So, my mother sent me a text today to say she's been beaten up by her boyfriend. Appareantly it's the 'worst she's ever had' (they've been together a while). She won't leave the house for a month and she's on some kind of pain killer called codeine (can the druggies here tell me anything about that?).

See the thing is, it's not suprising. Upsetting yes, suprising no. I mean, she was with this guy while I was still living with her. During that time, he's stolen from us, assaulted her, assaulted me etc. He's a nutcase, half her age, and Maori. They've broken up several times before, but she keeps inviting him back.

It's just...it's fucking hopeless. What the hell do I do? show her sympathy when it may only happen again? I'm tired of having to hear about this shit. It's partly her own fault for never just getting rid of him once and for all.

And I want to murder this fucker. I'm not even sure if I could kick his ass or not, but I feel like trying. But what's the point? Natives will be natives, that's why you don't let them inside. She fails to realise this. That and it's very important I don't get a police record.

So I dunno, this post is sort of to vent, and sort of to ask, wtf?, and to see if people have had similar shit, and to see what the hell I should do. I don't even know anymore.

hey rabbitweed. sorry to hear about it. i think that you should get authorities involved if possible, such as the police if there is evidence. euda agrees. there are also organizations for battered women that she should be referred to. this is out of your power, unfortunately.

Agreed with leuda.

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

she's on some kind of pain killer called codeine (can the druggies here tell me anything about that?).



Weak opiate, OTC in Canada. (I'm not a druggy though )

Lauren says it quite well. Call the police and have you mother seek help if she feels it would be benificial.

-F☺rd

quote:Originally posted by stab:

Agreed with leuda.



hahaha....

quote:Originally posted by stab:

Agreed with leuda.

i c wut u did thar.

you should just let the po po do their shit. murder is plan b.

Man, it's HER problem really. Tell her exactly that: She's the one causing these problems by staying with this loser. And she'll be the only one that can end it by breaking it off with him and dating a REAL MAN.

Otherwise, you're not helping one bloody bit, man.

She's been beaten up all her life. And she still can't stop drinking. It stresses me out but I can do nothing. I've tried. Why will this time be different?

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

Why will this time be different?

It won't, of course. It's what she's used to. Get away from that bullshit, because it's unhealthy.

quote:Originally posted by Ford Prefect:

Weak opiate, OTC in Canada. (I'm not a druggy though )

Lauren says it quite well. Call the police and have you mother seek help if she feels it would be benificial.

-F☺rd

OTC in Canada? Not that I'm aware of. Tylenol-3 is prescription only up here!

@OP:

The best thing you can possibly do to help your mother at this point is to talk to her about this guy (like I'm sure you already have in the past) and proceed to contact your local authorities. Also be sure to take pictures of her bruises and keep documentation of her prescription pain killers. In the event of a trial you will need evidence, and that may take a while depending on your judicial system.

I am sorry to hear about your mother.

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

So, my mother sent me a text today to say she's been beaten up by her boyfriend. Appareantly it's the 'worst she's ever had' (they've been together a while). She won't leave the house for a month and she's on some kind of pain killer called codeine (can the druggies here tell me anything about that?).

so go over there

stab him

then run away with yur mom to university like that movie with robert dinero and leonardo dicaprio only this time the mustard is EMPTY!

See the thing is, it's not suprising. Upsetting yes, suprising no. I mean, she was with this guy while I was still living with her. During that time, he's stolen from us, assaulted her, assaulted me etc. He's a nutcase, half her age, and Maori. They've broken up several times before, but she keeps inviting him back.

It's just...it's fucking hopeless. What the hell do I do? show her sympathy when it may only happen again? I'm tired of having to hear about this shit. It's partly her own fault for never just getting rid of him once and for all.

And I want to murder this fucker. I'm not even sure if I could kick his ass or not, but I feel like trying. But what's the point? Natives will be natives, that's why you don't let them inside. She fails to realise this. That and it's very important I don't get a police record.

