ok seriously guys what as got to be th easiest most pathetic thign youve evr got a boner to?

smelling my girlfriends farts.

well, i got the girl version of a boner (instant wetness) when he said something affectionate to me, like, "i love you," or things i shall not mention.

shemales FTW.

Walking down the aisle of the local Walmarkt looking at the multi pack of little girl knickers and 'trainer' bras...



Yes I am pathetic I know

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Walking down the aisle of the local Walmarkt looking at the multi pack of little girl knickers and 'trainer' bras...



Yes I am pathetic I know

Try working at a Costco and having to put together ALL OF THOSE LITTLE SEXY SWIMSUITS!!

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Walking down the aisle of the local Walmarkt looking at the multi pack of little girl knickers and 'trainer' bras...



Yes I am pathetic I know



yah im with yah there on that one, bras are arousing,somtimes

Holding hands.

ok well your sitting there with a boner thats obviosly not going away for a while.

what do ya do

Tuck it under your belt fool.

quote:Originally posted by Black Territory:

Tuck it under your belt fool.

thats crazy.....just soo crazy it just might work

I got a huge boner @ the Montreal airport.

but the question is from what?

I once got the female equivalent from watching a young man smoke a pipe on webcam..

It's an oral thing

That was more unusual than easiest, but it happened spontaniously.

I got the hardest boner ever the first time me and my first girlfriend held hands, like fucking rock hard and precum was dripping like mad...

the lamest shit was one time this girl with these big ass titties gave me a hug and when I felt them all up against me it just happened.

quote:Originally posted by asma123:

shemales FTW.



damnit! thats my line!

quote:Originally posted by Chronic The Hedgehog:

I got the hardest boner ever the first time me and my first girlfriend held hands, like fucking rock hard and precum was dripping like mad...

Not with your teacher?

During my physical there was an unannounced stiffy pointed up and to the left.

quote:Originally posted by HandOfZek:

During my physical there was an unannounced stiffy pointed up and to the left.

Ouch. How did that go down with the doctor?

quote:Originally posted by desktopmunchies:

Ouch. How did that go down with the doctor?

I doubt he could swallow it all...HOZ is quite large if HArdly There is to be believed! :P

Slow-dancing with a chick....sophomore year. I somehow avoided poking her with it tho by sticking my ass out a bit. And it was going down a pant leg. Must have looked akward as shit.

Oh yeah, and it happened three times on three seperate dances that night. Chick had such a tight athletic body tho so it's not that embarassing. At the time tho I was thinking of the most horrible shit I could think up. But my hands were on this chick so nothin was workin. Then makin a B-line to our table right after. WAs such a hassle.

My girlfriend called me back after i had broken up with her (in person of course) like three hours later... told me she'd been crying since i left... jesus man i got fucking hard fast

Touching a boob.

Boing.

quote:Originally posted by genericwittyusername:

My girlfriend called me back after i had broken up with her (in person of course) like three hours later... told me she'd been crying since i left... jesus man i got fucking hard fast

What'd she say after she'd told you that though? I could just imagine an awkward silence followed by someone hanging up.

Grade 6 algebra .

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Walking down the aisle of the local Walmarkt looking at the multi pack of little girl knickers and 'trainer' bras...

Yes I am pathetic I know



quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Try working at a Costco and having to put together ALL OF THOSE LITTLE SEXY SWIMSUITS!!

And yet some women still believe they think about sex more then men...

When I was about 12 I went swimming at this water park when I was going down the slide I saw a chick with really big ass tits and I could almost see her nipples fuck that was fucken scary lol I just stayed in the pool till it calmed down.

quote:Originally posted by genericwittyusername:

My girlfriend called me back after i had broken up with her (in person of course) like three hours later... told me she'd been crying since i left... jesus man i got fucking hard fast

haha shit like that happens to me too

its so horrible

quote:Originally posted by Black Territory:

Tuck it under your belt fool.

What kind of man needs to be told this? Of course, not ALL erections are able to be belt-tucked......

The anguish of starving Africans...

Speaking of water parks... When I was between 11 and 14 can't remember, But everytime I went to a waterpark or the beach or anyplace I was only wearing shorts...

Particularly Soaking wet tight shorts I used to get a boner like ever 3 minutes... Didn't know how to hide it and it seemed like everyone was looking at the 12 year old with a boner.. LOL

You know I never really care when I get them that much. I will usually move it if it gets uncomfortable but other than that I don't really care. If a chicks looking at my dick oh well.

on second thought, when i was like, really pubescent (age 11?) i would get all wet and throbbing just from guys (my age!) talking to me for an extended period. i guess i thought they were flirting with me, which was really exciting because i was even more butt ugly than i am now, with braces and a flat chest.

quote:Originally posted by Black Territory:

Tuck it under your belt fool.

