Ok, so guess what? I think I might have fallen for my friend. We've been friends since last year, and I just can't take it anymore. I like her. So, should I tell her how I feel about her and risk loosing my friendship with her? or should I just keep hiding it?

Assess your situation.

Is there any chance the feeling would be reciprocated?

No matter what you do don't pour your heart out to the girl. That never does anybody any good.

-F☺rd

I'm fairly jaded in this area, so my advice is, of course tainted with bitterness and depression.

Look at your friendship now.

Do you like it?

Really think about that one, because the moment you tell her how you feel, it will never be the same. You can't take it back.

If the feelings aren't mutual, you will most likely ruin your friendship. It's happened twice to me.

If you ever think about telling her, you better know or pray to god that she feels the same way, or you'll have completely destroyed the friendship.

What it boils down to is this: would you rather have her in your life as just a friend or not at all?

If you do and she rejects you it will be finished. People regret the decision your debating everyday.

i have the same situation...

it's a fucking toss up. i dont want ot fuck up our relationship as friends.

im hoping if i tell her she'll tell me i dont feel the same way, i'm afraid if she does, we'll date and i'd fuck it up.



life is complicated, only your heart can decide, but that sounds gay.

so...

bang her.

Bitches come and bitches go...Friends are around a little longer!

If the friendship is worth losing for a chance at a somewhat romantic relationship, then go for it by all means.

If you have a brain, you'll decide to move along.

Not sure how old you are, but if you're old enough then invite her out for drinks sometime. That's what I'd do.

How much time do you spend together one on one?

Um, we are both 17 but her b-day is gonna be in about 3 days. and we talk everyday on msn txt msg and at school. So we talk at least for a few hrs per day.

Here are my experiences for you.

I told my best friend of a few years that I liked her and she was like 'oh cool I like you too!' We ended up going out for 7 years. It was awesome, but she dumped me for someone else, as you may have read.

Recently, I told a good friend of mine that I like her (kind of forced into it.. long story), and things got weird. We still hang out, but only in groups and I think she is kind of wary of me at all times. Sucks because it was really just a crush and it's over. I hadn't planned on telling her, though, because our friendship's been pretty good for years.

It's really a hit or miss thing. You might fuck up your friendship, but you can also find someone great. So there you have it.

Yeah, you have to assess her feelings.

If you bring it up in a way that's non-binding so that it seems it doesn't matter what she says, like, hey do you have any feelings for me besides our friendship?, and if her answer is yes go for it if no, say oh yeah was just wondering, something so that she knows but it's not deemed important.

If you get me.

Don't fucking do it. It won't work out for you.

My advice would be don't tell her.

I had the same problem a year ago. I told my friend of about two years that I wanted to be more than just that.

She didn't feel the same way and it just made things awkward for a while.

We're not friends anymore but it doesn't have anything to do with that (she's in an abusive relationship and her boyfriend doesn't let her talk to anyone).

But hey, if it's really bothering you (like it did me) then just tell her so you'll know. Someone told me, "Just tell her. At least you'll know and you won't spend the rest of your life wondering." I'm glad I took his advice.

Im in the same situation >_>

but, I have a girlfriend

and.. she flirts with me(my friend) >.<

ok i have decided to tell her but not during this week that is coming up... instead i wanna wait till after her bday party and then tell her. so probably in the first week of February.

Anyone got any ideas as to how should I tell her?b

I would recommend you wouldn't. It would suck losing her.

[This message has been edited by Betrayal (edited 01-26-2007).]

dont do it..it will fail and then you'll be fucked up and more lonely...

quote:Originally posted by asma123:

Anyone got any ideas as to how should I tell her?b

Honestly dude, just pay a whore. It's cheaper, easier and you have nothing to lose. Who the fuck needs a girlfriend? You need to hold the door for her, pay for her, give her head..Just pay a whore OR get a fuck friend. Call your fuck friend, fuck, dont call her till next weekend, call her next weekend, fuck, repeat.

She sounds like a pretty close friend. I wouldn't do it, I'd just go for another hoe.

If you have other friends to hang out with, then tell her.

I wouldn't. I'd rape her.

On a serious note, nobody can tell you if you should or should not tell her. She's your friend, you talk to her several hours a day, you're part of her life. Do you want to lose this spot or move up to being even more important in her life (being her boyfriend). It's all up to you.

Slip her the cock. Just scanning this thread I read a lot of "No wai, it would suck to lose your friend"... well urrr.. if you're a guy, then this isn't really a problem. If you have a female who is really just a friend, she is ugly. If she is not ugly then you really just want to bang her. Anybody who says otherwise is a gay or a girl, probably a gay though because any girl who has a pair of tits knows the deal </end>

Don't forget that you can always manipulate her and make her like you. I wouldn't know how to do that, but maybe you should start by giving her little clues. Get a little closer to her, hug her a bit more, that type of thing.

