I just dropped Euda off at the airport. As far as we know, it will be at least 10 weeks before we see each other again. It was so hard saying goodbye to him. I've been thinking about the distance/time apart and wondering if it will ultimately prove to be beneficial or detrimental. We have strong intentions of moving in together when I get back from Germany at the end of March. (This was rabbitweed's suggestion from my earlier thread. Thanks dude. )

In the meantime, I would like to hear from totse members who have had distance/time apart early in their relationships. Did the old adage of "absence makes the heart grow fonder" apply? Or did the time apart early in your relationship put a damper on its development? Keep in mind that we will try to move in together soon. (The main problem is his Canadian citizenship in America.) Suggestions, stories, and general opinions are welcome.

my boyfriend and i don't live too far apart, but it's a good 2-3 hour journey with ferry and the like. the anticipation of seeing him is nice, and the time when we're finally together is amazing. but i have to say, walking away from him kills me every time. i spend the whole trip home fighting tears and i just feel awful inside. the time in between seeing him isn't so fun either. it feels like i'm just killing time until the next trip. i mean i go on and live life and stuff, but i think everyone feels that initial reaction of loneliness.

quote:Originally posted by YouLookFourteen:

my boyfriend and i don't live too far apart, but it's a good 2-3 hour journey with ferry and the like. the anticipation of seeing him is nice, and the time when we're finally together is amazing. but i have to say, walking away from him kills me every time. i spend the whole trip home fighting tears and i just feel awful inside. the time in between seeing him isn't so fun either. it feels like i'm just killing time until the next trip. i mean i go on and live life and stuff, but i think everyone feels that initial reaction of loneliness.



How long is it between your visits, usually?

What you really should be worried about is poor Euda getting raped by the man girls back home that want his inner creamy core.

Seriously, you gave him a pair of your panties so he could take them out and go "THESE ARE MY PANTIES GIRLFRIEND'S!! GO AWAY PLEASE!"

Yeah, you'll be fine. Just stay in contact online, and you'll get though it hun.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:



How long is it between your visits, usually?

not even really that long...about 3 weeks most of the time. which is nothing compared to 10 i guess.

Oh man, having to physically leave Zoe was the shittiest thing ever. God I miss her

Oh and I think my idea would've been move into the same town or city, not move in together...but hey whatever works for you.

As for how your relationship will progress? hmmmm... I suppose it was a very new experience for both of us to talk to someone on the net, meet them and fall madly in love with them, and have then have to leave after all too short a time.

It has been rocky at times, caused mainly by communication problems. Instant messengers are a crap medium and Zoe is rarely able to be away from prying ears when we're having a phone conversation, which doesn't help. Sometimes the distance thing really does get to us, probably her more than I.

But she's been the perfect person to have for when things aren't so good, and even though I've been a dick sometimes I hope I've been of some help to her as well. We still love each other and we have a date set, so things are good.

Just keep each other informed about your lives and be there for each other, and hopefully you'll be fine.

quote:Originally posted by YouLookFourteen:

not even really that long...about 3 weeks most of the time. which is nothing compared to 10 i guess.

actually, 3 weeks is not too far off. it's 1/3 of the time i'll be away, and this is probably only a one time thing anyway, at least hopefully. it's good to know you guys make it work. makes me feel better.

This thread makes me happy that my gf that lives 5-10 minutes away. We're together like all the time... But that probably sorta makes you appreciate eachother and the time you have together less.

First of all - Euda is moving to America... lawl hahaha



Distance sucks, done it far too many times to recommend it, infact I think it's a very very BAD idea unless both parties are fully prepared for the long haul. It's far more harder then you realise.

Abstances makes your dick shrink

My only long distance relationship ended in blackmail and heart break with anti tank missles from a girl in Russia... Moral of the story is...Dont lie to a girl who can find your email and contact you again

Yeah...saying goodbye sucks, especially when you've got an 8 hour drive ahead of you and atleast a couple of months before you get to see someone again... The drive home seems to take twice as long.

I hate this topic. It's a sore spot for me, but I'm convinced it CAN work. I think it was..two..relationships ago, I ended up in a long distance relationship. 6 hours apart. It ended, and -very- badly. The biggest key to the long distance thing I can honestly suggest is time without one another. Talking everyday and emailing/IMing 5/6 times a day is awesome, but it's very draining and really limits you both. I honestly believe in the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" addage. I think so long as you both remember what you mean to one another and dont ever stop.

Euda. You were one of the people who helped me keep SANE during that shitty relationship ending and I wish you the best in the world bro. You're a good, smart guy and you deserve the best.

Lauren. I really dont know you, but by your posts you seem to be a solid, good girl. Treat him right and let US know if he fucks up. You guys be happy together.

-Val

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:

First of all - Euda is moving to America... lawl hahaha[...]



