{fucking Looong}

So I love being young. I'm 20, and life is good, in this department anyway. The financial situation is a bitch, seems to get harder and harder. Moving out while being in school, etc. etc. I was talking with my parents when I was bck home for christmas and they said the same thing.

Anyway. I've been through some relationship hell, and I've had my share of promescuity, which I'm not entierly proud of, even yes; I am male.

Tha' Past

I had a girlfriend of about 2 1/2 years in highschool, started out good I suppose. But as it went on it just became more and more apparent how high mantenance she was. Now, I'm not made of fucking money. I've not held a job that actually made me a decent ammount.

Basicly, she just kinda got comfortable knowing i wouldn't leave, and got kinda lazy. Let herself go. Stopped wearing make up, put on a bit of weight, never wanted to do anything, ect. ect. The sex wasn't all that enjoyable, and anytime she got mad she said that all I used her for was sex. And trust me, I didn't get it enough to keep an anemic bed ridden quadraplegic satisfied.

My promescuity came about when I dumped her for a two week stretch once, a month another time, and two days. The two days was the worse, I don't even know that girls name, damn.

Now

Now I've found, or I guess considered a girl I hadn't really before. I've known her for about 3 years, and she says she's had a crush on me for that duration, but never made a move because I always had a girlfriend etc. etc. She's incredibly interesting and shares a shit ton in common with me.

She's thin, pretty, nice, and amazing. She's had her bout with promescuity too, due to self hatred and a horribly low self esteem. I'm working on that, and doing a bitchin' job I gotta admit.

But in three months I've fell in love with this girl, and she has me. I have feelings I didn't after 3 fucking years. This is just so much different, on so many levels.

There is no guilt with sex, actually pretty much the oposite. Last time I saw her, two days ago she couldn't stay off me. We ended up having sex 4 times, she was sober for all four, I was sober for three.

Girl isn't afraid to give a blow job. Knows how to goddamn do it. But she's had problems in the bedroom being comfortable before. SHe's opening up to me, and apparently I'm the only guy she's actually got off with. And frankly it's nearly every time as well. I feel pretty proud about that.

Now yeah yeah, you call bullshit. I'm very close with her best friend, and she also relayed this info to me, as did one of her other friends. So Fuck you, I am a master of my own dick. I may not be hung like a donkey, but I know how to use what the non-existant god gave me.



The goddamn Jist of this Shit

Anyway. The real point to this is: I'm in goddamn love, and it's great. She makes me happy when shit couldn't be more wrong in myself. She's there when I see no light, and I'm there for her. Her face lights up she she sees me, as does mine. She gets sad when I have to leave. Supports my band even if it's not her type of music. Doesn't bitch about my smoking.

Basicly what I'm saying is that love is out there. I wouldn't be suprized if I fuck this up, but at least I know that it's out there.

quote:Originally posted by acid_drop:

Basicly what I'm saying is that love is out there. I wouldn't be suprized if I fuck this up, but at least I know that it's out there.

Thanks Mulder.

Thanks, but i didn't really need to read what i already know about most of totse.

quote:Originally posted by jvm222:

Thanks, but i didn't really need to read what i already know about most of totse.

Wwhat now mr. man? And it was your choice to read it.