You may or may not remember my thread http://www.totse.com/bbs/Forum4/HTML/025826.html

So we got together physically a few weeks ago. One of these times was on New years where she was jacking/sucking me off quite well, it reallly turned me on. Yet i couldn't come. It was her first time doing anything like this so her technique hadn't been really worked out yet, but i wasn't annoyed that she couldn't get me off as i know that first times aren't exactly always perfect.

As it was New year's and we were at someone else's house, there weren't any pressures of time or people walking in on us, i didn't feel apprehensive, insecure about my personal appearance or anything really, so i really don't know why i couldn't get off. (In return i gave her a body-constricting orgasm by the way, im not a selfish lover by any means )

Anyway, this other time, which annoyed me more, was last night. We were home alone at my house and my parents were coming back - we thought - at about 9 oclock. We undressed eachother and were lying on my bed naked at about 8:20. She looked as if she wanted to go down on me and give me a hand but was 'waiting' for something. I asked her what was wrong and after a few minutes she told me that she felt 'scared' in a way. I asked her if it was because she was affraid she wouldn't pleasure me again like last time and she said it kind of was, but there were a few other factors too and it was more complicated than that. I told her that the only way to over come her fears was to face them, and she agreed.

When she began eventually, she told me that she now felt silly for how she had been feeling because touching me felt perfectly natural and enjoyable for her, so i comforted her and said that it was perfectly normal for people to get those kind of feelings.

Anyhow, im kinda going into too much detail here, but i guess it's all relevant? Hmm...maybe...

Well i neared orgams SO many times but i just COULD NOT get there, and i don't know why. REEEEEEEEEEEEE (www.pwned.nl if you want to know the origin of that phrase). She wasn't doing anything badly, and at one point i was getting fed up of being so close yet so far that i asked her if she minded if i finished myself off while she watched/played with my balls or something. Now this is the really annoying thing: I COULDN'T EVEN FINISH MYSELF OFF!!!

What the HELL!?!?

This was probably the horniest thing ive ever experienced (yes, i am still a virgin) but i couldn't get there, dammit!

After a while i just gave up as my dick was deflating

I felt really inadequate tbh, as if i couldn't perform my part well enough or something.

Again in this situation, i didn't feel pressured, on a time limit - as i knew we'd have enough time to get dressed if we heard the front door slam as my parents came back - or anything really.

The only thing i can think of is that i was perhaps too expectant? As if my "waiting" for it to happen made it not happen.

She's staying over at mine tonight, im pretty sure, so we'll most likely have another go at it but i don't know what to expect this time. I'll probably feel nervous that it will happen againt this time so it will make it even worse.

I think that the amount i masturbate may have contributed to it happening both times and believe me, i haven't touched myself in TWO days in preparation.

My morning glory nearly ripped a hole in my duvet this morning ffs!!



HELP!

Christ, go to a goddamn sex therapist already!

quote:Originally posted by azalie:

Christ, go to a goddamn sex therapist already!



This is the best advice. However as i am fairly sure this isn't really a case for a doctor ie isn't a physical problem, I'll leave this open for anyone else who may have some helpful advice.

Yeah it sucks dude, just try to relax and focus on the feeling and how much you like it and let it build up. Thats what works for me.

I'm 16, and I don't think a sex therapist is what im looking for. Well, for one i dont have the money and two it seems a bit like over-kill. These two experiences are really the only two times a girl has ever tried to get me to orgasm, so there's still plenty of time for it to happen. I'm just asking if anyone has any pointers on what im doing wrong?

It's not like im not relaxed when she's touching me, but i guess it might be a sort of "deep-down nervousness".

quote:Originally posted by The Poet Chemist:

I'm 16, and I don't think a sex therapist is what im looking for. Well, for one i dont have the money and two it seems a bit like over-kill. These two experiences are really the only two times a girl has ever tried to get me to orgasm, so there's still plenty of time for it to happen. I'm just asking if anyone has any pointers on what im doing wrong?

It's not like im not relaxed when she's touching me, but i guess it might be a sort of "deep-down nervousness".

Are you on any type of opiate pain medication? I've always had as hell to nut when on any kind of opiate, even a couple of days afterwards is alot harder than usual.

Nope, no medication of any sorts. And im on a break from smoking weed - haven't smoked in about a week, and i don't drink that much either.

Have you actually had sex?

It sounds like you're just getting blowjobs.

I've never been able to get off from a blowjob, ever. Just make wookie already. You wont care that blowjobs dont do it for you after that.

Dude it's all in your head. If you don't want to go to a therapist (which at 16 you really shouldn't anyway) then I suggest being under the influence of something next time you 2 hook up. Alcohol, weed, pills... anything that'll just totally chill you out. You just need to get there once, and it'll be much easier from then on. It's likely just fear of losing control. And don't think about it so much. Next time, just concentrate on how good it feels, and forget about everything else.

Sex therapy is a stupid suggestion if you're still a 16 year old virgin. I wouldn't worry too much about not being able to get off from head / masturbation, happens to everyone. If you still can't finish after you've actually fucked her a few times, then... try boys?

Don't even worry about it, I'm 16 and have the same problem. It will come soon enough, just keeping trying.

Just finish your self off.



/thread

Dude i had the same problem the 1st time i got a bj. it helps to be sitting, trust me. And also just relax and enjoy it

quote:Originally posted by Psychonautical:

Just finish your self off.



/thread

He's tried that and failed already, learn to read the fucking thread before you reply with something spastic and act like you've just solved the thread, you cunt.

quote:then I suggest being under the influence of something next time you 2 hook up. Alcohol, weed, pills... anything that'll just totally chill you out.

Hmm, i find that being under the influence of any of those makes me last a long while when masturbating though. Is it so possible that they will have a reversal effect when my girlfriend is doing the masturbating do you think?

Well man you have it better than a lot of people. At least you can keep your dick hard. I'm 16 too and I already can't keep my dick hard for more than 10 or 15 minutes.

But I would suggest trying new stuff ya know. Tell her to do anything she wants to you no matter how awkward or whatever. Just experiment and find out what really gets you going ya know.

I was in that same situation (plus a lot of sex) for about... 7 months or so. Got used to it, which was sad I suppose, not finishing, but the 3-4 hour sex was good, and she never complained. It's all in your head, trust me, you just need to relax, but that can't be done too well at a concious level. Being a bit tired/intoxicated/etc. turns off a bit of your brain and can help get over that. Good luck.

Get together with her, and instead of letting her start you off, start yourself off. Ask her to watch you masturbate yourself, and maybe her her do the same for herself. Figure out how you get yourself off, and if you can get yourself off with her in the room.

With my first girlfriend, I wasn't able to get off for a long time with her. Not until we sat down and she saw how I got myself off. Then she really started fucking back, and it worked wonders. Although I've yet to get off orally. Ah well, best of luck.