Do you have a hard time wanting to go out with a guy who had recently broken up with his girlfriend?

Like if he asked you a few days or weeks after breaking up his ex-?

Alright, instead of being hypothetical and shit, I'll just say what's up. Around the end of October, I started going out with this chick Sarah. After about two months or so (of us going out), my drug habits and shitty grades were discovered (the latter being caused by the former) by my parents and so I haven't really been able to go out with her. Also, I never really felt very close to her, I really just wanted to get laid. So about three weeks after being discovered and realizing that the time that my parents would be on my ass would exceed any reasonable time that I'd have to spend with her to get laid, I broke up with her.

She cried about a day or so later, and a friend told me I should tell her why. He also asked to know why. I told him "I loved her, but I simply don't want to lead her on, OK? Also, I know that she'll eventually get tired of me not being able to call or not being able to go out ever, so I wanted to end it before she got too sucked into the relationship."

Honestly, that's complete, utter bullshit, and I didn't feel the need to tell her why (I said that to my friend yesterday) at lunch earlier today. I know I can hook up with someone else and get laid relatively easily. I just got tired of Sarah so I just felt the need to end it.

So that's where I stand as of now. But hold on! The good part's here; for the past week or two, even before breaking up with Sarah, I started becoming increasingly interested in this cute sophomore in my General Phys. Ed class (I'm a freshman), Josie. She's really nice, really honest, and pretty damn hot. Anyways, I just noticed that she... doesn't seem to hate me, and I'd say she even seems to have developped quite a liking for me. Maybe it's just a feeling, or I'm wishing to hard, and she doesn't really seem like the type to "go out." Y'know what I mean, like.. doesn't seem like the type of chick who goes out? The reasons are as follows; she smiles and giggles and the most retarded, dumbest things I say, that even I asknowledge as being stupid shit. Also, she isn't the kind of girl who likes to hug much, but her hugs are amazing, and she comes really close to me when she does (our bodies touch in a 'more-than-friendly manner') I mean, hell, I'm a hugger, and I hug a ton of chicks, and this girl, we're really not even that close (other than knowing each other from class and hugging in the halls and such.), and the hug itself seems really close. I know my other jerk-off friend Johnny who hugs her, mainly as a joke and the fact that he's a rampant womanizer (who really isn't even that good). He has a crush on her, too, much like mine (for different reasons; he just likes her looks) and I see them hug and I silently chuckle and she's seems to be totally not into it, but she still like taps him in the arm, expecting one.

Anyways, just as a note, I forgot to mention the fact that the reason we had actually started to get close was because I had jokingly (cynically, but in an amusing way) stated that "I am totally in love with your sister," to her sister, Carmen, after some random joke.

This other annoying emo girl who had overheard then got all big-eyed about what I had just said and ran over the track field and told Josie. She looked up at me (she had been looking down, and did one of those smiles where you're trying to hide it, but then it became big (an all-out smile).

Lastly, I'm not going to be some self-hating shit; I'm a pretty good-looking guy. Most people would say the same, but chicks like the way I dress and look, and I take very good care of myself, and particularly my hair. It's not a big thing, but yeah, I have nice hair, nice teeth. I work out, so I'm not at all out of shape. (I joke sometimes about how bad I am at stretching, and I even made it seem serious that I could even reach my knee.) I have reasons why a girl would like to go out with me other than my looks, as I'm a pretty funny dude when you get to know me, I have a relatively large body of knowledge (for a typically retarded Freshman), and I don't brag about things like my looks or my intellect, unlike other guys. Like jocks, for example.

There are a couple reasons why I'm not going forward and asking her out:

<UL TYPE=SQUARE>

<LI> She's a sophomore, I'm a freshman. Not really obvious difference, but still; just sayin'.

<LI> Although she never really seems "into" Johnny, she still (today, at least) "expected" a hug, tapping him as he was going to pretty soon, leave. He did this on purpose, to note, to see whether or not she cared about him enough to want to ask for a hug, ya get me?

<LI> Her friend in the class, whom I also speak with, would definately know if she liked me (as girls tend to tell each other whom they like, or at least who they think is "hot," but her friend (who, to note, has a boyfriend) doesn't like go like "Oooohh, Richie, I haaave a seeecret to tell you!" next to Josie, as sometime happens when a girl tell another girl who she likes.

<LI>She didn't inquire as to my girlfriend or the relationship at all while I was still going out with my ex-, even though I had sometimes casually brought her up (mainly to see what her reaction would be; it was irrelevent, didn't seem to care or ask into it). She didn't even really ask about the break-up when I told the aforementioned friend about it, with Josie sitting right next to us (me and the friend).

</UL>

Hell guys, I mean, I see her as I sometimes casually walk by looking at me, but trying to conceal the fact that she really looks like she'd like to talk or just sit next to me or something, and, if I don't come up to smile and hug her, she slowly (shyly) comes up to me, at which point I smile and hug her.

