How far into a relationship should one first say "I love you?" I mean, I did just a few days ago, and I'm pretty happy I did, although we had only been going out for about a week.

Now, even though she says it back, I know that even though she tries to mean it, and she might believe she means it, I know it's not real, and sounds really "fake."

3 words that shouldnt be used loosely.

Yeah, I know. I told her that before, I "used to throw the words around aimlessly, without meaning or purpose, but if ever I say them to you, I want you to know that I mean it."

There was about a minute of pause/nothing important said, than I said, "I love you."

Yeah.

I said it after I'd known her for years, had been involved with her for half a year, and been officially, like, hers for months.

Probably still too soon? I don't know, but like you, I'm glad I did.

45 days, 3 hours and 17 seconds.

You tell your SO that you love her/him when you do, or if you do... every couple will be different.

After a week? that won't last.

I've known her for... about a year and a few months, and then we started going out.

A week?

Oh man I've had some real shockers in the 'I love you' department.

Don't say it till you really mean it, and know the person well.

Well I really meant it. I really, honestly did, but then when she said it, I knew that she didn't mean it.

But hell, I know I did, and I suppose that's all that counts.

kAtE-, should I have waited for her to say it?

What should I expect out of this relationship?

If you've never been in love it's easy to make the mistake of thinking your intense infatuation is love. It's always best to hold off to make sure your feelings are genuine and not a product of your current state of mind. Probably should have waited, but you can't go back in time. I just hope you still 'love' her in a few months.

A week is just kinda soon, that's all. I know I'd feel really uncomfortable if my boyfriend said it to me before a month.. there are so many sides to a person you don't see and even a month is pushing it as far as I'm concerned.

I had the guy that took my virginity said he loved me straight after we slept together, that freaked me out, rather then the fact I had just slept with someone for the first time.

The most serious boyfriend I've had, we didn't say the love word for about 4 months - I have to say that was the most healthy relationship I've had (and the most devestating when we broke up, because I knew that it was real love).

skimming this, you've heard this phrase many times already, but i gotta say it. just a week? i've been with my girlfriend for about 3 now, and any time i start thinking that, i give myself a mental kick in the ass. its too soon to really determine anything.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, well, I mean, I said what I meant, and if that's wrong, then fuck it. Her friends told me that she was "psyched" when she heard it, so I suppose that's a good thing.

I'm fucking crazy for her though, you know? I text her whenever I get my hands on the phone, and my heart skips when I see that on my computer or on my phone screen that "01 New Message." We had a 4 hour long telephone conversation the night I said it, and we both have trouble putting down the phone when we start talking to each other. Every time we see each other, (unless it's a brief "hello" in the hallways at school) we end up holding hands and making out. We were in the middle of the fucking mall, and I started fondling her between her legs. She lept up, and ran to the bathroom, telling me I'd given her an orgasm. Fuck, I really do damn love her.

quote:Originally posted by bassman:

3 words that shouldnt be used loosely.

Maybe people should say it when there isn't a reason to say it, because it's already known between the two.

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:



I had the guy that took my virginity said he loved me straight after we slept together, that freaked me out, rather then the fact I had just slept with someone for the first time.



quote:We were in the middle of the fucking mall, and I started fondling her between her legs. She lept up, and ran to the bathroom, telling me I'd given her an orgasm. Fuck, I really do damn love her.

Anyone else here see a connection?

quote:Originally posted by Bromden:

Anyone else here see a connection?

I told her I loved her before that, asshole.

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:

A week is just kinda soon, that's all. I know I'd feel really uncomfortable if my boyfriend said it to me before a month.. there are so many sides to a person you don't see and even a month is pushing it as far as I'm concerned.

I had the guy that took my virginity said he loved me straight after we slept together, that freaked me out, rather then the fact I had just slept with someone for the first time.

The most serious boyfriend I've had, we didn't say the love word for about 4 months - I have to say that was the most healthy relationship I've had (and the most devestating when we broke up, because I knew that it was real love).

^ Yeah i think shes knows her stuff, those words should NEVER be thrown around, I really do want to say them but I always remind myself that it will probably reveal itself when the time if right, already decided that no matter what i think i'm not saying those 3 words until its been at least a year...or 2, I'd feel pretty bad if i told someone that and realized that it really wasn't true.

So simply put...watch that it can really hurt people.

So true, this sounds more like lust, I've been with my girl for close to three months now and we still haven't said it. Some may say that this is crazy, but we've come to the conclusion that there isn't a set time or anything.... just whenever the time seems right.

So, I dont know if we'll be saying it any time soon, but I really can't wait until we know. But, this has been the best relationship i've ever been in.

But, seriously a week seems a little too soon to realise that you are in 'love' with her, it just more or less seems the stage of the relationship where you are utterly obsessed with everything about her. I've often mistaken that for love. But, that's my input.

I can't wait until the day that i can tell my, girlfriend that i love her etc.

Mindless: You want to but you choose not to? That sounds pretty fucking stupid. I don't see why it's bad to simply state the truth when you feel it's right, but whatever. You guys are more experienced at this than I.

Well, the thing is I want to, but I dont know if its called love or not, hence i'm holding back to be sure that I am. Because, those words are just thrown around so loosely and when I say it, I want it to mean something.

But, this is a pretty huge subject with me and my girl.

ehhh. "I love you" means nothing anymore.

If she's trashy, lead her on, fuck, and then book.

If she's classy, be real.

my first boyfriend, he said it first and i just would kind of say it like...because i sort of felt like i should. i don't know, i was 15. it was like he said it, so i figured i should say it back or be a big jerk.

my next relationship, i didn't say it at all, because i didn't like that i had said it before and not meant it. that really bothered me.

the relationship i'm in now, i think it was between 3 weeks to a month before i said it. and i said it first. it sounds fast but we took everything pretty slow in that relationship, and i'm still with him. so that just goes to show. i wish there was something more that i could say because...then i loved him in a completely different way than i love him now, or did 6 months ago, or a year ago, or than i will in another 4 months.

i remember saying "I Love You" to a girl about a week in, I was Really drunk though!

I think I'm pretty shit hot.

So I've got this new belief system "Great girls deserve to be told, but they don't deserve to hear it"

So when I'd wake up at 3am sleeping next to my gf, I'd tell her I love her, give her a kiss on the shoulder, and go back to sleep.

Saved us a lot of trouble. Because it turns out she heard it 2/3 times. So she knew I was saying it, and we didn't have to make it a big thing.

Amen to that.

Edit

Just because you've been with someone a month, 6 months or 20 years doesn't mean you love them. Most of the relationships will probably not yield true love and until you experience it first hand you won't know any better.



[This message has been edited by deathtojack (edited 11-06-2006).]