My ex is bad for me. I love her, but I'm slowly maturing and coming to grips with the fact that she's counter productive for me.

She's really hung up on me. Keeps telling me how much she loves me, wants to be with me, how I'm the only one, etc etc etc.

That makes it REALLY hard to stop talking to a girl. So I figure "fine, I'll make her stop talking to me".

So I text her "Tonight I've been with some one. We slept together. I just thought you deserved to know", then I turned my phone off. She was out clubbing, so I kind of hope she acted on that and hooked up with some one. It'd make things a lot easier.

Thing is, I was at home, watching Smallville and posting on totse.

I kind of hoped she'd be shattered, kiss some one, and never talk to me again. She usually calls once, if I cant get to my phone in time, she rings again. Never more than two calls...ever. Today, since 12pm (it's 4pm) she's rung 11 times.

It's fucking driving me crazy!

Is ignoring her calls all I can do? or is there another way to make her stop calling. I figured "I fucked some one last night" would do the job.

Share similar times you've lied for some one elses good. Also is not picking up her calls/responding to her texts all I can do?

Ah, in that situation, I wouldn't have done that. But I do believe that white lies are sometimes needed to spare people embaressment or heartache.

In this case though, I really think that was almost curel. I know that you need to look out for your best interests, but lying about something so serious like that? I dunno.. I'll give some more feed back cause all thats going through my head right now is 'what a jerk' and that's not really constructive.

It's almost like you were fishing for attention by sending such a txt. If she's not part of your life anymore - i.e you have no relationship of any sorts, then really why does she need to know if you sleep with people or not?

The best way IMO to get her off your back was to keep ignoring her, not lying to her about something pretty hurtful like that.

You probably ruined her night - she was probably out trying to forget about you, and then you sent that txt.

If your going out with her then break up with her clear and simple.

If your already broken up you have no reason to try help her.

Either way you did something stupid and probaly gonna get caught.

I had a girlfriend once who would call me 5 times a day at least. Some days it was 10. One night she came to my house at 3 in the morning... (I was on Totse) The lights were off so any person with a brain stem would get the hint that I was sleeping, She started throwing Snowballs at my window trying to wake me up... She was doing this for 30 minutes, then it stopped... Until about 15 minutes later, when she returned with a flashlight, she was shining it in my window and throwing more snowballs.

I crept out of my room went to the opposite side of the house and grabbed a snowball off of the window sill, I returned to my room and waited for her to bend down to pick up another snowball. I silently opened up the window and Whipped a snowball right at her, It pegged her straight in the face. I followed that up with "get off my lawn you crazy bitch"

she never called me again, I wonder why

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:

If she's not part of your life anymore - i.e you have no relationship of any sorts, then really why does she need to know if you sleep with people or not?

She is a part of my life. She rings, a lot. We see each other every now and then. But she always sucks me back in. She wants things to end on HER terms. So she always wins me back, only to dispose of me on her terms. So I was making sure she wont try and win me back...

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:

You probably ruined her night - she was probably out trying to forget about you, and then you sent that txt.

She's ruined my nights countless times. My friends actually made a rule that if we're going out, my phone as to have been off for atleast two hours before hand, and that I don't bring it with me. Because she has a track record of destroying my nights.

[This message has been edited by arquin (edited 01-13-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Khronick:

I had a girlfriend once who would call me 5 times a day at least. Some days it was 10. One night she came to my house at 3 in the morning... (I was on Totse) The lights were off so any person with a brain stem would get the hint that I was sleeping, She started throwing Snowballs at my window trying to wake me up... She was doing this for 30 minutes, then it stopped... Until about 15 minutes later, when she returned with a flashlight, she was shining it in my window and throwing more snowballs.

I crept out of my room went to the opposite side of the house and grabbed a snowball off of the window sill, I returned to my room and waited for her to bend down to pick up another snowball. I silently opened up the window and Whipped a snowball right at her, It pegged her straight in the face. I followed that up with "get off my lawn you crazy bitch"

she never called me again, I wonder why

...LOL. 5-10 times a day? Jesus christ, I'd go crazy. Once a day is...sometimes too much. You should have poured a bucket of water on her. In the snow, she would have been dead before she got home .

