What do you guys do to hide a boner?

Situation one:

Wearing jeans.

Situation two:

Wearing basketball shorts.

Given:

People are watching you.

I don't get random boners.

EDIT: If you are black just keep adjusting your crotch repeatedly like you normally would. If you're white just tuck it under your belt or something.

[This message has been edited by jhntrner (edited 12-31-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by jhntrner:

I don't get random boners.

Yeah me neither, when I did, the up-tuck is always surefire. Either that or just strut that shit around and stand right next to girls when they're sitting down and shove it in their faces. HAHA.

Let it stand tall and proud. Unless its something to be embarassed about, in which case you have worse problems than the boner.

quote:Originally posted by XHippie HunterX:

Let it stand tall and proud. Unless its something to be embarassed about, in which case you have worse problems than the boner.

This is exactly the mindset you need.

It's your penis, a natural part of you. Stop worrying about if people will see it. If they see it, why're they lookin'?

If anyone comments, just say "Yeah, I'm hard. Why do YOU care?" unless it's a cute girl with big tits. Then tell her that, except make sure to wink at her first and maybe make it sound more sexually inviting.

push it down to one side of your thigh

if you happen to be black, use a 50 pound dumb bell to keep it down

Wearing jeans: quit worrying, no one will notice unless they study your crotch, and if they do, accuse them of being homosexual, ect. ect. dont admit or deny it.

Wearing B-ball shorts: tuck it under the waist band, sit down, or casually hold one elbow with one hand while hanging your arm near the crotchal region. Or think of some other casual way to put an arm there.

My eboner rips jeans and basketball shorts like paper.

uptuck!

Totse taught me that a loooong time ago.

quote:Originally posted by Sentinel:

uptuck!

Totse taught me that a loooong time ago.

Never fails.

The uptuck does not stem from Totse. It comes from a long line of Chinese Boner Hiding Monks. Every man must know the technique to truly become a man.

quote:Originally posted by Microwave:

The uptuck does not stem from Totse. It comes from a long line of Chinese Boner Hiding Monks. Every man must know the technique to truly become a man.

Why would a chinamen need to hide his tiny chiny chubby?

quote:Originally posted by Bazzle:

Why would a chinamen need to hide his tiny chiny chubby?

Your Kung Fu is weak

I usually stop thinking about the naughty things I'm thinking about, I give it a minute then I'm good.

I don't get random boners, but I sleep for a lot of my class's. I don't mean day dreaming, I mean im actually sleeping in class. So sometimes when I wake up, I will be hard because I was having a naughty dream. If I need to get rid of it quick, I just imagine im about to fight someone, then play the fight out in your head. This should make you lose your boner, unless you don't jerk off or something.

Well the flipup is hard in public.

When getting a boner its necessary to sit down asap...

I once walked around with a boner but it was only because i was comfortable with the people I was with and we all made a spectacle of it

I just keep getting random thoughts about sex when I have a boner, that's why it's hard for me to get rid of one.

If I think about fighting someone, I probably just start thinking about a mud fight between two naked chicks...

quote:Originally posted by ericstotle:

I just keep getting random thoughts about sex when I have a boner, that's why it's hard for me to get rid of one.

If I think about fighting someone, I probably just start thinking about a mud fight between two naked chicks...

Puberty much?

I find a neat trick while in basketball shorts is to pull the boxers down a bit and tuck yourself under that wasteband while allowing the shorts to still cover you up. Basically a belt tuck but substituting boxers for the belt.

quote:Originally posted by moike:

Wearing jeans: quit worrying, no one will notice unless they study your crotch, and if they do, accuse them of being homosexual, ect. ect. dont admit or deny it.



I study crotches.

*winks in your general direction*

quote:Originally posted by bloodenangel:

I study crotches.

*winks in your general direction*

She's a demon in girl's clothing! I wouldn't doubt it!!

*Takes out his sutra and readies the capture*

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

She's a demon in girl's clothing! I wouldn't doubt it!!

*Takes out his sutra and readies the capture*

zOMG A SUCCUBUS

quote:Originally posted by ZeroDyne:

zOMG A SUCCUBUS

She could suck my Gus-bus anytime she wants...

quote:Originally posted by jhntrner:

I don't get random boners.

EDIT: If you are black just keep adjusting your crotch repeatedly like you normally would. If you're white just tuck it under your belt or something.



But my cock is big enough where you can notice something is in your belt...

Even though like 95% of the time they're not super stiff, just a casual one that doesn't matter.

[This message has been edited by Vargv (edited 12-31-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Microwave:

Your Kung Fu is weak

You must die: I alone am best!

Just think of your grandma/ mum/ fat chick (unless your into that shit) naked.

works every time.

the pants at my school fold up in the crotch region. damned near impossible to notice.

quote:Originally posted by Bazzle:

You must die: I alone am best!

Bloodhound Gang.

quote:Originally posted by Bazzle:

Why would a chinamen need to hide his tiny chiny chubby?

I lol'd.

Anyway, the uptuck is the solution in any case. I think every man has done this move atleast once in his life, it's as natural as our love for boobies.

