Oookay. So my boyfriend and I decided to use lube last night since we haven't had sex in a while, and it hurts me under normal circumstances anyway. It was that KY warming crap. We also used a condom for the first time since ever, but that has nothing to do with the story I think.

Anyway, the lube DEFINITELY did not do it's not. It burned. Horrible burning. And there was no lubifying of any sort. We were both rather upset.

Is it just me? Am I allergic to it or something? Or does KY just suck? Not cool man. This whole sex thing is way too complicated.

KY jelly has always worked for me... just the standard stuff though, not the extra spicy version.

EDIT: I mean Ive never tried the hot one.

[This message has been edited by Docta? (edited 01-07-2007).]

Trust me, it wasn't the KY Jelly in general, its the Warming aspect. The warming lubes, IMHO, blow ass. I've had some on my dong, and it tingled, and I'm sure if it got warmed up enough, it would've burned to some extent. Also, I find the warming lubes to kinda get sticky, and thick.

Just stick to regular water-based lubes, and you'll be fine. I'm sure you know the spiel about non-water based lubes fucking with latex and so forth.

quote:Originally posted by met_B_A_N_S:

Trust me, it wasn't the KY Jelly in general, its the Warming aspect. The warming lubes, IMHO, blow ass. I've had some on my dong, and it tingled, and I'm sure if it got warmed up enough, it would've burned to some extent. Also, I find the warming lubes to kinda get sticky, and thick.

Just stick to regular water-based lubes, and you'll be fine. I'm sure you know the spiel about non-water based lubes fucking with latex and so forth.

Yeah I know that whole spiel. Do they even make non-water based lube anymore? Doesn't make much sense to...

I put some of this stuff on my fingers after, and it dried after like 30 seconds. I dunno. I'm kinda turned off from lube forever now I think.

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

Do they even make non-water based lube anymore? Doesn't make much sense to...

I'm pretty sure the non-water based "lubes" are things like body oil, you know, things you shouldn't be using as lube anyways because they weren't designed for it.

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

Yeah I know that whole spiel. Do they even make non-water based lube anymore? Doesn't make much sense to...

I put some of this stuff on my fingers after, and it dried after like 30 seconds. I dunno. I'm kinda turned off from lube forever now I think.



they still make non water based lubes for people who prefer the texture. i know a lot of people who prefer silicon based for anal. if you aren't using condoms, what does it matter?

and i have used the warming before, its ok. a little too runny sometimes, but it is usually just needed for initial insertion anyways. the warming aspect is ok, i got it for back rubs, which feels really nice. down below it is whatever to me, i could take it or leave it.

but overall, a little bit of spit is always best.

Never, ever use 'warming' (aka 'burning'). They're seriously... they're like some cruel joke played by infertile erection-less scientists or something.

Normal lube, on the other hand, is science's gift to sex. Apart from the pill.

In my experience, the warming kind has either burned girls or they didn't feel it. I can feel the warming, but it's not that great, and I really don't care much for it. I still have a bottle of it. I might just use it for massages.

the warming stuff is pretty lame. it tends to be really sticky and the warming part is more weird than useful. i got it all over me awhile ago during a good old session of having my cleavage fucked and i had to take a 2am shower because my skin was on fire and felt like a swamp creature had tried to mate with me.

edit: that's not to say it's not sort of fun while it lasts, or that it would be pretty good for massages. messier than normal lube though. it's the consistency that really gets you.

[This message has been edited by YouLookFourteen (edited 01-07-2007).]

Demoiselle, I don't mean to sound nasty, truly, but unless you are one of those women who never 'drip' (even after orgasm), then he is doing something wrong if you need lube.

Big D, don't go trying to get fancy and warm.

You're Canadian, you thrive on the cold. Lesson learned.

Learn from her example. Don't be a victim of warmth.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Demoiselle, I don't mean to sound nasty, truly, but unless you are one of those women who never 'drip' (even after orgasm), then he is doing something wrong if you need lube.

Unfortunately jack, I don't orgasm, so I couldn't tell you. And getting wet enough is definitely not a problem. There's always wet spots from me on the bed. But honestly, he's huge (for me anyway, since I'm so little, he is quite large though) and I just thought "hey, the wetter the better."

In other news, I have just returned from the emergency room. My mom took the dog for a walk and slipped on a patch of ice, hit her head and blacked out. Not a fun morning. I fell in the same place earlier too, although I only got a few bruises. Not good.

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

Unfortunately jack, I don't orgasm, so I couldn't tell you. And getting wet enough is definitely not a problem. There's always wet spots from me on the bed. But honestly, he's huge (for me anyway, since I'm so little, he is quite large though) and I just thought "hey, the wetter the better."

In other news, I have just returned from the emergency room. My mom took the dog for a walk and slipped on a patch of ice, hit her head and blacked out. Not a fun morning. I fell in the same place earlier too, although I only got a few bruises. Not good.



Salt that shit.

Get new boyfriend.

quote:Originally posted by met_B_A_N_S:

Salt that shit.

I can't find it! My dad can deal with it when he gets home. What an asshole. Yelling at me for taking my mom to the hospital... GAH. That's a whole other thread though.

So, warming lube = no good?

