So I was thinking about myself and my friends and I realised that the only friends I have 3 friends right now, one of which is my sister and the other my boyfriend. So that really only leaves one that counts (my best friend). Oh, and I have one other girlfriend that I hang out with every once in a while. I had two other best friends in highschool (we would spend every day together) but now I hardly ever see or speak to them.

I have lots of other people that I would consider friends, but the thing is that I never see them. Everyone has moved away, is working or going to school so it's almost impossible to see each other anymore.

It just kind of makes me sad that I have quite a few people I've gotten close to, and now we never even have to time to see each other.

It's so much harder to maintain friendships now that I've left school.

Is anyone else dealing with this reality? Do I have to resign myself to the fact that I can only have a couple friends?

It's how you tell who's you're true friends because they ALWAYS keep in touch. From high school I have 4 good friends and we're together all the time, in summer when generally we're all around.

Infact, I live in a different city, where another lives, and the other 3 live in my home town.

I've always had a few select friends but yes there are ones I never hear from now at school and hang out with a couple of times a year.

I almost like it better this way, I like quality over quantity. I have plenty of people I can hang out with, because now I have my own new friends. You just start collecting them along the way, and some become as good friends as you're old school mates.

I have a few really great friends from high school that I keep in touch with via phone and instant messenger while I'm away at college, and hang out with while at home. Likewise, I have a few really great friends from college that I talk to in the same way while I'm at home on breaks.

As kAtE- says, you can definitely tell who your true friends are by the fact that no matter where you are, they always keep in touch with you. There are people who I love hanging out with, both at school and at home, who I rarely if ever speak to when I'm away from them. Those people are friends, but my true friends are the ones who I know I would still talk to as much as humanly possible even if I lived in Nepal.

You're at uni aren't you Sick Boy? Thats the place that you should be concentrating on making friends, because more often than not they are the ones who you will know forever.

I'm always making new friends and neglecting the old ones - Then I go back to them when I'm bored with the new ones and expect them to have the shits cause I talk to them when I please...But they don't cause they are so glad to be associated with me again

Anyhow I need time away from my friends a lot because they wouldn't be my friends if I had to put up with them all the time.

Smoke signals are the primary means of communication here. In Ireland the Internet is still in black and white.

I disagree with kates as usual, umbrella statement.

Mostly emails once or twice a month, occasionally a phone call if something big happened or one of us is exceptionally bored. I am away at uni, and so are they. We try to make plans around the holidays, but it doesn't always work out.

Its just something that you keep open, and when you think about them, you make a point to shoot them a line, even if it is just an email that says "*poke* do you remember me?"

And of course, open house rules. If someone needs a place to stay, no matter what, your flat is open. Trust must be in place so that said visitor will not trash it, but if you dont have that, your not friends.

quote:Originally posted by Twiggy:

You're at uni aren't you Sick Boy? Thats the place that you should be concentrating on making friends, because more often than not they are the ones who you will know forever.

I'm not coming back to this univeristy though, so I don't want to invest too much in friendships right now. I only really have one friend on my floor, but he kinda wants me and I don't think that's fair to my boyfriend...Also, I don't see the point in actually trying to be someone's friend. With all my good friends, we were friends the instant we met, nothing awkward about it. You know when you meet someone and you either could or do stay up all night talking? That's the kind of friend I want.

But kAtE- I guess you're right about quality over quantity...It just makes me sad that there's some people I've gotten so close to and now we never see each other.

I stopped keeping in touch. Since I was born I've never stayed at the same residence longer than two years. After a while it becomes too much of a hassle even making new friends.

Email is good, but I'm not really good friends with any of my contacts. Instead of calling them friends I call them acquaintances. Easier on the heart.

When I went to uni, I kind of lost contact with my friends as well. Then I ended up moving to RI halfway through school, so I really lost contact with everybody. Made some new friends in RI, but none of them were close, and now that I am back in my hometown for the time being, I just casually talk to whoever is around.