Yeah i only answered the phone once a day, maybe twice if I was bored.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

You should have poured a bucket of water on her. In the snow, she would have been dead before she got home .

LOLLLLLLL

well I've absolutely never gone that far, but my boyfriend thought this guy was hitting on me at my gym so i didn't go back for like 4 months.... I don't like to have to deal with things like that most of the time so I just omit little statements made by people that would make him uncomfortable. The big things..i never feel the need to keep them from him, i don't cheat or anything so it's not that there's much to tell.

quote:Originally posted by TehWTF:

well I've absolutely never gone that far, but my boyfriend thought this guy was hitting on me at my gym so i didn't go back for like 4 months.... I don't like to have to deal with things like that most of the time so I just omit little statements made by people that would make him uncomfortable. The big things..i never feel the need to keep them from him, i don't cheat or anything so it's not that there's much to tell.

But that was a lie to make your self seem good. I lied to make my self seem bad.

I'm sure you've heard the saying "you always want what you can't have." This is exactly what you just did to her. She thinks you've moved on, that she can't have you anymore. And that makes her want you even more. You say she wants things to end on her terms? She may want to hurt you more than ever now. So in essence love, you've just screwed yourself over even more by lying to her. Twas a good notion though.

Or maybe she knows you're lying and wants to know why the hell you're lying? I don't know. Just keep ignoring her calls, maybe she'll take the hint in a few days. If not, an angry "BITCH, STOP FUCKING CALLING ME!" might work.

As for your question, I used to lie to people, thinking it was in their (and my) best interests. I gave up on that though. Now I'm just blatantly honest, and although it seems to bother a lot of people, it's really helped to weed out the fake friends from the real ones (ie I have damn near no friends left. sad ) As cliche and lame as it sounds, honesty really is the best policy. And it's also hilarious sometimes when I'm shopping with someone and they ask my opinion on something and I say "ugly" or "what the fuck are you thinking?" Bad example, but I think it portrays the point.

Unfortunately though, people really tend to confused honesty with being a bitch/asshole. Am I rambling? I think I'm starting to ramble. I'll stop now and go to sleep. Hope I was helpful, or at least, marginally entertaining?



[This message has been edited by Demoiselle (edited 01-13-2007).]

Don't play mind games with a woman, they're far more experienced and you'll come out worse off.

Just a straight up "this isn't going to work right now, I don't know when or if it ever will. Give me some space" should be good. Assuming that's what you want to get across...

I lie in the best interest of myself.

I lie in the best interest of people all the time. Non stop actually. Mostly that person is me.

But i've lied in the best interest of others to, but arquin, in my experience , 90% of the time if it comes to love, what you think is in the others best interest will actually just fuck you both up in the long term

Just tell her how it is arquin. I think if she hears you told her you got laid just to get rid of her she'll dump you within a sec

quote:Originally posted by dark-easterbunny:

Just tell her how it is arquin. I think if she hears you told her you got laid just to get rid of her she'll dump you within a sec

Well, she can't dump me if she's already been dumped for over a month. But I think you're right, if I tell her, it will become permanent.

This is fucked. This all blew up out of the tiniest thing. I can't wait to get away from this fuck hole.

have you considered snowballs?

quote:Originally posted by arquin:



So I text her "Tonight I've been with some one. We slept together. I just thought you deserved to know", then I turned my phone off. She was out clubbing, so I kind of hope she acted on that and hooked up with some one. It'd make things a lot easier.





Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch.



I've been on the receiving end of such texts a few times in my life. It's the most horrible, destroying, damaging thing anyone could ever do to a person emotionally.

If she deserved it, good one

Dont you think it would just be easier to say

'I dont want you. You're really bad for me. Leave me alone'.

I know that would suck in the way that you wouldnt get to torment her little mind, but it would probably mean you wont get so karma'd at a later point in your life.

Yes I lie in the best interest of people all the time. Mainly myself

I'm brutally honest. My friends respect that about me. But ya I have lied a few times to people to get them to fuck off and I think what you did what was right. Emotionally destroying someone is rather fun