Ok so my girlfriend was telling me that she wanted to lose waight, to feel better about herself.Shes skinny, I didnt really see a reason, but its her desition, so I was going to support her.

So I asked her "how much would you like to lose", to just make conversation I guess, and she shows me a pic of some skinny like.. eww skinny girl.

I was pretty much shocked, I asked her if she was messing with me and she told me she wasnt..

So I started to tell her that its not healthy, she would be weak, etc etc..

Then she got mad at me :S

She said: "fine, Ill talk to someone else, someone who understands".

At this point I was aggrivated, I was trying to do the best for her..

So, I told her:"Fine, talk to someone who doesnt care about you, someone who'll lie to make you feel better".

And I just left her.

Now shes mad at ME....

/drama

Gah!!





I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sucks but your in a kind of lose/lose situation.

Whatever you do or say will be wrong, or offensive, or unsupportive.



If you truly like her and want her, then you may well have some difficult times ahead of you. If you realise that she's not worth the effort, it's time to bail now.

If you do want to stay with her, you're going to have to do the simpering adoring boyfriend role, and tell her she's beautifull and amazing alot. It probably wont help, but it might not make her despise herself *quite* so much,.

You're right

yes I know..

gah.. no, but I wont bail on her, Im just not like that.

Ill stick through this..

Funny thing is that shes studying nursery, so she knows all the dangers..

I straight out told her that if she had "something", to tell me...

We both knew what we were talking about and she told me she didnt.. but im not sure..

AND on top of it all, shes very sensitive and emotional..

*sigh...*

Cruel to be kind.

quote:Originally posted by MilkAndInnards:

You're right

QFT.

Well, thanks.

Doesnt change the fact that shes mad at ME, when I should be mad at HER.

but yeah, thanks.

I have to say I've been in a situation like that with a close female friend of mine. It took me forever to get it through her head that it would be fucking stupid. Her losing weight was fine with me, but she wanted to be like anarexic. So I just told her she would look ugly as fuck. Lol but I guess you can't do that cause she's you're mrs. But I just said to my friend that once a week I'm gonna take her out for a big meal, and that if she gets too skinny I'm gonna abuse her. Hahaha

You shouldn't be mad at her, you should try and get her to understand that she's being irrational, especially if she's already skinny...

Edit - Find out what the lowest healthy BMI is for her height. Tell her if she gets below that weight, you're kicking her bony ass to the curb...lol

[This message has been edited by Sick_Boy (edited 02-03-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

You shouldn't be mad at her, you should try and get her to understand that she's being irrational, especially if she's already skinny...

Edit - Find out what the lowest healthy BMI is for her height. Tell her if she gets below that weight, you're kicking her bony ass to the curb...lol



Im not mad per se, but I find it annoying that she gets mad at me for trying to help her.Shit, shes like just eating 2-3 fruits a day and nothing else.

Shes a bit above her "ideal" weight, I think it was around 55kg or something.. shes around 57 or so.

I tried to reason with her, that if she wanted to lose that weight that we could do it together, exercise, follow a diet.She said that shes doesnt "like" to exercise..

Im not sure what to do, Ill be there for her I guess, and If I see things are getting outta hand Im going to have to be harsh.

If it means our break-up, but her health, then Ill choose that...

[This message has been edited by missing_cipher (edited 02-03-2007).]

Break up with her. Shes gonna fuck you over in the end

You're right, pal.

I've been in this situation myself and believe me you are definitely right and if you don't wanna bail on her you have got to crack the fuck down now before she gets to bad with it. Soon she's telling herself "anorexia is for those people who are really skinny and im not going to do that i just wanna get a bit thin not that gross thin" and thats what all anorexic people think...its retarded and i don't understand how a girl could think 27.5 kilos is healthy. Anyway tell her now before it gets out of hand what shes doing to herself or bail on her because you're in for a hardass time. Good luck, you'll need it

yeah, i can relate to this situation. i dont think it would be fair to break up with her just because she has an unhealthy perception of herself or an unrealistic/unhealthy goal. only break up with her if her outlook is really negatively impacting your relationship and you don't want to be with her anymore. in fact, try to distance yourself from her weight issues. don't become her therapist. you are her boyfriend, and as such you are NOT responsible for her mental and physical health.

Hmm she sounds as if she has some insecurity issues. You just need to reassure that you love her and the way she looks at the moment and (optional) that you will find her less attractive if she becomes some skinny little tiwg.

Let me guess, she reads shitty glossy magasines like Cosmopolitan/watches a lot of celevrity television doesn't she?

THIS is where she is being influenced to look like a thin runt because she thinks that celebrities are "hot" to be so thin.

You need to tell her that she needs to be her own self and not let what she sees in other people deemed "celebrities" or whateverthefuck influence the way it is healthy to live her life. i.e. NOT ANOREXIC.

