Depression has bogged my life down to a very fine point. Don't ask me to explain that mess, just know that it's true.

And I'm trying. I get up. I bring daughter to school. I'm trying to appeal my loss of scholarship. We're trying to workout (hard finding a place with no money) and I'm uh.. also trying to bathe daily (it can get hard).

Still depressed. This is my lowest low, yo.

Gets worse before it gets better. Drink plenty of coffee, try not to think too much and find someone to love. Freinds can help a lot,but make sure their good freinds before you go to them for help. Don't turn to alcohol or drugs like i did, it helps but it's not worth it. Talk to people, get your problems out in the open and try and see things from other peoples point of veiw. Find something to be passionate about, and pour everything you have into that. It pays off.

That's all the advice this guy has for you.

Also affecting my relationship with wife and kid, so.. S&A.

Honestly, I'm feeling kind of depressed myself. It's not just the fact that I was dumped, it's the fact that my entire life has to change because of that. The area I live in, having no job at the moment, and having to get new friends. Life just feels completely surreal to me at this point.

I think the only reason I wake up every day is because I know that it can only get better. Also the fact that I have nothing attached to me so I can literally go anywhere and do anything. I want to make at least some money first, though.

For you, I would say just live for your daughter now. I think it'd be a great motivator if I had someone completely dependent upon me. Make her joy your joy!

The NHS treats me to anti-depressants when I need them.

Welllll? I just ignore you now as just another whiny biatch.

You wanna get all hot about going to the gym? As if! I gave you excercises you can do at home or in your neighbourhood? Do you do them? Even try them?

No. You prefer to sit with your sweet thumb up your sweet bum a-moanin' with the homo-pleasure... Then you post here & moan some more.

Piss off Mona...

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

Welllll? I just ignore you now as just another whiny biatch.

You wanna get all hot about going to the gym? As if! I gave you excercises you can do at home or in your neighbourhood? Do you do them? Even try them?

No. You prefer to sit with your sweet thumb up your sweet bum a-moanin' with the homo-pleasure... Then you post here & moan some more.

Piss off Mona...

Yeah, maybe I am. Or maybe I'm not.

I dunno about you and what you consider important, but many people wouldn't want to take the chance of seeing one like them die. Unless you're too like me and WANT to see me die.

If that's what you've got to say, why say it? It does nothing and isn't even cool anymore.

EDIT: While I'm barely able to form a complete fucking sentence, I'm at least trying. I still have no intentions of sending out bad vibes and the like, and want to preach of <3. I'm just shit-deep in this demon that's got a hold of me.

Sorry yo, but I'm in no mood to be hurt by the likes of you, and it's getting harder to ignore.

[This message has been edited by HandOfZek (edited 01-03-2007).]

I love y'all, but I think I have to love me first for this to work out.

depressed people piss me off. Like what the fuck is so wrong? nobodys life can be THAT bad.

You have a place to live, you have internet/TOTSE, you have a daughter, you have a wife?

if your just pissed of about money, then use your brain and get some. Talking about wanting to die because you have no money, fuck give me a break

Sit on your butt plug & love yourself silly!

quote:Originally posted by boozehound420:

depressed people piss me off. Like what the fuck is so wrong? nobodys life can be THAT bad.

You have a place to live, you have internet/TOTSE, you have a daughter, you have a wife?

if your just pissed of about money, then use your brain and get some. Talking about wanting to die because you have no money, fuck give me a break

You just haven't taken the time to understand. I don't hate yuh for it but please- stay out of my way when I snap and shit all over totse.

EDIT: Not to say that I'll shit on it, just slightly spam like I am now. A good many of yuh consider it shit.

[This message has been edited by HandOfZek (edited 01-03-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by HandOfZek:

You just haven't taken the time to understand. I don't hate yuh for it but please- stay out of my way when I snap and shit all over totse.

EDIT: Not to say that I'll shit on it, just slightly spam like I am now. A good many of yuh consider it shit.



