alright I have a friend... well she's kind of more than a friend but she's not my girlfriend. She's very attractive but back when she was young she was bullied because she was overweight. She still has a little bit of extra weight but she in no way is fat.

Every time i say that she's hot/pretty/sexy she denies it. What i want to know is how do i convince her that she is?

Have sex with her!

quote:Originally posted by captain_kirk:

Have sex with her!

trust me... it's on my list of things to do.

but can i get an answer preferably from a girl on how i could go about doing this?

Edit: Make her feel attractive... not have sex with her... i dont need help in that area

[This message has been edited by Khronick (edited 01-05-2007).]

No matter how much you say it she's not going to believe it if shes a self hating bitch (which is most women ). All you can say is 'fine, you dont have to believe me, but you really are sexy/hot/beautiful'. And then leave it at that.

Don't just call her hot/sexy use a lot more descriptive words. saying fuck your hot and saying you look absolutely stunning can be the difference to making a chick feel good about themself. And if she doesn't accept that then tell her that you honestly think shes absolutely gorgeous or something and if she still denies it just say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" I am the beholder and in my eyes you are beautiful therefore you are beautiful to me, you don't have to believe me but thats the truth. If that doesn't work then just leave it at that shes an attention-whore

1. Women are in general psychological incapable of looking in a mirror and seeing the truth.

There is something about reflections and the female brain....they automatically add at least 10 kgs and as many years.

2.There are many ways to 'recondition' a girl's self image. The best one is for you to look at her with genuine desire/love and for her to see it in your eyes.

Thanks Jackketch... i can see why you're a mod for this forum

quote:Originally posted by Khronick:

Thanks Jackketch... i can see why you're a mod for this forum

uhu, but anybody can see that. He one of the few not 100% instable junkies in here

Trust me mate...You'll never convince a truly attractive girl that she is actually attractive.

It's usually the hot ones with a shitty personality who know they're hot who will go around getting guys to tell them how beautiful they are...But then again it's probably the fact that they're hot and know it that makes their personality shitty.

The only way you can get close to your goal is to challenge her.

Pour example:

Tell her you think she's a great looking girl. When she heartily denies it, challenge her.

Ask her out. Make her see that you think she's beautiful enough for you to want to spend time with her, look at her, even hold her hand whilst guys are looking!

If all goes well she may begin to respect herself a little more. But as I said before, she'll never truly believe that she's beautiful!

All the best pal.

All your posts made me feel like so sad because it's so true and even attractive girls make each other feel like shit most of the time. It's so endemic, women compete with who's the thinnest. There's also the fact that most women are internalisers while men are externalisers which means that average, not-so-good-looking men think themselves hot and beautiful women think themselves too fat/hideous to look at.

quote:Originally posted by out2kyl:

... "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" I am the beholder and in my eyes you are beautiful therefore you are beautiful to me ...

I use to use that line alot, but now my girlfriend takes my compliments when I slam them down her throat. But I think she's beinging to catch on, because she drives compliments down my throat... It doesn't feel very good...

if she starts slamming it down your throat just say thanks you are so nice or something to that effect and then change the subject or something, she'll eventually catch on or you can just tell her you don't feel comfortable getting complimented (i for one don't because it feels like I'm fishing for compliments whenever i get one, even though I'm not) I hope things work out well for you. And it is a shame how all the really beautiful women are such bitches to everyone because they know they can twist the majority of men around their finger (by majority of men i mean the shallow ones)

Why would you ever want an attractive girl really feel attractive? If she feels inferior, you have a better chance at porking her, and if you aren't that ugly, she may eat out of your hand.

alot of women have that problem, i deny it every time when my bf says it. its in our nature, and whilst you all say, " at the end of the day, i want a real woman, not a porn one" we know thats true only sometimes she will never feel truly atractive as long as beautiful women are being crammed down our throats. DOWN WITH HOTT WOMEN



[This message has been edited by BloodyCandy (edited 01-06-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Khronick:

alright I have a friend... well she's kind of more than a friend but she's not my girlfriend. She's very attractive but back when she was young she was bullied because she was overweight. She still has a little bit of extra weight but she in no way is fat.

Every time i say that she's hot/pretty/sexy she denies it. What i want to know is how do i convince her that she is?

why of course, sing sean paul's "hot sexy punkie" to her, it WILL get the message across.

Why would you want to?

She'll just get an ego. If she's fine and doesn't know it...

HIT THAT SHIT.

You know you're ugly so this is your one chance, bro, HIT THAT SHIT.

That is all.

I personally feel that girls who are not *model hot* care less about being pretty, and more about being loved/accepted. In a society that focuses so much on outward appearances (see:Hollywood), it is easy for young women to adopt a correlation between being physically beautiful and being loved.