So I dunno, this post is sort of to vent, and sort of to ask, wtf?, and to see if people have had similar shit, and to see what the hell I should do. I don't even know anymore.

go home and stay for a while. Wait till he assults you, then fucking kill that asshole.

Self defense.

He fled the scene before the cops came.

I stopped reading after codeine.. haha good ol' codeine, loved that stuff

ok now..

Get 3 friends, a van, sky masks, and choloform. Kidnapp him, tie him up, throw him in the van, beat him to an inch of his life, and leave him in the middle of fucking nowhere while passed out on chloro.. think about it.. its your own fuckin mother, the woman that cared for you and watched you grow up when you were a little toddler, whos best moment of life was probably having you, the woman that cared and nurtured you.. your gonne have some fuckin punk treat her like that? she came to you because she needs your help dude.. im not saying go with my plan, but step the fuck up and be a man.

quote:Originally posted by Bastard Man:

OTC in Canada? Not that I'm aware of. Tylenol-3 is prescription only up here!



But T1s are OTC. And some cough syrups.

Your mother's just been beaten up and she's on painkillers, there's not much she can do to stop you from taking the situation into your own hands.

1. Get evidence on this fucking lowlife, call police, apply for restraining order.

2. Invervention with your mother, after which you sign her up for AA.

3. Once done, sign her up to one of those free internet dating services so she's preoccupied and happy finding a man.

This is probably the more effort/time consuming route btw.

you steal his land and country them complain about some slapping?

If she's stupid enough to let a black person inside for reasons other than menial tasks, then she's just owned herself, really.

There's nothing you can do.

If you tried to push her into getting rid of him, she'd probably turn against you.

All you can hope is that in the end the survivial instinct will take over controll and she'll leave.



Untill then..

quote:Originally posted by jimany:

But T1s are OTC. And some cough syrups.

Regardless of whether they're OTC in Canada, they *are* in New Zealand, which is the setting of this.

Though apparently these ones are prescribed to her, too.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

If she's stupid enough to let a black person inside for reasons other than menial tasks, then she's just owned herself, really.





Wow I really liked you, up until you said that.

You make yourself sound like a piece of shit saying that. I have some extremely close maori and pacific island friends. Please, what a pathetic stereotype.

Rabbitweed, from what your've told me of your mother she is a really hopeless case. All you can do it remind her of how much of an asshole he is for treating her like that, but really she has to get the guts to throw him out for good herself.

So she did call the police? But he ran away? Therefore won't they be looking for him? Tell her to dump him, kick him out and get a fucking restraining order.

But? If she kicks him out? Who'll give her the 'make-up buttthexxthorthszszs'?

Ask her why she's such a crazy ol' gash? Find out if the 'm-u b' is really so very fine? Sound polite by ask rude & direct questions.

Like is his powerful 'n manly wingwang is just that darn good that she'll put up with anything? Does he beat her 'cause she drunkenly does too many other guys?

On the other hand studies appear to show that Kiwiszszs have 7X the rates of Japanese depression because they don't eat as much Ocean Fish/Omega-3s?

[This message has been edited by moonmeister (edited 12-22-2006).]

The authorities often can't do a whole lot. You pretty much need the victim to press charges before anything can be done, and that usually doesn't happen due to fear. Certainly doesn't sound like your mother'll do that. My mother was in an abusive relationship for years; she eventually got out of it by moving to another country (Scotland to England) and not telling my father where she'd gone. Stayed with her parents for a while; if they'd not been down there and bought a bigger house for all of us (me, mother, sister, plus them) to stay in, we'd have ended up homeless. So see if you can take your mother away from it, to live with someone else. I'm sure her parents would understand and give her a place to stay for a while, and she needs to get away from him ASAP.

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:

words



It's called a sense of humour, kate.

Now get your big ass down off that high horse!



Edit: ON retrospect it wasnt that funny.Sorry.



I guess I only see the worst of any races, but I somehow have the bad luck of ending up working with the rudest most disrespectfull unpleasant lazy people, and often, they tend to be black. So I guess my oppinion on black people is kind of fucked up because I never get to meet the nice good ones.