Go ahead, maybe they will ban you.

quote:Originally posted by HandOfZek:

You just haven't taken the time to understand. I don't hate yuh for it but please- stay out of my way when I snap and shit all over totse.

EDIT: Not to say that I'll shit on it, just slightly spam like I am now. A good many of yuh consider it shit.





Ive helped two friends get out of deep depression, it wasnt that fucken hard. They were having thoughts of suicide, hated there family, hated ME, were lay around all day, Went to work for 8$ an hour for a couple hours a day. Well all it took was a good yelling at them.

Something along the lines of grow up you fucken retard, life is what you make of it, dont expect handouts because your not happy. Then i got them making more money then there parents and they were happy. There both happy fucks living on there own, saving money, partying, and getting girls.

So for them it was obviosly the lack of money and success. WIch i think is the #1 cause of depression for everybody. If thats the case for you FIX IT.

Also the need to have lots of money is because you see things you want, wich you cant afford, then feel like shit. Well thats no worse then having a crack addiction. No fucking will power. Stop watching TV for one, Its a pure fucken advertisment trying to get you to purchase things. That you obviosly cant afford

[This message has been edited by boozehound420 (edited 01-03-2007).]

quote:

So for them it was obviosly the lack of money and success. WIch i think is the #1 cause of depression for everybody.



Hah!

That's not depression.

quote:Originally posted by Rizzo in a box:

Hah!

That's not depression.



what the fuck is it then. Ive never been depressed, and when i see people who claim there depressed its mainly because of lack of success in life. FUck that bullshit that its a chemical inbalence in the brain

Kill yourself, your daughter, wife, and your unborn child.

It's the only solution.

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

Kill yourself, your daughter, wife, and your unborn child.

It's the only solution.

In that order, though. Zombie murder!!

I have the same problem as far as depression goes. Self-medication (drugs) doesn't get you very far. If the problem is nuerological then some anti-depressants will help you. More often than not though, its mostly psychological. So you can try anti-depressants, but they probably wont get you too far. What I do (this works for meanyway) is I always keep a lot of sleeping pills and alcohol ready. Then I go and do whatever I feel like knowing that if it back-fires I always have a back-up plan. Its empowering.

Exercise, good sleep, regular nutritious meals (maybe some vitimin and mineral suppliments).

You might not think the above factors are affecting your happiness, but they really do make a difference.

If you're at the stage of pulling yourself up again, I suggest you try them out.

...Or you could, you know, kill yourself.

Oh, but take Bushy with you!!

Why the grief, Gus?

quote:Originally posted by HandOfZek:

Why the grief, Gus?

Why the annoying spam, HandOfZek?

Zek, I'm sorry man. I don't know you, but I've read alot of your posts. You know what man, don't worry about the stuff thats going out of hand. Abraham Lincon had depression, and I always think of something he said "This too shall pass". I just want you to remember that man. When all the shit you have to do is stressing you and piling up over your eyes, so what? It isn't going to kill you, and with the right outlook you'll be smiling days/weeks/months from now. So stick through the hard times man, you have the rest of your life ahead of you, and a daughter to boot.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Why the annoying spam, HandOfZek?

I'm sorry, but you're the one trolling here, not me.

Still <3.

I wish I could help you. Still struggling with my own demons, though. Ironically, what gets me by sometimes is indifference. I could die and I'd be ok. So if I live a shitty life that's ok too. Once you lift the pressure to live a good life, sometimes you can start enjoying it a bit more. However, I have no real wisdom on this matter, just my own current opinion, which is fickle and often fails me.

Well we all knew you needed help, so you didn't really need to post this thread.

I dunno if you really deserve serious advice.

Wasn't the medicine you were on helping a little? Are you in any kind of therapy? If not the college you attend might have some sort of therapy for free. I know where i go you can get ten free sessions per semester and then after that its a sliding scale for pay.

Is it a chemical imbalance or situational depression? Or do you even know?

