This one goes out there to all the 'i can't find a girlfriend' whingy American teens.

My crippled son's g/f comes around here a lot. Sometimes she brings another friend with her.

I have written about this other kid before. He's a 'proper' spastic...with hands fused inwards, dribbly, talks like a retard (he isn't).

Well the other day they were all upstairs in my kid's room talking LOUDLY. I don't normally listen in but they really left me little choice.

Anyway it seems from what this spastic kid was saying (and my son's girlfriend confirmed it all) that he has no problem getting laid.

Thats right,you did read that correct. You in your designer clothes, 6 packs and near perfect bodies can't find a girlfriend but a dribbly, limping,slightly smelly 'retard' can't move for women.

You know the only solution is suicide, right?





[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 01-03-2007).]

drool turns me on

I fart on youu

Pity sex?

If I could just force myself to leave the house, maybe get away to Amsterdam where nobody knows me, I just know I can get laid. Alas, what do you say to your mother when she asks you why you want to go to Amsterdam alone for a month?

Haha

And you believe him?

No one wants desperate pity sex.

quote:Originally posted by azalie:

No one wants desperate pity sex.

Speak for yourself.

quote:Originally posted by Rizzo in a box:

Haha

And you believe him?

Why not?

Do you have a good reason to doubt his credability?

It didn't happen if there's no pics

[This message has been edited by ZeroDyne (edited 01-03-2007).]

Jackketch, I've noticed you being more of an asshole lately. Drinking gotten worse?

quote:Originally posted by ZeroDyne:

It didn't happen if there's no pics



Do you really want to see that?

-F☺rd

quote:Originally posted by Ford Prefect:

Do you really want to see that?

-F☺rd

Hawt crippled on fat chick action

quote:Originally posted by Rizzo in a box:

Haha

And you believe him?

quote:Originally posted by azalie:

No one wants desperate pity sex.



Ya think?

Did I not say that it had all been confirmed by my kid's girlfriend (who has known this spastic forever)?

since when has sex been a status symbol , Some religions pride themselves on not doing it.

Right this is going to sound retarded , but you must have all seen star wars at one point in your life ? , good that saves some time .

Sex is relativly like the force you can feel vibes strong in some girls and weak in others if you try to control or push it it wont work.

Be one with the force.

Its true dont put so much importance on it just be happy and live for the day and i am sure that it will come far quicker

quote:Originally posted by ZeroDyne:

It didn't happen if there's no pics

Shit, then I've never been laid.

*thinks*

*bitch slaps ZeroDyne*

How?

I dont even want to get laid yet, but i'm just curious as to how 'that kid' gets laid? Physically, its no big deal, but what about emotionally for his counterpart? How would she feel doing it? Nothing is really coming to mind for me.

& the TOTSE should have a sticky function and you should stick this so that hopeless emo guys could get l4!d.

LOLz...

This begs the question, would anyone here sleep with someone who had the problems of the kid mentioned by jackketch?

To be perfectly honest, there's no way I can see myself sleeping with a girl of such... disabilities.

Maybe I'm just an arse.

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

How?

I dont even want to get laid yet, but i'm just curious as to how 'that kid' gets laid? Physically, its no big deal, but what about emotionally for his counterpart? How would she feel doing it? Nothing is really coming to mind for me.



Uhm all i can say is that Norfolk girls are strange.

Probably most of them prefer to lose their cherry to a 'spassy' than to their dads/brothers/uncles

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Anyway it seems from what this spastic kid was saying (and my son's girlfriend confirmed it all) that he has no problem getting laid.

First of all, translations of "spastic" are always riddled with errors, not just for their reluctancy to speak clearly but also because they can't really understand what they're trying to say anyway.

Secondly, even if you had deciphered his phonetic spitting, then consider that rape is still technically sex and that the mere sight of such a beast will stun most females dead still with shock and fear.

Jack you haven't been a teenager for a long, long time.

quote:Originally posted by inverted:

since when has sex been a status symbol

Since ten thousand years ago.

quote:Originally posted by another pint:

This begs the question, would anyone here sleep with someone who had the problems of the kid mentioned by jackketch?

To be perfectly honest, there's no way I can see myself sleeping with a girl of such... disabilities.

Maybe I'm just an arse.

Easier to rape.

quote:Originally posted by another pint:

This begs the question, would anyone here sleep with someone who had the problems of the kid mentioned by jackketch?

To be perfectly honest, there's no way I can see myself sleeping with a girl of such... disabilities.

Maybe I'm just an arse.



no, i can't. call me shallow, but i just seriously can't picture myself with someone like that. the only way i think i would be with someone with major disabilities is if something happened to the person i was already in a relationship with.

it may make me a bitch, but i would constently feel the need to mother and heel the person. i don't think i could ever see them in a sexual way.

YES!

if that's not motivation then i don't no what is.

look around at the dudes getting laid, most of you guys post pics of yourselves with low opinions about your image and i always think.. "well these guys aren't bad"..

go out there and look for some girls, and don't get caught up on the first one it goes right with! just keep at it and don't stop until you actually click with someone..

if she fucks a cripple then she is messed up in her head, she is fucking desparate.



I was in Suffolk, Near Ipswitch (England) for new years. My aunt has a farm

quote:Originally posted by inverted:

since when has sex been a status symbol , Some religions pride themselves on not doing it.

Right this is going to sound retarded , but you must have all seen star wars at one point in your life ? , good that saves some time .

Sex is relativly like the force you can feel vibes strong in some girls and weak in others if you try to control or push it it wont work.

