This situation is viewed in the teenage years of debauchery, and the so called "party life". If it were for mature adults, then the situation is probably different.

I have a fantastic relationship that is over 10 months. I have complete 100% trust in my girlfriend. But this is the situation.

A kid in my school (senior, we'll call him AL) asked my girlfriend to go over his house on sunday, and watch the Pats VS Jets game. Now like i said, i have complete trust with my girlfriend, and she also knows that any type of infedelity with me is unacceptable, and there is no means for excuse. No matter how drunk, pissed off, or whatever, she knows that if she cheats on me, i'm leaving her. Al had liked her in the past, however he does have a girlfriend, a little more secure, as i will call it, but it doesn't make a big difference since guys and girls both cheat on eachother all the time. I've tired to tell my girlfriend for my expeireice, and other guys that i have asked, that MEN DO NOT WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH GIRLS. When a guy takes the initiative to gauge a converstation with girl for personal reasons, he does not want to be "their friend". Now how i feel is that i do trust my girlfriend, and i know that if he does anything she will leave his house, but the fact is i almost know he will try to make a move directly or indirectly (sexual inuendo, or advancement), and if she really wants to put herself in that situation. I can not tell her what she can or can not do, i have no right to do that. She can make the choice, and the choice i feel appropriate is that she doesn't go.

The situation would be alot different if it were him and a group of guys all hanging out, and they were watching the game and he said "hey why not stop by". But it's just him and her.

well totse, that's pretty much it, advice is appriciated.

you pretty well already know what to do

she cheats u leave

just have a talk with her about the issue talk to him and tell he to stay away from her

You answered your own question.

You trust that she can make her own decisions and have faith that she cares about you, so there's really no issue beyond your being worried.

I'd suggest letting her know that it bothers you because you think he's trying to pick her up. Other than that, there isn't much to say or do.

when i'm with my female friends most of the time i'm thinking of rooting them but that doesn't mean i don't want to be friends with them.

i'd choose the company of my guy friends over the girls any day though if i'm not gonna get any sexy time.

If a girl and a guy are friends then 100% of the time one of them is interested in the other. I bet all you girls are thinking that's bullshit.

"But I have plenty of guy friends and none of them are like that."

Bill, Larry, and Shane all want to fuck you hunny. Seriously.

quote:Originally posted by stiletto:

Do Guys Really Want to be "Friends" with girls?

No. I didn't read the thread, but in my short little life, I have learned this much.

Guy sees girl. Hot girl. Guy wants to fuck said hot girl. Guy approaches hot girl. Is shut down, gently. Guy figures persistence will lead to fucking. Guy persists. Ultimately, persistence leads into the sad realm of friendship and guy is left wondering what the hell happened. Girl is cluless. Guy gets girl drunk and fucks girl. Girl screams "rape!" and guy gets fucked again. In jail. Guy gets out of jail. Kills girl. Goes back to jail. Gets fucked again.

Ok so maybe the last part of that isn't always the case. But the first bit is. We're programmed to hunt for mates. Can't really shut that off, even through the purest, best, non-sexual intentions.

Edit: Ok I read it. If she goes knowing it's just her and him, she = dumb whore. You have a firm grasp on the situation though, which is good. Cheating leads to break up. Good stuff.



[This message has been edited by Demoiselle (edited 01-05-2007).]

Shit wheres the link to that double ladder theory shit at...

quote:Originally posted by stiletto:

This situation is viewed in the teenage years of debauchery, and the so called "party life". If it were for mature adults, then the situation is probably different.

I have a fantastic relationship that is over 10 months. I have complete 100% trust in my girlfriend. But this is the situation.

A kid in my school (senior, we'll call him AL) asked my girlfriend to go over his house on sunday, and watch the Pats VS Jets game. Now like i said, i have complete trust with my girlfriend, and she also knows that any type of infedelity with me is unacceptable, and there is no means for excuse. No matter how drunk, pissed off, or whatever, she knows that if she cheats on me, i'm leaving her. Al had liked her in the past, however he does have a girlfriend, a little more secure, as i will call it, but it doesn't make a big difference since guys and girls both cheat on eachother all the time. I've tired to tell my girlfriend for my expeireice, and other guys that i have asked, that MEN DO NOT WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH GIRLS. When a guy takes the initiative to gauge a converstation with girl for personal reasons, he does not want to be "their friend". Now how i feel is that i do trust my girlfriend, and i know that if he does anything she will leave his house, but the fact is i almost know he will try to make a move directly or indirectly (sexual inuendo, or advancement), and if she really wants to put herself in that situation. I can not tell her what she can or can not do, i have no right to do that. She can make the choice, and the choice i feel appropriate is that she doesn't go.

