Okay, so I was just thinking I do some pretty weird shit in my sleep. Then I thought about what my ex would have had to deal with, creepy.

Like most recently I was sleeping at a friends house. I woke up, sat up and screamed "WHERE'S SPYRO?" Then I kind of head dived into the bed, and layed there resting on my head and knees only to fall over sideways. I didn't wake once.

Same persons house, another time: I plunged my face down into their couch and said "Man, that bitch was hot, I'd hit it".

Another time I was sleeping with a girl and my mate, I sat up and screamed at the top of my lungs "DEAD END, IT'S A FUCKING DEAD END. OH MY FUCKING GOD" then just layed back down and went to sleep.

A while back I started saying to my ex in a frantic voice "I can't be late for the bus, I have to get on the bus! Where do I get a ticket?". Same night, I said "I want your good bits, YOUR GOOD BITS I SAID" then I grabbed her tit, fingered her for a second, then reached around and gave her ass a firm grab. Then I rolled over and put my back to her.

And on a regular basis I go "brbrbrbr" like the noise you make when you're cold.

Girls of totse, would it terrify you to sleep next to me?

Kind of realising I'm a freak (p.s. why the fuck am I doing these things and how do I stop? Pretty sure it affects my relationships)

*edit*

I did these all in my sleep and didn't wake for a single second. Only way I know is because people tell me. I can't even begin to imagine what I do when people aren't around.

Oh, and I constantly awake to the sound of me laughing. I LAUGH IN MY SLEEP.

[This message has been edited by arquin (edited 01-19-2007).]

Yes, but at least you don't snore.

Ahaha, you sound awesome.

The screaming would probably scare me shitless momentarily, but at least it'd give me a good laugh in the middle of the night.

It might be good for you to warn girls you're sleeping with that you're a crazy sleeper though.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Like most recently I was sleeping at a friends house. I woke up, sat up and screamed "WHERE'S SPYRO?" Then I kind of head dived into the bed, and layed there resting on my head and knees only to fall over sideways. I didn't wake once.

...Hmmm yeah it was weird.. and when u sat up and face dived into the matress with your back end raised up high i almost thought you were touching yourself for a moment.. but nope ... thats just my mind in the gutter again lol.

*It was awesome*



[This message has been edited by shiva (edited 01-19-2007).]

Had I a coffee or soda, I'd need a new laptop!

I do that kind of shit when I'm drunk. I was at a friends house once, sitting on his bed against the wall, and said "Man, you gotta take the fuckin brakes off.. Psh, I mean, fuck.." and then nodded off again.

I knew a guy in boot camp that sat up, yelled out "Petty Officer, my fifth general order is to never quit my post unless properly relieved, Petty Officer!" and just fell over asleep again.

Every once in a while I'll snore -extremely- loud, like I'm choking on my tongue, or something else weird.

quote:Originally posted by Soda_Can_Sniper:

I do that kind of shit when I'm drunk. I was at a friends house once, sitting on his bed against the wall, and said "Man, you gotta take the fuckin brakes off.. Psh, I mean, fuck.." and then nodded off again.

I knew a guy in boot camp that sat up, yelled out "Petty Officer, my fifth general order is to never quit my post unless properly relieved, Petty Officer!" and just fell over asleep again.

Two most random statements ever, I lol'd.

I've told you on msn this, but I think I'll post it here for the benefit of the peoples.

I was sleeping on someone's couch at a party, there was this fat ugly crazy bitch sleeping sitting up beside her boyfriend on a couch a few metres away. I wake up at about 4.30 in the morning and she had these night terrors.. wierd shivering wailing,

and I thought she was crying or something looking for attention.

I'm seeing all these people try to help her and I blurt out

"THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU"

Someone then asked "Does anyone have a good taxi number?", I reply "Yeah 0800 Ghostbusters"

Last thing I said was "seriously, could someone just hit her with a fucking shovel".

Appparently it happens a lot and her boyfriend has a special wooden stick for poking her with when it happens.

The next day, I figured out her problem.