Be one with the force.

Its true dont put so much importance on it just be happy and live for the day and i am sure that it will come far quicker



Did you just use a starwars referance to sex?!?!?!

Of course a cripple can get sex, cripples have the lowest standards in existance. They're the bottom feeders, getting anything they can.

Lets see them try to get a girl with a nice body, nice face, good personality, humor, wit and some social status. Hell would freeze over first.

A cripple would just fuck a downy, how is that hard?

"Yo, sho like do you want to have shex?"

"MLEH, I LIKE sex...BRRRRRR, wibo-wibble-wibo-weeee ngeh"

quote:Originally posted by soro_one:



Did you just use a starwars referance to sex?!?!?!

Dude, EVERY one knows sex is just like the force. What, you didn't...?

quote:Originally posted by inverted:

since when has sex been a status symbol , Some religions pride themselves on not doing it.

Some religions also pride themselves on how many babies they have, and how many times they kill infidels. Welcome to the real world, I hope you enjoy your stay.

quote:Originally posted by inverted:

Right this is going to sound retarded , but you must have all seen star wars at one point in your life ? , good that saves some time .

Sex is relativly like the force you can feel vibes strong in some girls and weak in others if you try to control or push it it wont work.

Be one with the force.

Its true dont put so much importance on it just be happy and live for the day and i am sure that it will come far quicker

...Did you really just make a Star Wars reference to sex?

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

...Did you really just make a Star Wars reference to sex?

lol. why yes he did sir.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



You know the only solution is suicide, right?



With a little murder along with it.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Of course a cripple can get sex, cripples have the lowest standards in existance. They're the bottom feeders, getting anything they can.

Lets see them try to get a girl with a nice body, nice face, good personality, humor, wit and some social status. Hell would freeze over first.

A cripple would just fuck a downy, how is that hard?

"Yo, sho like do you want to have shex?"

"MLEH, I LIKE sex...BRRRRRR, wibo-wibble-wibo-weeee ngeh"

Well I don't know what sort of girls the kid in question has had sex with but I do know what sort of girls my crippled son pulls...

Trust me, half of totse would be glad to have such women.

quote:Originally posted by Mindless Xyzzyean:

How?

I dont even want to get laid yet, but i'm just curious as to how 'that kid' gets laid? Physically, its no big deal, but what about emotionally for his counterpart? How would she feel doing it? Nothing is really coming to mind for me.



Havent you ever seen Forest Gump?

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Trust me, half of totse would be glad to have such women.



The half with retardation, social and anxiety problems, with no life.

The other half would laugh at her...

For the record, generally speaking, Star Wars is like the Anti-Sex.

Guys, so far as getting laid goes, you have never seen these films. Hide them in your closet. Forget that time when you were twelve and you sat by yourself for an hour, trying so, so hard to find the force.

I'm not saying there isn't the odd girl who will find your science fiction fixation endearing and spend long hours watching and rewatching with you.

I'm just saying she's hard to find.

You know why half of us can't get girlfriends?

Its because we spend too much damn time on the internet complaining about it.

quote:Originally posted by reject:

You know why half of us can't get girlfriends?

Its because we spend too much damn time on the internet complaining about it.

Quoted for fucking truth!

Jx

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Thats right,you did read that correct. You in your designer clothes, 6 packs and near perfect bodies can't find a girlfriend but a dribbly, limping,slightly smelly 'retard' can't move for women.

I have the fashion sense of a rock, I buy my shirts from Wal-Mart, my abs are just a mass of flab, and my body is a combination between Sasquatche's and an alien's (http://setiathome.berkeley.edu/user_profile/images/8152594.jpg), but I found a girlfriend. What does this mean?



[This message has been edited by Twisted_Ferret (edited 01-03-2007).]

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Originally posted by jackketch:

Thats right,you did read that correct. You in your designer clothes, 6 packs and near perfect bodies can't find a girlfriend but a dribbly, limping,slightly smelly 'retard' can't move for women.

I have the fashion sense of a rock, I buy my shirts from Wal-Mart, my abs are just a mass of flab, and my body is a combination between Sasquatche's and an alien's (http://setiathome.berkeley.edu/user_profile/images/8152594.jpg), but I found a girlfriend. What does this mean?

You hve awesome pheromones.

quote:Originally posted by Mr.Happy:

You hve awesome pheromones.

Maybe I should stop taking showers...

Maybe, because he can't change his condition, he is more accepting of himself, and exudes confidence!

And I assume he must have some redeeming qualities.

Did he say who?!



He might have bought a hooker or something.

You know, I am relatively flabby after 7 years of comfort and I am certainly not the best looking guy, but I never have a problem with girls liking me/wanting to bed me. I think the biggest problem people have is their own insecurities.

It's definitely not attractive.

quote:Originally posted by reject:

You know why half of us can't get girlfriends?

Its because we spend too much damn time on the internet complaining about it.

Thats not the problem for me, theres just no white girls left..and the ones that are turn out to be borderline retarded and or negroe fuckers.

thats what ill complain about

well in my designer clothes even if i can't get laid i can still get with hot gay dudes... so i've just learned to be less picky

I'll get a girlfriend when I find a girl I like. I'm not gonna hook up with someone I hate just so I can get a root.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



Thats right,you did read that correct. You in your designer clothes, 6 packs and near perfect bodies can't find a girlfriend but a dribbly, limping,slightly smelly 'retard' can't move for women.

There's no substitute for being able to relate and talk to other people.

Kill'd ya.