Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex (http://www.eioba.com/a2849/fifty_mistakes_men_make_when_having_sex)

Fifty mistakes women make when having sex (http://www.eioba.com/a67643/fifty_mistakes_women_make_when_having_sex)

Some of them are obvious.

Looks like a rather basic obvious list. Thanks, but maybe throw in so discussion? Pick out a few that you think really pertain to your gender?

Fuck, what lazy writers. You may as well just write one list and say "Exact opposite for opposite sex"

quote:Originally posted by Psychonautical:

Fuck, what lazy writers. You may as well just write one list and say "Exact opposite for opposite sex"

Yeah I know, that's what I thought when I read it. Talk about contradiction.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Looks like a rather basic obvious list. Thanks, but maybe throw in so discussion? Pick out a few that you think really pertain to your gender?

http://www.eioba.com/a61006/finding_the_g_spot_a_guided_exercise I found that article. Not sure about it.

quote:22 Coming before she's got excited or begun to enjoy sex

There aren't many men who can last long enough to really satisfy a woman who enjoys vaginal intercourse and G-spot stimulation. If you can't be bothered learning how to be a long lasting lover, then at least have the decency to keep going for a few minutes so she gets some pleasure. This isn't hard, and there are plenty of ways you can learn to extend intercourse and not come so quickly. Do some research on Google for "end premature ejaculation". See also number 26.

23 Not coming at all - or losing your erection when you put the condom on

If you're one of that rarer breed of men who has trouble coming during intercourse, may we respectfully suggest you see a sexual therapist? You can then deal with this problem, learn to come more quickly, and avoid giving her a numb vagina and an intimate knowledge of the exact shade of color you painted your bedroom ceiling. If you're one of the many men who lose their erection when the condom comes out of its foil wrapper and onto the head of your penis, it's back to Google for a search on, surprisingly enough, "losing erection when putting on a condom".



Fuck, you girls are NEVER fucking happy are you?

All I can do is come early or not come at all, there IS no fucking inbetween for me. Jesus titty fucking christ I hate women.

All obvious.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Fuck, you girls are NEVER fucking happy are you?

All I can do is come early or not come at all, there IS no fucking inbetween for me. Jesus titty fucking christ I hate women.

Hahaha, I was waiting for someone else to come across that little gem.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Fuck, you girls are NEVER fucking happy are you?

All I can do is come early or not come at all, there IS no fucking inbetween for me. Jesus titty fucking christ I hate women.

ummm, yes, because ALL OF US females wrote that guide and agree with it. and of course, men NEVER complain about what girls do wrong doing sex.

take a valium.

For starters, way to contribute to the conversation, without contributing to the conversation Gus... c'mon pick out a few.

Most of the guys shit was fairly straight-forward, except that one about the bra. If you can't undo a bra, learn. I could do it one handed (1 or 2 fingers + thumb) when I was 17... and Casanova I was not back then.

For the girls... might I point out

quote:23. Undressing in the dark. If you're shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either

Keep this in mind. So many girls tend to do 1 of the 2. I wanna see something, and not just 1/2 a second of your ass as you disappear under the covers.

I don't see how you can't take off a Bra though. It's easy to do without looking. Well the hooks are, you know?

quote: 40 Not romancing her



Women love romance. Men put up with it, or do it to get sex. True or false? Probably true, but the romantic "chase" is deeply rewarding for most men (i.e. seducing and winning a woman makes us feel deeply fulfilled), and romance is an essential part of that process. If you're able to continue being romantic once you're an established couple, then you set yourself head and shoulders above the rest of your fellow men, and you stand that much greater chance of getting regular, passionate sex.

Okay... someone help me here. What the fuck does this mean? What is "romance?" Bringing her flowers...? Taking her out to dinner...? That's about all I can think of.

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Okay... someone help me here. What the fuck does this mean? What is "romance?" Bringing her flowers...? Taking her out to dinner...? That's about all I can think of.

Candles, chocolate, rose petals, essential oils, massages...

You know, all that bullshit we don't do...



[This message has been edited by arquin (edited 12-25-2006).]

Thanks, arquin. I have no idea what is romantic. I mean, I can memorize various things other people tell me is romantic, but I have no innate sense for it. I feel defective.

Don't feel defective man. Being romantic to that magnitude isn't in any guy's nature. But it's important to know what being romantic is. Being romantic can be a lot of things like writing a poem or shit like that. Massaging isn't that great of an idea if you don't ever do it. You just gotta be romantic to get some s-e-x.

quote:Originally posted by TranquilZen:

Massaging isn't that great of an idea if you don't ever do it.

Why?

If you're shit at it, learn.

If you're good at it, learn more.

A great massage leads to sex. Period.

I used to suck at them, and my girlfriend would ask me to stop. Then I started learning from a friend who is a physiotherapist. Now, there's a wet spot on my bed afterwards. And I get sexy time!

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Why?

If you're shit at it, learn.

