Firstly, hai2u S&A, this would be my first post in your forum, I don't really know how things work around here so I'll just get on with it.

Ok well I've been with my girlfriend for just under a year now, so it's not just like a little thing.

I'm not gonna go into how things got like this, just because I'm tired and it's a huge long story anyway, but basically we are semi split up. We have talked and talked on the phone and in person since last Thursday when things started going wrong, and the current status between us is "just friends for a while, maybe like a week, while she has some time on her own to decide what she wants".

I can see how I've been a dick to her, through arguments etc, but nowhere near bad enough to justify her breaking up with me over it.

Now I love her to bits, I couldn't imagine not being with her, so this is my question:

Can you guys give me any advice or tips on how I should/shouldn't be in this next week, to maximize my chances of getting her to want to be with me again? I know that I can change, and I know that if she gives me the chance, we can make things right again. But I need to persuade her to give me that chance. Any ideas?



~wAste!



[Edit - I'm a grammar freak]

[This message has been edited by wAste (edited 01-22-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by wAste:

I know that I can change, and I know that if she gives me the chance, we can make things right again.

Have you tried telling her this?

well you sure thats shes not fucking around with you and trying to dump you because she has stopped caring about you ect? Also you fight thats actually very healthy. To me fighting and arguments occasionally show that you care enough about the person to have a small fight or whatever over it. If she was met to be things well work them selfs out and she will understand and give you another chance.

quote:Originally posted by wAste:

I know that I can change, and I know that if she gives me the chance, we can make things right again. But I need to persuade her to give me that chance. Any ideas?



~wAste!



[Edit - I'm a grammar freak]



Isn't this what woman abusers say? 'I can change baby! I swear! I wont every punch you in the uterus again! *Punches her in the uterus* Alright! That just slipped! I swear, I'm a changed man!'.

If you think you've been a dick to her, then hopefully she runs for a man who can treat her right. A man should ALWAYS treat his woman like gold (Respect is a key factor in a relationship, and without it, it's doomed from the start). Now, that's not saying let them always get their way, or being whipped by them, but seriously, treat them right. If you truely loved her, then you wouldn't be thinking you were a dick to her.

Sick_Boy -

Yeah, I've told her that, it seems like she's just unsure of whether to believe me or not. It shouldn't even be that big of a deal, I just made a few mistakes, nothing major. I have never cheated on her once, I have never given her a real reason to want to end things with me.

Tesla -

It really does feel like she's just messing me around, but I don't think she would do that to me. Like I said I've been talking to her a lot, like hours and hours and hours, and she just confuses me. Unless anyone can explain what she means by "I do want to be with you, I couldn't possibly not be!", closely followed by "I'm just not sure what I want right now, I need time to think and decide".



That is pretty much why I'm asking here, I hate having to wait for an answer, but it looks like I'm gonna have to, so I might as as well try to make a good impression while I still can. I have around about a week I think, what should/shouldn't I be doing/saying?

Forgive my inexperience, she is (or was ) my first real girlfriend, well - my first real love anyway. Before her I just used to fuck whatever slutty girls I could, and had done for years, but then she came along and liked me for who I am, not for my cock

I just really don't wanna lose her

Help me totse!!

~wAste!

Mabas -

Woah . . .

I have never once laid a finger on her, I never have and never would hit a woman, especially not the one I love.

I'll go into more detail, we never really argue about anything serious, it's just how we deal with it when we disagree about something that causes the problems. I just go all quiet and shut up, I bottle things up and let them out later. She, like a lot of women, cant possibly shut the fuck up for 1 second when shes mad . She will go on and on and on and on and on for hours, right in my ear, about the stupidest little things.

It's this that we need to change, not anything like you've suggested.

When I say "I know I've been a dick", I just mean I've been thinking "maybe if I had paid more attention, or maybe if I had talked to her more instead of just going quiet, maybe all this shit wouldn't be happening now".

~wAste!

Well, I don't think there's really anything you can do, aside from letting her know that you care about her and don't want things to end. And since it seems that you have done this, it's really in her hands now. Good luck!

quote:Originally posted by wAste:

Mabas -

Woah . . .

I have never once laid a finger on her, I never have and never would hit a woman, especially not the one I love.

I'll go into more detail, we never really argue about anything serious, it's just how we deal with it when we disagree about something that causes the problems. I just go all quiet and shut up, I bottle things up and let them out later. She, like a lot of women, cant possibly shut the fuck up for 1 second when shes mad . She will go on and on and on and on and on for hours, right in my ear, about the stupidest little things.

It's this that we need to change, not anything like you've suggested.

When I say "I know I've been a dick", I just mean I've been thinking "maybe if I had paid more attention, or maybe if I had talked to her more instead of just going quiet, maybe all this shit wouldn't be happening now".

~wAste!

I didn't actually accuse you of beating her, or any other woman. It just panged off a little alert in the back of my head, because that IS what people in those situations say. 9 times out of 10, when someone promises to change, they never actually do. Anyways, shutting down isn't that bad. My girlfriend and I 'aruge', but we both call it a debate, or a meeting of the minds. We just ping our opinions back and forth. But whenever I DO get a little 'testy', I just shut right down. She can read it now... Wow, sometimes I'M a dick... Perhaps I should stop doing that, unless I'm really angry... Waste! You have made me find the errors of my ways, and by the Winds of Fate (Yeah yeah, bite me. My life, my own little religion), I shall change!... Or atleast attempt to...