LIfe in general is hard but you've got to get things together not just for yourself but for your wife and kids. Try just to focus on the things that are good. Your daughter and wife love you and i'm sure your son will. Focus on that and maybe it'll get you somewhere.

quote:

what the fuck is it then. Ive never been depressed, and when i see people who claim there depressed its mainly because of lack of success in life. FUck that bullshit that its a chemical inbalence in the brain



If you have no idea what you're talking about, then why are you speaking?

Depression IS a chemical imbalance, in fact, ALL emotions are chemical reactions.

True depression (not just being sad), is where you feel there is something inherently wrong with you/the universe/humanity/whatever and that there is no hope for anything or anyone. That is usually the result of an intelligent/analytical mind and a chemical imbalance (for most, the two seem to go hand in hand).

Chronic depression is like a really bad speed comedown that just never stops.

Personally, I'm manic depressive as fuck, and have experienced the depths of hell and the peaks of heaven within my own mind.

You think how you feel now is bad?

OOooo you're in for a suprise..

*rubs hands gleefully*



It can get worse. It probably will.

It can get so diabolically fucking awfull you'll really start to laugh because you dont beleive that so much shit can happen to one person.



And then, it will get better.

The thing you have to remember in all this is that you're alive. Apart from your own actions and what they might dictate,you'll allways have your life.

That's probably not a great thing to say to a suicidal depressive. But it's true.



There's some cool stuff in life that you have to stick around for.

It's like movie that starts of really bad, or has bad scenes. You dont just leave because of one crappy scene, you stick it out and hang around for the good bits.

I want a chinchilla.

I wanna do kung fu!

I also want to drive a big black mercedes with blacked out windows and pimped body, just for the fucking fun of feeling like a albino mini nigger.

There's some good things in life. Yep, you feel like shit now, you will feel like shit for a while to come. But you wont ALLWAYS feel like shit.

quote:Originally posted by HandOfZek:

I'm sorry, but you're the one trolling here, not me.

Still <3.

It's not trolling when I'm not the one being the fool. Go get professional help. Gunsmiths around the would could help.

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:

Well we all knew you needed help, so you didn't really need to post this thread.

I dunno if you really deserve serious advice.

How can someone not deserve serious advice? That is one of the most terrible things I've heard in a while. Believe it or not, the serious advice given so far has been quite helpful for him. What's the use of having any sort of forum if people don't deserve help or advice or serious conversation?

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Why the annoying spam, HandOfZek?

And why do you always find the need to feed totse's spamming problem. If you want it to go away, then quit replying to his posts. Ignore them. It's obvious that you don't find it to be spam and you want him to continue making posts about his problems and life because you keep feeding his need to talk!

Read the helpful advice in the OTHER thread...

Then GTFO totse, and get on with your life!

Seriously dude...

quote:Originally posted by Hardly There:

And why do you always find the need to feed totse's spamming problem. If you want it to go away, then quit replying to his posts. Ignore them. It's obvious that you don't find it to be spam and you want him to continue making posts about his problems and life because you keep feeding his need to talk!

Yeah?

Then how about you stop feeding MY trolling problem and shut the fuck up already like a good girl?

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Yeah?

Then how about you stop feeding MY trolling problem and shut the fuck up already like a good girl?

I don't mind your trolling problem.. I just had a pregnant irritable moment or two and you were the closest to feel my wrath.

quote:Originally posted by Hardly There:

I don't mind your trolling problem.. I just had a pregnant irritable moment or two and you were the closest to feel my wrath.

Hah, your wrath? I was hardly there for most of it, as I was too busy laughing and wondering why your loser of a husband hasn't killed himself yet.

Seriously, get the fucking emo some help, please.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Seriously, get the fucking emo some help, please.

Yeah, because everyone who's depressed is obviously "emo". Shut the fuck up with that overused word. It's used all the time in inapplicable situations and gets fucking annoying, almost as annoying as your wanna-be-badass attempted callousness.

Hang in there, Zek. This too shall pass... one day you'll look back and be glad you toughed it out. What's the harm in trying?