But if you do tell her and she rejects you, it'll be awkward as hell talking to her, thus, you losing a good friend.

Just try to take your mind off her vagina/tit area for a while.

quote:Originally posted by asma123:

Anyone got any ideas as to how should I tell her?b

Since you probably haven't read the posts above you or you haven't payed attention to them, I'll say it again. If you value your friendship, DON'T FUCKING DO IT! I speak from experience, it will never, ever, be the same if she doesn't feel the same way.

Chances are the reason you are her "friend" is because you've wanted this all along. Males can't be friends with attractive females, period. Chances are if she hasn't even hinted to liking you so far in your long friendship, she doesn't like you. Women only are "friends" with guys who they don't find attractive, just like guys are. Generally, the coolest girls are only as cool as...the lamest guys. Guys just give hot girls leeway in their dumbass antics because well...they have more than one hole.

If you ask her, I wouldn't worry so much about "losing her as a friend", you're better off without her really. Once you get rejected, you'll feel a shooting pain inside of you every time you decide to tag along, or even worse when she gets a boyfriend who will most likely be much better looking, richer, or more of an asshole than you. Youll say to yourself "this guy is everything she doesn't see in me", buy a bottle of wild turkey, sit on your bathroom seat and blow your brains out.

In the end, try it, but be ready to never talk to her again. When she rejects you, just make sure you brush it off immediatly so she doesnt go into phoney girl nurturing mode (wahhh you'd make a great boyfriend, but you're not my type" kind of nonesense). When she sees that maybe you're an emotioneless asshole, you could still have a shot, just save your crying and whimpering for when you get home, unless you want to be embarrassed.



[This message has been edited by VladimirIllyichLenin (edited 01-26-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by asma123:

Anyone got any ideas as to how should I tell her?b

OK, so you are going to tell her right around Valentines Day right?? Good! Then, just be cool man. Start acting like her boyfriend from the start. Ask to take her out and that you have something to tell her. Buy her dinner get her roses do the whole thing. Main thing: CONFIDENCE

Then, just explain to her whats up and that its killing you, you've fallen to asking &T, and whatnot.

Fuck man you only live once. Do it you WILL feel better after no matter what these bastards have said.

PS. when fucking your old lady...member to call her JAY

quote:Originally posted by treasureintheattic:

If you value your friendship, DON'T FUCKING DO IT!

That is something to think about. In what ways do you value her friendship? Or, have you been friends all this time because you are attracted to her?

Now, if it's the latter...then you have nothing to lose, imo, because it might not be her friendship you are valuing but rather her proximity.

????

Well the thing is... I didn't used to find her that attractive last year when I started being friends with her.. but now I like her and She was the one that started talking to me anyways. Another thing is that I didn't ask her for her e-mail. This one time we were hanging out we were talking about music and then she's like pff ill send you good music here's my e-mail and she wrote it on a piece of paper from my binder. Also a couple of my other (guy) friends when they saw me with her they were like "dude, it's kind of obvious she likes you" I asked them how is it obvious.. and they replied by her actions. So I'm willing to risk my friendship with her since like mindh4X0rz said: I'll always wonder whether she liked me or not.

[This message has been edited by asma123 (edited 01-26-2007).]

How helpful a friend is she?

If it wouldn't be that big a loss then go for it.

Haha, just cause your friends think your in, doesn't mean your in.

That's happened to me one to many times.

Fuck being friends!

I have enough 'friends', so I just act like a dick to most new girls I meet. It tends to work for me.

On one hand, girlfriends come and go. Friends will be around a lot longer. But, if you really like her and everything, it will kill you not knowing. I wouldn't recommend straight up asking her though. Bad idea.

Instead, start dropping subtle hints and do little things to see how she reacts. That's what I would have done if I thought about it before.

Last year I was in the same sort pf situation. I was friends with this girl for a few years. Then after we gave it a shot, things just got really awkward. After a while, we started talking again. Then, earlier this year we hung out and after we both talked a while and ended up saying how we still had feeling for each other, we gave it another chance. Guess what? It blew up in my face. It just wasn't meant to be. Luckily though, we are still friends. But, I'm sure this isn't a normal situation.

quote:Originally posted by PossesedSmurf:

"Do you have an answer?"

"Yeah, I do"

"And it is..."

"It's a no, because it'd be too wierd"

"Heh, alright"

Add a "Fuck This Shit" and its the story of my life.



^^^Tip: Don't Go For it. You'll only hurt yourself

quote:Originally posted by VladimirIllyichLenin:

Once you get rejected, you'll feel a shooting pain inside of you every time you decide to tag along, or even worse when she gets a boyfriend who will most likely be much better looking, richer, or more of an asshole than you. Youll say to yourself "this guy is everything she doesn't see in me", buy a bottle of wild turkey, sit on your bathroom seat and blow your brains out.Yep. Sans suicide.