I don't know, fuck it, damnit. Just, I know this must be really fucking long by now, but if anyone could offer any advise, or your thoughts; anything, haha, than I can't thank you more!

Also, I just remembered, and I thought that you all should know (those who read). On the internet, where people's true selves can be revealed, or really, on her AIM, which I just got a few days ago from her facebook, she doesn't really say much either, but... yeah, whatever.

Again, thanks for any possible input.

You like her, she could very well like you, so ask her out. I mean, what have you got to lose, really? If she doesn't like you you'll find out and learn to stop thinking of her and if she does like you... well, cool! I fail to see the need for this giant thread. Don't get me wrong, detailed threads are good, but this is a pretty simple question.

EDIT: Oh, and I think she is hugging you like that, etc. because she found out that you are free and WANTS to get with you/see this as an opportunity.

[This message has been edited by Tamerlane (edited 01-11-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Tamerlane:

You like her, she could very well like you, so ask her out. I mean, what have you got to lose, really? If she doesn't like you you'll find out and learn to stop thinking of her and if she does like you... well, cool! I fail to see the need for this giant thread. Don't get me wrong, detailed threads are good, but this is a pretty simple question.

EDIT: Oh, and I think she is hugging you like that, etc. because she found out that you are free and WANTS to get with you/see this as an opportunity.



And if I don't act soon, does that mean she'll lose interest, her being a sophomore and all? I mean wow, I felt an explosion inside just now as I read your reply, haha.

I just would like to know whether or not I should act quickly, or just, as she did, become... "more and more friendly," if you catch my drift.

Tamerlane, just curious, did you read it all?

I'm just wondering.

quote:Originally posted by Necrypsys:

Tamerlane, just curious, did you read it all?

I'm just wondering.

This is the interweb, not a Barbera Cartland apreciation society!

I read it all, took what ? all of 3 minuets. I say ask her out somewere and see what her reactions are and go from there.

At least try something

Try to think more in this frame of mind -

"Who gives a shit?"

I mean really, do you? What have you got to lose by asking her out? A bit of pride. If you get rebuffed, take it on the chin, crack a smile and say "can't win 'em all".

Like you say, if you're a good looking guy (I'm not saying you aren't any of these things, I haven't met you so I'll take your word for it), with a brain, confidence and social skills then you shouldn't have anything to worry about, her loss.

I've been there and I'm tired of girls slipping through the net. Girl I liked really liked me, we hung out for a while then I got the wrong signals. We ended up just friends (though good ones). I brought it up once and she explained "We hung out and it was great and then you didn't say anything".

Give it a shot.

I think the most obvious, simple, and short answer would be to just ask her out.

ask her out. even if she says no, she will understand the signals she was giving out were 'more than friends' signals, and that you asking her out is completely justifiable, and you'll remain friends.

YOU-ARE-A-DICK!! GIVE ME A D! GIMME AN I...

C'mon! Just sing along and stuck a big, spiky pineapple into your anal cavity for making a big problem out of FUCKING NOTHING!!

The rant about "Sarah" was NOT needed to hide the story of:

"I broke with my gf, I like another girl wich some gaylord is trying to steal from me, yet I am too scared to react because I fear of how my ex is going to react after I dumped her and gave her reasons that hid the fact I was getting tired of her"

...and yes, you know now I am wasting my 6 month group therapy on anger management control thanks to you. Got Paypal? Why? BECAUSE I'M FUCKING PRESSING CHARGES THAT'S WHY!!

Ok, now for some advice:

1) What you did with your gf was wrong. Not because of morals. Because of lack of technique. You should've tought wich were the best words to tell her GTFO. That I'll help lather as my forehead veins are so pumped that are blocking my sight.

2) That little womanizer friend of yours needs an emo kid to fuck his ass daily and call him Daisy. What I mean to say: IT WOULD A SIN to let a sophomore fall into the hands of such a failed project of demi-queer.

3) Make your move, regardless what your ex says/does. Be prepared to loose some common friends, and to DISCOVER who's on YOUR SIDE. Many will join as "omg! Necrypsis is such a bad person! Note that I am not evil though I am male and have an erection comming on your direction right now!". Those, need to be knifed (tehee!)

4) QUIT THE BULLSHIT OF "SHE'S NOT THE KIND TO GO OUT WITH" YOU FUCKING COCK-SNIFFER!! Every fucking man knows that smoking hot girls with attitude are SO SCARCE THAT EVENTUALLY YOU PAY FOR THEM (if you got the money to afford models as escorts). And what every man also knows is that WE LIKE GIGGLING GIRLS THAT HUG YOU EVERY SO FOR THE SAKE OF IT!! AND YES I CAN TYPE IN CAPS TOO.