I would recommend that you try to make her feel special, in every possible way. Do nice things for her, be romantic, and surprise her. Leave notes for her in unexpected places. Put roses on her pillow. Give her massages without her asking for them, and don't allow them to lead to sex. Just make her feel accepted for who she is. It may take a long time, but she will come to realize that you appreciate/love her, and that her external beauty is only a fraction of the entire package.

As Jack said, women tend to be overtly negative about their appearance. I suggest you not chase the pot at the end of the rainbow, because there's nothing in it. She may never snap out of it, but as long as she knows you love her, does it really matter ?

we can't tell if she's attractive without any pix...

She's more than a friend, but she's not your girlfriend.

She whines about looking unattractive.

She makes you give her "boyfriend support" without actually giving you anything in return.

Sounds like you're an emotional tampon. You should condition her into only being able to get encouragement and compliments from you when she does slutty shit. You can start this by refusing to acknowledge that she's pretty under normal circumstances.

If she's the type of girl that I think she is, she'll go to farther and farther extremes to get this attention from you. Capitalize on her desperation for self-worth.

If it doesn't work, you can probably sever anyway. She has too many issues.

quote:Originally posted by Thromboembolic:

She's more than a friend, but she's not your girlfriend.

She whines about looking unattractive.

She makes you give her "boyfriend support" without actually giving you anything in return.

Sounds like you're an emotional tampon. You should condition her into only being able to get encouragement and compliments from you when she does slutty shit. You can start this by refusing to acknowledge that she's pretty under normal circumstances.

If she's the type of girl that I think she is, she'll go to farther and farther extremes to get this attention from you. Capitalize on her desperation for self-worth.

If it doesn't work, you can probably sever anyway. She has too many issues.

Lol, I like the way you think.

When i was younger i was teased alot for being over weight but i lost it and am down to 49 kg so i know how she may feel.

and My ex always used to (and still does) tell me im beautiful/hot/sexy etc. and as a female i always denie it. but some of it has sunken in and i m a little more confident. But still i dont see what the fuck he sees in me or why he thinks i am. as i cant see what he sees or likes.

Quit trying to convince her of anything. It's not your job, and she won't believe you anyway. If you want to get with her then constant flattery is not the way to go.

You'll never fully be able to convince her, but if you show her that you care and are attracted to her, that can go a long way. I'm really insecure about how I look, but my boyfriend is really good about making me feel better. I try not to talk about my looks (because that's just seen as fishing for compliments), but my boyfriend makes me feel attractive because he's always copping a feel (lol) or wolf whistling when I undress and things like that.

Try complimenting something specific about her, like her eyes or lips. That'll show that you acutally appreciate her beauty and aren't just like "duh, you're hot!"

i know a similar thing happened between a friend and I, and I would have liked it if he honestly took me aside to talk to me about how he felt. I know we weren't exactly romantic even though we did kiss- at the time all I could say was "what do you see in me!?" and think about all the negative things that could come out of being involved with someone who wasn't really looking for a relationship. He lowered his standards to kiss me and be intimate every once and a while (we never did anything sexual, unless you count making out while drunk)...

the truth is, when a girl has such low self esteem she feels like she's not worth the attention. If you are gentle about it, and more romantic than sexual at first... just speak the way you feel, and if you care about her absolutely that much then you say you think she's beautiful, and you look in her eyes when you do it. other than that you can only hold her and make her feel special

Unless you want to get close to her don't try to help her because theres nothing you can do.

there's no way to convince her of it unless she wants to believe it. if she can't realize that she's what you see her as, you have a very slim chance of convincing her.

my boyfriend tells me all the time that i'm beautiful, but you know...he's kind of biased. he's with me and he loves me and so of course he's going to say that. it's not that i think he's lying or anything but if i think i look bad, i just...can't believe that he thinks i look pretty. it's a complicated little bitch.

"Are you kidding? I get half a boner every time you come within ten feet of me."

saying shes attractive may make you look like you are just saying what she wants to hear.

if i were you, just make eye contact every once in a while and smile.

Didn't read any responses, but my advice is:

Don't. Take advantage of her insecurity and sex her.

quote:Originally posted by Khronick:

How can I convince a girl that she is attractive?

Plastic surgery.

This is sort of irrelevant, but I've noticed that the more time I spend in front of the mirror, the more insecure I feel. If I go out straight from work and just throw my hair up without fixing my makeup, I feel so much better than I would had I spent an hour making myself look nice.

Either way, the only time I think about looks is before I'm around people. If anything, I'm more afraid of acting stupid or something.