The situation would be alot different if it were him and a group of guys all hanging out, and they were watching the game and he said "hey why not stop by". But it's just him and her.

well totse, that's pretty much it, advice is appriciated.

Wow, my eyes are bleeding. The first step is to start capitalizing you 'i's and your new sentences. I'm getting shivers just looking at your post.

Moving on...

I agree, most guys do not have the ability to just be friends. For myself, I have maybe one or 2 guy friends, and tons of girl friends. But every one of them has that certain potential. That thing I admire about them that makes them unique to me. So, am I a friend of theirs-yes. Do I believe more is possible- absolutley. Do I think a man can be friends with a girl and have nothing else in mind-no.

Well i talked to her about it and she said that she has hung out with him alone on many occasions, even after she found out he liked her, but he has never made a move on her. She's gonna go go watch football, however i did clue her in on what guys do. You know one of those "(made to seem like a joke)hey why don't you take your shirt of after every touch down, ha ha." So she may pick it up better, and just realize a guys way of trying to pick up a girl. She'll get the hint, and then it'll go on from there.

Like i said, i completely trust her, and i know she wont do anything. It's just the fact of feeling that if this so called person Al does do something, he's invading my territory. A very primitive way of looking at it, but that it the case. It also relates to her becuase recently my ex was doing things that my girlfriend knew was a way of girls trying to get back with guys like asking me if "i missed her" and was making slight sexual indictations like "her boobs were getting bigger". So mygirl friend picked up on this and told me it was the method girls use. I noticed it after a while that she was trying to attract me back to her, but since my girl insured it, i'm positive of it.

Also i read my girlfriends respons to these, and she's pissed that guys are like this. So score one for males.

Well if you trust her enough then there's nothing to worry about. You sound like you do. But if the dude is some jock dickhole thats obviously looking for pussy then why would she go in the first place? Are women seriously that oblivious?

Most guys are aware of the fact that it is extremely hard to be 100% friends with a girl. Sometimes though, you have to just be friends. But no matter what you say or what is true you can't expect that girls boyfriend to believe you because he knows you have a cock in between your legs just like him. There are 3 reasons I find you end up being just friends with a girl; 1. Thats as far as it will go 2. She's a fat ugly skag or 3. Off Limits.

This is the reason I try and distance myself from my guy friends girlfriends, not so much because I want to get with them but because guys know how guys think and I dont want them to think Im hitting on their girlfriends.

It's not hard to be friends with a girl. It's no different than being friends with a guy. I think that some people just don't quite comprehend friendship. Brotherhood and friendship are two different things. Because someone doesn't have a penis you can't be their friend?

Total crap, but you can sit assured that lots of guys do think that they can never be friends with a girl and can't conceive of having a girl as a friend. It is very foolish.

At the moment, I want to fuck virtually EVERY girl I see. So it's basically the standard condition for everyone. I also want to be friends with the girls that I am friends with. I want to have sex with the girls that I hate, too, but it's only because they're girls. See what I mean?

Well, I'm a guy and I like being friends with girls, even if I'm not more than friends with them. I just like the company of girls sometimes, and it does have it's advantages. You end up meeting more girls, and possibly one that you really want to go out with. Or you meet their ex's or male friends. Of course, right now I'm kind of in a relationship with a girl, so I'm not thinking of doing anything with other girls.

But, generally, I would say you got it right on the ball suspecting something is up.

Although, give the guy a chance. Make an effort to hang out with him and causually throw something into the conversation about how if some guy was with your girl, you would stab them, or whatever. Just to hopefully scare him a little.

Girls are just people kids. I know they have vaginas, but they still make great friends.

I enjoy the company and friendship of girls, it usually only happens when the girl is a good friends girlfriend. But the thought that i would fuck the shit out of her is ALWAYS in the back of my head. And if it wasnt for my friends i would do everything in my power to do it.

quote:Originally posted by SomeLowLife:

If a girl and a guy are friends then 100% of the time one of them is interested in the other. I bet all you girls are thinking that's bullshit.

"But I have plenty of guy friends and none of them are like that."

Bill, Larry, and Shane all want to fuck you hunny. Seriously.

Of course, this is complete bullshit. I think it's very healthy to have friends who are girls. It doesn't matter if you want to fuck them but they're off limits. Girls are guys are bound to be attracted to each other, thats the way it is, but surely you should be able to put that to one side and just be thankful that shes your friend and enjoy that.

