I'd like to know what the labels "girlfriend"/"boyfriend" mean to you. Once you attach these labels, what do you think changes, if anything?

The reason I ask:

I'm currently dating this girl who likes me but, as I heard from a mutual friend, doesn't want to label our relationship. I don't know much more, just that she thinks that there are things that come with the label that she doesn't want right now. I dont know what that means, I'm going to talk to her about it soon. But honestly I couldnt see anything changing with our relationship if we were to "label" it.

monogamous sex partners in serious emotional bond= boyfriend and girlfriend

Yeah, but everything has a label. Just go with whatever she wants, and quite frankly I dont think it matters a bit anyway. People are aware of your couple-like existance anyhow, no? Pick your battles. She probably just doesnt want too much commitment too soon.

I may be talking like a fool, but I would pick your battles. Just be yourself, and dont push it. Take it slowly.

How old are you anyway?

17. She's 15.

Yeah people are aware of our couple-like existance. We act like a couple in private and we're beginning to act like a couple more and more in public I guess.

Exclusive relationship.

agreed, exclusive relationship with sex/making out and whatnot

o ya emotions too

See that's what I think too. We are exclusive and we do have emotions, as far as I know.

Maybe she just needs time? I could be rushing things...

quote:Originally posted by Canadian:



Maybe she just needs time? I could be rushing things...

Yeah, she does.

Till you're boyfriend/girlfriend, technically, you have no right to get pissed off if she's seeing/kissing any one else.

Basically, she'll start calling YOU her boyfriend when the idea of you being with some one else bothers her so much that she wont want to be with any one else.

[This message has been edited by arquin (edited 02-01-2007).]

A few weeks ago I asked a girl to be my girlfriend, for the first time in my life. Any other time it has just happened.

I was completely wasted, staggering up my yard with her, 3 of her friends and 5 or 6 of mine, and I just stopped her and said "Do ya want a boyfriend?" She replied "Only if it's you" and we've been faithful since!

I know being faithful to someone for a few weeks doesnt seem like a big deal, but Ive been enjoying the lack of monogamy with ease, for fourteen months before this

So... the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. It means you stay faithful to your significant other. Obviously any relationship will be different than any other, so it's hard to label it any further than that.

To me, it makes it official.

Like i am seeing someone right now, but we are not boyfriend and girlfriend(we have been in the past). I see her more of a partner/otherhalf.

Ultimately it means nothing really.

It sounds to me like she doesn't want a committment.

I disagree. It might not be that she doesn't want commitment, just that those particular words embarrass her.

Very weird dude. I was in almost the exact same situation as you. Im 17 shes 15. A friend told me she doesnt like the whole labeling "bf/gf" thing. I just gave it time and got to know her even better and as of Tuesday its official.

The only thing that bugged me about not "officially" dating her was that if she went and fucked some other guy, she wouldn't "officially" be cheating. Not that I think she would do that but it just feels more secure when it's official like that.

quote:Originally posted by stab:

I disagree. It might not be that she doesn't want commitment, just that those particular words embarrass her.



You could be right. They might seem "elementary" to her.

Bah. She's FIFTEEN. She's just going through that age, where 'I don't fit into a label. Don't label me. Now I'm gonna go listen to my mainstream music, while dressing in trendy clothes... BUT DON'T LABEL ME!!' phase. I really do hate those phases.

oc6:

I don't get how it would be considered elementary, adults do it to. 'Hey mom, whose that guy who keeps hanging around the house?' 'Oh, that's Chuck, your real father, and my boyfriend.'

I BLAME ALL THE LITTLE TWERPS WHO WISH TO BE UNIQUE THROUGH NOT WANTING TO BE LABELLED... little shits...

/rant

quote:Originally posted by Mabas:



oc6:

I don't get how it would be considered elementary, adults do it to. 'Hey mom, whose that guy who keeps hanging around the house?' 'Oh, that's Chuck, your real father, and my boyfriend.'

I BLAME ALL THE LITTLE TWERPS WHO WISH TO BE UNIQUE THROUGH NOT WANTING TO BE LABELLED... little shits...

/rant

*shudders*

Not in my house! Ever!

That's a very good question. I think a boyfriend/girlfriend is a partner that you endure the trials and tribulations of life with. For the most part/in most cases you're monogamous because the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship allows you to have an intimate and sexually intimate connection with another person that you wouldn't be able to have otherwise. You support each other and carry each other and forgive each other as best as you can and in some cases you end up falling in love and in other cases you part.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, just broke up with my boyfriend and trying to figure out what exactly it is that I want from a relationship. Or if I even want a relationship.

Cheers,

Lost

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

*shudders*

Not in my house! Ever!

I wish it'd happen in mine... Mother's been divorced for... 3... I think... Years, and she's gotta get out and about. Old man already has a woman under his belt. Guess it's just my father's side of the family though.

soulmate means something to me