^Genius.



This thread.

Fall asleep in naked girlfriend's lap.

She wakes me up next morning first thing in my mind was smell of a moist vagina.

Bam rock hard and we fucked for an hour.

quote:Originally posted by KeanuReeves:

Fall asleep in naked girlfriend's lap.

She wakes me up next morning first thing in my mind was smell of a moist vagina.

Bam rock hard and we fucked for an hour.



This is the kind of shit I feel like I've been missing out on.

I need to get a girlfriend.

seeing a picture of my best friend in her bra and underwear

Haha I remember back in 6th grade sex ed I got hard to having to fill in the words on the diagram of a vagina.

quote:Originally posted by kmartcop88:

Haha I remember back in 6th grade sex ed I got hard to having to fill in the words on the diagram of a vagina.

Best.Reply.Ever

quote:Originally posted by among_the_living:

Best.Reply.Ever

thankyou

quote:Originally posted by kmartcop88:

Haha I remember back in 6th grade sex ed I got hard to having to fill in the words on the diagram of a vagina.

winner.

quote:Originally posted by Sprinkles:

Grade 6 algebra .

Same. Something about being in a dark room with a projector just makes me horny...Thoughts of Jessica Alba dancing through my head.

quote:Originally posted by littlesirlance:

thats crazy.....just soo crazy it just might work



It does work, and if no belt make sure you have a long shirt on, and move it verticle going up, trapped between the top of your pants/yourself.

works like a charm

quote:Originally posted by DeuceOmen:

the lamest shit was one time this girl with these big ass titties gave me a hug and when I felt them all up against me it just happened.



i feel your pain...

WTF you didn't know about the good ole up tuck?

quote:Originally posted by kmartcop88:

Haha I remember back in 6th grade sex ed I got hard to having to fill in the words on the diagram of a vagina.

man that was great.

in a related story, i think in sex ed. class in like 6th grade i got a hardon at the little diagram of the naked lady. i have shamed myself.

A mannequin in a store. A slutty girls store.

probably the most unusual thing that ever gave gave me wood was, for some reason, every fucking day i rode the bus to school, without fail, i would get a fat hard on. i have no idea what it was, usually i tried to just sleep on the bus anyway, so it's not like i was looking at some hot chick or thinking about too much....more just passing out and blank in the head. i think maybe just the vibration from the bus or something?

~meaty

http://tinyurl.com/ctnmt

Pirate I can understand cause I used to ride mass transit and the back seat was so shaky when the bus stopped your eyes sort of shook in your vision (cause it was right next to the engine)

But, I would think of a girl or be talking with these lessbian girls that got on at the same time as most of the time as me when I was in HS when it happened.

quote:Originally posted by TheMeatPirate:

probably the most unusual thing that ever gave gave me wood was, for some reason, every fucking day i rode the bus to school, without fail, i would get a fat hard on. i have no idea what it was, usually i tried to just sleep on the bus anyway, so it's not like i was looking at some hot chick or thinking about too much....more just passing out and blank in the head. i think maybe just the vibration from the bus or something?

~meaty

HAHAHAHA

You're reminding me of the time when it was cold on the bus

I sat next to a hot mexican who was talking to someone else while i pretended to doze off with my hands in the sleeves jacking off my warm dick as the vibration of the bus knocked her ass and legs into me.

quote:Originally posted by TheMeatPirate:

probably the most unusual thing that ever gave gave me wood was, for some reason, every fucking day i rode the bus to school, without fail, i would get a fat hard on. i have no idea what it was, usually i tried to just sleep on the bus anyway, so it's not like i was looking at some hot chick or thinking about too much....more just passing out and blank in the head. i think maybe just the vibration from the bus or something?

~meaty

Been there.

I was sitting on this girl's porch -- I didn't really even know her, she was a friend of a friend -- but she was wearing jean shorts and she was sitting in a lawn chair with her legs under her. She went to switch her legs from one side to the other and from the angle I was sitting at I got a glimpse up her shorts to her panties. Instant boner.

Another instance: I was working with this hot girl and accidentally brushed against her boobs.

Whenever my girlfriend's orgasming, or just getting there.

Or, like... Woah.

We have a tickle thing, because it turns her on a lot and it does the same to me to hear her giggle and stuff, so I tickle her all the time and she tickles me fairly often.

So, I'm visiting from Florida and I haven't seen her in two months, I just finished getting her off and she starts to lightly brush her fingertips on that area below my bellybutton, and it was like SHBOING. It didn't help that she started going under the elastic but of my boxers, either.

The worst part was that she was just teasing, since there were other people in the room (our friends, sleeping), and it's a lot quieter to get her off than me and stuff.

Penises are pretty damn awesome, but they're kinda inconvenient at times.