Alright, So I have a friend, She likes me, I like her. She lives on a different Island than me during the week, and on the weekend she's on my island. We've spent every weekend together for the past... I think it's 4 weekends now.

We exchange e-mails once a night during the week, and we talk on MSN 5 hours a day. On the weekends she comes to my house mostly, I've only gone to hers once... actually this was on sunday, She was at my house on Saturday.

We start off by watching movies... but we never really follow the movie. If you catch my drift. Right now she's being a real cocktease... And I love it. At this point she won't put out anything really, other than the occasional handjob.

She isn't a virgin, but she's only had sex once and she was fucked and chucked for her first time, and she hasn't really gotten over it. I'm slowly gaining her trust... She's really self concious, and on sunday i got rid of her bra. That's a big accomplishment with this particular girl.

I asked her out a couple of weeks ago and she said she wasn't ready for a relationship. but on sunday we were on her sofa and we were cuddling and she said "you're mine" and hugged me real tight. Followed by a kiss.

What should I make of that last paragraph?

While her mom was driving me to town she was stroking my arm (I was in the front seat, she was in the back with her dog, (her dog doesnt like people other than her and her mom)) Also she's been hinting towards sex some time soon.

I really like this girl, I'm not used to taking a relationship this slow, but I like it, She makes me feel really good about myself. But at the same time I feel bad, she just bought me a late xmas present (a pipe... a really nice one too) and at this point I can't afford to buy her anything.

Also when she says "I don't want you do buy me anything"... Does she really mean it? (i'm gonna buy her something anyway)



What would you make of this?

quote:Originally posted by Khronick:

Also when she says "I don't want you do buy me anything"... Does she really mean it? (i'm gonna buy her something anyway)



This thread makes me happy. Everything seems golden, just go with the flow.

Seems to me she's like every other fucking girl I've ever met: confused, fickle, horny, afraid, cautious, [insert other emotions here].

Seriously most girls' base their actions on their emotions, so don't take any of it to heart. Just make your intentions clear and you should be okay.

so what you 2 are saying is that I'm on the right track... Just keep up what I'm doing?

(ie. slowly progressing)

From what you stated in your post, I think she really like you.

The "I don't want you do buy me anything", I also think she meant it. But your gonna buy her anyway so that will make her more glad.

Cool, thanks man... or are you a chick, Fucking internet anonymity.

A couple of things:

1) Don't buy her something, MAKE her something. Something very personal, whether it is a poem, a song, a story about you two, whatever. Something that says I like this and I like you, and I really pay attention/want you to know how I feel/think about this.

2) This girl is in to you. But is testing the water, to see how you react. Remember most guys will try to play the slow thing and bail after about a month. Be strong there boy-o.

3) This one always sucks to have to tell people but it must be said. You are setting yourself up for some serious heartbreak if this thing doesn't follow through into marriage. Granted more than likely it won't, but as they say it is better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all.

4) Reason for #3 (hehe #3 is the same key just without the shift second time 'round), slow moving relationships that you both are really enjoying tend to be the ones that will touch/effect you for the rest of your life or at least a fair amount of it. I'm telling you this because I've been through a couple long term, started out slow, relationships, and they are the ones that have stuck with me. And also keep me up drinking all night on a lot of nights.

I say go for it man, because those relationships, though sometimes painful, are always worth those precious seconds of genuine pure love you feel for another person and can actually feel it coming back your way.

quote:Originally posted by Paul Kemp:

A couple of things:

1) Don't buy her something, MAKE her something. Something very personal, whether it is a poem, a song, a story about you two, whatever. Something that says I like this and I like you, and I really pay attention/want you to know how I feel/think about this.

*noted

2) This girl is in to you. But is testing the water, to see how you react. Remember most guys will try to play the slow thing and bail after about a month. Be strong there boy-o.

*noted, But could you elaborate a little more on the subject?

3) This one always sucks to have to tell people but it must be said. You are setting yourself up for some serious heartbreak if this thing doesn't follow through into marriage. Granted more than likely it won't, but as they say it is better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all.

*I agree with the last sentence completely

4) Reason for #3 (hehe #3 is the same key just without the shift second time 'round), slow moving relationships that you both are really enjoying tend to be the ones that will touch/effect you for the rest of your life or at least a fair amount of it. I'm telling you this because I've been through a couple long term, started out slow, relationships, and they are the ones that have stuck with me. And also keep me up drinking all night on a lot of nights.