She's a weretard.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OMG ^

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Like most recently I was sleeping at a friends house. I woke up, sat up and screamed "WHERE'S SPYRO?" Then I kind of head dived into the bed, and layed there resting on my head and knees only to fall over sideways. I didn't wake once.

I laughed my fucking ass off, gotta have played spyro to really understand the head dive thing

Anyway warn any girls you're going to be sleeping with, then they will understand.

Might get a bit annoying if you're sleeping together every night though.

dude, i so want to party with you.

Oh my god you sound like the most entertaining sleeper ever! I wish I knew someone who did that stuff. That would be hilarious. IF she's a prude she'll hate you for it but any down to earth girl would be fine. Bit freaked out but as long as you tell 'em there's not a real issue.

I LOLed so hard at this thread, that i farted.

I would find it very amusing, but I'm a light sleeper..

Haha, that's hilarious, but I'd probably start beating the crap out of you for waking me up/scaring the hell out of me. I'm super paranoid when I sleep, like last night I thought I heard an evil laugh and I still don't know what it was, so I need complete silence and happy thoughts.

Just warn girls first. So they don't kill you.

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

I'm super paranoid when I sleep, like last night I thought I heard an evil laugh and I still don't know what it was, so I need complete silence and happy thoughts.

I'll feel compelled to suddenly turn the light on and walk all around my room, checking to make sure that no one's there. Usually because I'll hear some unidentified sound, but sometimes I just... have to. Before I sleep I have to read a happy book, or I just can't. I guess I'm afraid of unhappy thoughts. I also have to check the closets and underneath my bed. When actually in bed, I'll sometimes suddenly slap or pinch myself because I think I feel a spider.

I'm pretty paranoid too.

Ah that would freak me out a bit I reckon.

When people fall asleep, their body voluntarily jerks as it relaxes.

That weirds me out enough.

So .. yeah. If my boyfriend started screaming in his sleep, I'd be terrified hahah.

Just warn girls that you're going to sleep with.

As long as you give them a heads up, then it shouldn't be an issue.

I used to talk and laugh in my sleep alot. I don't think I do it much anymore, but my boyfriend says I always make sex noises when I sleep. Which is kind of embarassing, lol.

quote:Originally posted by deathtojack:

Yes, but at least you don't snore.

Snoring is worse than your problem. If my partner talked in their sleep like that, I'd just laugh and go back to sleep. Snoring makes me shove/pinch/hit them until they stop.



A friend of mine was snoring to the tune of Jaws. It was hilarious.

[This message has been edited by Astr0cide (edited 01-19-2007).]

I'm a guy, and I would sleep with you just for the lulz. Not at all in a gay way...

I used to get in to fights with my ex finace while I slept.

Once I even got up in the middle of one of these fights and piss on her floor. I was asleep/drunk.

quote:Originally posted by deathtojack:

Yes, but at least you don't snore.

i sleep walk and clean my room in my sleep

My husband talks and laughs in his sleep. He'll also start humping me and moaning sometimes, like if I'm sleeping with my back to him.

quote:"I want your good bits, YOUR GOOD BITS I SAID"

I lol'd hard

I talk in my sleep sometimes, but my roommate thinks it's hilarious. I'm also scared what would happen if I do it when sleeping with a woman. Luckily that hasn't yet (the talking part, not the sleeping)

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

He'll also start humping me and moaning sometimes, like if I'm sleeping with my back to him.

I bet he's awake.

You sound hilarious, I'd definitely sleep next to you just for the random interludes of hilarity. On that note, my boyfriend grinds his teeth and intermitently talks in his sleep. The talk is cute, the teeth grinding is a little trying. But then again, I also say the randomist shit when I'm dead asleep.

quote:Originally posted by Toothlessjoe:

Ahaha, you sound awesome.

In my sleep, I kicked a girl out of my bed. Literally. She wasn't best pleased.

Now that's pretty bad...

At least you don't beat people and kick them off the bed.



I do that. I like to have my whole bed for myself.

