I realized this recently when I decided to sit in on a group conversation in our floor's lounge. People were complaining about how girlfriends/boyfriends don't remember things about them, like birthdays and names, and that it somehow means that they don't care/aren't interested in them. I asked "do people actually care about that?" and they implied that they obviously do.

Why should anyone have the right to think less of someone for not caring about every stupid little aspect of their lives? Why should people need to weave complex webs of dishonesty to stay out of trouble with other people? The shit they talk about on a daily basis is pointless. People talk just for the sake of talking to each other and maintaining the relationship, even if there's absolutely nothing to say. They rarely speak seriously; it's almost all a joke, an attempt to develop a personality franchise that they're selling.

All I've ever really wanted is the opportunity to throw ideas back and forth, to get another perspective on the issues I'm facing, to continue improving my understanding of the world and myself. I want to speak and be heard and listen when I care. I don't want people to pretend to be interested in things they can't respond to on a meaningful level, and I wish they didn't expect the same from me. I don't want to share my life, I don't want to like or be liked mindlessly. I don't want to memorize birthdays or make an effort to talk to people when there is nothing to say.

Why does this confuse people? I'm not even sure I entirely understand the issue myself. Does this conflict of interest preclude me from having any meaningful relationships?

Relationships are give and take. If you want to be with someone you need to be a little empathetic.

That's just the price you pay for human relationships.

You don't have to make friends with everyone, but treat your favourites well.

A relationship is not really the place where you expand your knowledge. I think almost the same way. When I'm quite and listen to other people talk I think there saying the stupidest shit but when I talk I join in on all that useless shit. If you want those spreading ideas talks find some friends that think the same thing.

I use totse though to get all ranges of ideas.

If your lucky youll find someone who thinks the same as you and youll enjoy talking with them whether its meaningful or not

otherwise if you give alittle you get a little. Think about it.

Even if you don't care, as long as you pretend and pretend well, you'll do alright.

oooooh, touchy subject; I like.

Do you mean in general or with a lover? Or is it that you find you do not care enough to fall in love?

If you've got the whole 'I don't care about manners' thing going, just be aware than 99.9% of the population's gonna want to knock your lights out, and as far as the definition goes, you're an evil person.

But I've self diagnosed to fit into that group, and I've gotta admit it's kinda lonely. D:



If you're saying that you've got feelings for a person, a single person that you want to BE with, then it's a whole new game. You'd want to make that person happy, right? And if it makes them happy that you remember their birthday or you remember how they hinted 'I love Celtic Knot jewelry' when you go out to buy them something cute... wouldn't it be worth it?

If you don't think it would be, then I can't say whether or not they'd be too happy with you as a person, let alone a lover. To me, in fact, it would seem selfish on the worst level to forget a loved one's birthday. Or, because I find this in myself, to not give a damn when someone dear to your loved one has passed away.



Just remember that whether or not something is morally and logically RIGHT, what is really relevant here is how your loved ones feel.

quote:Originally posted by stab:

Even if you don't care, as long as you pretend and pretend well, you'll do alright.

Yeah, that's what pisses me off. Recently this guy wanted to switch rooms with me, so he led into it by first asking about what game I was playing and pretending to be interested. Then he asked about the room thing after I briefly explained it. I was thinking, why the fuck didn't he just ask me in the first place instead of wasting my time? He never wanted to talk to me before that, so what's the point? People do stuff like that. It's almost expected that people lie, decieve, and stretch the truth to make themselves look good.

My mom always told me to do that. We were visiting relatives one time when I was given bacon for breakfast that was too tough to chew, so I said "wow, sorry, I can't chew this" as an explanation for why I wasn't going to eat it, and she got pretty upset. Apparently you're supposed to just eat it to decieve the cook into thinking they can cook.

cheap happiness is a lesser good than truth. I like to argue and contest things rather than keeping them to myself. It's all I know how to do; if I never did that, I would be totally silent all of the time, except for the occasional "oh", "yeah" and "huh". I've spent the past five or so years of my life trying to make my own happiness independant from the actions of others. I see needing that from other people, not standing on your own emotionally, as disturbing. You have no control over other people, and if you rely on them, you have no control over your own enjoyment of life.

When another persons time and attention become your need, they become a right, and their rights to live their own lives dissolve in your eyes before that need. That's what I've gathered from telivision, anyhow. I don't plan to degrade myself that way, to become what I hate. I'm free, and that means demanding nothing I hold neccesary from others and denying them the same.

It's not that I never want to make other people happy. It's just that there are almost always more important things than that. I guess I'll just use that as a guideline for romantic relationships, persuing them only if I develop a desire to make the other person happy.

The people you are talking about are to stupid and have a fucked up perception of life most likely given to them by media and other bullshit that plagues our society. I myself would much rather spend MY time learning, doing things I enjoy, and trying to figure out the purpose of all this nonsense is :P.

Lately I've just been seeing more and more people becoming slaves to this fucked up perception of life of mindless nonsense. It's very difficult to explain. I just ask myself is this what life is supposed to be all about being forced spoonfuls of needs,ideals,greed.

I know what I am saying isn't coming out directly how I want it to as I find it very difficult to explain. Basically I feel like I am being shown only a small portion of the big picture and I am expected to follow it mindlessly. I know this probally just sounds like rambling bullshit to most, but some know /feel what I am trying to say and understand hopefully.

I figured all that out a long time ago.

quote:Originally posted by ChickenOfDoom:

I realized this recently when I decided to sit in on a group conversation in our floor's lounge. People were complaining about how girlfriends/boyfriends don't remember things about them, like birthdays and names, and that it somehow means that they don't care/aren't interested in them. I asked "do people actually care about that?" and they implied that they obviously do.

Why should anyone have the right to think less of someone for not caring about every stupid little aspect of their lives? Why should people need to weave complex webs of dishonesty to stay out of trouble with other people? The shit they talk about on a daily basis is pointless. People talk just for the sake of talking to each other and maintaining the relationship, even if there's absolutely nothing to say. They rarely speak seriously; it's almost all a joke, an attempt to develop a personality franchise that they're selling.

All I've ever really wanted is the opportunity to throw ideas back and forth, to get another perspective on the issues I'm facing, to continue improving my understanding of the world and myself. I want to speak and be heard and listen when I care. I don't want people to pretend to be interested in things they can't respond to on a meaningful level, and I wish they didn't expect the same from me. I don't want to share my life, I don't want to like or be liked mindlessly. I don't want to memorize birthdays or make an effort to talk to people when there is nothing to say.

Why does this confuse people? I'm not even sure I entirely understand the issue myself. Does this conflict of interest preclude me from having any meaningful relationships?

Dude, I know exactly what you mean. I forget birthdays, anniversaries, even fucking names. It's just not that important, you know?

There are women out there who are the same way. You just gotta look.