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Yeah, because everyone who's depressed is obviously "emo". Shut the fuck up with that overused word. It's used all the time in inapplicable situations and gets fucking annoying, almost as annoying as your wanna-be-badass attempted callousness.

Someone is rather emo tonight...

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Hang in there, Zek. This too shall pass... one day you'll look back and be glad you toughed it out. What's the harm in trying?

Awww, the problem, though, is that he's STILL not mentally stable enough to be alive. Really, his main problem is himself. We ALL know that, even those of you that don't really feel like admitting it.

When someone is self-defeating, they shall only ever know victory as something forced upon them by others. Until he fucking shapes up, and understands that more than just his own little stupid ass relies on him (like, perhaps, his wife and children?).

So, until he makes it CLEAR to me that he understands that, he's an emo. A stupid fucking emo.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Awww, the problem, though, is that he's STILL not mentally stable enough to be alive. Really, his main problem is himself. We ALL know that, even those of you that don't really feel like admitting it.

Of course it is... the bad part is that not everyone is able to make themselves stable through willpower alone. It just isn't happening. I'd say it's probably a neurological problem.

quote:Until he fucking shapes up, and understands that more than just his own little stupid ass relies on him (like, perhaps, his wife and children?).

Doesn't he, though? He gets up. He works. He goes to college. What more can you ask?

quote:Someone is rather emo tonight...

Yeah, Gus, stop being emo.

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Of course it is... the bad part is that not everyone is able to make themselves stable through willpower alone. It just isn't happening. I'd say it's probably a neurological problem.

Then he shouldn't have been let out of the fucking nut house when they finally took him away.

In reality, they have those places for people like him. Those people that lack the will power to understand that the world is the way it is. And even more so for those people that lack the strength to change the way the world is.

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Doesn't he, though? He gets up. He works. He goes to college. What more can you ask?

That he stops making these trolling threads on totse. More than once Hardly There has said "Oh, he's not really like this! He's only like this online!" or something to that timber.

In reality, he's a troll, and I'm just pushing back. You, though, seem to think otherwise though?

EDiT: quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Yeah, Gus, stop being emo.

Sorry, *cuts myself*. Follow suit, Zek. It's the only way to emotional freedom.

[This message has been edited by Gus (edited 01-04-2007).]

Remember this, if nothing else: desire creates suffering.

why did you lose your scholarship?

and you really need to get some professional help and STOP USING DRUGS. try not to just get thrown on anti-depressants either, because they often make you numb.

my mother was depressed until i was in 2nd grade. then she went into an institution, twice actually (first time didn't really help). so after she came out she was on medication. all i remember until i was 16 was my mother sitting on the couch zoning out. she wasn't there for me, my sister and aunt raised me, not my mother...even tho she was there every night.

don't do this to you daughter...or son.

you don't need a gym, just go for walks with hardly and perhaps runs on your own. if you stop doing drugs you will have more money to spend on actual items, and perhaps eventually you can get some free weights.

just look around you. look in you daughter's eyes. look at your wife. at her stomach which holds your other child. find the joy in that.

Sometimes life is just a drag and you just have to work through it no matter how much you want to top yourself, because when it really comes down to it you've got nothing better to do anyways. May be that's not the deeply intellectual reason to keep going that we've all been searching for our whole lives, but I'm pretty sure it's the basic truth.

Don't let it get you down too much, because it's all temporary.

Cheers,

Lost

HandOfZek not that this helps in any way, but i still <3 you.

And i sincerely hope things work out for you, i will help in any way i can.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Hah, your wrath? I was hardly there for most of it, as I was too busy laughing and wondering why your loser of a husband hasn't killed himself yet.

Seriously, get the fucking emo some help, please.

He has help and surprisingly is not emo. What he has been looking for are alternate treatments that he can try. He has the therapy/drugs. What he wanted from this thread was something like an altered diet.. or a work out plan.. or fuck.. I don't know (which is why he made this thread). Something like that.