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

I can't find it! My dad can deal with it when he gets home. What an asshole. Yelling at me for taking my mom to the hospital... GAH. That's a whole other thread though.

So, warming lube = no good?

Yuppers.

Go get flavoured lube.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

Go get flavoured lube.

Nuh uh. Already have flavoured lube. It gets super warm just on my hands, AND the taste kinda sucks, don't want it going anywhere near

more sensitive areas.

Pity there's no orgasm lube.

quote:Originally posted by Marchesa:

Pity there's no orgasm lube.

Haha, no kidding eh? I'd buy like 20 crates of it.

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

Haha, no kidding eh? I'd buy like 20 crates of it.





no you wouldn't. i would buy out all the supply

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

Haha, no kidding eh? I'd buy like 20 crates of it.



Ha, ha, so would I. There must be something out there. Someone's got to have thought of this before.

Arn't we all missing the point? She doens't orgasm. I honestly don't know anything about sex and I'm hardly ever in this forum but like.. isn't that a problem?

If he's too big for you that it hurts some time and you still can't orgasm, my keen sense of problematic things and long and extensive experience tells me that you two aren't doing something right

quote:Originally posted by Miluardo:

Arn't we all missing the point? She doens't orgasm. I honestly don't know anything about sex and I'm hardly ever in this forum but like.. isn't that a problem?

I think my lack of orgasm has been previously discussed in the forum. The general consensus: it's my own fault. Mental block or something. I've stopped stressing about it. It'll happen one day, maybe.

The point of the thread was does lube suck or do I suck. General consensus: Both! Hah, I'm gonna stop saying general consensus now...

quote:Originally posted by genericwittyusername:

If he's too big for you that it hurts some time and you still can't orgasm, my keen sense of problematic things and long and extensive experience tells me that you two aren't doing something right

*gasp!* YOU'RE RIGHT! WE HAVEN'T BEEN DOING IT RIGHT AT ALL!

How do you have sex wrong? I'm curious.



[This message has been edited by Demoiselle (edited 01-07-2007).]

Demoiselle, you're not one of Jack's bottled women, are you? Cos that would explain alot..

quote:Originally posted by Marchesa:

Demoiselle, you're not one of Jack's bottled women, are you? Cos that would explain alot..

Bottled women? No...

And explain what?

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

Bottled women? No...

And explain what?



It's from the "worst punishment for S&Mers thread".

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

My answer might surprise some of you and its not of the 'broken bottle in vag' variety (although some of those were horrific :P)

Later on he said...

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

I have inflicted terrible physical damage on women (i wasn't joking about the examples i mentioned).

But the deepest scars i have left weren't the torn genitals.

Pretty twisted shit if you ask me...

Heh, if anyone tried that bottle shit on me, they'd be dead. DEAD. Choking to death on their own genitals and bleeding profusely from the area. FUCK THAT.

Have ye nae tryed the ol' Astroglide from Shopper's D or KY's knock off of Astro in a similar little bottle from the Way of the Safe?

Don't you think Safeway should have their own brand of condoms? "You can't go wrong with condoms from Safeway!'

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

Have ye nae tryed the ol' Astroglide from Shopper's D or KY's knock off of Astro in a similar little bottle from the Way of the Safe?

Don't you think Safeway should have their own brand of condoms? "You can't go wrong with condoms from Safeway!'

Haha, I bet "presidents choice" would be even better...

Nope, this was the first time trying the lube, hopefully the last. I may be persuaded to try it again. The non-warming kind though. Whoever thought that'd be a good idea should be shot in the face.

*makes note to self*

"Invest heavily in orgasm lubricant"

Soon I'll be rich!

I actually like the warming lube, though I have noticed that when I use it I take FOREVER to cum, dont know why. But astroglide is a lot better try that before you write off lube for good, its awesome.

Ummm, silicone based lubricant is generally fine for latex condoms. I'm just saying...

http://www.soundsnaughty.com/products/Nymphorgasmic-cream-1463.aspx

^^^ I'd buy that shit in a second if me not being sensitive enough was the problem. Alas, tis not. And you can get the same effect with cocaine (so I'm told anyway, never tried it, kinda weirds me out.)

Does your boyfriend not beleive in foreplay?

Or is he the kind of ..man who'd buy the 'cupid kiss clitoral stimulator' and put it on deliberately inside out?

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

^^^ I'd buy that shit in a second if me not being sensitive enough was the problem. Alas, tis not. And you can get the same effect with cocaine (so I'm told anyway, never tried it, kinda weirds me out.)

Cocaine would just make you numb, so I'm not sure how that could enhance sexual pleasure. Also, it does a number on your nose, so I can't even imagine the burning it would inflict on the vagina.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

Does your boyfriend not beleive in foreplay?

Or is he the kind of ..man who'd buy the 'cupid kiss clitoral stimulator' and put it on deliberately inside out?

There's definitely foreplay. Sometimes perhaps excessive, but no complaints there.

And I dunno what the second part means.

I hate KY in general, especially the warming crap. It did practically the same thing to me, probably because I'm too sensitive. I like astroglide but it tends to dry out pretty quickly. My favorite is a dimethicone based lube...not sure what it's called

I used vegetable oil once for the bum. The only reason she ever called me back was to tell me she had impacted bowels. Good times.