And plus, she can introduce you to her friends.

quote:Originally posted by Siash:

Shit wheres the link to that double ladder theory shit at...

yeah

i like having girls as friends also.

haha

but yes, i mainly go after the ones i want to duke.

Yeah guys ussualy suck.

Yes. I made my first RL female friend through totse.

I have no sexual desires for her, nor do I see her in a sexual way. Purely friendship. It's a sweet thing.

Only if she's unattractive, or the guy is gay, or a "pussy" (seriously).

That pretty much covers it. Otherwise, definitely not.

I'm a guy and I like having girls as friends. Girls can be friends just as well as guys can, and more often than not, girl friends can help you pick up chicks.

My closest friend is a Female, and a Rather attractive one as well. But We've been through so much shit together, and known each other so long, that shes literally like my little sister. I don't have a single sexual thought about her.

But then again, I guess maybe I don't count because I'm missing a few marbles...

Can't be bothered reading through all of the posts, but here is something from my own experience.

I have an ex-girlfriend who has recently become a pretty good friend. I definitely don't want her. However, her best friend, with whom I have been friends since high school, is really great. I do like her in a romantic type of way, but I don't want to screw up our friendship so I elect to just stay away from it. Unfortunately, she found out I do like her recently, and I haven't seen her since then so I don't know what will happen. I hope it's not awkward.

In summation: you can definitely want to be friends with girls. However, in your case, I'd say he just wants to bang her.

I like having a female friend cause they cuddle you and stuff, even if they're hot and you're pretty ugly they still think you're "cute" and whatnot FUCK otherwise i don't see the point.

EDIT: Fuck you ladder theory!

[This message has been edited by Zinedine Zidane (edited 01-05-2007).]

I have a couple of very good female friends who I don't have sexual feelings for (including my best friend). But generally, they're the exception; I at least see most of my female friends in some kind of sexual context, even if they're good friends as well.

Fact: biologically, the first thing a man thinks deep down when he meets a new woman is 'do i want to fuck her?'

to the OP, you are still young, you probably arnt going to spend the rest of your life with this girl. encourage her to fuck this other guy, then you have leverge for a threesome with another girl involved.

orgies can be spontaniouse, but on the whole, threesomes have to be engineered.

Nine out of ten guys, given the chance, would fuck a female friend.

Uusually regardless of whether they have a girlfriend or their friend has a boyfriend...Whatever.

My brother is the prime example...If he has or has not a girlfriend, he would fuck a female aquaintence without thinking twice!

I just spent six months in a relationship with someone who convinced me that every guy who tries to talk to me ever, wants to have sex with me.

Getting out of it . . . I'm trying to change that perception. Trying to talk to guys as though they don't necessarily want to have sex with me.

So far, it's working.

Also, if you're in a good relationship . . . no matter how hard this guy tries . . . all it SHOULD do is convince your girlfriend that she's better off with you.



[This message has been edited by RiskOfFire (edited 01-06-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by stiletto:

I can not tell her what she can or can not do, i have no right to do that. She can make the choice, and the choice i feel appropriate is that she doesn't go.

There's your problem right there.

Women are kind of like dogs. Lovely things that brighten up your life and lick you, but if you give them an inch they'll take a mile. Sometimes you need to chain them up. They may really want to run to the farmers house next door and chase cows, but they'll appreciate you not letting them because they would've gotten shot.

www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html (http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html)

Just tell her that it really upsets you when she spends time with this one guy alone.

Tell her that it's human nature for you to feel this way and you can't help it.

That's a completely fucking reasonable request. Things will go one of two ways.

She respects you and agrees.

She says no and gets defensive, which means she's hiding something (break up with her).

We're not fucking heavenly beings, we've got genitals and they're really convincing.

She's playing with fire and disrespecting you at the same time.

um, dont forget about exceptions to the rule of guys and girls just soley being friends, as sometimes a guy and a girl could have practically grown up together.

For example, my best friends sister. We were never really close until she hit her teens, as shes only two years younger than me, and once she became a teenager, we got closer. And by the time we got to 17, 19 years of age, the very thought of seeing each other naked disgusts us because well, we've known each other for 10+ years.

My best friend is a guy, and he wants to marry his gf, I do not have a boyfriend, and I hang out at his house all the time.

We do nothing, and havent even thought about doing anything. Hes like my brother and he sees me as his sister.

^incest?

BRB!