You should set up a camera, and film yourself sleeping

I shout out random numbers in my sleep... well whoever has heard me tells me they say it was random numbers but I'm trying to piece together the numbers so I can work out if its pi or phi both of which I a very fond of

quote:Originally posted by ROFLwaffles:

You should set up a camera, and film yourself sleeping

I'm very much considering it.

bahahaha. actually i find it quite hilarious. the first night it might weird me out a little, but as i got used to the guy i think i'd probably just end up finding it endearing. i mean, good bits? brbrbr? i'm sorry, but that's just plain funny. my boyfriend does weird things in his sleep and i either find it amusing or use it as an excuse to toy with his semi-conscious mind.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:



Oh, and I constantly awake to the sound of me laughing. I LAUGH IN MY SLEEP.



ive been told i do that too.

fuck, i cant read this thread any more... ill wake up the room mate with my laughter.

I was crashing at a christmas party once and my sister said i was shouting "I'll have some country wiiiiiiiine" in my sleep.

Everyone does crazy shit, sleep wth a few different girls and you'll understand.

My dad has funny conversations in his sleep.

"I'd like to talk to the manager here... so wat you're saying is, Mr Restaurant owner, is that you're too lazy to get up off your fat arse!"

(sung) "I've been everywhere man!"

"John, stop swinging on the fucking gate!"

"And it was the worst cup of coffee I've ever had, tasted like itwas made from dishwater"

"Don't let that fuckin' coon drive the crane, he'll fuck it up!"

"Yep, just put the crane up over there... left abit... bit more... NO! YOU FUCKED IT UP!"

My dad gets into screams in his sleep.

quote:Originally posted by EssJay:

My dad has funny conversations in his sleep.

"I'd like to talk to the manager here... so wat you're saying is, Mr Restaurant owner, is that you're too lazy to get up off your fat arse!"

(sung) "I've been everywhere man!"

"John, stop swinging on the fucking gate!"

"And it was the worst cup of coffee I've ever had, tasted like itwas made from dishwater"

"Don't let that fuckin' coon drive the crane, he'll fuck it up!"

"Yep, just put the crane up over there... left abit... bit more... NO! YOU FUCKED IT UP!"

My dad gets into screams in his sleep.

Your dad sounds like a champ.

So basically, the general response is: warn girls first, and all will be sweet?

More or less.

(On a canoeing weekend) "MATTHEW PADDLE FORWARDS, LUKE PADDLE BACKWARDS!"

"The homosexuals are attacking..."

Once me and 4 of my friends took an 8 man tent camping, 3 in one compartment, me and another guy in the other. 06:00 the next morning, I wake up, and I'm kicking my friend in the head, and he's not even waking...

My ex was passed out in the passenger seat of a full car on the way back from clubbing.

She screamed something incoherent and slammed the guys car into reverse while going 100km/h completely and utterly anniahalating his auto. She didn't even wake up.

Fuck people do weird shit in their sleep.

quote:Originally posted by Garrett:

I was crashing at a christmas party once and my sister said i was shouting "I'll have some country wiiiiiiiine" in my sleep.

Everyone does crazy shit, sleep wth a few different girls and you'll understand.

You slept with your sister?

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Oh, and I constantly awake to the sound of me laughing. I LAUGH IN MY SLEEP.

Same here lol.

Sweet jesus, you sound like the greatest sleeper ever.

I'd probably end up moving the to the couch eventually, but not before laughing my ass off.

I wouldn't be creeped out.

I'd probably video tape you.

My ex woke me up in the middle of the night groping me for about 10 seconds. She had no memory of it lol.

One time I asked (sounding pissed off) "who broke the window?" in my sleep. I was having a dream that someone smashed the front windscreen on my car.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

[B]

"WHERE'S SPYRO?" Then I kind of head dived into the bed, and layed there resting on my head and knees only to fall over sideways. I didn't wake once.

"DEAD END, IT'S A FUCKING DEAD END. OH MY FUCKING GOD" then just layed back down and went to sleep.

[B]

Seriously, that is funny shit, i lauhged so much at the dead end bit. I'd love to sleep with you even though im a guy, just becasue it would be an intense night

this thread delivers.

i grind my teeth in my sleep and sometimes i say crazy shit.