Your INMATURE problem (wich shines thanks to your lack of controll on drugs) is the "WHAT WOULD OTHERS THINK OF ME" factor. You WILL be labeled as "freak" thanks to your girl, but by who? By the people that see you out with her and that they DON'T KNOW how you actually are.

IF SHE MAKES YOU HAPPY, AND HAS NO VISIBLE DEFORMATIONS, FUCK WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT IT. She's nice and hawt by what you've post. She giggles for every stupid things because she likes you, and I am ASSUMING she's doing it in HUMAN way (no high pitched piggy shouts/snorts).

5) By her behaviour, she is DEFINATLY VIRGIN. Or extremely shy, but to that grade it clearly gives the message of "I have never seen a cock out of sex education class". What it means? That you'll have thrice fun with her than with your ex.

6) If you have enough confidence to believe yourself cool thanks to drug abuse and to dump your girlfriend and state that you feel like not giving her any reason, then you're enough confident to approach that girl closely enough to make her heart beat go to 300 and tell her something among the lines: "I like you, lets go out most of the time and I promise a paradise of sweet happiness since no one will say anithing bad and you haven't heard nothing about my drug habits."

6) DO IT BEFORE YOU GAYLORD FRIEND DOES!!

7) MAKE HER FEEL / STATE that you LIKE her (never say love you in the first contact! Her paranoid mechanism will activate!). Say it one time and be (or try to look like) honest about it! Why? Because your gaylord friend is playing with her, AND YOU. That guy would probably fuck her after 5 months of going out and will scar her for life about males!

8) That friend of yours, is now YOUR ENEMY. Why? Since you stated your "ill" reputation, he WILL use it against you at any moment.

Imagine if she's dumb/slutty enough to ask HIM about his opinion on YOU. He'll burst into you being next to Kurt Cobain in terms of junkie-ness, your incest & scat fantasies with your grand-grand mother and your bad, horrible, next-to-criminal reputation. Of course, all that is exxagerated, but, it will be said. Making her get a RESTRAINING ORDER against you, just in case!

8) Act. Act fast. AND DO IT NOW!!

9) Never let her ex befriend her, or you're fucked, because she'll lie even worse than your gaylord friend, probably stating you forced her to take drugs/up the ass like 4 times a DATE.

10) END. Now go and do. You have ONE DAY to do it, ALL. Leaving it hang will pile more shit next to fan, and when it hits, you'll be fucked.

ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM WITH DRUGS: Face it, it is a problem you cuntbag!

Things were made by God/man/wichever applies to be enjoyed. Sure you can enjoy with EXCESS, but what you get?

If you eat to much, you get tubby and grow into a male "Batgirl". If you fuck too many, you grow MUSHROOMS on your penis and FROGS in your ASS. If you play too much games, like 29 HOURS a DAY, you get EPILEPSY.

But, heh, fuck, it's sooo great to get wasted... WELL IT IS! The thing is, consequence. I am not telling you to quit, I am not telling you you're going to Hell to be raped by the satanic version of Bubba. I am telling you that you'll fuck yourself up real quick. Not that I care for your health or if you reach 60 years alive, I care for your ENJOYMENT.

If you leave some time, you can enjoy many other things. MODERATE FOR FUCKS SAKE! If not for your health, FOR YOUR MONEY! DOPE PRICES VARY, AND AS MORE YOU SMOKE, THE MORE CHANCES YOU GET CAUGHT BY THE POPOS AND SENT INTO REHAB, LOOSE YOUR PARENT'S TRUST AND MORE IMPORTANT, YOUR STASH OF FUCKING WEED!!!

On a personal appreciation, pot smokers and other junkies have brought pain to my family. So much pain I wish that you die jumping off a 10 story building and land into a pit of spikes because you thought you could fly. Or robbed and shot by a bunch of necrophiliac niggers.

But I won't hate you if you try to make weed a less important part of your life, at least so small it will allow you to better your grades and make happy this Jodie girl.

Do not let your addictions rip your sorroundings, as there are SO MANY OTHER THINGS TO EXPLOIT.

My addictions are weapons and general violence and have brought more havoc than by those that had it with drugs.

Now go.

Ronin, you're just a bit over emotional, don't you think?

It sounds like she's into you. And you do seem at least a little bit intelligent, for a freshman.

If a guy makes it clear he likes me and he's over his ex, then I'll go for it regardless of how long it's been.

Hey, guys, sort of a new problem.

We were talking on AIM, and she told me, "Ahhhhh Johnny keeps saying 'lets hang out'" and I jokingly replied 'ahhh, don't be hatin' his freshman seduction moves.' and she went 'u kno i can't haha' and then we switched topics.

But wow, that was JUST when I was about to say "let's hang out sometime." Hahaha, God LOVES me! The only problem is, I won't see her most of next week (exam week), and yeah...