hey all, i've been going out with this great girl for a few weeks now, she's the first chick i've gone all the way with so i'm not exactly experienced when it comes to all this so i'm after some opinions.

Anyway, so we've been fooling around in the back seat of the car a few times now, i gets pretty "hectic", the clothes come off, she seems to be enjoying herself, then she all of a sudden just wants to stop. Like, i'll have a couple of fingers in, she really seems to be having a good time with it, then she'll put her hands down and tell me to stop.

Now i'm getting really confused here and i've sorta pushed it a bit trying to get out of her what's wrong, but all she'll say is along the lines of "no it's really not you u'r doing great, i just don't know what it is i want to stop". I've asked her a few times, tried to get her to talk to her about it, and while i rekon she might be holding something back, i think i can tell when she's lying and i don't THINK she is lying about not knowing why.

Anyway we've gone all the way 5 times now, but every time neither of us has got off yet. This is somewhat related, she's what you would typically describe as 'short' while I'm 6"1, so she doesn't quite come up to my shoulder. I dunno if it's just my inexperience, but i've found that that's made our selection of positions pretty limited. Tried and failed with "doggy", i remember thinking i wish i could chop my legs off above the knees to get a bit lower, it just wouldn't happen from that angle.

All i'm really left with and what she seems to mostly want is her lying down and me push up style over her. Thing is, while i'm not weak there's only so long i can keep that up before my arms give out. So 5 minutes in, she really seems to be enjoying herself, i just can't physically hold myself up any longer. I try to work out something more comfortable and wham she's had enough!

Her on top is good, but i guess she's a bit lazy and doesn't like to keep that up for too long

Is it meant to be this difficult? Do you have to have the shoulders of a bull to go the distance? any opinions or advice would be greatly appreciated, sorry if this has got a bit long to read

your rushing things.

If you think its frustrating now, wait until 6 months from now. When you're still the one doing ALL of the work in bed, and on top of that she doesnt even get off.

You have my sympathy, brother.

How about asking her.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

If you think its frustrating now, wait until 6 months from now. When you're still the one doing ALL of the work in bed, and on top of that she doesnt even get off.

You have my sympathy, brother.

If you're doing ALL the work and she's literally just lying there that's probably partly why you're not get anywhere. Can't expect to just lie there and orgasm every 5 seconds.

quote:Originally posted by prost8:



Her on top is good, but i guess she's a bit lazy and doesn't like to keep that up for too long

Sure you're not going into it too quick? Like, instead of just poundin' it be more gentle and a bit slower, might find you've saved a bit of energy. Or you're just lazy, lol.

First off its missionary not "push up" style. Secondly, my god, you dont have to lay there in the pushup position. If your arms are doing nothing but holding yourself up, your failing at the best thing in life.

Lay on top of her, make her hair messy, cup her cheeks in your hands and kiss her, just dont sit there and do nothing but go in and out.



Second, when she tells you to stop while your fingering her:

1.You have too many fingers in her. Contrary to popular belief, two fingers isnt the standard. If she can handle it fine, If not use one. My girl cant handle two, so I use one and she gets off like crazy.

2.She feels the sensation of an orgasm and cant handle it. Alot of inexperienced girls have to be "taught" how to have an orgasm before they can handle it through intercourse/foreplay. Chances are it starts to feel too good for her, and thats when she wants you to stop.

Since your new, ill give you the best advice. Research the clit, find it on your girl, and experiment with it. This girl will be gone eventually, you wont marry her. Use her to learn how to be the best fuck possible. Youll thank yourself later in life, trust me.

Also, for the doggie style, perhaps you could have her on a bed or something of that nature while you're standing up? I would think you'd be able to find a good surface at the right height.

thanks for all the advice guys, has really helped. Only reason she stopped this time was when she got a message on her phone... smallest thing and it's game over, but yea we'll get there

just relax ---jeesh men are animals.

shes not ready.. give her time.

Make her turn off her phone, or at least put it to silent.

Sometimes it just doesn't happen so easily. It's nothing personal to do with you or her, really. My ex-boyfriend told me he had been with 7 girls (or 8..I can't remember) and had only actually gotten off with 2 or 3 of them. Another female friend of mine told me that she didn't have any orgasm until she was in her 20's, and she had been with the same guy since she was 16.

So you see, orgasms are no easy trick. I just suggest that you keep at, (That sounds like really weird advice to give, but anyway..) and don't be too rough on yourself. All this doesn't imply that you're bad at anything..not at all..girls just can't get off all the time, and I say that from experience.

Foreplay. Lots of it. Then sex.

hit puberty and everything will be fine

quote:Originally posted by prost8:

thanks for all the advice guys, has really helped. Only reason she stopped this time was when she got a message on her phone... smallest thing and it's game over, but yea we'll get there

If your girl stops for a message on her phone it's time to find a new lover.

don't do 'push up' position. girls like it when they can feel your weight on them (not all though, maybe go on your fore arms?) they like it when both of your bodies are rubbing against each other.

Last girl I was with, was boring as fuck. Didn't like being on top. Didn't like doing the work. Bitched about not getting off, etc. etc.

I didn't get off with her very frequently. I just honestly, didn't enjoy sex with her that much.

So near the end of that three year relationship for about 3 months I didn't fuck her, or even really ever touch her. She'd make advances, because I guess it just built up. First spark of sexual emotion I saw out of her since the beginning.

Then she bitched at me for not wanting to have sex, and I said "well, personally I don't like fucking someone who's going to make me feel like shit afterwords, and say that's all I use her for."

Etc. etc.

The girl I'm with now loves having sex withme. I see her, she jumps me, tells her friends, and mine we need to run back to my appt. or her dorm room to get something we forgot(or some other bullshit story, and proceeds to rip my clothes off.

Always up for trying new things, likes my body, I love hers. I broke a condom last time, and I put a new one on, and we were standing, and just kissing and groping each other ect. ect.

The point of this is, she enjoys sex. She gets off. I can get her off more than 75 percent of the time. She still enjoys it when I can't, and I love her for it.

I have a problem getting off, but it's beter than being 2 miniute tim. And mine is more likely due to the smoking and high alcohol consumption.

Basicly, I assume you're still young? You have to ease into things, get to know the person. Get to know what she likes, how to do things right. etc. etc.

She also sounds like she's really shitty at communicating. Relay the fact to her, if she wants something done, she has to tell you. Tell you what's wrong, what's right, what to do, what not. You're a guy, we're not all that fucking bright some times.

quote:Originally posted by acid_drop:

Last girl I was with....

I found your story both inspirational and uplifting.

You have to train her and get her to the point that orgasm is a OK thing to have. She's really frightened for some reason about you seeing her orgasm.

Good luck figuring why.

Give it time and don't get frustrated with her, don't even hint that you are frustrated with her because then it'll make it worse and you will have the possibility of breaking up with her. Be supportive about it. Possibly suggest some other way that you guys can get off.

Like you masturbating in front of her, see if she likes that. Or just go to kissing and foreplay if she will let you.



It could be possible that she was raped once and while you are having sex with her, she will forget about it at first then a flashback might happen. Which happens a lot among women that were raped.

If you really love her, you will give her time to get used to and get over the problem she has. It wouldn't hurt for you to ask her if she wants to go see a psychologist about this.



Good luck

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

I found your story both inspirational and uplifting.

Snide remarks and sarcasm... I love it.

quote:Originally posted by acid_drop:

Snide remarks and sarcasm... I love it.



No, that bit was actually serious.