.. I keep thinking it's all just a setup, I don't mind talking with girls, having friends. The whole fucking relationship thing is just pretty stupid to me.

One other major thing is that, when you DO get into a relationship all that happens is problems generate. Really whatever you say/do can lead to a problem.. and WHO WANTS problems? By the way.. I've had several girlfriends before but none seem to last very long at all. I'm just not interested. (No not gay)

Anyway I can keep going on and on but I wont, am I the only anti-relationship person here?

You learn as you go mate. I still have problems at 19. *shrug*

Just go for it, enjoy yourself and learn what you can when you fuck up.

quote:Originally posted by stab:



Just go for it, enjoy yourself and learn what you can when you fuck up.

One would have to search long and far to find wiser words than these.

quote:Originally posted by Rizzo in a box:

One would have to search long and far to find wiser words than these.

<3 and sexy time

You shouldn't get into a relationship for the hell of it, or because it seems like what's expected. When you meet a girl who's relationship-worthy, you'll know, and it'll seem easy. I went almost two years without a relationship because there was nobody worth having a relationship with (well, not that were practical). Don't worry about it.

man there's so much bullshit that comes with a relationship.. i love this girl and she loves me, but it's just hard to express, hard to have everything fit in. opening up is hard, and you gotta be yourself. just hang in there and you'll find each other, love her man, and make sure she loves you. don't go overboard with 'i love you' every other sentence, as hard as it is it should come out when it just does cause it's that real shit. be true to yourself and her, and you know most if not all of this but it's just some real life advice i'm throwing out there =|.

sometimes it's frustrating and there's always bullshit, but just make the most of it, and don't look or make things positive when they aren't, cause that's delusional thinking. just take away the most you can from everything and seriously

don't try too hard, cause personally i've been fucking up on that one.

-Staples

Don't play along with the bullshit.

I was trying to learn how to get girls from a friend of mine, he told me "Be cocky but funny, leave them wanting you not the other way around, act like you know who you are, appear spontaneous and vibrant".

I tried it, and it worked, I got a girl, but it turned out it wasn't a girl i really wanted after I got to know her better.

I said, well I guess I just have to go through this fake shit until I find a girl I can be myself around.

Then I read a book called The Game by Niel Strauss. If you haven't read it I strongly recommend it, but make sure you get the lesson at the end.

There are common characteristics that many women like, if you embody them they'll generally like you more. In the end though, you aren't looking for a woman who appreciates those characteristics, you're looking for a woman who appreciates the characteristics you truthfully embody.

The point of a relationship is to find someone to be comfortable with and close to. Acting like anything other than yourself won't help you find a woman who you can do that with.

I never dated in high school for those exact reasons - it seemed like no "relationship" lasted longer than three months, and everyone ended up hating each other in the end. What's the point, right? I would rather have as many good friendships with the opposite sex as I could rather than screwing it up and losing that friend forever.

The problem is that when I finally opened myself up to relationships, I had no precedent to go by and made a lot of stupid mistakes when the stakes are higher than in high school. So while I would not say to intentionally get into a bunch of frivolous relationships at this stage in your life, I would certainly recommend letting them naturally develop where possible (i.e. not fight against them). Eventually, you'll get into an actual relationship that matters to you, and the worst feeling in the world is screwing something like that up because you have no idea how to behave, what common boundaries are, what is reasonable to expect, and so on.