Well I told my fiance that she had to choose after a year of the same shit, her dumb friend jennifer or me..

The reason I dislike jennifer

She is 38 has no job

has no boyfriend

encourages my fiance to drink

whenever her and jennifer go out she always embarrasses my fiance by being loud and immature..

And last and final thing that pushed me over the edge.

My dad was needing a friend, him and my mom just split up and my fiance told me to introduce him her jennifer hating it, I did anyway and somehow by the sunrise they fucked, and now my dad feels like shit after a 30+ year marriage to only after a week being separated that happens.

And she always talks shit about me because I don't want to be around her and want my fiance to hang around her.



Anyway I told her tonight that it was her or me I couldn't take her talking shit about me and my family and seeing her do stupid shit anymore, anyway my fiance (Alicia) started crying and said she didn't want to lose me but she didn't want to "give up" on her friend and stop trying to help her become a ("normal functioning citizen" (my words)).

She told me she was going to have a talk with jennifer and tell her that she won't be hanging out with her anymore.....

Am I in the wrong, I do feel bad for upsetting my future wife, but I know its better for everyone in the long run.



Thanks.

Ultimatums rarely ever fix problems. My opinion: Yes, you were in the wrong to make it an "one or the other" situation.

Though this friend is vermin, you have to take the bad with the good. Relationships, especially marriages, depend on being able to work with each other. Even though you hate the friend, you have to accept that your wife does not. Bite your lip, deal with it, and pray to your gods that she will eventually ditch the friend.

Ultimatums are hogshit, and are rarely good in relationships. I would suggest that you state your dislike for this woman, tell your fiance why, and leave it at that. If you can't stand that woman, ignore and avoid her, but respect the right of the person you're involved with to have their own friends.

quote:Originally posted by Hated One:

Ultimatums rarely ever fix problems. My opinion: Yes, you were in the wrong to make it an "one or the other" situation.

Though this friend is vermin, you have to take the bad with the good. Relationships, especially marriages, depend on being able to work with each other. Even though you hate the friend, you have to accept that your wife does not. Bite your lip, deal with it, and pray to your gods that she will eventually ditch the friend.



QFT.

I am so glad Hated One is back.

quote:Originally posted by just a name:

Ultimatums are hogshit, and are rarely good in relationships. I would suggest that you state your dislike for this woman, tell your fiance why, and leave it at that. If you can't stand that woman, ignore and avoid her, but respect the right of the person you're involved with to have their own friends.



Alicia has great friends, I like to see her have fun, and have friends, but this one is an exception.

Remember the whole christian chick threads... Well I asked her to marry me, which sometimes I wonder what the fuck it is I did, but for the most part I love her no matter what.



Her being super christian she says give her a chance she is trying to change..

Example of what happens atleast once a month.

Jennifer and Alicia go out and jennifer meets someone fucks him and does away with him, my girlfriend comes home crying to me and says that she will never talk to her again.

next day well we talked and prayed about it, and I am still going to hang out with her, she knows she did wrong, and she is trying to change...

Then the process repeats every 3 weeks, for the last damn year..

Here comes the best part.

I have this sadistic friend, me and him do the stupidest shit when we are together. She gets so pissed off when I hang out with him... Her words.. You should quit hanging out with him until he finds god and goes to church etc... when I tell her that about jennifer she says that its different....

Anyway I told my life long friend since elementary goodbye, and she has never been happier, I told her that I would never talk to him if thats what she wanted, she told me thats not what she wanted but it would be best, so I did....

quote:Originally posted by camaro_racer88:



Alicia has great friends, I like to see her have fun, and have friends, but this one is an exception.

Remember the whole christian chick threads... Well I asked her to marry me, which sometimes I wonder what the fuck it is I did, but for the most part I love her no matter what.



Her being super christian she says give her a chance she is trying to change..

Example of what happens atleast once a month.

Jennifer and Alicia go out and jennifer meets someone fucks him and does away with him, my girlfriend comes home crying to me and says that she will never talk to her again.

next day well we talked and prayed about it, and I am still going to hang out with her, she knows she did wrong, and she is trying to change...

Then the process repeats every 3 weeks, for the last damn year..

Here comes the best part.

I have this sadistic friend, me and him do the stupidest shit when we are together. She gets so pissed off when I hang out with him... Her words.. You should quit hanging out with him until he finds god and goes to church etc... when I tell her that about jennifer she says that its different....

Anyway I told my life long friend since elementary goodbye, and she has never been happier, I told her that I would never talk to him if thats what she wanted, she told me thats not what she wanted but it would be best, so I did....

Dude, don't be bringing your sado buddy into this equation. She has her friends, you have yours. Best to resolve this thing without bringing the guilt of your old friend, or the guilt of an ultimatum in. I'm telling you man, you have a 3 person consensus here. Let here no how you feel, take an active stance in ignoring this friend, seperate yourself from your girlfriend when she's around, but do not be bitter. She'll come around.

I did I told alicia how I felt about jennifer, she said she understands what I am saying but I'm wrong.... I let it slide for a little while and I started ignoring jennifer and not talking to her and tonight I found out that jennifer asked her if I was mad at her and didn't want her around and she just told her no, i'm just like that...



which pissed me off.

I know what your saying, but I honestly in my heart believe this is the best if not the only way to keep Alicia and I together.

This is silly. It's her friend. As long as she's not imitating her behavior, she should be allowed to keep her friends. Girl relationships run deep - she can't just drop the bond and find someone else. That would be shallow, and hopefully you see your fiance as having relationships that are deeper than "kthnxbai."

Also, you're acting like this woman is a threat to your relationship or something. That's only true if you create tension surrounding it or if they're lesbians! The woman's not going to break you guys up unless there's conflict, which you're creating.

[This message has been edited by lauren7249 (edited 01-04-2007).]

Well let me just say my fiance is well.....



You can get her to do just about anything if you try hard enough... another reason is when her and jennifer hang out and I have to take her home in her car and walk back to my truck so I can get home because she is so drunk, I am getting tired of her crying on my shoulder about it is another reason.

When my drunk she gets really horny and she didn't want to have anymore premarital sex so when we get married is special... well she was all over me and rubbing my crotch, and I gave in and fucked the shit out of her, fell asleep and got my ass chewed out about me being weak and how I shouldn't have given in I should have stopped her..

"I am going to suck you so fucking hard, and I want you to fuck the shit out of me"

what she wanted me to say...

"no thanks sweetie goodnight"

I also did that once and she got pissed sometimes I can never fucking win no matter what I do.

^^^totally irrelevant.

so she's passive. ok. i gleaned that from your original post. you're taking advantage of that by giving her ultimateums. it makes me a little sick, actually.