 Birthday Blunders..
Before I start, if you're a mindset of CarbonB (who I'm starting to respect for some reason) etc, you're probably not gonna have any time for this series of minor misadventures.
Well last Saturday was my birthday, I turned the big two-oh. I pretty much had a 4 day bender, as a friend from back home was coming to stay with me in Lancs.
All in all I had a good time, but there were a few mishaps that happened along the way when I was trying to pick up, nothing serious, some of it down to drinking too much I'm sure, some of it just reacting to the moment poorly.
Lets start Wednesday.
Wednesday night is a big night for students in Lancaster usually, everyone ends up going to the same club. Now, most of the time I was chugging Magners (without ice!) like a champion, but there were a few times I tried chatting to girls towards the end of the night.
One I kind of know, here's a picture because she's fine: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/ZeroMalarki/helenwhoIthinkwantsme.jpg
I sort of know her and sometimes she seems receptive, other times not. I keep seeing her smile at me, one night I kept glancing at her in a bar and she seemed to be giving me longing stares, whether that was just me or not I don't know.
So I go up to her and go as we're dancing "Have you ever thought of yourself as snooty?" "No.. why?" "You always have this distant look about you, like you're pre-concerned with other things." "That's true." "What essay are you doing? Forget about it"
Where the fuck did my drunk mind get any of this, it's the most retarded conversation one can have.
Later that night, I'm chatting to this hot Scottish chick, it's almost time to go and everything seems to be going well, I get her number and it's now or never time, I lean in to try and kiss her. She.. leans away. I try to hide my embarassment, sort of smile stiffly and say "See you around.." and dander off to the exit thinking.. "I am such a twat.."
Well we didn't go out on Thursday to town, we just drank our way around campus. Friday however, we're out on the piss in town again.
Me and my friends spy this girl who seems pretty hot, but I'm the only one with the beers (not balls, or bravery, just drunkenness)and I dander up to her and go "Hey, you mind me asking you a question?" "Go on" "My friends and I were playing this game trying to guess your age, and one guy said seventeen, the other said sixteen, so what age are you?" "Nineteen.." A look of disgust showed on her face, so I made tracks ended up pulling this cute but older (26) Indian chick, kiss and get her number, txt her now and again.
Saturday night.. the acutal birthday and the source of the strongest blunder.
I'm at the bar and I spy this really hot girl of a brown complexion (I'm a sucker for girls like this).
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/ZeroMalarki/sanam.jpg
I start a conversation out of no where (prod fun at her bag for being seemingly impractical). And we're chatting away! We're doing the same subject, we're the same age, she's from Dubai a place I really want to go to, possibly teach in. We're both full of energy in this conversation and I do my time old "I'm just gonna go look for someone" trick.
Which is a good plan imo because the girl doesn't spend the whole time chatting to you and your absence makes you more interesting when you go to speak to her again.
I go back, and we're chatting again she goes "Do you want to do shots?" "Sure.. you're paying right?" "Of course!"
So we go up and do shots, she says "It's a girly shot, but it goes down easy which is a good thing" at this point I could have replied "Sounds like the perfect woman", instead I go "Nah, I like a shot of strong whiskey, the type of stuff that burns in your chest." "You're so Irish! Want to go dance?" "Sure" "You're going to say yes to everything I suggest aren't you?" "Depends on what else you're gonna offer." She laughs.
So we dance for a bit, I introduce her to a friend, she introduces me to one of hers and she explains she has to go off with friends for a little while and doesn't return. She dissapears and I don't see her again.
Thankfully I got chatting to this severely hot English/French girl but I doubt I have a chance on that one, she was probably just being friendly.
We went to another club and I pulled a girl who was maybe only 6/10, more or less solely for target practice.
I went home and looked that girl up online. Sent her a simple "how are you style message", no reply. Some reason, when I'm smoked up to high heaven, I sent a totally stupid message and having drank many many beers here's a picture of me on that night..
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v321/ZeroMalarki/Picture008.jpg
I'm the guy on the bed with a traffic cone as a boner.
The message reads:
See, I'm on a bit of some magic cigarette and some Castlemaine XXXX and I was wondering, did you drun away on on Saturday, cos it kinda seemed it. If you thought I was cool, press 1 now. If not, let him no by dialling I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN, followed by the Star sign.
From now on, I should not be allowed to use the internet whilst under the influence of pot.
That girl, to me was one of the hottest girls I'd met, or at least of those, the one who clicked with me best. I've had beautiful girls, but usually they're not as fun or intelligent as that.
Basically, I knew my chances were over when she didn't respond to the first message, then I had to lower my own dignity..
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2007-01-25, 13:27
