Hear ye, hear ye: I am bored, and I want to hear about times when you've fucked up and said completely wrong things to an SO. Me first:

So I was dating this girl, who I also happened to be completely in love with. Sadly, our senses of humor didn't completely sync up. So she sends me a text one day, which says, adorably, "I wuv you." I, being a smartass, responded with "I wust after you." She didn't think that was funny, for some reason...

XD Way to go, brainchild.

Here's mine:

I got into the car with my mom and this bright pink condom, that my friend Ethan gave me as a joke, fell out of my pocket.

My mom: Where did you get that?

Me: Ethan.

Her: What?!

Me: Don't worry, he's gay.

Her: WHAT?!

Me: Chill, I won't have it for long.

[This message has been edited by monsoonalrain (edited 01-15-2007).]

mine? i told a chick that i cheated on her(this is the truth ) because i thought, "shit, this is my fault, better tell her, before someone else tells her" she ended up breaking up with me...but, it was just the start, so nothing really happened

-Kman101

An ex of mine asked me if, when we met, would I still have asked her out, if she was a man.

I said no. She then refused to speak to me for half the night.

I was working with my ex at a summer camp. We were washing the dishes(we were kitchen staff) amd I found out some very disturbing news about one of our friends earlier in the day. My ex really started pissing me off. And in some way or another I ended up saying, "Well...if she is your best friend, mind telling me why she called me and not you?" This sent her crying uncontrollably for 3 hours.

Doesn't sound like much, but without know all the backround info on my ex's fears and the situation with our friend you won't understand the full impact.

quote:Originally posted by StillArmedStillAngry:

So she sends me a text one day, which says, adorably, "I wuv you." I, being a smartass, responded with "I wust after you." She didn't think that was funny, for some reason...

Siwwy giwl. It was pwenty funny.

I once got the silent treatment after saying "if your vagina died, just flat-out died and rotted but left the rest of you alive, would that make me a necrophile?". Admittedly, it was probably ill-advised, but goddammit, it was a serious question.

[This message has been edited by Mr.Happy (edited 01-15-2007).]

Okay, so I was on the phone with my gf. And it was really late and I was tired as fuck so I wasn't thinking straight. And my buddy, who was sitting near me was asking all these really annoying questions. Finally he asks "Who're you talking to?" And I was trying to concentrate on what she was saying so I just said "nobody". BAAAAAD IDEA. I was apologizing for that one for well a long time...

So I'd just started hanging out with this awesome girl, though we hadn't gotten really sexual or anything...

So we're taking this romantic walk on a peer, middle of the night... And she says something well this should be good exercise! And I say something like yeah who says you can't get exercise at night! This is great for people who don't have a sex life!

Awkward silence...

I was high once and texted a girl: "when are we gonna fuck?"

Damn that was a bad move.

Well, I had one cute girls contact written on the back of a business card I had previously met that day.

I actually saw this attractive tall brunette I liked in a coffee shop, I went in, talked to her, after a good conversation. I needed something for her to write on to reach her, so I pulled that card. At the moment, I was like :whoops: but after that I realized it didn't matter. She just stared at it then wrote her contact under it.

Nothing to hide; no big deal.

[This message has been edited by FireWire (edited 01-15-2007).]

I once got really pissed off at a very good pseudo-girlfriend of mine and told her on the phone that she only calls me "when she has nobody else to talk to." It was a lie, but it seemed like it at the time.

She responded with something along the lines of "Fuck you, I don't deserve this" and hung up. We ended up smoothing things over and remained friends for a little while longer.

These days she hates me and doesn't speak to me and I still miss her.

This guy I was really infatuated with told me that he really liked me. I responded with a, "What?!" And that was the end of that. I guess it was one of those moment when you just don't know what to say..

My screwed up ex told me she loved me, I told her that her breathe smells like chewing gum and she doesn't love me.... and I walked away, dont regret that though

My girlfriend jokingly told me she was going to go slit her throat and die in a ditch on the side of the road....

I said "do it."

Don't know if it counts, but there was this girl at work who was soooooo cool, hot in the geeky way, and was always flirting with me. So she invites me out for a drink after work. All of the following responses would have worked:

"I can't. Wanna get together another time, though?"

"I don't drink, but I'd spring for a coffee."