One more Canadian... Now for a Kiwi...

...

quote:Originally posted by Valmont:

The biggest key to the long distance thing I can honestly suggest is time without one another. Talking everyday and emailing/IMing 5/6 times a day is awesome, but it's very draining and really limits you both. I honestly believe in the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" addage.

Thanks for the advice, Val. I'd like to know why emailing too often was a problem. Was it that you felt obligated, and ended up spending too much time online? I can understand this. But I think that keeping in touch pretty often is good to keep the connection going.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

Thanks for the advice, Val. I'd like to know why emailing too often was a problem. Was it that you felt obligated, and ended up spending too much time online? I can understand this. But I think that keeping in touch pretty often is good to keep the connection going.

It was kind of that. But it was also the constant nervous anticipation. Refreshing the mailbox alot to see if there was new word, obsessing over when we'd get emails. It's also the nervous anticipation of coming in from being out all day...and having no email. It really created a LOT of stress.

-Val

I didn't read any responses, so this is all re your original post.

My ex and I dated long distance for just over a year, seeing each other for a few days ever couple months. It was really hard being apart, but in the end we got so much closer because of being able to just say anything considering we didn't have to look at each other to say it. We ended up moving in together after a year and a half, roughly.

She only ended up an ex because she wanted that (just before this Thanksgiving) after 7 years of being together. Seriously, the distance sucks, but it's totally worth it in the end. Even though we broke up, I wouldn't give up our time together for anything else.

I'm in the same situation. I won't see my girlfriend for about 10 weeks and it's fucking hell. We said goodbye to each other two days ago and it was awful. That last hug and kiss and then the turn around to walk onto the plane. Almost too fucking much. I just gotta take it one day at a time I guess, but at least when i finally see her it will be an amazing time.

Absence turned me into a delusional, melancholy wreck, but I was never in a relationship.

I can only hope the best for you.

[This message has been edited by RedWasp (edited 01-04-2007).]

Well, I've been out of the loop for the people here so this is a bit surprising. I suppose a congratulation is in order.

To answer your question, whether or not distance will strengthen or weaken a relationship really depends on the person. Though I cannot speak for Euda on a personal level, I'm sure the trial will be a strength for you.

quote:Originally posted by Hated One:

Well, I've been out of the loop for the people here so this is a bit surprising. I suppose a congratulation is in order.

To answer your question, whether or not distance will strengthen or weaken a relationship really depends on the person. Though I cannot speak for Euda on a personal level, I'm sure the trial will be a strength for you.



ZOMG HATED ONE!!!!! You're back!!! I was thinking about you like, yesterday. Sooo happy to see you. And yes, Euda and I are together.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:



ZOMG HATED ONE!!!!! You're back!!! I was thinking about you like, yesterday. Sooo happy to see you. And yes, Euda and I are together.

Well I'm glad to hear that. You very much deserve someone to be happy with.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

I just dropped Euda off at the airport. As far as we know, it will be at least 10 weeks before we see each other again. It was so hard saying goodbye to him. I've been thinking about the distance/time apart and wondering if it will ultimately prove to be beneficial or detrimental. We have strong intentions of moving in together when I get back from Germany at the end of March. (This was rabbitweed's suggestion from my earlier thread. Thanks dude. )

In the meantime, I would like to hear from totse members who have had distance/time apart early in their relationships. Did the old adage of "absence makes the heart grow fonder" apply? Or did the time apart early in your relationship put a damper on its development? Keep in mind that we will try to move in together soon. (The main problem is his Canadian citizenship in America.) Suggestions, stories, and general opinions are welcome.



off topic, but:

How can you be in Germany, yet attend Stanford? I assume you're studying abroad?

Doing the Stanford in Berlin program.

Hated One, thank you.

I dated a girl once who moved from Michigan, where I am, to Oregon. She ended up being there for about 7 months, before she moved back. We saw each other 3 times in those months. We both cheated, and we've both forgiven each other for it.

Anyway, she had planned to stay there for a year, but circumstances forced her to move back early. The girl she was living with out there turned into, for lack of a better term, an absolutely crazy manipulative bitch. I flew there and drove back with her. The week we spent driving across the country was probably the best of my life. I never wanted it to end.

That was in July. We're still together. Things are... ok. To be perfectly honest, I sometimes think that its run its course and its time to move on, but I have a hard time ending it when I've invested such a huge amount of time and effort and money into this relationship.

I'd say that if the two of you are meant to be together, then the distance shouldn't stop you. If you're not meant to be together, the distance will make it much harder to realize that.