Much like with any race, really.

[This message has been edited by yoyobek (edited 12-22-2006).]

Stupid that you haven't done anything about it yet.

See if you can get your hands on some cyanide, or browse the net/totse for some easy devastating home-made poisons.

Naturally, devastating poisons are never really easy to make with natural materials ie stuff you'd find at a grocery mart, but search- or at least make it look like an accident.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

If she's stupid enough to let a black person inside for reasons other than menial tasks, then she's just owned herself, really.



Actually, they're azn, not black.

OP: get your mother a taser or something for Christmas. I'm not sure if they're legal here in NZ, but who really cares.

Rabbitweed, I'm sorry but you need to tell your Mom to fuck off and never tell you about this sort of crap again.

You see SHE CHOOSES TO STAY and be beaten.

Someone came by your house and beat the shit out of you what would you do? Yep, you'd either call the police and press charges or you'd load some buddies into your jute and go hunt the fucker down.

Your mom could same. Most places the laws now are so anti-man that his arse would be bubba's in minutes.

She chooses not to. It is that simple and it isn't fair she then dumps on you about it.

Jack, people don't stay in abusive relationships by choice, just the same as drug addicts don't stay addicted to a drug by choice. It's incredibly difficult to get out of a situation like that and requires a hell of a lot of willpower, which some people just don't have. It's beaten into a woman in a relationship like that that there are consequences for anything they do wrong, and just the thought of going to the police is enough to put the fear of death into most of them. If she did, chances are they wouldn't be able to do anything until they'd gathered some hard evidence, and until they did she'd be in exactly the same situation, with the added risk of him finding out she'd gone to the police (and all it would take is a simple home visit) and she could end up beaten into a coma or something. It's his mother. He should do anything he can to protect her.

Awww? He could 'lesson' the man up?

There is no saying that she wouldn't testify against her son in court though? Just because he gives the bugger a set of bruised ribs that he so richly deserves, don't mean his mum will appreciate it?

>>>If you feel up to it? You could go visit & the leetlest, tinyist wrong thing he does?

CONSEQUENCES!!!...

[This message has been edited by moonmeister (edited 12-22-2006).]

That's pretty bad. My friend is in something simlar, he doesn't live at home anymore but technically he's not kicked out.

I remember on the news when There was a mother of about 47, and she had two kids one 16, and one younger. One of the male 'family friends' raped the mother one day and she told the 16 yr old (Male)

he then went round to the guys house with a baseball bat and killed him. Erm, I think his sentance was pretty short.

I've been in a very similar situation.

Except he was the drunk, not my mom, and it was her house.

She would kick him out time after time, and he would come back, time after time.



quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Man, it's HER problem really. Tell her exactly that: She's the one causing these problems by staying with this loser. And she'll be the only one that can end it by breaking it off with him and dating a REAL MAN.

Otherwise, you're not helping one bloody bit, man.

Thats sorta the best thing, tell its her problem, by not sorting it, shes still causing it - Myself, I got pissed off saying it so often I moved out and just told her to fuck off, its her life shes fucking up now.



Ofcorse, that didn't stop me from being pissed off.

So I broke that fucking cunts jaw and generally kicked seven shades of shit out of him and then forced my mom to make him go to rehab or whatever for the drink, If hes not going to fuck off, I might as well just try to improve the situation..

By the way, this guy is alot bigger than me, but it was just the case of let him get totally drunk, then make one move against my mom, and thats when I just let 2-3 years of pure hate out on him.



Good luck, mate.

Violence, is some times an acceptable solution.



[This message has been edited by M a t t Y (edited 12-22-2006).]

Family are worth going to jail for.

My dad told me he was going to beat my mum.

We had a 'talk'.

Then he told my mum he never hit her because I made him afraid for his life.

That's how it should be. "Hit my mum and die", and this dude isn't even your DAD. He's just some young dude who's fucking her.

If you choose to be with pricks expect to get beaten every now and then.