Im in this position too. If I'm not supportive of diets and shit Im in trouble. If I am supportive I think she's fat. Its bullshit. Just remind her you think she hot and beautiful and shit like that (hopefully when she's not talking about a diet).

I'm sorry to say...but she's right

It's the same with my boyfriend and the fact I want to get bigger boobs. He says I'm crazy and bla bla bla, but it'd sure help me to improve my selfstime.

Explain that she is anorexic.

He was right. I mean, a super thin girl is never pretty, the way Lucyinthesky looks is just right IMO.

And why does she have to be super thin and look like a straw? I mean, isn't she pleased that the man with whom she is now thinks she's gorgeous the way she looks? Why do girls always wanna look like super models? Super models aren't goregous IMO, I have never seen a super model and thought "I fuck that right away", they're always waaaay too thin and have a head shaped like an alien...

Anyway, girls, be happy with the way you look, if guys don't take you the way you are without changing yourself, they don't deserve to be with you.

Be happy the way you are and change for nobody.

If that's all she's eatin then she needs help. She has the potential to develop a serious eating disorder if you don't help her.

Ok, to update everyone in the situation:

I gave her a few days to cool off, then I talked to her again.

We started our conversation casual, how are you? etc etc..

We drifted into this topic, so I let her know that whatever her decision was that I was going to follow through with her and support her through all her decisions.I encouraged her that if she really wanted to lose weight like that, thatd wed both do it, but in a healthy matter.

I since the beggining figured that the weight thing wasnt the only thing bothering her, so I dug a little deeper(something not very smart sometimes, I know), and I got to the bottom of things.

Shes been very stressed because of exams shes taking in college and its killing her..

Well, to sum things up..

We're ok, shes eating healthier now and Im going to start exercising with her.

Thanks alot S&A

another probem solved team . *takes puff on cigar as the credits begin to roll*

quote:Originally posted by inverted:

another probem solved team . *takes puff on cigar as the credits begin to roll*

Girl meets boy.

Girl likes boy, boy likes girl.

Boy and girl hit it off.

Boy turns into a wussy bitch.

*1 month passes*

Girl thinks shes fat(attention WHORE) and wants to lose weight.

Boy, who is even more of a wussy bitch wants to "do whats best for her".

Boy puts up with all her drama shit because she wanted some attention that wasn't: "Oh baby, you're so beautiful, I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you, BLAH BLAH BLAH"

Girl decides to stop attention whoring for a bit.



and thats a good solution to a problem?

Just seems like you broke your leg awhile ago, didn't want to admit it.. and a month later put a band-aid on it.

quote:Originally posted by missing_cipher:

I encouraged her that if she really wanted to lose weight like that, thatd wed both do it, but in a healthy matter.

I since the beggining figured that the weight thing wasnt the only thing bothering her, so I dug a little deeper(something not very smart sometimes, I know), and I got to the bottom of things.

Shes been very stressed because of exams shes taking in college and its killing her..

Well, to sum things up..

We're ok, shes eating healthier now and Im going to start exercising with her.

Thanks alot S&A

Alright first when I read your topic and you said she was only eating 2-3 pieces of fruit a day, that was worrying. Anyway pay attention to those periods of stress because she might be feeling bad about herself during those times and trying to change her body image reflects the stress she's in.

How tall is she? I'm like 1,68m (that's like 5'6'') and 54 kg (119lbs) and that's the only way I feel good. Kinda thin but if I put up a few pounds I don't feel so good anymore, maybe that happens with her too, as you say she's obviously not fat, she's just trying to feel good about herself. Now if she starts to obcess about being really really skinny like models and such, now that's a start to anorexia.

Now if you talked to her and she's going to eat healthy and exercise, I think you're on the good path. Congratulations on being a good gf supporter =)

quote:Originally posted by deathbyrainbows:

Alright first when I read your topic and you said she was only eating 2-3 pieces of fruit a day, that was worrying. Anyway pay attention to those periods of stress because she might be feeling bad about herself during those times and trying to change her body image reflects the stress she's in.

How tall is she? I'm like 1,68m (that's like 5'6'') and 54 kg (119lbs) and that's the only way I feel good. Kinda thin but if I put up a few pounds I don't feel so good anymore, maybe that happens with her too, as you say she's obviously not fat, she's just trying to feel good about herself. Now if she starts to obcess about being really really skinny like models and such, now that's a start to anorexia.

Now if you talked to her and she's going to eat healthy and exercise, I think you're on the good path. Congratulations on being a good gf supporter =)



Thanks, and yeah, shes 1,66Mt. I think her "ideal" weight is around 54Kg, around there.

Shes around 60.

So yeah, thanks again.

quote:Originally posted by LucyintheSkywithDiamonds:

I'm sorry to say...but she's right

It's the same with my boyfriend and the fact I want to get bigger boobs. He says I'm crazy and bla bla bla, but it'd sure help me to improve my selfstime.

She's not right when it's dangerous for her to be that skinny.