I guess it takes work on both ends. If your friends want to put in the effort to see you and you can keep up with them as well, you'll end up staying friends. Generally, though, it seems to be out of sight, out of mind.

I use a mobile?

I don't know what you use?

Sick_Boy how big are your boobs?

quote:Originally posted by deathtojack:

Sick_Boy how big are your boobs?

If that was even remotely relevant, I might consider answering.

I don't.

When I move somewhere, I generally break off all ties with people.

I'm an emotionally unavailable prick, and I never form any real or deep relationships with anyone (platonic or romantic), so I just cut 'em loose and move on.

Steam. Email. Snail Mail.

I don't stay in touch with friends. We've all grown apart.. or, rather, they've all grown apart from me. My only friend now is my wife.

quote:Originally posted by deathtojack:

Sick_Boy how big are your boobs?

Its relevance is that in general there is a basic equation to how girls and boys can be friends

x= size of breasts

y= friendship possibility

its a line something,ike

y<-3x-5

something like that anyway

so spill...

I know this sounds Cliche and kinda stupid, but Myspace works wonders.

I've lived in a tiny 4k person town in Texas for 18 years, was cool with almost everyone in my town, but had a select few better and solid friends. When I graduated I moved to Seattle washington, which is rougly 2500 miles away from my hometown. All my friends made me get a myspace so they could keep in touch with me.

Also my best friend is on my myspace, as well as calls me every other day or so. I just got back from visiting texas and it was like I never left because I knew most of the shit going on there. Not just because of the myspace, but because I have friends that like to give me play by play on what goes on there.

In short, You should try getting a myspace, and getting your friends to get one to keep in touch. Yea, it's like a high school little kids website, but it works.

quote:Originally posted by MJR deus:

Its relevance is that in general there is a basic equation to how girls and boys can be friends

x= size of breasts

y= friendship possibility

its a line something,ike

y<-3x-5

something like that anyway

so spill...

Okay, but only because your post made me giggle. I have 36C boobies. So, is this why it's hard for me to keep in touch with my friends? lol

To the above poster, that's a good idea in theory, but none of my friends use myspace.

Myspace, Facebook, those are both good, or if your friends really don't wanna use those then just use the phone or messengers. Downloading AIM is a lot faster and less involved than making a Myspace.

I talk to people on msn/used to text/call people with my cell. Cell expired so ya. Or I'll just goto a club or bar run into alot of people I know its kinda scary. But ya I have ties to alot of circles I try to keep close friends with all of them. I only have 3 close friends though well they all could considered best friends except one is more like a super best friend then the other too. But of those ones in aussieland for school, ones in the army and the other lives 3 hours from me for school but we tend to talk alot on msn/texting/email/phone enough anyway so its all good.

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:



To the above poster, that's a good idea in theory, but none of my friends use myspace.

Thats why you MAKE them make one. I was forced, shit like 2 diff girls made me sign up then give them PW so they could make it all "pretty".

I don't really have any real life friends anymore. I used to but afterwhile I realized I was the only one making an effort to communicate. If they weren't willing to be involved in a friendship then I didn't care anymore. So I just let it die.

I have very few friends left. My regular group from high school sort of drifted apart, there's only a few of them left, and they're all useless stoner/drunks going nowhere with their lives. I used to still hang out with them once in a while, but lately they've stopped calling me, and didn't answer the phone when I called them, so I just said fuck it.

All I have left is my boyfriend, my best friend from kindergarten who I only see about once a month, and my other best friend who I met in junior high. Otherwise, I occasionally party with some old friends from high school, but meh.

I reeeeally found out who my real friends were. Kind of a kick in the face. My ex-best friend who decided to start smoking crack and doing coke and being a giant slut doesn't call me anymore either. Oh well.