One more thing I want to add. Of the three visits we had, I went there twice and she came here once. Walking away from her at the airport when it was time for me to leave was very hard for me. Watching her walk away from me was a million times harder. I feel for you, I really do. If you ever need somebody to complain to and compare experiences with, my AIM is r1bradytfr. Might be good for both of us

I'm not going to see my fiance for over a year.. I dropped her off at the bus station last night and it was hard saying goodbye. I know what you going through its always good to spend time with friends and keep busy it makes time go by faster.

quote:Originally posted by Hated One:

Well, I've been out of the loop for the people here so this is a bit surprising. I suppose a congratulation is in order.

To answer your question, whether or not distance will strengthen or weaken a relationship really depends on the person. Though I cannot speak for Euda on a personal level, I'm sure the trial will be a strength for you.



Haha, they ALWAYS come back.

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:



Haha, they ALWAYS come back.





Tired of me already my dear?

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

Doing the Stanford in Berlin program.

Hated One, thank you.



Ahh, how is it? I've seen the bulletins for Stanford at my college. (community college) For summer terms or w/e.

quote:Originally posted by RogueWarheart:

Ahh, how is it? I've seen the bulletins for Stanford at my college. (community college) For summer terms or w/e.

Great place in many ways. Where are you attending?

When exactly did this lauren and euda thing come about? There was nothing, and suddenly you guys are in looove. I think I missed something.

Anyway, the years go fast but the days go so slow. It'll be hard, but it'll also be over before you know it.

HATED ONE! great to see you back man. make sure you stop by MSN some time.

quote:Originally posted by Hated One:

Tired of me already my dear?

Of course not.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

Great place in many ways. Where are you attending?

(Portland, Oregon) Clackamas Community College. I plan to transfer to a four year school to complete my BA within the next year or year and a half. I'm not sure on a major, but likely Political Science.

I wouldn't go to Stanford for many reasons, including my first year (last year) was B's & C's so I doubt I'd get in. (3.714 GPA- this year), plus my father attended Cal and I wouldn't join the arch rival!

I just thought I'd ask since you go there and I always see the "study abroad" bulletins at my college; Stanford being one of them.

Jesus christ lately this board reminds me of fucking Cosmo.

quote:Originally posted by Garrett:

Jesus christ lately this board reminds me of fucking Cosmo.

Then leave?

quote:Originally posted by Garrett:

Jesus christ lately this board reminds me of fucking Cosmo.

heh...yeah.

It was very difficult to leave. Ten weeks will pass for lauren like the blink of an eye, with any luck; I'm sure Germany will be an all consuming joy of culture, study, and general enjoyment. I love lauren and I'll see her soon; we'll talk while she is in Germany whenever she has the time or urge, I'm hoping she'll be having lots of fun.

I can't see anything other than citizenship as an issue; there are no problems, only solutions.

In all fairness, toraton put the thought into my head far before rabbitweed.

You say goodbye and I say hello.

Hello, Hello.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

It was very difficult to leave. Ten weeks will pass for lauren like the blink of an eye, with any luck; I'm sure Germany will be an all consuming joy of culture, study, and general enjoyment. I love lauren and I'll see her soon; we'll talk while she is in Germany whenever she has the time or urge, I'm hoping she'll be having lots of fun.

I can't see anything other than citizenship as an issue; there are no problems, only solutions.

In all fairness, toraton put the thought into my head far before rabbitweed.

You say goodbye and I say hello.

Hello, Hello.

Euda, intresting haven't talked to you in a while I never knew this was going on .

Anyway congrats I guess?

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

It was very difficult to leave. Ten weeks will pass for lauren like the blink of an eye, with any luck; I'm sure Germany will be an all consuming joy of culture, study, and general enjoyment. I love lauren and I'll see her soon; we'll talk while she is in Germany whenever she has the time or urge, I'm hoping she'll be having lots of fun.

I can't see anything other than citizenship as an issue; there are no problems, only solutions.

In all fairness, toraton put the thought into my head far before rabbitweed.

You say goodbye and I say hello.

Hello, Hello.



ahhh, this optimism and can-do attitude is one of the many qualities i cherish in Euda.

quote:Originally posted by RogueWarheart:

(Portland, Oregon) Clackamas Community College.

Well, hallo there. I attend PCC, also out of Portland.

As for this thread, I'm with FireKitty. This came out of left field...or so we think.

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, but in a positive light.

I find myself blindsided by it, but in a good way. I believe that it is a pleasing surprise to all involved.

absence makes the heart grow fonder but the presence of a lover strengthens it...

Just soemthing i picked up

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, but in a positive light.

"She should have died hereafter;

There would have been a time for such a word.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury

Signifying nothing."

(Macbeth V.5.17-27)

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, but in a positive light.

I find myself blindsided by it, but in a good way. I believe that it is a pleasing surprise to all involved.



Well, then...I wish you both all the happiness that love can bring.

As for distance and the heart, it CAN be good, but only for a while. If you're apart too long, it won't last.