Anything useful to offer? What was that? No? Well then.. Thanks for your time.

I really do like zek, what I know of him. But it still scares the shit out of me that he's a father.

I'm sure he'd never deliberately hurt his children, or his wife, but inadvertently I'm not sure if seeing daddy try to suicide would be the best memory for the kids.

:S

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

I'm not sure if seeing daddy try to suicide would be the best memory for the kids.

:S

Could be his only sucsessful achievement in life......a positive momento for his children to cherish!

I don't know you, but I love you and I hope more than anything you can get out of this.

Ugh, things should get brighter...

quote:Originally posted by Hardly There:

How can someone not deserve serious advice? That is one of the most terrible things I've heard in a while. Believe it or not, the serious advice given so far has been quite helpful for him. What's the use of having any sort of forum if people don't deserve help or advice or serious conversation?

Because from past threads, it's said that he stretches the truth on here, it was even you that said it. So is it a waste of time if he's not actually being genuine?

quote:Originally posted by Hardly There:

He has help and surprisingly is not emo. What he has been looking for are alternate treatments that he can try. He has the therapy/drugs. What he wanted from this thread was something like an altered diet.. or a work out plan.. or fuck.. I don't know (which is why he made this thread). Something like that.

Anything useful to offer? What was that? No? Well then.. Thanks for your time.



Actually, in his meditation thread I posted a rather nice reply on a form I used to bring me out of my depressed state.

I've also given him countless amounts of advice. But to restate some of the most bloody obvious... Get off your lazy arse and stop making threads like these. Typing and thinking about how you're depressed pulls you deeper into your own depression. Instead, go and get a hobby. Pick up a few good books, or start painting. Get five pounds of clay, or take up hiking.

Sunlight, as much as I hate it (seeing how I have an actual allergy to it, bugger), is vital to help depression. Try getting more of it, unless you already get a good four hours a day. At least six hours of sleep is key, too. I'm certain you get enough sexual activity, as you have a live-in fiancé (or girlfriend, I don't keep up on totse politics if I can bloody well help it). Keeping your energy stores full with good food is also a great way to stay mentally (and physically) healthy. That means at least three meals a day (five smaller meals, and some snacking is actually a better way of going, as I've been losing a lot of weight with it and exercise).

