i can't get a girl since i can't express my emotions to anyone, i have never been able to, i dont even know how to let them out when i am alone. when i was younger i was very affectionate, but over the years i have become less and less, and now i cant even let them out, they only come out when i get drunk and then they all come out at once and i explode then i hurt the ones around me. whenever that happenes its only anger, and i dont like hurting the ones around me. i've tried therapy but it doesnt work since i hate tehrapists since i was forced to goto them when i was little. how do i express the happiness inside of me?

You could start expressing happiness through typing grammatically correct sentences in your posts.

eat estrogen

Pharmaceuticals.

Emotions are a figment of the imagination.

True story.

sounds like narrcisism to me. the trick here is to fake the emotions