Okay, now before you set my couch on fire, hear me out.

I'm 18 years old. I'm a normal guy, although I'd like to think I'm more attractive than most. I've never had any trouble with girls. I played football in high school, I'm soon to be joining a fraternity, and I have a lot of friends (many of which are girls).

I've never had a girlfriend before, mostly because I never really cared whether I had one or not. I'm not really what you would call religious. I haven't gone to church in about 10 years, and I consider myself an Agnostic.

Anyways, enough of the background. So basically, I just lost my virginity a couple of days ago. I never really cared who I would lose it to, but I have very high standards in that respect. I have been known to be doing stuff with a girl, and when she asks if I wanted to have sex, I would say "Sorry, but you're not good enough for me." So this girl I lost it to, she's not bad looking, but not the hottest girl I've ever seen either. I wasn't really attracted to her, but I was also horny at the time.

When it was happening, the only thing I thought to myself was "Is this it?" After all I have heard about it, it definitely wasn't as good as I expected it to be. It wasn't really pleasurable. To be completely honest, I have more fun jacking off. But, at the same time, I wondered if this was really worth all the importance people put on it. People argue all the time about sex before marriage, and religion makes even a bigger deal out of it.

To me, it just wasn't a huge enough deal to even consider it for argument. Who knows, maybe it was because she was bad, maybe it was because I was bad. But, it wasn't that great. So, my question to you is this:

Is sex really that enjoyable that it is enough to make you willingly lose your virginity before marriage?

In a word: YES

If done in the right way with the right person. Not necisarily with the girl of your life, or your "soulmate"

But clearly, from your frame of mind, this was not the right person for you at your point in life.

Best advice is to not look back on it, either from a regrets or an antipation frame of mind. It was an experience you had. Build on that to form your attitudes and actions in the future.

There will, indeed, be many more of them to come.

It really depends on the person.

The guy I lost my virginity to was HORRID in bed. The first time I had said "I'm never having sex again."

Finally broke up with him.. The only other guy I've been with was great, and made me decide I like sex quite a bit. Yeah, broke up with that guy too.

Anyways, you'll find the one that makes it worth it.

You might just not get the emotional charge from sex.

I've found that the greatest sex is when you're emotionally in tune with the mate.

You'll learn that there's all kinds of different sex. And it's up to you to find them.

As far as the before marriage... Sex has an enormous role in any intimate emotional relationship. If your mate just isn't compatible with you, then the relationship won't last.

well for each person sex is different...and each person you have sex with will make you feel something different.

i lost my virginity to my boyriend less than a month after we started dating, and i have never once regreted it. sometimes sex is boring, i'll give you that, but more often than not, it is just fabulous - and that is coming from someone who doesn't even orgasm!

so, as long as you find the right person, be it a deep emotional connection or a crazy lust, it will be much better (unless you are defective).

You just weren't attracted to her enough, neither physically or (more importantly) emotionally.

what there all trying to say is ....YOU DID IT WRONG :P Dont worry meybe next time *Presses red button* Wrong noise is made :P

Sex is only good if she's on birth control/clean.

I'd rather just get drunk then do it with a condom on.

Sex isn't all that. "Normal" sex that is. I have some pretty kinky sex with the the current girl I'm seeing. This sex is much better than what I've had previously. I just don't get a charge out of a girl just laying there while I basically masturbate in her vagina.

Even my orgasms are better with this girl, the best I've ever had infact. They've never been this intense. Maybe there is more of a connection with her than I think.

quote:Originally posted by y4m4:

I just don't get a charge out of a girl just laying there while I basically masturbate in her vagina.



You describe it so perfectly.

Ack.. I want to sleep with someone I'm really in love with because up until now.. it's been okayish. Fun, but then again I did blow my load pretty quick.

it is unfortunate that the girl you lost your virginity to sucks in bed.

because sex rocks.

usually it's the emotional connection that makes it so intense. i think a lot of people mentioned that already.

quote:Originally posted by Lord_Alex:

If your mate just isn't compatible with you, then the relationship won't last.

MATE.

This is what we are talking about, folks: Mating.

Also. If you don't like sex, you are doing something wrong. Which is very likely considering you've only had sex once.

