Here's the deal...

My boyfriend visited me back on november 30-dec. 4- in that tiem frame, we got engaged, not married... jsut engaged. My parentsk now, and two other elatives... but the resto f my family is in the dark, as are his parents.

How exactly can i tell them all without having them all go ballsitic.

Please note that in my family a lot of female members HAD to get married due to lack of keeping their legs shut. neither of us have had sexual intercourse yet.

so... yeah...how do i do this??

I guess I don't understand the issue.

Just tell them " hey, were enganged "?

eh... not so easy.. .they'll automatically think i'm kncoked up or somthing... note that i'm 18 and he's 24...

quote:Originally posted by Chubchub:

eh... not so easy.. .they'll automatically think i'm kncoked up or somthing... note that i'm 18 and he's 24...

Who gives a damn, on what grounds do they have the right to judge? Besides, not telling them looks worse.

good point...

Chubchub, you're setting yourself up for pain and failure. Don't go down this path this fast. Live together for a few years without children, and see if you're compatable.

we are compatible though... we're alike enough to do things together, but different enough ot keep things mixed up.

quote:Originally posted by Chubchub:

we are compatible though... we're alike enough to do things together, but different enough ot keep things mixed up.

And you know all of that because of what he's shown you over the internet, and the very short time you spent together for a few days, right?

Chubchub, people change VERY QUICKLY, and even slower. Depends on the person, but though, it happens.

What's GOING to happen is that you'll get married, move in together, and find out after some time (hopefully before you've had children) that you were in puppy love, and that it's gone. You might stay friends if you don't have children, but if you do you'll hate each other for having to stay together.

So, really, you're setting yourself up for pain love.

You don't plan on getting married for years yet.

What you are doing sounds as if it needs more face to face time, but it's just dating with a ring on your finger. One that I assume you aren't wearing, since people don't know.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

You don't plan on getting married for years yet.

What you are doing sounds as if it needs more face to face time, but it's just dating with a ring on your finger. One that I assume you aren't wearing, since people don't know.

I wear my ring every day, actually.

quote:Originally posted by Chubchub:

I wear my ring every day, actually.

Is everyone else blind?

dont do it. you have many years ahead of you to get to know him and others if it doesnt work out. move in with him for a while and see how that works. i would atleast wait till ur 24 in your situation but i wouldnt get married until im in my 30s honestly. dont rush things. and btw how long have you known him and what exactly do you do with him on a regualr basis? do you go to family things together or what? and if you having doubts about telling them that you are engaged i wouldnt get married because i can tell you are questioning this and nto exactly sure if you want to do this. it can possibly be all you family but i bet you are having some big doubts about this.

dont do it wait for awhile atleast a couple of years. and plus college. are you going or are you in the same one?

quote:Originally posted by Ravenman:

dont do it. you have many years ahead of you to get to know him and others if it doesnt work out. move in with him for a while and see how that works. i would atleast wait till ur 24 in your situation but i wouldnt get married until im in my 30s honestly. dont rush things. and btw how long have you known him and what exactly do you do with him on a regualr basis? do you go to family things together or what? and if you having doubts about telling them that you are engaged i wouldnt get married because i can tell you are questioning this and nto exactly sure if you want to do this. it can possibly be all you family but i bet you are having some big doubts about this.

dont do it wait for awhile atleast a couple of years. and plus college. are you going or are you in the same one?

he's alredy finished with college. I plan to go and becoem a teacher, then move inwith him afterwards and start life with him.

Man, im 18 and the thought of me or anyone else my age getting engaged is still as laughable as it was when i was 16 or 17, and i wouldn't say its because im immature because i don't think i am...its just.....i still feel so young

Anyway, you should just tell them, let it be known that it isn't for the reasons which they may suspect and anyway, why do you care if they think that? in 9 months they will see you haven't had a baby.

Seriously, fuck all the apprehension on here, it's bullshit. You're young, if you really think it'll work then take the plunge and just fucking do it - you sound enthusiastic enough so just go for it.

Just tell your families straight. If they assume you're knocked up, then they've misjudged you and you can expect an apology 9 months down the line when you're not popping a kid out. Don't worry about these things, they sort themselves out - just be honest and confident in yourself and your decision.

hahaha, when i read the thread title i thought it was about you taking a massive shit.

quote:Originally posted by jvm222:

hahaha, when i read the thread title i thought it was about you taking a massive shit.

People like you are making me say the 'LOL' more than I like too

And I too would advise against it...What's the rush?

quote:Originally posted by Trousersnake:

People like you are making me say the 'LOL' more than I like too

And I too would advise against it...What's the rush?

Thats probably why i said hahaha instead of lol, because lol just means nothing in internet talk, ask the people at charmin.

quote:Originally posted by jvm222:

Thats probably why i said hahaha instead of lol, because lol just means nothing in internet talk, ask the people at charmin.

I'll start doing that then...or the cheesey grin

quote:Originally posted by Chubchub:

we are compatible though... we're alike enough to do things together, but different enough ot keep things mixed up.

you do realise a lot of couples have this and still mess up. It's no garantee. And if you don't wanna postphone it cause it seems wiser to EVERYONE, please, take one advice from me. Go, just the 2 of you on a holiday in a tent. The tent part is very important. If you can do this for 2,5-3 weeks without killin eachother or something close, there might be hope.

What's the problem, again?

It's your choice and your decision, and it's not as though his stupid fucking familly can force you to break up.

I warn you though, they will try.