Sickboy we should have an Edmonton meet-up! I know there's a bunch of us... we could go get hammered at Hudson's or something. It'd be hilarious and awkward.

quote:Originally posted by the phantom stranger:

I don't really have any real life friends anymore. I used to but afterwhile I realized I was the only one making an effort to communicate. If they weren't willing to be involved in a friendship then I didn't care anymore. So I just let it die.

Seriously? You know you can't go through your whole life like that, right...

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

Sickboy we should have an Edmonton meet-up! I know there's a bunch of us... we could go get hammered at Hudson's or something. It'd be hilarious and awkward.

I'd be willing if someone else organised it. I tried to organise a Calgary meet up, and only 3 of us showed up, lol.

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

I'd be willing if someone else organised it. I tried to organise a Calgary meet up, and only 3 of us showed up, lol.

quality over quanity.....

quote:Originally posted by NiGhT PrOwLeR:

quality over quanity.....

Yeah, we had a pretty wicked time. I haven't seen my totse bros in a long time though, they dropped me pretty quick once I stopped doing coke.

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

I'd be willing if someone else organised it. I tried to organise a Calgary meet up, and only 3 of us showed up, lol.

Dammit, I'm lazy too... and crappy organizational skills. Hmm...

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

Okay, but only because your post made me giggle. I have 36C boobies. So, is this why it's hard for me to keep in touch with my friends? lol

To the above poster, that's a good idea in theory, but none of my friends use myspace.

Pics?

I hate to say it...but use myspace. I only have it to keep in touch with friends from highschool.

Next time I go to Edmonton, we'll figure something out.

quote:Originally posted by the phantom stranger:

I don't really have any real life friends anymore. I used to but afterwhile I realized I was the only one making an effort to communicate. If they weren't willing to be involved in a friendship then I didn't care anymore. So I just let it die.

Yeah, my 'friends' don't even make an effort to say hi to me anymore. It sucks.

i was really good friends with my neighbors, then when i started highschool he had moved a little ways away. we'd still talk and go over, but where he was sitting at my hosue playing a game waiting for me to get home, then he was only able to come over 3 days out of the week. but that gave me time to play online and talk to people from school. but now that its been a year since i've been out of that school and the rest staying in, all of our relationships have sucked more and more. like in all seriousness i only talk to maybe two people regularly and even now its getting worse. but actually besides having to drive across town, my relationship has been getting very much better with that first one. so i guess 9 years of friendship is always going to work out better even tho for 3 years i had put all my trust into some of these people from highschool. they used to be my everything, but i was never much to them so i just go on and do my own thing. in the last year as my highschool friends have been getting worse i'll try to get out and do things and have fun, but now its to the point i feel they half advoid me, or i have to start everything. no more phone calls. no more texts "what are u doing tonight". nothing now for a month at all. its kinda saddening to be 17 and at home every weekend unless i drive to the other side of town and hang out. but they dont care and after talking to someone at work i shouldnt care.

but in summary,

goign along with everyone else it just proves who your real friends are and who are just aquaintances. i've found now that real friends are a lot better than "friends". instant messaging, phone, and occasional hang outs are good. keep up to date. some people might not care if u've shaven ur pubes, but itd be nice for them to hear if u graduated, got a promotion, etc. but dont try too hard with them if they dont show interest. i dunno what Lazarus means by his comment. if they dont care why should you?

quote:Originally posted by Lazarus:

Seriously? You know you can't go through your whole life like that, right...

I hope I don't go through my entire life like that. The last several years of my life have been pretty desolate friend-wise. But you can't be friends with people who won't return the favor.

quote:Originally posted by akiratheoni

:Yeah, my 'friends' don't even make an effort to say hi to me anymore. It sucks.Thats the way they were. I'd call them, they wouldn't call me. I'd write, they wouldn't write back. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and walk away.

There is like 13 of us from High School that are still Best Friends, Alot of us live together or close to each other. Those that don't visit when they can and we visit when we can. You dont need to talk everyday or even every week if they are good friends, it will be like you never left each other. I just saw a friend I hadnt seen or talked to in a year, it was just like High school again. Those of us that do/can see each other often usually hang out every weekend. Also facebook seems to be the new means of communicae.