I don't think anyone really enjoys losing their virginity but I guarantee you it only gets better.

true, jerking it can feel better, but thats because you know yourself, and you're doing exactly what you like. to me, sex is a way to get close to the person. poth physically and mentally. because i see sex being something special between 2 people, not some random thing. like i could never see myself having sex with someone i wasn't dating. but it definately is great, don't get me wrong. i know i'm glad i didn't wait for marrage.

Sex really shouldn't be that great.

BUT IT IS.

Holy shit man. As soon as I get hints it might be sexy time I go through the roof. Every sense is heightened, all my fears extinguished.

Perfect, perfect peace of mind.

...

...

It's been a while.

quote:Originally posted by TheHammer:



Is sex really that enjoyable that it is enough to make you willingly lose your virginity before marriage?

your problem is you ask the wrong questions

The reall question should be, it bein this non special, why wait for someone special with it

apparently something like 40% of men don't really enjoy sex the first time...the percentage is most likely wrong but i know its quite high.

Sex is great for 2 reasons:

A) You dont have to taste your cum on her mouth

B) If your doing it with the right person, you feel as close to them as you possibly can, like your connected. This is what makes sex worthwhile.

Maybe you're gay.

Maybe you're gay and haven't figured it out yet. I'm not kidding or anything.

edit: ^what a coincidence

[This message has been edited by Father Time (edited 01-04-2007).]

Sex isn't that great. I'm not saying it sucks, but it's definately not as good as ll the hype that's out there. Unfortunately most virgins beleive the hype and are then dissapointed.

There's shitloads of things i would choose over having sex. Waterslides, motorbike riding, those things that go downhill and have water on them and you like slide down them, the list goes on.

quote:Originally posted by TheHammer:

Okay, now before you set my couch on fire, hear me out.

I'm 18 years old. I'm a normal guy, although I'd like to think I'm more attractive than most. I've never had any trouble with girls. I played football in high school, I'm soon to be joining a fraternity, and I have a lot of friends

This is the definition of a gay man. Honestly, you can not become any gayer.

I tell myself on occasion that Im going to stop having casual sex at any opportunity and wait for the next one I love to bend over for me.

Then Im bangin' some girl who's name Im not sure of, but I think it starts with a C, and Im not sure what that mark is but I hope it's not dirt cos that would be kinda nasty but Im bangin' her anyway and it's great because I'm about to aimlessly shoot my seed in the most pleasurable way.

Sure, sex with a loved one is a totally different experience... but lets not down-play fucking some random chick for the sake of it.

Depends on the person. Most people go crazy without it and are like, "omGz0rz, if I don't have sex I'm going to die!"

I've had sex and done shit with girls and personally, last time I did anything with a girl was 3 years ago. Do I care? Not in the least. I'd rather watch porn then have a girlfriend ANYFUCKINGDAY and that's not a joke. In fact, a friend was trying to get to me to ask for his friend's (who is a girl) # cause she really likes me. Know what I did? NOTHING. I dunno, I just simply don't care about sex, especially any relationships and I feel lucky, like I don't need to waste time on someone else and spend money on someone else simply to stick my penis into a vagina. I wish that I never even had sex one time I did so I could be a 40 year old virgin. Why? Well, it pisses people off that someone is a virgin at that age and I love pissing people off so it works out in the end.

Eh sex is pretty good... but coke is better in my opinion. Although, i do have a habit of replacing the things lacking in my life with drugs and alcohol...

Edit: I'd rather be in a relationship in which i realy loved someone than having meaningless sex.

[This message has been edited by genericwittyusername (edited 01-04-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Testament:

I wish that I never even had sex one time I did so I could be a 40 year old virgin. Why? Well, it pisses people off that someone is a virgin at that age and I love pissing people off so it works out in the end.

Interesting

Well it seems the majority of you think sex is better if there is an emotional connection. I've always thought I'm going to wait until I find someone worthy enough. After passing up a few chances, I'm thinking more and more that this is a good thing.