I've said, 'no. just wash me on this side' in my sleep and i once fell asleep on the couch while my whole family was watching TV. anyway, i sat up dead straight on the couch with my eyes wide open, pointed at the mirror and screamed, 'YOU'RE SHANE WARNE!'

oh, i also ate a Vietnamese meat roll once and fell asleep. i kept waking up and hallucinating. all i remember is that a giant beetle kept attacking me. i was up against the wall yelling at it. also, my mum said i was lying on the ground when i brought my legs over my shoulder and stood up in one action. my eyes opened and they were completely bloodshot. my sister was infront of me and i just screamed. seriously, i screamed for about 20 seconds like 'argh! argh! argh!' at the top of my lungs about an inch from her face. then i twisted my body around and fell back on the ground.

this was one big episode.

Once when I was sleeping I suddenly sat up and punched myself in the face

Another story about people talking in my sleep is whenever I was 10, on holiday in Majorca.

My mother and myself and two of her female friends and their kids went on holiday. One of the kids had a dream that he was being surrounded by IRA people trying to kill them and he ended up saying in his sleep

"I'll wring your fucking neck scumbag."

His sister, who was sleeping in the same room was terrified of him, thinking he was talking to her.

Apparently, I talked in my sleep on that holiday as well. One night proudly declaring "NUMBER ONE!"

I musta been presenting a quiz show or something in my sleep.

I have real difficulty sleeping. I like my sleep. I need my sleep. The fact that I find it hard to get to sleep or find time to sleep would mean that if I'd just managed to drift off and you woke me by screaming or giggling... I'd probably smother you to death with a pillow.Then go back to sleep.



I get very nasty if I dont get my 4 hours a day.

WOW! thats some funny shit man, i wouldnt worry bout it! if ur girls got any sense of humour she wont give a shit, but id go see a sleep councellor just in case!

i blame drugs.

This thread totally delivers, puh-leeeze video tape yourself and put it on totse!

I have urinated in the laundry/bathroom/kitchen/hallway while asleep a few times but I've never said anything stupid.

[This message has been edited by tricky (edited 01-22-2007).]

I've also woken up in the shower with no recollection of how I got there. (This happened 4 times during the night 4am)

quote:Originally posted by tricky:

I've also woken up in the shower with no recollection of how I got there. (This happened 4 times during the night 4am)



Yeah I think the answer to that one might be alcohol related.

Archive!

When I was at this institute for anger management and depressed and psycotic people, my roomate Jeb talked in his sleep. They said it was his medication, he was there for anger management, but he would say shit like

"Who is Bob the builder?"

Over and over throughout the night.

Worst week of my life, but It made me laugh.

I've never sleep walked in my life, as some people do, but I have done the teeth grinding. It fucking sucks. Even worse for my teeth is sleep eating.

Like last night, I ate a fucking SHITLOAD of Haribo gummy lollies in my sleep. It's cool now, but it sucked when I first started sleep eating.

I'd have like a 10 pack of funsize Milo bars next to my bed. I'd wake up and they'd all gone. Then I'd walk around my house aggressivly accusing people of eating my food telling them to fuck off and buy their own shit.

Then when I went to bed at night, and find 10 milo wrappers under my pillow.

I also tickle my self in my sleep. I raise my arm, point it directly at the roof, then tickle it with the other (Not sure if I'd mentioned this yet).

Sleep counsiler sounds like a good idea!

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Even worse for my teeth is sleep eating.

Like last night, I ate a fucking SHITLOAD of Haribo gummy lollies in my sleep. It's cool now, but it sucked when I first started sleep eating.

I'd have like a 10 pack of funsize Milo bars next to my bed. I'd wake up and they'd all gone. Then I'd walk around my house aggressivly accusing people of eating my food telling them to fuck off and buy their own shit.

Then when I went to bed at night, and find 10 milo wrappers under my pillow.

I also tickle my self in my sleep. I raise my arm, point it directly at the roof, then tickle it with the other (Not sure if I'd mentioned this yet).

Sleep counsiler sounds like a good idea!

Goddamn.