I guess only one of them is a question.

First, what makes a relationship "official?" I'm at the point with this guy where he uses "we" quite a lot. As in, "what time are we going to the hookah bar tonight?" and I said something like "When I kissed you" and he said "when we kissed" (it made sense in context). He walks me to my car and kisses me good night, and now pretty much everybody knows there's something going on. But I wouldn't refer to him as my boyfriend... Does it have to be a spoken thing, or can that just come about? It doesn't bother me that it's not "official" because I'd like to take it as slow as possible, and right now it feels too soon to be "serious" I guess.

And the second part is this. That guy and I have been hanging out with another friend, and recently we've sort of formed a little group. But this other friend, I just found out, has feelings for me and I guess gets jealous of the first guy. I liked him for a bit, but I'm over that. Should I talk to him? I feel bad now, I don't want to kiss the first guy in front of him or anything, because I guess he gets all upset about it. I was thinking maybe I should talk to the first guy, but I don't want to make things weird between them.

Edit: They didn't contradict each other like I thought they would. So the title is wrong. Nevermind.

[This message has been edited by firekitty751 (edited 01-12-2007).]

Don't say anything to the friend. Don't kiss in front of him and I'd try to add one or two other people to that little "group". Eventually he's really going to feel like a third wheel.

As for the first question. There's no concrete rule for that. It's too subjective to answer.

what do you mean by "official"

if its a "its gonna stay this way for more than 6 months", then you probably have to get through several milestones

im guessing either a tongue kiss or some kind of foreplay (doesnt necessarily mean sex) it shows that it is at a stage of intimacy

second question, i dont know, that other guy seems pretty desperate but i think he would eventually understand and back off

I can see a lot of similarities between your posts, and bushys.

If you like the first guy, then do what you're doing with the first guy. If it makes him feel all warm and tingly thinking that you two are "official" then who are you to take that away from him?!

As long as things don't get uncomfortable for you, you should be okay.

The second guy has to get used to the fact that you don't like him like that.

He knows that you two have a little thing going (no matter how serious it is) and if he wants to hang around with you, he's got to deal with that fact.

If he can't then he should move on and find another little support group...Or whatever.

There's nothing worse than the third wheel making things awkward for you.

Thanks guys.

He's not like a third wheel, at all. And he's not desperate. The three of us just call each other, then go meet up with other people. Basically, them and one of my friends are the only three people that regularly hang out in our "group" that I can even stand to be around at the moment.