Alright! That's it! I was never told about the Birds and the Bees (Atleast the full story of it) and my parents let me just kind of wander through the sexual garden of life, so I was never told the story... At all. Neither have most of my friends (Atleast those I asked about it). I just recently googled it, because I want to know. Now, can anyone tell me the story of the birds and the bees?

I can only do it with panda props.

There's a man panda and a lady panda.

They start to notice each other around, and get shy. When the man panda gathers up the courage and money, he asks the lady panda on a date. Once successful, the man panda kisses the lady panda. And then BOOM! Babies all over the place.

Ok that was bad.

Isn't it something to do with bees pollinating flowers & birds building their filthy nests to do dirty things in?

Let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees

and the flowers and the trees,

the moon up above, and the thing called love.

Let me tell you 'bout the stars in the sky,

the girl and the guy

and the way they could kiss

on a night like this.

When I look into your big brown eyes,

it's very plain to see

that it's time you learn about the facts in life

startin' from A to Z.

Oh...Let me tell you 'bout the birds...

"And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you

Just what you want me to

You're not the kind that needs to tell me

About the birds and the bees

Do you find this happens all the time

Crucial point one day becomes a crime

And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you

Just what I want to do

I'm not the kind that needs to tell you

I've lost you I've lost I've lost I've lost you...."

Lawl, New Order.



Anyways, borrow a book on reproduction, or directly ask your folks how sex works. I mean, if you haven't figured it out by now you're way overdue, kid.

In fact, go to www.wikipedia.org (http://www.wikipedia.org) and search for 'sexual intercourse'.

BAM.

[This message has been edited by socratic (edited 12-29-2006).]

watch porn

fucking hell.

yeah, watch porn.

[This message has been edited by Aragami (edited 12-29-2006).]

I've always kind of wondered about that analogy myself. Which one is the guy? I would think the bee, since it has the stinger that penetrates... however the bird has the pecker.

quote:Originally posted by Flock:

I can only do it with panda props.

There's a man panda and a lady panda.

They start to notice each other around, and get shy. When the man panda gathers up the courage and money, he asks the lady panda on a date. Once successful, the man panda kisses the lady panda. And then BOOM! Babies all over the place.

Ok that was bad.

DAMN IT WHY DO YOU TEASE ME SO WOMAN?!

*Throws you onto my bed after turning you into a sexy panda for panda snuggling and cuddling and...*

EDiT: Mmmmmmmm... Pandas... *Drools*

[This message has been edited by Gus (edited 12-29-2006).]

Jeez.

How to have sex:

1. Tell the girl to stand on her head

2. Once she's standing on her head, start to rub your knees

3. The girl will start to rub her elbow and pat her foot, this is a sign that she's ready to fuck

4. Take your clothes off

5. Put on some music, preferably "Head, shoulders, knees, and toes" (this will get her in the mood)

6. Start screaming in her face

7. Donald duck will walk into the room and bring you your baby.

quote:Originally posted by BloodyRevolutions:

Jeez.

How to have sex:

1. Tell the girl to stand on her head

2. Once she's standing on her head, start to rub your knees

3. The girl will start to rub her elbow and pat her foot, this is a sign that she's ready to fuck

4. Take your clothes off

5. Put on some music, preferably "Head, shoulders, knees, and toes" (this will get her in the mood)

6. Start screaming in her face

7. Donald duck will walk into the room and bring you your baby.



lol @ u bob.

I find it amusing how half the people assume I want to know the story because I don't know about sex, and the other half are trying ways of telling me. The panda one was the best, by far, but I still want to know the EXACT story. It's kind of just for a reference, when I have kids (I'm 20 now, but was never told the story. As I said before, I found out everything by doing it... And porn...). Perhaps Wikipedia will know the story... *Runs off to check*

Well... Wikipedia doesn't have it... That slut. Suppose I must continue my wait.

You don't think it's just a euphemism for talking about what goes on between a Great Big Man & a Li'l Bit o' Purty?

quote:Originally posted by Mabas:

Alright! That's it! I was never told about the Birds and the Bees (Atleast the full story of it) and my parents let me just kind of wander through the sexual garden of life, so I was never told the story... At all. Neither have most of my friends (Atleast those I asked about it). I just recently googled it, because I want to know. Now, can anyone tell me the story of the birds and the bees?

B&B is a direct relation to nature, Every species thinks it needs to fuck, So it does, Birds and Bees was coined because someone down the line was to pussy to use the word fuck and said birds and bees probably out of some kind of retarded cocaine stupor.

By golly watson You've done it agian!

It's a modern term used to refer to the common metaphor of bees & birds helping the pollination of flowers. That's it. There's no story. Sorry to burst your bubble.

The Birds & The Bees (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_birds_and_the_bees)

[This message has been edited by Toraton (edited 12-29-2006).]

i dontget why their is a story to cover it up i was never explaiend to and i turned out fine

+1 for sex ed lol

Turned out fine...

I bet if one could find all the letters sent to all the sex/relationship columnists from the last 30 years... There would be the same dozen questions asked 30,000,000 times.

People always claim they know... until it's turns out that they don't & claiming that they do is just a device to boost their ego. Well, whatever 'works'.

The farthest that convo ever went with my parents was my dad saying

"So have you looked up that stuff on the internet?"

"Yes"

"Well just keep in mind that's not at all what it's like in real life"

[/talking for 1/2 hour]

quote:Originally posted by Flock:

I can only do it with panda props.

There's a man panda and a lady panda.

They start to notice each other around, and get shy. When the man panda gathers up the courage and money, he asks the lady panda on a date. Once successful, the man panda kisses the lady panda. And then BOOM! Babies all over the place.

Ok that was bad.

That story had everything...i cried...i laughed and the ending was great :P like a real porno,...i learned from farm animals...no coment

The talk I got went something like "Jim, wear a condom and don't fuck an ugly chick, I don't want ugly grandkids."

hopefully is a bee fucking a bird.. cuzz if its the other way around that bee won't be buzzin nemore.

Alright. So I guess this is the conclusion to this thread, since no one knows, not even Wikipedia. I guess the Panda thing shall have to suffice with my children... Eh, always good.