I rest my case.

quote:Originally posted by Aragami:

Just think of your grandma/ mum/ fat chick (unless your into that shit) naked.

works every time.

i lol'd

This i think is something only a teenage virgin could worry about.

*OMG I have an erection and people might just see the outline of it if they look real close!111.*

The only solution is to kill yourself, of course.

quote:Originally posted by Sentinel:

uptuck!

Totse taught me that a loooong time ago.

Probably the most important and most used thing I have ever learned from totse.

This "uptuck" sounds very uncomfortable.

Hiding a boner is like hiding how you're feeling; they're both things you shouldn't do.

I am tempted to close this thread on the grounds that it is too embarrassingly juvenile to be allowed to live any longer.

Boys get hard ons, every day of their fucking lives (or at least til they're my age and discover what a prostate is) and girls sometimes have to go home and change their knickers or their nipples stick out when it isn't -2C.

It happens, get over it people!



[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 12-31-2006).]

May I suggest hiding your boner in the nearest chick's ass?

for some reason i get a boner at school when im in german .. it just happens probably cos im sittin next to a table with 2 fit chicks and like ericstotle i also think about random sex thaught when i get a boner ... and my school pants are baggy and it shows he he *winks*

I must be the only person here who came up with the uptuck by myself

when i was in highschool i got a boner standing in the cafeteria. Kindoff embaresing, but the girls all wanted to touch it so i let them

none of them would come into the bathroom with me though, FUCKEN TEASES!

just let it stay hard & poke out, it's gotta attract female attention.

I know mine does. :X

Wow, why would it even matter? If I saw some random guy with a boner, I'd probably wink at him for amusement. It isn't really a big deal...

Actually, I hope it is a big deal...

Yes, I'm 15.

Probably the reason for the thoughts and boners.

Worst way to hide a boner would be with duct tape...damn that must be painful

1. Sit down (best option available to you

2. Untuck your shirt (I did this a lot in Drama lessons in high school, seeing as I was a horny

virgin handling females)

3. Kill everyone in the room (probably not the best idea)

4. Tuck it under your belt (If you can do it quickly and inconspiscously)

5. Think of the ugliest people in your high school making out (works well)

6. Think about chip board (strange but it worked for me, it was about the most unerotic and non-sexual thing I could think about)

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

This "uptuck" sounds very uncomfortable.

Hiding a boner is like hiding how you're feeling; they're both things you shouldn't do.

The OP said random boners, I think it's okay to hide that you just became aroused by watching the dyke that sits in front of you in math class rub her tit with a pencil.

Three words:

Duct tape BAD.

*Eyes start to water at memory*

poor guy...

+++VYK+++

quote:Originally posted by Aragami:

Just think of your grandma/ mum/ fat chick (unless your into that shit) naked.

works every time.

What if I'm into fatty incest

i only randomly get boners when im sitting down, beacause thats when i have the naughtiest dreams.

Canadian beltbuckle! (http://tinyurl.com/y4qs27)

Never worry about unwanted erections again.

I present to you The CURVE (http://www.extremerestraints.com/the-curve-male-chastity-belt_64.html)



[This message has been edited by Wintermute (edited 01-01-2007).]

just say its not hard you just have a realy realy big dick

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

She could suck my Gus-bus anytime she wants...

DAMN you're gay.

1. unzip pants

2. tuck north

quote:Originally posted by actionfaad:

DAMN you're gay.

Yeah, I guess in your world wanting a girl makes you gay... Freakin' idiot.

Tuck it under your waist band and tighten your belt, that way its not painful and when it goes limp again it will just slip back down.

Haha, I gave my boyfriend an erection yesterday and then my sister came into the room. I couldn't help but laugh while he shuffled away awkwardly so he could adjust himself...lol

quote:Originally posted by Wintermute:

Never worry about unwanted erections again.

I present to you The CURVE (http://www.extremerestraints.com/the-curve-male-chastity-belt_64.html)



that looks soooo painful

I have an idea to get you laid OP.

When you get on of these boners run as fast as you can to a girl that isn't super religous or what not and say.

Quick I need your help, grab her and run to a closet. Then say I need you to help me hide this boner while you whip it out.

You know the rest.

+ Deuce +

quote:Originally posted by Bazzle:

Why would a chinamen need to hide his tiny chiny chubby?

I second that...its just fact that asians in general have inversed penis's.... they make up for it by being good at WOW, that reli gets the girls going in asia



/*/*/Michael

for the jeans, a good one is to just casually make a fist with your right hand and sort of place it over your crotchal regions, then act like youve got an itch and scratch with your left hand...that way you can think about, say, Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day, and you'll have a good enough cover...it works with gym shorts too, although the uptuck is legendary in its effectiveness.

quote:Originally posted by kmartcop88:

Yeah me neither, when I did, the up-tuck is always surefire. Either that or just strut that shit around and stand right next to girls when they're sitting down and shove it in their faces. HAHA.

QFT! <3 woo KMARTCOP!

Totse taught me this rhyme!

If you're ever caught of guard, when your soldier leaves his yard! Head under the belt, all shall be dealt, and you won't look like such a tard!