When I first did it, I also realized it wasnt everything I thought it would be. Even if there is an emotional connection, it still isnt what I thought it would be like when I was in my early teens. The dissappointments in life will only get worse dude. In contrast, I was expecting blow jobs to be as explosive as they are either. Seriously... blow jobs, look into them. There are two types of women in the world, girls that like giving blow jobs and girls that hate giving blow jobs.

You find someone that likes giving them and knows some tricks that most dont. It will definately make up for this dissappointment.

'having sex' and 'making love' are two very very different things.

having sex is simply to alleviate horniness.

making love is expressing your feelings for the other through sex.

enough said.

quote:Originally posted by Testament:

I wish that I never even had sex one time I did so I could be a 40 year old virgin. Why? Well, it pisses people off that someone is a virgin at that age and I love pissing people off so it works out in the end.

LOL, we think the same way! You're the only person I've ever met who expresses it exactly the way I do!

Were u wearing a condom?

fuck condoms.

real sex is what theyre talking about

Sex is more fun mentally than it is physically.

quote:Originally posted by TheHammer:

...

So this girl I lost it to, she's not bad looking, but not the hottest girl I've ever seen either. I wasn't really attracted to her, but I was also horny at the time.

When it was happening, the only thing I thought to myself was "Is this it?"



[This message has been edited by 1 4 the 4 1 1 (edited 01-05-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Originally posted by Testament:

I wish that I never even had sex one time I did so I could be a 40 year old virgin. Why? Well, it pisses people off that someone is a virgin at that age and I love pissing people off so it works out in the end.

LOL, we think the same way! You're the only person I've ever met who expresses it exactly the way I do!



haha nice. Yea my friends basically say all the time, "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!!?!" When we go to a party and they are like, "omGz0rz, are girls thereEE?E?" I am always in the corner basically, "Meh, just hope I have a good time doing whatever I do." It's honestly a nice thing to have.

Yes.

Of course sex is great, but I never understand why people build it up into some big deal.

I love sex. I love it more than most things. I love it more than liquor and cake and driving dangerously combined. I love sex. When I wake up in the mornings I just lay there for a few minutes and think about the last prick I had in my hole, and it's always good, it's always fantastic.

Depends entirely on who you're with, and your connection with them, emotionally/mentally. Your don't sound very into that girl at all, emotionally or physically, so that's why it sucked.

For the first time in about 2 months, I had sex with the girl I love, and that time ranks in the top 10 moments of the last year, easily. It's not the physical side of it, it's the connected-ness, closeness and so on that makes it what it is.

I don't think I mentioned how much I truely love sex. I mean, I was just thinking about yesterday when I went for a drive with my friend. Listening to Bob Marley, having him cum and press his body against mine. It was so warm and powerful and I felt safe and passionate. Damn, sex is fine.

Well the story was bull shit, however, it just sounds like sex wasn't what you thought it was going to be like, it might have had something to do with the fact your 25 and probably over weight, and that you were probably doing it with a 30year old chick who was also over weight.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

Of course sex is great, but I never understand why people build it up into some big deal.

That is because you are asexual. On top of that, I love how all these girls in here keep repeating how sex is such an "emotional charge". Lol, fucking bitches.

quote:Originally posted by captain_kirk:

I love sex. I love it more than most things. I love it more than liquor and cake and driving dangerously combined. I love sex. When I wake up in the mornings I just lay there for a few minutes and think about the last prick I had in my hole, and it's always good, it's always fantastic.

I hate people that drive dangerously. I hope you crash and miraculously fail to hurt anyone else and learn your lesson.

Roads aren't your playground, fuck off.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

That is because you are asexual. On top of that, I love how all these girls in here keep repeating how sex is such an "emotional charge". Lol, fucking bitches.



not ALL these girls have!!

neither cirk nor myself did. i said you need to be with the right person for it to be great, but i also said that the 'right person' can just be someone you have a sexual attraction to.

personally, i don't get any emotional charge from it. i never feel even more in love after a round with my guy, just sleepy and drained!

If your doing it with a girl that you really like or even love then it is fantastic.

oral is better than sex but thats just me

You my friend, are gay.

try doing her in the butt

Hmm. Practice makes perfect, I suppose. And if not perfect, at least better. I think you should reserve your judgement on sex in general after doing it at least a few more times.