OK, I'm 14, and I'll be turning 15 in February. Recent events in my life have prompted me to question my own behavior, instead of being typically dismissive and believing that every else is the source of my problems.

Now, I am a freshman in high school. This year has opened many new... "doors" for me, sexually, and socially. Most of my middle school friends were kind of the burnt-out loser types. This year, the majority of them started smoking pot and doing a wide variety of other drugs (some of them, that is ). Additionally, high school homecoming prom prompted me to get myself a girlfriend. With her, I began doing very sexual things. (Things that parents raised in the '50s and '60s wouldn't approve of, in the least.)

Now, the discovery by my parents that I had bought 3 bottles of cough syrup in an attempt to extract dextromethorphan prompted them to go through my entire computer, room, telephone memory and private letters. My life [i]literally got flipped upside down.

They discovered that I had, basically, a fuck buddy (we didn't actually have sex, but we were damn awfully close), and that most of my friends were drug users/dealers. They also uncovered the fact that I, myself, was in the midst of buying/selling marijuana, and well, I believe you all get the picture.

My mom, and dad were sitting around a table one afternoon and as I walked in they told me to sit down. I knew exactly what was going to happen. My father stared at me, darkly, and said "What, exactly, is your fascination with drugs."

"I simply find them interesting, Papa. I'm not a user or anything, haha." I let out a chuckle, trying to "mute" down the conversation in a way.

"Bullshit." (or something of the sort)

Then he threw down some papers with "evidence" of me using drugs. He then pointed out how I was fucking around, sexually, and that everything was to stop. In the end, it all culminated in something like "You are not my son...; you are a monster."

I just went into my room, and did something else. Eventually, after about a week or so, everything was "cool" again; it was "just another thing" that had happened... but my Computer Programmer 1A teacher discovered that I had been copying my programs from a friend in the class.

This was all right before Christmas, and I didn't expect to get any presents, but my parents, miraculously, relented. They got me plenty of gifts, but I had gotten nothing for them, or my kid sister.