Being in the Navy taught me this. It is the reason why the love of my life and I just couldn't be together. I saw too many marriages destroyed by the 9-12 month deployments (spouses leaving on ships), and I wasn't willing to put myself through that.

I think 10 weeks is completely doable. She'll be back, and the happiness will continue.

quote:Originally posted by Digital_Savior:

I think 10 weeks is completely doable.

Thank you.

I appreciate the support and hope everything is going well with you.

I don't see this time as an obstacle, hopefully lauren is having a great experience and will fondly remember the things she learned and the fun she had in Germany. It just leaves a nagging in my heart until I see lauren again. The kind of nagging that reminds me that no matter how much fun I may have, it would be enhanced by having her experience it with me. This isn't a great feeling, but it does nothing other than encourage me; to me, it's a new feeling.

[This message has been edited by Euda (edited 01-07-2007).]

God, I hated the goodbyes... The small number of times than my ex and I said goodbye to each other were probably the only times Ive walked through a busy building crying like a sissy little bitch, but without caring in the slightest.

We were only together a few times a year, but usually for at least a month at a time. The first time we met up, she came here and the break was only planned for a short time, as we didn't know how we'd hit things off. The first time I waved goodbye was hard, but we had already booked flights for a few weeks down the line... at that stage a minute apart seemed like an eternity.

The second time, we got to the airport but purposely missed the plane. It was stupid and immature, but we got another week together out of it... saying goodbye that time wasn't quite as hard, as we were very much prepared. Most of the time, we kinda ignored the date looming on the calendar.

The first time I left her house, I was wearing sunglasses walking through Toronto airport in the middle of the night! Probably still looked better than bloodshot, tear-filled eyes. During this visit, we had planned to move in together and were generally looking forward to life... although we realised that it would take time.

So we came and went as usual, leaving was never easy but never as hard as the first time.

Then, the last time... well, being stuck in a country with no way home, waiting weeks for a plane when you want to go now. We fought the whole time, almost ready to kill each other. When I was at the airport, I was thrilled at finally getting to go home. We kinda made up soon before I left, but broke up for good not long after, over a heated phone-call... that was 13 months ago now.

Sorry... I was rambling.

Of all the things I'm eligible to say, I don't really know what to say. We're about 520 miles apart, and I visit her once every month if I have the money, but now, I don't have any money, and I'm going to miss our 1 year anniversary. I'm so pissed off at myself.

Sorry to lump childish frivalities into this, but:

just SAY you two get married and have kids, are you going to tell your parents and children that you met on a website that's on goverment watchlists for terrorist activity (>_> supposedly <_< ) in a forum where how to persuade catholic school girls to have sex at 15 and anal sex are two of the most common subjects, or just that you met on the internet?

It's something I wondered, not in a bad way and I'm not criticising you or anything (I think it's really good for both of you), it's just that these things enter the minds of 17 year olds.

[This message has been edited by Strakynyar Krongoth (edited 01-07-2007).]

AS i've mentioned before, i do have a boyfriend. He visited for 4 days... which is not long enough i'll tell yo uthat. it was the first time we met eachother and it was good. He proposed to me on my birthday...and unfortunately had to leave the followign day. We're rather far apart. He lives in Virginia, and I live in california. When we had to drop him at the airport, my dad said i looked like a " sad, wet puppy". I was originally goingto stand at his gate and watch the plane take off and stand there. but due to securety, i couldn't get past the lobby without a ticket. All iremember doing was hugging him, and feeling him hug me as tight as he could. we really didn't say good bye, just 'be careful'.Dammit... I miss him os much... i'll hopefully see him again in june or July...if i can get the funds together.

quote:Originally posted by Strakynyar Krongoth:

just SAY you two get married and have kids, are you going to tell your parents and children that you met on a website that's on goverment watchlists for terrorist activity (>_> supposedly <_< ) in a forum where how to persuade catholic school girls to have sex at 15 and anal sex are two of the most common subjects, or just that you met on the internet?

I've never asked my parents where they met. I've never been curious about it. Maybe kids of mine will have the same sense.

Lauren, you gots some 'splainin to do.

Or i can do it if you want.

I'm in a similar enough situation. I had to say the same kind of goodbye yesterday. It hurts, it's incredibly painful. Hopefully I'll see her again in five weeks, but normally it's a couple of months between visits. I can't say much except that if you really, truly love each other, it'll all be completely fine.

One of the questions you asked, actually... the distance and time apart hasn't slowed anything down. In person, it's like we leap from one encounter to the next, we know each other so well and talk to each other so much in the interim. We just complement each other in person, and nothing is awkward or strange. If we'd spent every day together in our relationship, that side of our relationship would be pretty damn similar to how it is with the infrequent meetings.