And really, if your pills aren't working, go back and get some different ones. And, again, stop posting these fucking threads on totse. They make baby Jesus cry.

~~~

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:

Because from past threads, it's said that he stretches the truth on here, it was even you that said it. So is it a waste of time if he's not actually being genuine?



Yeah, seriously. I tried to help, what, the first three times? Then I just gave up, got annoyed, and decided he was another troll.

Really, how about YOU make a thread for him giving an ACCURATE description of what he wants. Similar to your post, which, even though it was wonderfully sarcastic, I replied to because it wasn't the same cry for attention he seems to be famous, now, for giving.

/shrug, update fer yuh.

I'm feeling a lot better. No longer need to be watched closely for suicide attempts and my work has gone well.

Life in the next few months will be different though, and I'm a bit scared of what the future hold in store for meh.

<3 to all the people in this thread, yo.

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:

Because from past threads, it's said that he stretches the truth on here, it was even you that said it. So is it a waste of time if he's not actually being genuine?



You definitely misread me if that is what you thought I meant. I did not intend for you to get that 'he stretches the truth.' What I meant was that he is usually fine overall in real life. He has low moments that he posts about/asks for help with. And what he says is genuine to his feelings at the time.

He is actually being genuine so it wouldn't be a waste of time.. right?

Glad to hear that you're feeling better. The future is exciting.

Glad to see you're feeling better, as always my advice comes down to the epitome of my tea-guzzling paddydom, and is thus: Drink more tea.

quote:Originally posted by boozehound420:

depressed people piss me off. Like what the fuck is so wrong? nobodys life can be THAT bad.

You have a place to live, you have internet/TOTSE, you have a daughter, you have a wife?

if your just pissed of about money, then use your brain and get some. Talking about wanting to die because you have no money, fuck give me a break

You'd better knock on wood, dumbfuck! You obviously have no understanding of the complex chemical interaction that takes place in the human brain! Why don't you give me a break?

Reading this thread has made ME feel depressed, for a few reasons.

But my new year resolution is to control my temper at all times, so I won't flip out.

<3 Zek hang in there buddy. This will pass.

I dont understand why people hate HandOfZek so much. Sure he has his crappy bits, but then dont we all?

Gustave, maybe you hate Zek so much because on a subconcious level you feel like he does?

It'd be cool if you'd email me sometime? If you have the time/want to? I dont have AIM anymore.

(yoyobek@yahoo.co.uk)

You've got some good things in life, Zek. A nice sounding girl, some babies,ect..

And if you didnt like those things you wouldnt have had them, right..?

Think about the stuff you WANT in life.

Think about that mercedes! Or whatever.

I tend to get a bit de-motivated about life if I dont have any goals. If you make some goals to work for, things get a bit better.

quote:Originally posted by Zonko:

Glad to see you're feeling better, as always my advice comes down to the epitome of my tea-guzzling paddydom, and is thus: Drink more tea.

I think I love you.

Have you tried that egyptian spice yogi tea?

HOZ: You REALLY need to get some hobbies. I get depressed all of the time and the only thing I've found that helps is my diversions. My personal hobbies are cooking, crocheting, reading and soapmaking. I like cooking because there's always a happy ending. I like crocheting because it's easy and you're pretty much guaranteed a pretty result, I like reading because it's like being in an alternate reality and I like soapmaking because I like to experiment with herbs/essential oils.

Seriously, these are inexpensive and fun hobbies that cheer me up without the use of drugs. I know how difficult it is to be depressed...But really, try to find your own hobbies and stick with them.

And I've found that I'm less depressed if I eat a diet that containes no processed foods. I also find that making my own applesauce makes me feel happy...And your daughter will LOVE it.

Interesting thing I've found, when you're not depressed, you wont see how anyone could be depressed. And when you're depressed you cant see how anyone could not be depressed.



I know that people who arent depressive might well seem overenthusiastic and irritating, and as well meant as their suggestions are,you may not like them. But you still have to try.

I for one could not be fucking bothered to make my own cooking. Eating well is difficult enough without fucking things up even more.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

I dont understand why people hate HandOfZek so much. Sure he has his crappy bits, but then dont we all?

Gustave, maybe you hate Zek so much because on a subconcious level you feel like he does?



I don't "hate" him. Stop putting your labels on this. I've already told Hardly There why I dislike him: I've tried to help many times before, giving him great advice and even some of my personal best information on how to control yourself and your mind, and he STILL comes back for more.

He's an attention whore, using totse the same way that every other attention whore works. If you don't want to understand that, then that's fine. I wouldn't expect most people to understand something this simple.

But don't try and tell me what I'm doing. Hatred is reserved for people I'd be willing to kill. He isn't even worth beating. :\

Gus: HOZ is very young and he's got a lot of responsibility for so young a person. I know my first couple years of marraige were difficult because my husband and I were really just kids playacting at being adults. Now his situation is definitely complicated by him already having a child, but he's still entitled to a little slack.

Imagine if you'd been 17 and already had a kid...How would you have been as a parent? I know when I was 17 I was REALLY immature and I could barely look after myself!

There were some really great replies that improved my mood in this thread (most on page 1), but I really haven't been in the position to quote each one and post a "Thank you" or "I'll try this" or "I have tried this, and this is why it didn't work for me".

Gus wants me to tell him that he did a good job, and believes that his advice is worth more than a general blanket "Thank you".

So here it is: I thank you Gus, for your tips in my meditation thread that have helped me a good deal. I thank you for your help in HB and here telling me to do all I can to avoid even thinking of being depressed (harder than it sounds, which I'm certain you know), and for your tips on ways to keep my mind focused on something worthwhile.

Loving kindness your way Gus, es all I have to offer.