I've never been popular with the ladies. I've only ever had one girlfriend, and I've only ever had sex a few times. I've been friends with a few, but never very good friends. In high school I was real quiet, and I rarely spoke to girls. I've always assumed that this lack of luck was becuase no girl would ever want to have anything to do with me.

Then, a few days ago, I learned that one girl who I barely knew in my senior year had a "crush" on me. (I'm loath to use this childish term, but I can't think of any other way to represent the idea) The thing is, it never occured to me that I could ever have a chance with this girl. She was so attractive that it's almost painful. I hardly ever thought aout her, since I looked at her as being waaaaaaaaay out of my league. When I did think about her, it was always, "Some lucky guy gets to be with her", and never "I wish I could be with her". The whole thing raises questions like, "How many times has this happened before?" and "Will I continue on being retarded in the ways of love?"

Basically, I want to know what the fuck if wrong with me. Is this some sort of mental/emotional disorder, or just good old-fashioned lack of self confidence? What can I do to change?

Flame away! Hopefully one or two of you will help me out, too.

Sounds like a lack of self-confidence to me. There is alot of information on treating self-confidence issues on the internet.

EDIT: I just saw your thread title. Get help man!

[This message has been edited by just a name (edited 01-05-2007).]

Obviously a lack of confidence.

yup lack of confidence is the reason.

i have the same problem, I've never seen myself as attractive but lately i've found out that a bunch of girls like me... or at least find me "sexy"

the best way to raise confidence is good ol' alcohol

Hehehehehe...Sounds like me in school!

Dude, I'll give you a great piece of advice my brother gave me when I was younger:

Who gives a shit?!

If you see something you want, go for it. Take a chance.

If it blows up in your face, who gives a shit?! At least you tried.

It helped me amazingly...I met shit loads of women, some of which I believed out of my league but learned that they liked me a lot.

Sometimes I fucked up and made a prat of myself but hey, who gives a shit?!

Trust me fella, just go out there and dive into the world of women.

You may scrape yourself on the rocks a few times but the swim is well worth it!

Yeah I think some humans are just a bit clueless.

I think my radar is borked, too. Last place I worked I was friends with a guy, he was allways nice and friendly. Just friendly, I though. I was a generic female friend. It wasnt till I'd left the company that a colleage told me the guy had had a massive crush on me.



Meh.

you win some, you lose some.

If they cant get the balls to tel you outright instead of assuming that you're a telepath, you're probably better off without them.

And no, you're not destined to be an oblivious fool. It's just that some people are a bit dense, and other people a bit shy.

You'll get there eventually.

quote:Originally posted by Kykeon:

I've never been popular with the ladies. I've only ever had one girlfriend, and I've only ever had sex a few times. I've been friends with a few, but never very good friends. In high school I was real quiet, and I rarely spoke to girls. I've always assumed that this lack of luck was becuase no girl would ever want to have anything to do with me.

Then, a few days ago, I learned that one girl who I barely knew in my senior year had a "crush" on me. (I'm loath to use this childish term, but I can't think of any other way to represent the idea) The thing is, it never occured to me that I could ever have a chance with this girl. She was so attractive that it's almost painful. I hardly ever thought aout her, since I looked at her as being waaaaaaaaay out of my league. When I did think about her, it was always, "Some lucky guy gets to be with her", and never "I wish I could be with her". The whole thing raises questions like, "How many times has this happened before?" and "Will I continue on being retarded in the ways of love?"

Basically, I want to know what the fuck if wrong with me. Is this some sort of mental/emotional disorder, or just good old-fashioned lack of self confidence? What can I do to change?

Flame away! Hopefully one or two of you will help me out, too.

You may feel bad for not taking that chance, but look at it this way: it's better that you did find this out, right?

Take the positives out of this - a bit more confidence in yourself, a bit more self-esteem, and fuck all the questions and self-analysis.

I used to be like this. Now i take a shot of whiskey every day before i go to school, and another one at lunch. Now i'm socially very confident, try it, it's fun.

quote:Originally posted by Kykeon:

I've never been popular with the ladies. I've only ever had one girlfriend, and I've only ever had sex a few times. I've been friends with a few, but never very good friends. In high school I was real quiet, and I rarely spoke to girls. I've always assumed that this lack of luck was becuase no girl would ever want to have anything to do with me.

Then, a few days ago, I learned that one girl who I barely knew in my senior year had a "crush" on me. (I'm loath to use this childish term, but I can't think of any other way to represent the idea) The thing is, it never occured to me that I could ever have a chance with this girl. She was so attractive that it's almost painful. I hardly ever thought aout her, since I looked at her as being waaaaaaaaay out of my league. When I did think about her, it was always, "Some lucky guy gets to be with her", and never "I wish I could be with her". The whole thing raises questions like, "How many times has this happened before?" and "Will I continue on being retarded in the ways of love?"

Basically, I want to know what the fuck if wrong with me. Is this some sort of mental/emotional disorder, or just good old-fashioned lack of self confidence? What can I do to change?

Flame away! Hopefully one or two of you will help me out, too.

I'm in your exact same situation right now... having a pretty shitty week. Winter breaks are not supposed to be this way

Thanks for the suggestions, guys. The wierd thing is, I'm confident in almost every other aspect of my life. I pretty much apply that "Who gives a fuck" mentality to most things, but for some reason I find it extremly difficult to do this with romance. Oh well, I should just keep trying, I guess.

Just believe the fact that you CAN get any woman you want and look for them passively.

I realized today that no woman is ever really that attracted to me until I'm NOT trying to get her. And once I get her, I often make the mistake of getting into things to quickly and sort of screw myself.

It's a new year and I'm doing things differently