"Eh, not real big on drinking, but I'll hang out."

And I said:

"Actually, I'm a recovering alcoholic."

Looooooooooong, awkward silence.

Once my girlfriend had a stomachache and I asked her if she was OK and she said (jokingly): "I think it's our son".

I pretended to punch her in the stomach.

She didn't think it was too funny.

I like this thread.

Me and my ex were at this party and we were pretty wasted and some dog started humping her leg and I laughed...

Baaaad idea...

back when i was in high school, i was out with this girl on christmas eve. I bought her a drink and myself a beer (just to look like the man) and i grabbed a straw and started drinking with that and she busted on me for that..

man i felt so weak.

good times!

quote:Originally posted by Source:

I like this thread.

Me too, keep it coming! I want to try some of this shit to see how much in hot water I get into.

quote:Originally posted by jai614:

back when i was in high school, i was out with this girl on christmas eve. I bought her a drink and myself a beer (just to look like the man) and i grabbed a straw and started drinking with that and she busted on me for that..

man i felt so weak.

good times!

For drinking a beer with a straw? WtF?

quote:Originally posted by pepper23:

For drinking a beer with a straw? WtF?

it was just playfully teasing, i felt like a dunce for a bit, but it wasn't a big deal.

i only remembered this because that girl was my all back then.... it was a first love thing i guess.

a few months ago on a weekend night i had called this girl who I was probably going to hook up with to get her to come to this party, she had some family event going on around the outskirts of town so it didn't work out for her to make it.

At the end of the night, around 4 in the morning, i'm stumbling home ragingly drunk and i text her "what the fuck why didnt we fool around"

needless to say I never tapped her.

"you're not fat, you're just big boned"

doesn't work as an excuse for yourself, and isn't funny to girls(even if they are skinny)

Never mention anything about your girl's weight...

Nor compliment any of her friends on anything physical.

Depends on the girl tho... Mine's pretty cool about stuff.

Well I wasnt going out with this girl, or even kissing her or anything, but we were talking and she said Borat was the worst movie ever

I then say, No, it was hilarious 'smash that jew egg before it hatches' hahaha. She turned out to be jewish....

BUMP

This thread is too good to die.

A while back I told my (now) ex that her best friend had a nice rack... She dumped me.

But I then started going out with her best friend. So it was all good

quote:Originally posted by OrganizedChaos:

Well I wasnt going out with this girl, or even kissing her or anything, but we were talking and she said Borat was the worst movie ever

I then say, No, it was hilarious 'smash that jew egg before it hatches' hahaha. She turned out to be jewish....

Funny unrelated story: The biggest Borat fan I know is a Jew.

Relevant story: When I was 15 decided to ask a girl out via MSN instead of just doing it the next day at school in person. Didn't work so well.

Weird shit is, two years later we're sorta getting together again, it's sweet.

quote:Originally posted by Source:

An ex of mine asked me if, when we met, would I still have asked her out, if she was a man.

I said no. She then refused to speak to me for half the night.

That is so cute. He asking you that. I used to do that to my ex.

I said I love you waaaaaaaaaaaay too soon, just a slip of the tongue.

It sucked, I was leaving the night after anyway.

this thread delivers. keep em comin..

[This message has been edited by Ravenman (edited 01-17-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Marchesa:

That is so cute. He asking you that. I used to do that to my ex.



Wow...superdyke turns out to be a man. Wonder of wonders.

You guys hook up with some damn easily offendable girls.

One time I kinda implied that a girl I was with had put on a bit of weight (mind you, it wasn't a lot, I basically just meant to say that she has looked better, which is probably not much better to say anyway ).

It was pretty embarrassing, but we ended up fucking that night so it's all good.

Oh, and one time, with my first girlfriend, we were sitting next to each other on the couch at my friends place, and another friend called my cell, and he's the type who always asks "Who are you with?". Well, I kinda drew a blank on my girlfriends name, so I started listing all the people in the apartment (who weren't even in the room, since it was just the two of us), very slowly, while trying to remember her name.

It was like: "Umm... John... and, uhhh... Sheena, and... me... and..."

She gives me an evil look and says: "Alanna!"

That was pretty embarrassing.

quote:Originally posted by Source:

An ex of mine asked me if, when we met, would I still have asked her out, if she was a man.

What the fuck!?