So I haven't really dealt with this in full, never reallye explained the whole story or even written it out... bear with me here...

So we were at the Soulive/Talib Kweli concert when he told me. He'd had plenty of opportunities to tell me before, but he was telling me now. I don't really give him much credit for it, because someone would have told me if he hadn't that night--soon. It was as we went out for a smoke that I learned from my best friend that he'd fucked my ex--from his lips, they hooked up once, so i assumed they fucked... he's one of those kindsaguys. I smiled and lied and said it didn't matter.

I was miserable the whole night of the concert. We went back to my house, eventualy meeting up with my ex. My mood just worsened thoughout the night until I told everyone they had to leave. Sleep would not come. The next day, I told them to fuck off. I severed my ties completely.

And then I heard the full story. They'd been fucking since Thanksgiving break. She'd even driven up to his college 2 hours away to fuck him. That tore it. I was pissed as all fuck.

At this point, I'm not talking to either and refuse to be in the presence of either. Unfortunately, most of my friends are friends with them, so it causes a lot of problems for both me and my friends. I've had to leave parties early 'cuz i needed to avoid him.... it seems immature, yes, but this feels like the most intense betrayal ever. They both knew how enamored i still was with my ex--in fact before and during the whole escapade, i'd had conversations with my friend (the one who fucked my ex) about how we'd do anything to be back with our respected exes. Whilst he fucked mine.

Is it wrong of me to be so filled with hatred? To enjoy the fact that both of them are goign through trauma (S--the girl--because she misses having me in her life and A--the guy--because people are finally seeing the shitty person he is)? Am I being immature?

PS- A tried to force himself on a mutual friend of ours who had refused to take sides.

Dude, something similar happened to me once, a couple years back. A friend metaphorically swept my legs out from underneath me, and proceeded to steal the girl I had been quickly falling for. It crushed me, I had so much anger and hatred I couldn't find a way to let it all out. Eventually, I came to a realization -- if she was right for me, it would have worked out; there was nothing I could do about it.

Why let yourself be any more hurt over this matter? She's hurt you, he's hurt you..but there's nothing that can change that now. The best thing--and the sweetest revenge-is not letting it bother you anymore.

Heres the rest of my story:

So my friend starts dating this girl, while completely ignoring me , until we finally sat down and talked it out. By this time I had realized what I told you. He asked me if it'd be alright if I let this girl come over to a small party I was having that night. To be the better man, I agreed to let him invite her.

When she showed up, she met a completely different person. This time it wasn't the formal "me" she had met the few weeks before- which still hadn't completely loosened up. This time it was the "me" that didn't care whether or not I got the girl anymore-I just wanted to enjoy myself. The more I started to have fun by myself, the more she seemed to want to be around me. Until later, we were sitting around drunk doodling on the etch-a-sketch, when she told me she had made the mistake, and chose the wrong guy.

I told her she could crash at my house, if she didn't want to drive home. The rest my friend, is history.

So.. what the moral of the story is-- Revenge comes, whether you try for it or not. You should get over that worthless memory, forgive your friends(eventually), and enjoy your life. What comes around, goes around.

Edit: Sorry for the extremely long post, I am plastered.

I'm not getting exactly what you're saying. Perhaps it has to do with the time of morning or something, but this is what I've got; You're still in love with your ex-boyfriend, your bestfriend hooked up with him and it's upsetting you. Or either, you're a bi-sexual, your current boyfriend hooked up with your bestfriend behind your back...I think it's the first.

So anyways, now that you know where I'm coming from, my advice, or input rather.

In a way, I do think you're being immature. I also think you're attempting to handle it as rational as your mind is allowing you to, looking at your mental state.

You need to realize that this guy doesn't control you and that you really don't have many people in the world. I'm assuming you're at least 17, or 18, this shouldn't be hard for you. Get on with your life. This isn't the first time something like this is going to happen. Somebody new will come along and they'll probably hurt you as well. So what? Keep on keepin' on. Just say to fuck with them and stop moping around. You're making your mindset worse and you're not affecting them in any way. Besides, possibly being making them feel guilty for something that they shouldn't. Perhaps they're meant for each other.

I do think they could have been a bit more empathetic with your feelings, then again, lesson learned. This will make you stronger.

Good luck!

Which would make you...A COMMUNIST!

OK, I'm going to bed.

Um... sylph? I think genericwittyusername is a bloke. And is ex is a girl. But I'm not 100% on that...

Anyway, the whole thing sucks. But you've got to be a man about it (again, assuming you're a guy) and deal with it.

OH, and while I'm at it, you're clearly not that close with your ex (I mean, she is sleeping with one of your mates) so I wouldn't even bother with her. And as for your mate, tell him he was a dog for not telling you, and if something of a similar nature happens again, you'll break his jaw. Then have a beer with him.

At least that's how we usually do it around my part of the woods.

quote:Originally posted by another pint:

Um... sylph? I think genericwittyusername is a bloke. And is ex is a girl. But I'm not 100% on that...

Anyway, the whole thing sucks. But you've got to be a man about it (again, assuming you're a guy) and deal with it.

OH, and while I'm at it, you're clearly not that close with your ex (I mean, she is sleeping with one of your mates) so I wouldn't even bother with her. And as for your mate, tell him he was a dog for not telling you, and if something of a similar nature happens again, you'll break his jaw. Then have a beer with him.

At least that's how we usually do it around my part of the woods.

Thanks for that clarification. I thought that it was a "he" but I wasn't completely sure. I was convinced until the end when it said something about a friend...anyways, yeah

I'll still tell you to man the fuck up!

The poster is a guy, who had a girlfriend, which fucked his male friend - after they broke up. That's what I got out of it.

I think the advice is unanimous. Just say "fuck it" and move on brotha.

First of all, why'd you have to drag me into all of this, and second of all, holy hell use paragraphs and shite.