Yeah so I have this friend who has lived here basically his whole life except for moving away once for a year or two and then coming back. Well he's the type of guy that is more of the friendly type with the girls rather than the more confident "goes for what he wants" type of guys.

Theres something about this guy though that kind of just lets girls in on the "i want to be friends and you can talk to me about whatever" side instead of the "i want you and id rather have a relationship than just a normal friendship" side. He's got himself pretty damn worked into this space too because it's like that with just about every girl he knows.

I don't know what it is but he just comes off to the girls as more of just another girl that they can talk to about whatever. He's definitely not gay or bi and he's about as normal as a guy as i know, theres just something about him that tells the women subconsciously "just a friend" or something.

My question is, is there some way to break this barrier? Would he just have to be assertive and let them know that he doesn't want to be talked to as just another girl or what? I'm talking to him right now trying to give him advice but it's kind of hard because I've only been in a smaller version of this situation one time before. Any help appreciated.

Well, do you have any interest in him?

If he's feeling a girl friend, he just has to tell her. Which is easier said than done, but you're not going to get out of the friend zone if you don't even make an effort.

NO do not listen to Sickboy: he cannot "tell her how he feels" in order to cross the barrier



what he needs to do is SHOW her through his actions that he wants her. this can include words, but don't say it directly. What it comes down to is your friend comes across as a nice guy, a pussy. But girls want dicks, and to be a dick that a girl (pussy) wants, he has to show he is a dick, or rather that he has one. Being assertive is just one part, showing confidence in yourself and love for who you are is another, showing that he has physical attraction to her, are all very important.

And as for friends he already has, its highly unlikely they will switch. Once in the friends zone, give up on those girls. They already see him as a friend and most girls cant change their feelings into attraction from a friend they trust. It's just a different kind of bond and although us guys can certainly switch, its harder for girls to get around that switch, actually, its rather impossible for most girls

quote:Originally posted by crazy hazy vermonter:

NO do not listen to Sickboy: he cannot "tell her how he feels" in order to cross the barrier



what he needs to do is SHOW her through his actions that he wants her. this can include words, but don't say it directly. What it comes down to is your friend comes across as a nice guy, a pussy. But girls want dicks, and to be a dick that a girl (pussy) wants, he has to show he is a dick, or rather that he has one. Being assertive is just one part, showing confidence in yourself and love for who you are is another, showing that he has physical attraction to her, are all very important.

And as for friends he already has, its highly unlikely they will switch. Once in the friends zone, give up on those girls. They already see him as a friend and most girls cant change their feelings into attraction from a friend they trust. It's just a different kind of bond and although us guys can certainly switch, its harder for girls to get around that switch, actually, its rather impossible for most girls



Yeah I see what you mean about the confidence and assertiveness part but I really do think this guy has hope here. I think he just needs to not let these women walk on him like they are. He's got confidence and shit he just doesn't tend to show it like most guys do I guess.

quote:Originally posted by crazy hazy vermonter:

NO do not listen to Sickboy: he cannot "tell her how he feels" in order to cross the barrier



what he needs to do is SHOW her through his actions that he wants her. this can include words, but don't say it directly. What it comes down to is your friend comes across as a nice guy, a pussy. But girls want dicks, and to be a dick that a girl (pussy) wants, he has to show he is a dick, or rather that he has one. Being assertive is just one part, showing confidence in yourself and love for who you are is another, showing that he has physical attraction to her, are all very important.

And as for friends he already has, its highly unlikely they will switch. Once in the friends zone, give up on those girls. They already see him as a friend and most girls cant change their feelings into attraction from a friend they trust. It's just a different kind of bond and although us guys can certainly switch, its harder for girls to get around that switch, actually, its rather impossible for most girls



Nice post.

The only way to get out of what you call the 'friend zone' is to completely ignore the girl for a long time, and I mean completely. She has to forget about you, or at least forget what you were like. Then when you come back, you've got to be someone different. You can't tell her you changed, you've got to show her through your actions. From the first word, you need to be someone else.

The only way a woman will reconsider the 'friend' thing is if she thinks you're a completely different person. Then she'll think 'maybe there's something to him after all' and she might actually be interested.

But good luck pulling that off.

quote:Originally posted by Nephtys-Ra:

The only way to get out of what you call the 'friend zone' is to completely ignore the girl for a long time, and I mean completely. She has to forget about you, or at least forget what you were like. Then when you come back, you've got to be someone different. You can't tell her you changed, you've got to show her through your actions. From the first word, you need to be someone else.

The only way a woman will reconsider the 'friend' thing is if she thinks you're a completely different person. Then she'll think 'maybe there's something to him after all' and she might actually be interested.

But good luck pulling that off.

DING DING DING! We have a winner!

I started out as the person she bitched to about her ex, or talked to about 'girl stuff'. Now I blow on her back on a regular basis.

Above mentioned advice works.

Tell your friend to grow a pair and ask her out.

Well there's always the good ol' standby of chloroform and rohypnol...