If you're good at it, learn more.

A great massage leads to sex. Period.

I used to suck at them, and my girlfriend would ask me to stop. Then I started learning from a friend who is a physiotherapist. Now, there's a wet spot on my bed afterwards. And I get sexy time!

That is if you can learn. I, myself dont know anyone in that business. For some people you just gotta learn from experience and of course common sense.

Haha, I read through all the male ones and some of the female ones. I liked number 17 for the ladies, which goes as follows:

17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High.

Very sound advice, and unlike damn near everything else in that article, that one wasn't too obvious.

I was also confused like a motherfucker from number 21 on the male list:

21 Expecting her to make love bottom up

What girl in her right mind has anything against some doggy style, even just every once in a while?

Also, that whole dominance thing is a bunch of crap. I think I speak for most guys when I say that yes, sometimes I just want to shove you to the bed and fuck your brains out in a very heman way, completely dominant. Other times I want to have you on top with me pinned, completely helpless. Contrast and variance is nice, and any man that doesn't prefer a little of both is a dangerously imbalanced faggot if you ask me.

Now,back in reality....

28 Trying to force her head further down on her cock when she's giving you oral

People should stop following guides, and get primal!

quote: 33 Apologizing for the size of your penis



Just in case you ever feel inclined to apologize for not matching up to the guys in the wrong kind of movies, just remember: 98% of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis. If you're with one of the other two percent, you need to find a new lover.



You mean that it has happened before, that a man and woman are naked and ready for sex and he apologises about his small cock?

Thats hilariously pathetic.

quote:Originally posted by Docta?:

33 Apologizing for the size of your penis



Just in case you ever feel inclined to apologize for not matching up to the guys in the wrong kind of movies, just remember: 98% of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis. If you're with one of the other two percent, you need to find a new lover.



You mean that it has happened before, that a man and woman are naked and ready for sex and he apologises about his small cock?

Thats hilariously pathetic.

hahaha exactly what i was thinking.

quote:Originally posted by Byss:

... and any man that doesn't prefer a little of both is a dangerously imbalanced faggot if you ask me.

Or, you know, not some little skimp of a man... It's kinda hard for a woman to pin someone MY size down, even if she's some massive butch thing. It just doesn't happen, even if I wanted it to.

31 Thinking that a porno movie has anything to do with real life



Porn is not good for men's egos. Real life isn't like that, OK?

... I don't get this, I've only had sex with one girl and when we had sex it was very much like porn. I don't get when they say that real sex isn't like porn wtf!? When I have sex it is like a short porno... and slightly more intimate.

quote:Originally posted by Flock:

People should stop following guides, and get primal!

*RAWR*!!

*Jumps Flock*

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Thanks, arquin. I have no idea what is romantic. I mean, I can memorize various things other people tell me is romantic, but I have no innate sense for it. I feel defective.

I think you're looking at romance the wrong way. Romance is basically little things that makes your loved one feel all nice. The word has been someone what highjacked to mean cheesey/traditional shit...ie flowers, taking women out to dinner, really expensive mass produced cars and teddybears.

But I mean, romance can be alot of things. Just whatever you know makes your partner all happy. MAKE SENSE?

37 made me smile..

Some of that shit was comedy but legit....

Haha yea guides dont always work, but have some descent pointers. I mean like seriously is someone going to have the guide printed out and be like hold on babe let me see what number 35 says again....

^^^ GAhbage

22 Coming before she's got excited or begun to enjoy sex

OH NOES, NOT HER PLEASURE!

23 Not coming at all - or losing your erection when you put the condom on

Fuck that too

24 Asking her how it was for her

That's just fucking retarded

quote:Originally posted by CatharticWeek:



24 Asking her how it was for her

That's just fucking retarded

That gets annoying, but I guess sometimes it's hard to tell if a girl is the quiet type.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

That gets annoying, but I guess sometimes it's hard to tell if a girl is the quiet type.

Yeah exactly.

If they dot ever say how it was TRUTHFULLY and then decide to leave because the sex isn't good enough then they're just stupid.

"37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters."

Ahh man, i remember kicking over that midget one time during sex....fun times o.O

quote:Originally posted by Furor:

Fifty mistakes women make when having sex (http://www.eioba.com/a67643/fifty_mistakes_women_make_when_having_sex)



Heh, I can just imagine....

"Honey, last night you broke rules #17, #24 and #41. You better give me the night of my life tonight or I'm sleeping with the secretary.

quote:Originally posted by YouLookFourteen:

ummm, yes, because ALL OF US females wrote that guide and agree with it. and of course, men NEVER complain about what girls do wrong doing sex.

take a valium.

LMAO If I had a nickel for everytime I met a benzo queen!

quote:Originally posted by Darth_Maddolis:

Heh, I can just imagine....

"Honey, last night you broke rules #17, #24 and #41. You better give me the night of my life tonight or I'm sleeping with the secretary.

LMAO you just made my day.