I was not sure if this belonged here or not. It felt like the right forum so here it goes. This is not a cry for help or attention trolling. Just trying to figure out what the hell going inside my emotional self. Maybe some one may have insight for me. Also I am not in immediate danger, so don't worry.

Lately I been thinking about suicide. Not because I am depressed or griefing (as far as I know) but the idea how nice it would be to take a pistol and shoot myself. I could be experiencing a good mood and still think this.

Now I know what severe depression is like and this ain't it. My guesses are;

Right now I am under stress. I am between jobs and money is tight.

I often think this and the association with is how nice it would be to get away from my life. To see or be something different. maybe I need a vacation to some where exotic or maybe I just don't like myslef and the way I am right now and need to change who I am. Maybe a one eighty in my personality is in order.

I often dream of just leaving home and living the life of an aimless nomad. Maybe this got something to do with it.

Curiousity. What it be like just to go. What would life be like without me around?

Who would come to my funeral and simliar thoughts.

I am maybe too constrained in my life. Maybe death to me would be a method of getting free from what restrictions are present in my life.

Maybe it is a sign to cut all ties from my present life and start anew. I do know I don't like how I and my life turned out and would like more control of myself and things around me.

Maybe it like I feel with no purpose and no sense of accomplishment. Life has been aimless for me.

These are just guesses so

any comments, suggestion or other thoughts what it could be or mean?

Sure you say you aren’t depressed but I think it's safe to say, is it not, that you aren’t very happy with your life as it is right now?

Otherwise why would you want to end it?

Suicide is normally a reaction to physical or emotional agony that is not correctable, but in your current situation it seems like you just need to make some lifestyle changes.

I suggest travel.

-F☺rd

Yeah, travelling sounds like the right prescription for you.

I think I can relate to how you're feeling. I have a history of depression, but I have only thought suicide in between episodes. Kind of like I just can't be bothered with life, like it's pointless. But I don't actually want to die, it just seems like it would be a really easy way out of life's responsibilities...Am I on the right track here?