This all has basically culminated in my father saying "You don't know respect... you can't understand love." about my relationship with "the family."

~~~

I don't know whether I should just dismiss this as "normal teen behavior" or whether or not I should just get my fucking act together.

You're not a fuck up, infact you sound like any normal 15 year old.

Just make amends with your parents and keep your shit secret.

So I can still get into Yale?

you're a fuck-up

I would say you were a fuck up for attempting that cough syrup trick . Lol now thats retarded.

But yes you are a monster an utter abomination because you like to have sex and get stoned.

Tbh it would be hard to find someone who didnt enjoy those things specially being 15 and all. Be pround of being honest.

Your old mans a tard stick him in the face with a fork

You're just callous. Hopefully you'll grow out of this attitude and manage to maintain some semblance of a relationship with your family.

You're a fuck up and your father is correct. You don't respect him, or your mother.

You sound pretty normal, but you're still a fuck up. Quit the drugs and learn some useful things while you're still in school.

You sound totally normal to me. Except for not getting your parents anything, that's kind of fucked up.

[This message has been edited by Parallax (edited 01-03-2007).]

you sound normal too me

Sound kinda like me, but as a 15 year old, thats kinda expected.

Except I didnt do an extraction on 3 bottles of cough syrup, I just chugged them.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

You're not a fuck up, infact you sound like any normal 15 year old.

Just make amends with your parents and keep your shit secret.

QFFT

You sure you want to ask this forum of all places to turn to with that bit of knowledge? You're not a total fuck up, yet. Do yourself a favor & turn your life around now; as the other one said on here, you're being callous with your life. You're not telling us the whole story, but we don't demand it on here. Atleast i'm not, & i'm working with what you said here.

Forgive me if this response is pretty long, but I think I have a good handle on this one and hopefully you won't just view my age and diss what I have to say. First a little background. I'm in my 30's happily married with kids. Still a daily stoner (as my way to unwind like others do with alcohol, valiums, whatever....everyone has their "relief") and I run a business. So I'm not just some wasteoid sitting on Mommy's couch. Also I was raised by a psychotic mother with my dad dying at 16.

Your ONLY fuckup was the lack of giving Christmas gifts. Since your sister is younger she can't have any true influence on you and is completely innocent in any of this. Keep in mind also you do seem to have some fucked up parents, and she has to endure their nonsense too. If anything you 2 should be a team, depending of course how big an age difference there is. But no matter, you should still spoil the shit out of her....because your bond with her will be life long, and who knows how your relationship will evolve (especially when you are out of the house and she is still stuck there).

As for buying the gifts for parents, you aren't playing the "smart" game...no matter how much you despise them. If you had invested just $20 each with a little bit of thought, it could have scored some kind of brownie points that could be valuable on many levels. Its all politics at this point, and for a while you have to at least tell them what they want to hear and portray whatever "image" that lives up to their standards. I'm not saying become a total sellout, just again...PLAY THE GAME! Really, you are trapped there for at least 3-4 more years, what other options do you have?

I completely believe your parents are fucked up, and understand how hard it is. Evidence to that fact is their assinine comment of "what is the fascination with drugs". That just proves how little they know about teens, this generation, and partying in general. They are living in some Andy Griffith/Happy Days fairy tale. I know, I've been there. You may have a difficult road ahead, because of these goody goody fools. But dude, you'll make it if you have enough heart and play your cards a bit smarter.

Just play the game, play the role for a while and let things chill out. And be more careful with things. Realize you have absolutely ZERO privacy in your home, and it would be in your best interests to limit as much illicit activity as possible. If you keep getting caught doing what normal teens get into, they can just tighten the screws that much more making your life miserable. Whether its grounding, calling cops, detention hall....who the hell knows? Just spend a little more energy on being cautious and you can get through this.

Fuck you are a Totsean....that speaks volumes of the "kind" of fortitude as well as attitude you have.... right?

Just bite your tounge, hide your weed carefully, roll a phatty with your girl, give her great multi-orgasmic oral....and everything else will fall into place. Good luck!

So no you aren't a fuck up....just a dude in a very fucked up situation that hasn't made all the right decisions and needs to think out longer term repercussions for some of his actions.



[This message has been edited by DaGuru (edited 01-03-2007).]

well heres something i heard earlier on this board:

parents do everything they can to make you sucessfull, they just panic sometimes and go a little too far.

Maybe in not so many words.

But your parents are trying to help you, they just may not do it right because they lived a couple decades ago. Yes if you do what they say, you will become a more valuable person to society. But you may not hav as much fun in the long run, because what they say probably takes a good amount of enjoyment out of life. You have to weigh it up.

Personally, i have the biggest nazi parents in the world. Im 16, havent had a girlfriend, i dont drink or smoke or take drugs (my own choice), and i still continuously get yelled out for bullshitesque reasons. Like saying 'mmhmm' to agree with my dad, instead of making eye contact, and saying 'yes father' (ive been told off for not saying father at the end of yes).

So that last paragraph was partially a personal rant, and partially to show you your not the only one in a bad place with parents.

I feel that if your parents have never found your stash, walked in on you jerking off, or picked you up from the local precinct, you haven't really lived. It builds character. Like Jack said, do a better job next time. Kids your age think they're indestructible. I'm pretty sure you can of about 30 ways you could have kept this a little more on the DL.

What it is.

=CK=

Im 15 also and one of the things Ive noticed is that some of my friends feel the need to argue with their parents about everything. You just have to make them at least feel like you agree with them, dont feel the need to stand up for everything you believe in.

What Ive done is just spent less time at home and when I am home I feel more cheerful and although this could backfire I suppose it has if anything made my parents less suspicious of me.

eh your one of those people who can afford to buy presents for people so it sounds like your rich enough to be arrogant deal with it your 14 supposing your in the usa youve still got 4 yrs before you can vote and 7 before you can drink legally immature little fuck up

You're a teenager. This is the period in your life you're supposed to do stupid shit that you'd never want your parents to know. You're mistake, and the part where you're a fuck up is -evidence-. Learn to be better at HIDING things kid. Password some PCs, etc. We all keep shit from our parents, its just a matter of doing it well.

-Val

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

You're not a fuck up, infact you sound like any normal 15 year old.

Just make amends with your parents and keep your shit secret.

Albeit a little weaksauce.

Seriously, you're just flustered cuz you got caught, come to terms with it apologize, then carry on with your oh-so-nefarious-rebellion until you grow up.

Some pretty good advice here so far. Only thing I wanted to add was to make sure you keep above a B average in school, preferably higher. It denies your parents their best argument against your extra-curricular activities, and it'll prove damn useful on down the road.

quote:Originally posted by Bazzle:

Albeit a little weaksauce.

Seriously, you're just flustered cuz you got caught, come to terms with it apologize, then carry on with your oh-so-nefarious-rebellion until you grow up.

I agree. There is nothing wrong with neither drug use nor sex in a responsible environment. To really qualify as a fuck up you'd actually have to fuck something up. As long as you don't lose focus of other interests/life goals/etc you seem in fine shape.

-F☺rd

Pretty normal shit.

Just remind yourself that alot more is happening in this world then what is directly occuring around you. Keep your parents happy, continue living life, just be smart about how you go about doing it.

i think the best advice i can give you is some that my dad gave me many years ago -

'son, never lie to me, but keeping secrets isnt the same as lying.'

the moral - if you're doing something someone is going to disaprove of, make sure thye dont find out.