I used to thing this tightness as a group was the greatest thing ever. It is great, but it has hindered my ability to make new friends. I have high standards now, it reminds me of coming out of a long relationship and having forgotten "your game" when it comes to picking up girls.

And to Sick_Boy, who are these Totse coke bros, damnit I wish I would have came to that meetup, you HAD to organize it on the day I moved in to my new place. Where are you going to school next year?

[This message has been edited by TheReeper (edited 01-18-2007).]

prozak_jack and AutoPilot. I'm going to school in Calgary next fall (that's the plan anyway). Maybe we can try another Calgary meet up this summer.

quote:Originally posted by the phantom stranger:

Originally posted by Lazarus:

Seriously? You know you can't go through your whole life like that, right...

I hope I don't go through my entire life like that. The last several years of my life have been pretty desolate friend-wise. But you can't be friends with people who won't return the favor.

quote:Originally posted by akiratheoni

:Yeah, my 'friends' don't even make an effort to say hi to me anymore. It sucks.Thats the way they were. I'd call them, they wouldn't call me. I'd write, they wouldn't write back. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and walk away.



Well, for me, they would talk to me if I talked to them, but they would make absolutely no effort to continue the conversation. If I were to pass by them in the hall, they'd ignore me or maybe a small hi. If one of their friends were to walk into a classroom, all of them would be like 'OMFG HI LAWL'... when I would walk in there, no one would even say hi. Wow, yeah, maybe it's just best I cut off contact with them.

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

they dropped me pretty quick once I stopped doing coke.

Why would you stop? Coke is awesome! (it is really fucking expensive though)

They are dicks if they dropped you just because of that though.

quote:Originally posted by Cloaked Dagger:

Why would you stop? Coke is awesome! (it is really fucking expensive though)

They are dicks if they dropped you just because of that though.

That's pretty much it, it wasn't economical. Also my boyfriend wanted me to stop and I was going to school. It just made sense to stop. Plus, I get really bad come downs. If I'm doing coke I spend all my money on it so there's none left over for weed. Or anything else for that matter, lol.

And yeah, it is pretty gay of them to do that. I always thought there was more to our friendship than coke, but I guess not. J, if you read this, I'm really only talking about G. Me and you never really got the chance to hang out that much, although I did have fun the times we did.

haha last time I was in calgary, it happened to be the only time I tried crack... So much damn snow out their.. Post a threadd if you have another meetup swimmm goes their irregularily he might be able to hit err up...

Calgary? isn't that where purepwnage.com is based? Sick_Boy booby pics please.

I don't keep in touch with any of my friends. I recently moved from one country to another and after some initial sporadic contact we have lost touch. Sad really but at least there's beer.

Home phone, mobile, txt messages, MSN, visiting.

We live in different cities, but I still see them every week/second week.

Best mates, are for life. Or until one of you die :P

Sometimes I guess you just have to be willing to make the larger effort. Go out on a limb and text them, or call them, or make them use MySpace. You just have to be a chick about things and refuse to not communicate.

I know it sucks. I've had the same fate.

I keep in touch through most mediums, but my friends always track me down if I disappear for a while.

quote:Originally posted by HandOfZek:

I don't stay in touch with friends. We've all grown apart.. or, rather, they've all grown apart from me. My only friend now is my wife.

Did you guys get married already?

And I am the same way...My only real friend is my husband. I have a couple of women who I talk to sometimes, but I really don't like any of them. I only talk to them because they live around me and I see them when I walk my dog.

This thread reminds me of a certain situation that happened to me once...We kept in touch alright.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

Did you guys get married already?

And I am the same way...My only real friend is my husband. I have a couple of women who I talk to sometimes, but I really don't like any of them. I only talk to them because they live around me and I see them when I walk my dog.

Not married, I just can't spell fiance.

I feel your pain...I'm a terrible speller!

Facebook is the shit.