*That's something I fear

I say go for it man, because those relationships, though sometimes painful, are always worth those precious seconds of genuine pure love you feel for another person and can actually feel it coming back your way.

for the present. take a special photo of just you 2 (or you may already have one) frame it. even write a special message on it..give it to her (cheap, easy, thoughful)

and it sounds like things are going good. keep it up bro

Alright, here's the deal. On the elaboration, this girl, as you said, has a bit of a rough history with guys, so she wants to feel this all out, and see if you are the guy who isn't going to use her and then break her heart. She has been through it, and isn't looking to rehash that feeling. Which, I'm sure you wouldn't do see as you seem to actually like this girl, but she is just being cautious for her own sake. Just tell her, and only if you mean it, you will always be there for her. Even when things are bad between you two, that you can put petty differences/disputes aside and really be there for her... even when you have to hear about her new boyfriend and what a dick he is... sorry pulling from my own problems. Don't let that phase you though.

And secondly, don't be afraid you crazy kid you. Relationships should be about fear. Not the bad kind of fear, but the kind that lets you know you actually care about this person.

Its fine to be afraid of hurting her feelings, but if the right thing must be done, then do it. But ONLY if it IS the right thing to do. If you think the relationship should be over, fine then end it but only if there is a legit reason. And the girl nest door/down the street wants to fuck you is NOT, repeat, NOT the right reason.

Now if you fall out of love with her, fine, but I say give it sometime before anything crazy is done. Couples have their ups and downs, and the best relationship you can have is when you are willing to go through hell for her.

I say all this because you remind me a bit of myself when I first really truely fell in love. And I can tell that you really dig this girl, on a level not very common. At least I think so anyway. But man, be ready for some crazy stuff to happen, and just be ready to be willing to wade through it, if it doesn't completely turn you off of her.

Maybe I'm wrong and I'm just confusing true love with some puppy love on a grand scale, but I think you can find some real love here in this relationship. And you just have to be willing to bite the bullet for her sake sometimes.

Just make her feel, no, know she is special to you. And you will have it come back your way in a way that will make you glad to find someone who gets you.

It's good to know people have faith in this relationship

Could somebody help me out here. I just had this conversation with the girl, but I need help explaining that last part... it makes sense to me but that's the closest wording i can come up with, Somebody else has to understand it, and could you help me word it right?



quote:[22:00] Kendra(F) ...White Trash Beautiful, There's something u should know, my heart belongs to u: do u think u would ever love me?

[22:00] Dustin: You already asked me that... And I said Definitely

[22:00] Kendra(F) ...White Trash Beautiful, There's something u should know, my heart belongs to u: oh

[22:00] Kendra(F) ...White Trash Beautiful, There's something u should know, my heart belongs to u: i forgot i asked it

[22:00] Kendra(F) ...White Trash Beautiful, There's something u should know, my heart belongs to u: really?

[22:00] Dustin: Yeah

[b][22:01] Kendra(F) ...White Trash Beautiful, There's something u should know, my heart belongs to u: but it would take a long time and a lot of work on my part i'm guessing

[22:01] Dustin: What do you mean?

[22:02] Kendra(F) ...White Trash Beautiful, There's something u should know, my heart belongs to u: like if it ever happend it wouldn't happen anytime soon and i would have to work at our realtionship(u 2 but u know )

[22:02] Dustin: I guess, but you're both right and wrong

[22:02] Kendra(F) ...White Trash Beautiful, There's something u should know, my heart belongs to u: what do u mean

[22:03] Dustin: In a way you wouldnt have to work at it, Like you wouldnt have to change.... And in a way you would have to work at it.... It makes sense to me, but it's complicated





It would be appreciated

quote:Originally posted by Paul Kemp:

3) This one always sucks to have to tell people but it must be said. You are setting yourself up for some serious heartbreak if this thing doesn't follow through into marriage.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Why do people always think that relationships have to end up with marriage? That's the kind of thinking that gets you divorced.

Come on, seriously though, marriage is all based on this one "promise" that you will stay together "FOREVER". Forever meaning, literally, for EVER - this means for as long as this universe is still in existence.

You only need to look at the divorce rate in this country to realise that the word "forever" is completely, COMPLETELY innacurate and that 'forever', 99% of the time isn't quite so 'forever' as you might think.

Just because relationships don;t end up in marriage DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY ARE MEANINGLESS. Remember that, it will save you a lot of heart ache in years to come.

quote:Originally posted by Paul Kemp:

Just tell her, and only if you mean it, you will always be there for her.

Again dude, same thing applies: "always" LITERALLY mean all-ways i.e. forever, which i have just proven isn't quite so forever as people want it to be.

You don't KNOW 100% that you will be there for her FOR-EVER do you? Because what happens if you get hit by a car tomorrow and die in the hospital.

Possible? Yes.

Likely? Perhaps not.

My point is that if that happens, you won't be there for her, will you? because you'd be dead. So if you tell her that you will be there for her forever, all you're actually doing is filling her with false hope of an infinity of time which you can't control.

Never say never, but never say forever.



Your girl does sound like she likes you, she's, just as someone has said up thar^, "testing the water" that is you. Seeing if you genuinely do like her, which it sounds like you do. So continue on the path you're on at the moment, it sounds like it's going really well and that's great. Good things come to those who wait.

*Sneezes*