(12:33 AM) me: but i dont know she just said something weird

(12:34 AM) other friend: weird as in hinting at something?

(12:34 AM) me: yeah sorta

(12:34 AM) me: i was asking her about the ppl that were going to her bday n she said

(12:34 AM) me: Chick I like says:

hah apparently ur the better looking onel ol

(12:35 AM) other friend: Maybe she likes you, maybe she doesnt

(12:35 AM) other friend: Im still rooting for you though

(12:37 AM) other friend: And just becuase I really think she likes you doesnt necessarily mean she does...

(12:37 AM) me: u think she does?

(12:39 AM) other friend: really really, She flirts with you all the time, I'm like 100% percent sure thats why she bugged you and I about my decision to hit on you ... because she likes you and she was a bit jealous and she was either trying to prove that she doesnt like you because she's unsure if you like her back.. or to keep making sure that you really didnt like me, so I would steal you away

(12:39 AM) other friend: *wouldn't steal you away

(12:40 AM) other friend: That's my honest opinion

Flirting means nothing, and stop telling all your friends that you like her. Makes you look lame, when she finds out, and she will.

Fucking man up, and either decide to tell her or don't. I personally would, regret is the only feeling I have that actually makes me feel like crap.

quote:Originally posted by asma123:

Um, we are both 17 but her b-day is gonna be in about 3 days. and we talk everyday on msn txt msg and at school. So we talk at least for a few hrs per day.

That's pretty much my situation..but we will never date

†Jesus†

fuck, look at you losers... You won't loose her and if you do it's not the end of the world...

Just get drunk and get on to her... Friends do that ALL the time...

It'll start to happen again and again, go with it. Go with it, Until she brings up the topic "Every time we're out, we get on to each other. How do YOU feel about it???"...

Then you drop the bomb...

Girls are only human, they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings... Take advice from me, I was 17 once, and that's exactly how I got my girl...

don't do it. Simple as.

I think you shouldn't ask her out.

Because porn is free and your hand doesn't talk forever just gets the job done.

First of all, do you honestly see you two being together?

Sometimes that huge risk really pays off, I really admire my girlfriend. We were great friends, she was the person who I'd tell anything and everything and vice versa, perhaps not the greatest friends of all time (for a small while), but then yeah. She told me her true feelings towards me, told me how long she had liked me etc etc. Thats all you need to know.

But, 6/7 months later... This has been the best relationship I have ever been in. So, I think you should tell her your true feelings and if she doesn't take it so well, you can always explain to her that you didn't want it to get between your friendship or something. But I dont know, you need to think to yourself about her expected reaction.

Edit: My advice is to go for it, if she's understanding enough there is nothing to lose and everything to gain.

[This message has been edited by Mindless Xyzzyean (edited 01-27-2007).]

My advice is not to tell her, wait till your both drunk and make a move, then if it fails you can giggle and say "What's going on?"

I am a PUA. Look at her a little longer than usual and tell me her response. I'll guide from tehre on.

- Gandhi

quote:Originally posted by Aseren:

Flirting means nothing, and stop telling all your friends that you like her. Makes you look lame, when she finds out, and she will.

Fucking man up, and either decide to tell her or don't. I personally would, regret is the only feeling I have that actually makes me feel like crap.

Fuck that, tell some close friends. It is always better to be able to just talk to one or two people about something, especially when you trust them explicitly.

ok ok I have a best friend who is literally the female version of me. She told me I was her soul mate and blah blah blah. But now to the point say if something bad where to happen between you two could you risk loosing her as a Girlfriend + Friend? Also does she hint at all if she likes you for more then a friend? Also has to be considered about this. Also if she finds all this out will she be weird around you again or what not. I dunno Girls are weird.

owned.

quote:Originally posted by Mahatma Gandhi:

I am a PUA. Look at her a little longer than usual and tell me her response. I'll guide from tehre on.

- Gandhi

Only quoting because I wanna see your PUA advice.

Look her in the eyes. Keep it strong but not intimidating. If she looks away at the sides, don't even think of it. If she looks down, you could do something about it. I wanna hear from that guy.

quote:Originally posted by Mahatma Gandhi:

Look her in the eyes. Keep it strong but not intimidating. If she looks away at the sides, don't even think of it. If she looks down, you could do something about it. I wanna hear from that guy.

lol k this happens to us all the time. She usually tries to look straight and same with me but in the end we always end up looking down at our shoes or pants lol... so what u think?

Man just tell her. If it don't go the way you want just get drunk.

[This message has been edited by 84SS (edited 01-28-2007).]