5char

all of a sudden im hearing people start to blame shit on social anxiety, just like they blamed ADD.

Fuck you, your normal, you dont have any excuses. You shouldnt need, drugs, because if you have to use drugs around her, then shes in love with the drugs, not you.

If you make the decision right now that next time theres an opportunity, youll take it, then next time there is one, you can just literally grab the hand, and ignore what your mind is telling you, even if you feel like a douche.

So whats it gonna be? Make the decision right now, will you just grab it, or will you think about it?

Holy shit your me a year ago aren't you (except i was 15), that is the exact same shit i had. I knew it was just me being shy and its not any kind of disorder so don't worry about that. This is one of the most embarrassing things in my life. I went out with this girl for 4 fucking months and never even kissed her. Partly cos i was shy, mostly cos she was frigid as fuck cos of me being a fat shit at the time lol. Anyway my advice to you is, next time you get the opportunity don't think about it and just grab her hand. But if you're shy about that then next time your walking kind of walk (like when your a bit drunk) a little to the side so u rub your shoulder against her and then after a while of doing that start rubbing your hands together and then just slide your hand on the inside of hers and intertwine your fingers. Sort of start it off and she'll follow suit. I know its easier said then done believe me but once you do get there its a good feeling. Anyway best of luck!

Bottom line: Don't think about your actions or the consequences of them, just do it.

You realise this young lady friend of yours probably isn't thinking "oh heavens i'm glad that ogre hasn't touched me yet!"

She's more likely thinking "why won't he touch me? is it because he thinks I'm ugly? or fat? Or my breats are too big, too small, my nose is not quite right, my ass isn't..."

It probably makes her feel very bad indeed. The longer you don't do anything with her, the longer she'll probably feel like that.

Hope that's some incentive for you. Do something, or this whole thing will go down the drain.

You wally.

Just force yourself, If she likes you as much as you said she dose she won't have a problem with it. But whatever you do don't ask her "Do you want hold hand?" or "Can I feel your breast?" Things like touching a girls breasts must be asked through body language. For example if your walking a long with her start to walk closer to her, if she moves away don't try to hold her hand but if she also moves close go for her hand! If your laying on a bed making out with her just place your hand at the bottom of her shirt and touch her stomach under her shirt, If she tries to change position or stops kissing you then just stop, put if she doesn't keep going until you reach her tits and your in!

Remember the key is body language.

lawl.

LOL! yeah fucking hell sometimes its actually a physical problem.

The way I see it, by not touching her, you're running into the "Lets just be friends zone".

You're just gonna have to grab yourself by the balls and go for it. None of this over analyzing stuff.. just start small.

Here's a few ideas:

Get her to compare hand sizes

Learn to palm read

The kiss test - say something like "Your hair is really soft.. can I touch it?" Lean in, stroke just a tiny bit of her hair. If she smiles, lean in.

You're wasting valuable time..

quote:Originally posted by thatcoolkid:

^We were at the movies once and she was sitting weird so it was hard to try 'n figure out how to get my arm around her so I ASKED. Go figure. And I think I can remeber her looking at me like I had 3 heads but she said "sure".

lawl.

Ha don't worry about that, if anything she'll think it was sweet.

Just sit next to her (without anyone else around) and just move close to her and put your hand on hers and just carry on from there! Sounds cliched but good luck man,

Get close to her. Flirt with her. Make her laugh. Touch her. Get closer to her.

I need some form of chemical enhancement to do anything like that, usually alcohol. Seriously I am just one big wuss =]

Once you've done it a few times, the paranoia or anxiety or whatever will stop.

So grow a set of balls already.

quote:Originally posted by Run_For_Tha_Hills:

Get close to her. Flirt with her. Make her laugh. Touch her. Get closer to her.

Yeah, make it seem casual. It has to escalate, as well. She'll appreciate you taking the initiative. You really have nothing to lose.

What it is.

=CK=

Yeah, it's easy so to just rationalize it, and say 'no' to the situation, but what would life be without the risks?

I say just do it. Even if it is awkward, at least the next time you'll know what works...

Have a few beers if you need to, don't get drunk though.

I once drank some booze to get over nerves meeting a girl. It took a while to kick in and when it did I accidentally pushed her into a bookshelf (I thought it would be funny). Next thing I know I'm sat in a pile of books and paper with a decidedly pissed off girl glaring at me. It took hours to clean up that room. True story.

Ok, here's the thing, you can keep making excuses for yourself and not get to touch her, or you can just grow some and get to touch her.

Yes, it's scary, but it gets a lot fucking easier with time..

Take her somewhere crowded.. like, the busiest place you can think of, like a mall on a saturday.. grab her hand and say something like "I wouldn't want to lose you in the crowd"... Follow that with a smile and she'll think you're completely adorable.

Take her somewhere loud.. so you have to lean into each other and touch each other to speak.. guy I know did this one to me recently.. every time I leaned into him to speak to him, he'd let his upper arm brush against my breasts.. drove me absolutely nuts ..

If you're looking for a non-confrontational place to start touching her, shoulders are good, the upper back is good.. Just lay a hand on her as you walk by.. There are a lot of ways to casually touch someone and work up to things like putting your arm around her or holding her hand.

I didn't read the replies, so I apologise if I'm repeating anyone else...

Anyway, I don't think you should worry too much about it. It takes more time for some people than others to be physically close with another person. I've been sexually active for 3 years, and only recently have I been able to make the first move. It's just really nerve wracking! I guess girls have alot less pressure than guys do.

You shouldn't force physical closeness, it should come naturally. And since she said that she didn't want to be boyfriend and girlfriend anyway, maybe it's a good thing that you've been holding off...

Thanks for all the replies. Thinking differently defiantly helps.

I liked the 'grab your balls and go for it' - to whom ever posted it. That's definetly gonna stick with me.

Literally grab your balls though. Pull them out your fly and hold them there. Then approach her, you'll be set then.

Hey, if she's hanging around you then she must not think you're a tool, right? As long as you haven't become the 'sweet awesome guy friend' and avoid too many vulgar hip thrusts in public places, you're fine. Just think to yourself "She's probably feeling the same way. How would I want her to act toward me if she was?" Then do that. Unless you want her to rip off your clothes and do dirty things to you. Then don't do that. Yet.