Fuck your mother. If she's so stupid she fucks guys who are likely to beat her she deserves what she gets.

this is probably wasted on you though as stupidity runs in families.

"What the hell do I do?"

Stop caring.

Stupid people make stupid choices. Don't clean up their mistakes.



Family means nothing, you only think it does because everyone keeps saying it does.

I have more in common with strangers than i do with my parents.

OP'er how old are you?

I'm 19.

Just to clarify, she was beaten up at her own house, and her parents are long dead.

Here's a question: do I visit her for christmas or not? should I get some kind of confirmation this guys going to be gone for good and she's going to get a restraining order and that's the last of it? I am leaning towards jackketch's advice.

Oh and if I get a criminal record it will fuck up my life plans. I have no idea where the guy is though.

Well? Could you at least take some sweet pics of your ma's bruises & take them to a laywer or the popo? Or could you phone the popo's none-emerg line & ask if she needs to press charges?

You'd think the Doc's she saw would have informed the po? If you visit & he cuts up wise? What kind of record would you get for defending your ma?

Not gonna get a record for not defending her are you?

Maybe just forget it all? Like girls who want to be nice to the uncle/dad who beat/molested them when they were kids? "But!?? They're family!? Besides? Daddy was such a good fuck! Where else could a 6 yr old get such good thexxth!?"

codeine is fucking effective at treating pain (for none drug addicted people). It is commonly prescribed for back pain. very effective but more difficult to get hold of than other drugs.

I agree, I dont see hwat eh sees in some ethnic fuck. Girls always go for bad guys, fuck knows why, well acutally we all know why but... Anyway yeah a womens retreat/hostel. Having said that she owns the house I assume and some possessions so perhaps getting a restrainign order. However the monkey might not understand this, since there are soem really stupid women beaters so something more drastic 9change locks, alarm system, good dog??)

anyway sorry to hear about your problem

///Michael

It's her own fault, if it's happened to her numerous times by different guys. You should beat her up yourself.

If someone so much as harmed a hair on my mother's head, I'd be serving a life sentence for murder.

Now that's honoring your father and mother

^No you wouldn't.

Your mother is asking to be hit. I'm sorry but it is true. She probably likes being hit, otherwise why would she invite him back? Then why would she push him to a point where he hits her?

Completely her fault.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Man, she didn't even get any good meds huh?

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

^No you wouldn't.

Your mother is asking to be hit. I'm sorry but it is true. She probably likes being hit, otherwise why would she invite him back? Then why would she push him to a point where he hits her?

Completely her fault.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

She's probably become 'Pavloved' to the whole scene that she's in, eh? A whole chemical/hormonal/emotional stew of a relationship...

he's a complete thug so there is no point in beating him/threatening him. i suggest getting some evidence to the police. also, sorry about your mother mate, i would be mighty pissed if someone even touched mine.

whoever said that beating/threatening a thug doesnt change anything...is full of shit.you fucking knock that fucker upside of the head with a bat,and then knock his teeth out,and break his knees/ribs.

then tell him he will be living the rest of his short life in agonizing pain...he wont do shit.

Codine is a week opiate good pain releaver but can't really get high of of it. As for the other problem, grab some boys, kidnap his as and put him in your basement for a little while. I am not saying to hurt him but a little torture/threat will make him leave.

God, your a good troll.

Honestly, i immediately thought that she sounded selfish unloading on you... but I wouldn't see my mother hurt under any circumstance.

Give her the option of support, and if she refuses then tell her not to inform you of her hardships.

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

It's just...it's fucking hopeless. What the hell do I do?

Call the police.

One guy (my half brothers dad) pushed my mom when I was about 7. I didn't forget about it. She got him arrested and broke up with him after but when I turned 16 I saw him at the mall and I bearmaced him and kicked him in the head a bunch of times. I suggest doing something like that. If somone ever actually hit my mom I would kill them.

You really should catch up with the motherfucker with a bat in an alleyway somewhere. What's he going to do, call the cops?

=CK=